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pleasebegneiss.bsky.social
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since bluesky doesn’t have a drafts folder i’m just going to write my drafts under this post. nobody look, these aren’t finished yet
i picked a hell of a month to do dry january
January 5, 2026 at 8:42 PM
when i finally remember my password but it’s expired
January 5, 2026 at 5:27 AM
a ken burns documentary wouldn’t have the stamina to portray how vain this man is
WH sources say Venezuela's opposition leader committed the "ultimate sin": She accepted the Nobel Peace prize.

“If she had turned it down and said, ‘I can’t accept it because it’s Donald Trump’s,’ she’d be the president of Venezuela today,” one said.

www.washingtonpost.com/national-sec...
January 5, 2026 at 5:00 AM
my tolerance for any responsibility is completely depleted. i do think a 5-day workweek might end me
January 5, 2026 at 4:36 AM
does anyone remember my work password
January 5, 2026 at 4:34 AM
we probably should’ve scrapped our entire political system when a significant portion of the voting population decided, against overwhelming medical advice, that a vaccine was more dangerous to them than horse dewormer
January 5, 2026 at 4:06 AM
2026 in one ad
January 5, 2026 at 12:45 AM
you’re welcome for removing your dictator. you can use ours while we steal your oil. he will rename everything after himself because he can’t remember new words. if he starts making a ballroom just let him until he finishes, we have not tried telling him no. welcome to democracy
January 4, 2026 at 6:44 PM
life would be so much easier if i never learned to read
January 4, 2026 at 4:49 AM
Reposted by slate
when i ask my coworker who doesn’t follow politics how his weekend was
November 10, 2025 at 3:50 PM
i’m going to need a full refund on my taxes this year
January 4, 2026 at 2:31 AM
they just spent 12 months deporting anyone who looks foreign and then kidnapped an entire south american country
January 3, 2026 at 8:16 PM
hey we don’t have affordable healthcare but at least we have whole other country to take care of now
January 3, 2026 at 8:14 PM
mashing skip button
ok i’m tired of this year already. next
January 3, 2026 at 5:37 PM
ok i’m tired of this year already. next
January 3, 2026 at 5:00 AM
first guy to put up ornaments: i call it decorating

neighbor: what do you call it when you take them down?

guy: who would do that? the grinch?

neighbor: the what
January 3, 2026 at 4:24 AM
i won’t be watching avatar: fire and ash. you’re the only avatars i need
January 3, 2026 at 2:11 AM
mamdani’s first day in office and new york already has fewer criminals
Some news — George Santos has fled NYC due to Zohran Mamdani.
January 2, 2026 at 11:48 PM
sauron: the ring says it’s sorry
January 2, 2026 at 11:15 PM
already failed my new years resolution of not eating food too hot for my mouth
January 2, 2026 at 3:43 AM
first sunset of the year nailed it
January 2, 2026 at 2:28 AM
wow the trump administration really uncovered a massive fraudulent daycare scam. just google “trump school fraud 25 million”
January 1, 2026 at 6:44 PM
thank you mr president for assuring the world that you are not a weak old man, you just have delicate skin and bleed from casual contact
The piece doesn't directly address what's going on with Trump's black hand, but says he has delicate skin that causes him to bleed constantly

"Trump said he applies makeup to his hands after he gets 'whacked again by someone ... I have makeup that’s easy to put on, takes about 10 seconds.'" (3/6)
January 1, 2026 at 4:59 PM
brushing my teeth 730 times today to get it out of the way
January 1, 2026 at 4:39 PM