Pinned
slate
@pleasebegneiss.bsky.social
· Nov 12
since bluesky doesn’t have a drafts folder i’m just going to write my drafts under this post. nobody look, these aren’t finished yet
no no when we said “good guy with a gun” we didn’t mean a guy with a moral compass. we meant a short guy with a badge and a temper
January 28, 2026 at 10:58 PM
no no when we said “good guy with a gun” we didn’t mean a guy with a moral compass. we meant a short guy with a badge and a temper
Reposted by slate
I saw this guy the first time I took mushrooms in Amsterdam. He was standing menacingly behind me at the kebab counter and changing the words on the menu with his mind
January 28, 2026 at 1:35 AM
I saw this guy the first time I took mushrooms in Amsterdam. He was standing menacingly behind me at the kebab counter and changing the words on the menu with his mind
i fear i’m enjoying the new game of thrones show
January 28, 2026 at 2:04 AM
i fear i’m enjoying the new game of thrones show
i never know what Ted Cruz is up to because every headline is completely overshadowed by how jarring his face is
January 27, 2026 at 4:29 AM
i never know what Ted Cruz is up to because every headline is completely overshadowed by how jarring his face is
Reposted by slate
Border Patrol chief Greg Bovino discovered to have been one child in a trenchcoat
January 27, 2026 at 3:32 AM
Border Patrol chief Greg Bovino discovered to have been one child in a trenchcoat
i cannot emphasize enough how important it is that nobody assassinated him right now. every day we get closer to a gift so pure it can only be delivered by god
January 27, 2026 at 2:48 AM
i cannot emphasize enough how important it is that nobody assassinated him right now. every day we get closer to a gift so pure it can only be delivered by god
“let stand 1 minute before eating” i will wait 15 seconds max before scorching my mouth beyond repair because that is the freedom soldiers died for
January 27, 2026 at 1:53 AM
“let stand 1 minute before eating” i will wait 15 seconds max before scorching my mouth beyond repair because that is the freedom soldiers died for
reach out to your neighborhood ICE agents and tell them they suck
Morale plummeting among ICE agents over long hours, quotas and public hatred: reports
Morale plummeting among ICE agents over long hours, quotas and public hatred: reports
Morale plummeting among ICE agents over long hours, quotas and public hatred: reports
www.independent.co.uk
January 27, 2026 at 1:14 AM
reach out to your neighborhood ICE agents and tell them they suck
just got off the phone with the irs they said file whatever you want this year nobody’s checking
January 26, 2026 at 4:33 AM
just got off the phone with the irs they said file whatever you want this year nobody’s checking
Reposted by slate
Stop complaining. If you don't like this country, leave. Got a broken tail light? Abandon your car by the side of the road. Toilet not flushing? Move out of your house. Never try to solve any problem, just give up
January 26, 2026 at 2:39 AM
Stop complaining. If you don't like this country, leave. Got a broken tail light? Abandon your car by the side of the road. Toilet not flushing? Move out of your house. Never try to solve any problem, just give up
i’m studying the impact of beers on the porch
January 26, 2026 at 3:14 AM
i’m studying the impact of beers on the porch
that’s what you get for brandishing a finger
Noem presser: Noem says that an officer had his finger bitten off. Implied, but did not say, this was in relation to this morning's shooting.
January 26, 2026 at 2:15 AM
that’s what you get for brandishing a finger
we need an ICE to deport ICE
January 25, 2026 at 8:03 PM
we need an ICE to deport ICE
i’ll get right on that
ICE out of Minnesota NOW.
Breaking News: Federal law enforcement agents shot and killed a person in Minneapolis on Saturday morning, state and local officials said. Follow live updates.
January 25, 2026 at 5:43 AM
i’ll get right on that
Reposted by slate
If you don't think you can run a campaign on "Abolish ICE," you shouldn't be running for any office.
nearly 20% of republicans in support of abolishing ICE should be a major alarm for this administration
YouGov is out with a new poll after ICE killed another person in Minnesota today. Abolishing ICE is now +5 among all adults, and **+12 among independents**
substack.com/@gelliottmor...
substack.com/@gelliottmor...
January 25, 2026 at 5:19 AM
If you don't think you can run a campaign on "Abolish ICE," you shouldn't be running for any office.
nearly 20% of republicans in support of abolishing ICE should be a major alarm for this administration
YouGov is out with a new poll after ICE killed another person in Minnesota today. Abolishing ICE is now +5 among all adults, and **+12 among independents**
substack.com/@gelliottmor...
substack.com/@gelliottmor...
January 25, 2026 at 4:59 AM
nearly 20% of republicans in support of abolishing ICE should be a major alarm for this administration
“went off to the desert to make myself feel small”
January 25, 2026 at 4:48 AM
“went off to the desert to make myself feel small”
Reposted by slate
just had to chase a grinch off my lawn in fucking january. it was picking pinecones off my tree to eat. that's not a christmas decoration, dumbass. you're eating a normal january tree
January 22, 2026 at 10:32 PM
just had to chase a grinch off my lawn in fucking january. it was picking pinecones off my tree to eat. that's not a christmas decoration, dumbass. you're eating a normal january tree
Reposted by slate
What if he emerged fine and we were all like awwwwww then he tripped and fell down every stair and that's how it happened
January 21, 2026 at 5:11 AM
What if he emerged fine and we were all like awwwwww then he tripped and fell down every stair and that's how it happened
when it happens can we have a break from presidents? we as a nation just need to sit down for a bit
January 21, 2026 at 5:35 AM
when it happens can we have a break from presidents? we as a nation just need to sit down for a bit
i play a game at dinner where i toss one uncooked fusillo into the pasta. when we hear a crunch we’ve got a winner
January 21, 2026 at 1:49 AM
i play a game at dinner where i toss one uncooked fusillo into the pasta. when we hear a crunch we’ve got a winner
playing a game called PHONE. it’s like HORSE but we take turns throwing our phones into a hoop
January 20, 2026 at 4:30 AM
playing a game called PHONE. it’s like HORSE but we take turns throwing our phones into a hoop
imagine being the parrot realizing you didn’t get invited to the mating bonanza through a wapo article
Kākāpōs are no ordinary green birds. Not only are they astonishingly rare, but they also hold the title of the world’s heftiest parrot.
Now, fewer than 300 of them exist. That’s why conservationists are relieved that the flightless bird is breeding again. https://wapo.st/45LvsK3
Now, fewer than 300 of them exist. That’s why conservationists are relieved that the flightless bird is breeding again. https://wapo.st/45LvsK3
January 20, 2026 at 2:48 AM
imagine being the parrot realizing you didn’t get invited to the mating bonanza through a wapo article
i don’t know anyone who’s visited the las vegas sphere and lived to tell about it. should we really be building another one?
The state of Maryland announces plans to build a new Sphere venue in National Harbor, near Washington, DC investor.sphereentertainmentco.com/press-releas...
January 19, 2026 at 5:29 AM
i don’t know anyone who’s visited the las vegas sphere and lived to tell about it. should we really be building another one?