I've got a dad back
@dadback.bsky.social
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Me, starting my work day: alright, let's get this bread
My boss (who is secretly a duck): HELL YEAH LET'S GOOOO
My boss (who is secretly a duck): HELL YEAH LET'S GOOOO
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A study finds that deep sleep rewires the brain to eliminate anxiety.
My own study suggests that anxiety rewires the brain to eliminate deep sleep.
My own study suggests that anxiety rewires the brain to eliminate deep sleep.
November 16, 2025 at 2:06 AM
A study finds that deep sleep rewires the brain to eliminate anxiety.
My own study suggests that anxiety rewires the brain to eliminate deep sleep.
My own study suggests that anxiety rewires the brain to eliminate deep sleep.
Reposted by I've got a dad back
If you're not sure which is your real wife and which is the ghoul that has assumed your wife's form, just tell them both to calm down. Whichever one gets mad, that's the wife
November 15, 2025 at 2:27 PM
If you're not sure which is your real wife and which is the ghoul that has assumed your wife's form, just tell them both to calm down. Whichever one gets mad, that's the wife
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“Get in the car, no time to explain!” I yell to the stranger on the sidewalk who, justifiably, does not get into my vehicle.
November 15, 2025 at 6:24 PM
“Get in the car, no time to explain!” I yell to the stranger on the sidewalk who, justifiably, does not get into my vehicle.
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[watching murder documentary]
Her: That’s not how I would have done it.
Me: *never sleeps again*
Her: That’s not how I would have done it.
Me: *never sleeps again*
November 13, 2025 at 11:45 PM
[watching murder documentary]
Her: That’s not how I would have done it.
Me: *never sleeps again*
Her: That’s not how I would have done it.
Me: *never sleeps again*
Reposted by I've got a dad back
Her: what are you thinking about?
Me: If I had photosynthesis would I have to stay inside to lose weight?
Her: [puts clothes back on]
Me: If I had photosynthesis would I have to stay inside to lose weight?
Her: [puts clothes back on]
November 13, 2025 at 5:24 AM
Her: what are you thinking about?
Me: If I had photosynthesis would I have to stay inside to lose weight?
Her: [puts clothes back on]
Me: If I had photosynthesis would I have to stay inside to lose weight?
Her: [puts clothes back on]
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Me: I'm so lucky. Everything has gone right today.
Newly opened soy sauce packet: Is that so?
Newly opened soy sauce packet: Is that so?
November 6, 2025 at 3:34 PM
Me: I'm so lucky. Everything has gone right today.
Newly opened soy sauce packet: Is that so?
Newly opened soy sauce packet: Is that so?
Reposted by I've got a dad back
My kid is an HONOR STUDENT at HIGH SCHOOL and she will LIVE TO REGRET IT
November 15, 2025 at 9:52 PM
My kid is an HONOR STUDENT at HIGH SCHOOL and she will LIVE TO REGRET IT
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worms whenever it rains
November 15, 2025 at 9:57 PM
worms whenever it rains
The guy who named Bigfoot is not allowed to name anything else. Imagine seeing a giant humanoid creature roaming through the woods and thinking to yourself, "Holy shit, I bet that thing has huge feet"
November 15, 2025 at 6:12 PM
The guy who named Bigfoot is not allowed to name anything else. Imagine seeing a giant humanoid creature roaming through the woods and thinking to yourself, "Holy shit, I bet that thing has huge feet"
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I’m eating for 2 now, according to the serving suggestion on the packet.
November 14, 2025 at 9:17 AM
I’m eating for 2 now, according to the serving suggestion on the packet.
Reposted by I've got a dad back
Bill Clinton seems like the kind of guy who reacts to all his sex scandals with “still got it”
November 15, 2025 at 3:06 AM
Bill Clinton seems like the kind of guy who reacts to all his sex scandals with “still got it”
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Jesus? Jesus? Come on dude I can hear you giggling. Put your father on the phone right now!
November 14, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Jesus? Jesus? Come on dude I can hear you giggling. Put your father on the phone right now!
Reposted by I've got a dad back
Me: Do you know what this song is?
10yo daughter:
Me: It's from the 90s.
10yo daughter:
Me:
10yo daughter: That's all you ever say about songs in this car.
10yo daughter:
Me: It's from the 90s.
10yo daughter:
Me:
10yo daughter: That's all you ever say about songs in this car.
November 15, 2025 at 2:18 AM
Me: Do you know what this song is?
10yo daughter:
Me: It's from the 90s.
10yo daughter:
Me:
10yo daughter: That's all you ever say about songs in this car.
10yo daughter:
Me: It's from the 90s.
10yo daughter:
Me:
10yo daughter: That's all you ever say about songs in this car.
Reposted by I've got a dad back
missed opportunity to call Big Brother UK 'big bruvva'
November 14, 2025 at 4:51 PM
missed opportunity to call Big Brother UK 'big bruvva'
Reposted by I've got a dad back
Vandals ransacked 23andMe. Forensic investigators have identified several million possible suspects.
November 14, 2025 at 5:10 AM
Vandals ransacked 23andMe. Forensic investigators have identified several million possible suspects.
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Yawns are weird. You're tired? Why don't you open your mouth really big about it? What's that? You're not tired, but you saw someone else open their mouth big? Well, guess what.
November 14, 2025 at 5:29 AM
Yawns are weird. You're tired? Why don't you open your mouth really big about it? What's that? You're not tired, but you saw someone else open their mouth big? Well, guess what.
Don't get me wrong, it is a nostalgic favorite of mine, but Love Actually is fundamentally a story about a bunch of guys trying their best not to fuck women they should under no circumstances be fucking
November 13, 2025 at 12:47 PM
Don't get me wrong, it is a nostalgic favorite of mine, but Love Actually is fundamentally a story about a bunch of guys trying their best not to fuck women they should under no circumstances be fucking
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Boss: I need a second set of eyes on this report.
Arachnid employee: Got you covered all day, boss.
Arachnid employee: Got you covered all day, boss.
November 12, 2025 at 4:47 PM
Boss: I need a second set of eyes on this report.
Arachnid employee: Got you covered all day, boss.
Arachnid employee: Got you covered all day, boss.
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ER Doc: so what brings you in today?
Me: I thought she said she liked ships in a butthole…
Doc:
Me:
Me: I thought she said she liked ships in a butthole…
Doc:
Me:
November 12, 2025 at 11:42 PM
ER Doc: so what brings you in today?
Me: I thought she said she liked ships in a butthole…
Doc:
Me:
Me: I thought she said she liked ships in a butthole…
Doc:
Me:
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I try to limit my cheat meals to two a day.
November 8, 2025 at 5:03 AM
I try to limit my cheat meals to two a day.
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What's from Chicago, hates Illinois Nazis, and is holy as fuck?
It's the Pope in 1982.
It's the Pope in 1982.
November 13, 2025 at 1:37 AM
What's from Chicago, hates Illinois Nazis, and is holy as fuck?
It's the Pope in 1982.
It's the Pope in 1982.
Reposted by I've got a dad back
Pizzagate: If you replace the word “hot dog” with “little boy” and “pizza party” with “child sex orgy,” you will see the lengths these elites go to cover up their crimes.
Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.
Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.
November 12, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Pizzagate: If you replace the word “hot dog” with “little boy” and “pizza party” with “child sex orgy,” you will see the lengths these elites go to cover up their crimes.
Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.
Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.
Reposted by I've got a dad back
me at 17: I can't let anyone find out that I like Matchbox Twenty. that would be so embarrassing
me in my 30's:
me in my 30's:
November 11, 2025 at 4:39 AM
me at 17: I can't let anyone find out that I like Matchbox Twenty. that would be so embarrassing
me in my 30's:
me in my 30's:
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JEFFREY EPSTEIN: I can't speak freely in case anyone is listening but tonight we are going to "ee bay edophiles pay".
DONALD TRUMP: Is that Pig Latin?
JEFFREY EPSTEIN: Yes. For "be pedophiles".
DONALD TRUMP: (4x louder) I will see you at the pedophile party.
DONALD TRUMP: Is that Pig Latin?
JEFFREY EPSTEIN: Yes. For "be pedophiles".
DONALD TRUMP: (4x louder) I will see you at the pedophile party.
November 12, 2025 at 9:55 PM
JEFFREY EPSTEIN: I can't speak freely in case anyone is listening but tonight we are going to "ee bay edophiles pay".
DONALD TRUMP: Is that Pig Latin?
JEFFREY EPSTEIN: Yes. For "be pedophiles".
DONALD TRUMP: (4x louder) I will see you at the pedophile party.
DONALD TRUMP: Is that Pig Latin?
JEFFREY EPSTEIN: Yes. For "be pedophiles".
DONALD TRUMP: (4x louder) I will see you at the pedophile party.
Reposted by I've got a dad back
I genuinely believe this is a huge part of the LLM worship; half of these people are functionally illiterate
Putting aside all the horrible shit in them: I cannot believe the global elite composes emails like fucking horses who somehow learned to crudely type. My emails read like Shakespeare compared to the lowercased, unpunctuated screeds written to the worlds biggest pedophile. Fucking write like adults!
November 12, 2025 at 6:40 PM
I genuinely believe this is a huge part of the LLM worship; half of these people are functionally illiterate