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slate
@pleasebegneiss.bsky.social
· Nov 12
since bluesky doesn’t have a drafts folder i’m just going to write my drafts under this post. nobody look, these aren’t finished yet
you’re welcome for removing your dictator. you can use ours while we steal your oil. he will rename everything after himself because he can’t remember new words. if he starts making a ballroom just let him until he finishes, we have not tried telling him no. welcome to democracy
January 4, 2026 at 6:44 PM
you’re welcome for removing your dictator. you can use ours while we steal your oil. he will rename everything after himself because he can’t remember new words. if he starts making a ballroom just let him until he finishes, we have not tried telling him no. welcome to democracy
life would be so much easier if i never learned to read
January 4, 2026 at 4:49 AM
life would be so much easier if i never learned to read
Reposted by slate
when i ask my coworker who doesn’t follow politics how his weekend was
November 10, 2025 at 3:50 PM
when i ask my coworker who doesn’t follow politics how his weekend was
i’m going to need a full refund on my taxes this year
January 4, 2026 at 2:31 AM
i’m going to need a full refund on my taxes this year
they just spent 12 months deporting anyone who looks foreign and then kidnapped an entire south american country
January 3, 2026 at 8:16 PM
they just spent 12 months deporting anyone who looks foreign and then kidnapped an entire south american country
hey we don’t have affordable healthcare but at least we have whole other country to take care of now
January 3, 2026 at 8:14 PM
hey we don’t have affordable healthcare but at least we have whole other country to take care of now
mashing skip button
ok i’m tired of this year already. next
January 3, 2026 at 5:37 PM
mashing skip button
Reposted by slate
This all seems pretty unbecoming of a FIFA Peace Prize winner
January 3, 2026 at 2:42 PM
This all seems pretty unbecoming of a FIFA Peace Prize winner
ok i’m tired of this year already. next
January 3, 2026 at 5:00 AM
ok i’m tired of this year already. next
first guy to put up ornaments: i call it decorating
neighbor: what do you call it when you take them down?
guy: who would do that? the grinch?
neighbor: the what
neighbor: what do you call it when you take them down?
guy: who would do that? the grinch?
neighbor: the what
January 3, 2026 at 4:24 AM
first guy to put up ornaments: i call it decorating
neighbor: what do you call it when you take them down?
guy: who would do that? the grinch?
neighbor: the what
neighbor: what do you call it when you take them down?
guy: who would do that? the grinch?
neighbor: the what
i won’t be watching avatar: fire and ash. you’re the only avatars i need
January 3, 2026 at 2:11 AM
i won’t be watching avatar: fire and ash. you’re the only avatars i need
mamdani’s first day in office and new york already has fewer criminals
Some news — George Santos has fled NYC due to Zohran Mamdani.
January 2, 2026 at 11:48 PM
mamdani’s first day in office and new york already has fewer criminals
sauron: the ring says it’s sorry
January 2, 2026 at 11:15 PM
sauron: the ring says it’s sorry
already failed my new years resolution of not eating food too hot for my mouth
January 2, 2026 at 3:43 AM
already failed my new years resolution of not eating food too hot for my mouth
first sunset of the year nailed it
January 2, 2026 at 2:28 AM
first sunset of the year nailed it
wow the trump administration really uncovered a massive fraudulent daycare scam. just google “trump school fraud 25 million”
January 1, 2026 at 6:44 PM
wow the trump administration really uncovered a massive fraudulent daycare scam. just google “trump school fraud 25 million”
thank you mr president for assuring the world that you are not a weak old man, you just have delicate skin and bleed from casual contact
The piece doesn't directly address what's going on with Trump's black hand, but says he has delicate skin that causes him to bleed constantly
"Trump said he applies makeup to his hands after he gets 'whacked again by someone ... I have makeup that’s easy to put on, takes about 10 seconds.'" (3/6)
"Trump said he applies makeup to his hands after he gets 'whacked again by someone ... I have makeup that’s easy to put on, takes about 10 seconds.'" (3/6)
January 1, 2026 at 4:59 PM
thank you mr president for assuring the world that you are not a weak old man, you just have delicate skin and bleed from casual contact
brushing my teeth 730 times today to get it out of the way
January 1, 2026 at 4:39 PM
brushing my teeth 730 times today to get it out of the way
imagine the ball is dropping then it stops and goes back up and then my cat comes home
January 1, 2026 at 8:08 AM
imagine the ball is dropping then it stops and goes back up and then my cat comes home
kissing someone at midnight is tired. who wants to wack me with a mallet
January 1, 2026 at 7:39 AM
kissing someone at midnight is tired. who wants to wack me with a mallet
the bright side is we are one year closer to The Day
January 1, 2026 at 2:48 AM
the bright side is we are one year closer to The Day
strong villainous “you’ve not seen the last of me” vibes
Trump announces he’s pulling the National Guard from Portland, LA, and Chicago but threatens that “We will come back, perhaps in a much different and stronger form, when crime begins to soar again - Only a question of time!”
January 1, 2026 at 12:41 AM
strong villainous “you’ve not seen the last of me” vibes
Reposted by slate
your top 5 home cooked breakfasts of 2025, wrapped
5. june 11- two hard boiled eggs, salt and pepper, eaten over the sink
4. september 3- two hard boiled eggs, salt and pepper, eaten over the sink
3. february 23- two hard boiled eggs, salt and pepper, eaten over the sink
2. november 14- two h
5. june 11- two hard boiled eggs, salt and pepper, eaten over the sink
4. september 3- two hard boiled eggs, salt and pepper, eaten over the sink
3. february 23- two hard boiled eggs, salt and pepper, eaten over the sink
2. november 14- two h
January 1, 2026 at 12:21 AM
your top 5 home cooked breakfasts of 2025, wrapped
5. june 11- two hard boiled eggs, salt and pepper, eaten over the sink
4. september 3- two hard boiled eggs, salt and pepper, eaten over the sink
3. february 23- two hard boiled eggs, salt and pepper, eaten over the sink
2. november 14- two h
5. june 11- two hard boiled eggs, salt and pepper, eaten over the sink
4. september 3- two hard boiled eggs, salt and pepper, eaten over the sink
3. february 23- two hard boiled eggs, salt and pepper, eaten over the sink
2. november 14- two h
idk if i have another year in me
December 31, 2025 at 7:19 PM
idk if i have another year in me