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I’d share my silly goose juice with you.
February 14, 2026 at 4:04 AM
I’d share my silly goose juice with you.
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Reposted by Fulkery
I’d absolutely choose to be Medusa, minus the whole beheading situation.
February 15, 2026 at 2:41 AM
I’d absolutely choose to be Medusa, minus the whole beheading situation.
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I love you (buy me chocolate).
February 15, 2026 at 2:49 AM
I love you (buy me chocolate).
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Roses are red
Toss my salad
Toss my salad
February 15, 2026 at 4:12 AM
Roses are red
Toss my salad
Toss my salad
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Officially under contract on my condo and the buyer is asking if he can pay extra for me to leave it fully furnished. This is, truly, a dream come true.
February 10, 2026 at 3:38 AM
Officially under contract on my condo and the buyer is asking if he can pay extra for me to leave it fully furnished. This is, truly, a dream come true.
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This day in history. 1478. George, Duke of Clarence was executed for treason on orders of his brother King Edward IV, drowned, they say, in a butt of malmsey wine. It seems wasteful but his other brother tried to trade his kingdom for a horse. Anyway, what a crew.
February 18, 2026 at 9:32 AM
This day in history. 1478. George, Duke of Clarence was executed for treason on orders of his brother King Edward IV, drowned, they say, in a butt of malmsey wine. It seems wasteful but his other brother tried to trade his kingdom for a horse. Anyway, what a crew.
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This day in history. 1932. With the help of WWI flying ace Wop May the Royal Canadian Mounted Police tracked down and killed the Mad Trapper of Rat River. In his pockets were 2,000 dollars, fishhooks, nails, a dead bird, a dead squirrel, and Beecham's Pills now available in the large economy size.
February 17, 2026 at 9:32 AM
This day in history. 1932. With the help of WWI flying ace Wop May the Royal Canadian Mounted Police tracked down and killed the Mad Trapper of Rat River. In his pockets were 2,000 dollars, fishhooks, nails, a dead bird, a dead squirrel, and Beecham's Pills now available in the large economy size.
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This day in history. 1972. On the Mike Douglas Show John Lennon and Chuck Berry performed the song Memphis Tennessee while in the background Yoko Ono did impressions of screaming goats.
February 16, 2026 at 10:31 AM
This day in history. 1972. On the Mike Douglas Show John Lennon and Chuck Berry performed the song Memphis Tennessee while in the background Yoko Ono did impressions of screaming goats.
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This day in history. 2002. A second gold medal was awarded for Olympic pairs figure skating, to the Canadians. A Russian/French vote trading scheme had resulted in a gold medal for the clumsy Russian pair. The rules were changed afterwards in an unsuccessful attempt to Putin-proof the judging.
February 15, 2026 at 10:25 AM
This day in history. 2002. A second gold medal was awarded for Olympic pairs figure skating, to the Canadians. A Russian/French vote trading scheme had resulted in a gold medal for the clumsy Russian pair. The rules were changed afterwards in an unsuccessful attempt to Putin-proof the judging.
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This day in history. 1803. Any act of the United States congress that conflicts with the United States constitution is void, declared Chief Justice John "Captain Obvious" Marshall.
February 14, 2026 at 10:27 AM
This day in history. 1803. Any act of the United States congress that conflicts with the United States constitution is void, declared Chief Justice John "Captain Obvious" Marshall.
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This day in history. 1692. The Massacre of Glencoe. Dozens of members of the clan MacDonald of Glencoe were killed by government troops when rather than pledge allegiance to King William III the MacDonalds just made Scottish noises at the back of their throats.
February 13, 2026 at 10:18 AM
This day in history. 1692. The Massacre of Glencoe. Dozens of members of the clan MacDonald of Glencoe were killed by government troops when rather than pledge allegiance to King William III the MacDonalds just made Scottish noises at the back of their throats.
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This day in history. 1450. Feast day of saint Julian the Hospitaller who murdered his parents in their sleep but it's fine with the church because he thought they were his wife and some dude.
February 12, 2026 at 9:22 AM
This day in history. 1450. Feast day of saint Julian the Hospitaller who murdered his parents in their sleep but it's fine with the church because he thought they were his wife and some dude.
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This day in history. 1964. The Australian aircraft carrier HMAS Melbourne collided with and sank Australian destroyer HMAS Voyager. After two Royal Commissions were held to investigate the incident the Melbourne collided with and sank American destroyer USS Frank E. Evans. Progress.
February 11, 2026 at 10:27 AM
This day in history. 1964. The Australian aircraft carrier HMAS Melbourne collided with and sank Australian destroyer HMAS Voyager. After two Royal Commissions were held to investigate the incident the Melbourne collided with and sank American destroyer USS Frank E. Evans. Progress.
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This day in history. 60. The apostle Paul was shipwrecked off the coast of Malta and was bitten by a viper and the viper died not he so the islanders thought he was a god and became Christians but when a budgie bit me and died the Church of Jim lost congregants which hardly seems fair really.
February 10, 2026 at 9:25 AM
This day in history. 60. The apostle Paul was shipwrecked off the coast of Malta and was bitten by a viper and the viper died not he so the islanders thought he was a god and became Christians but when a budgie bit me and died the Church of Jim lost congregants which hardly seems fair really.
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This day in history. 1913. The 1913 Great Meteor Procession across Canada and the eastern USA originated from a small, short-lived moon but if you take anything away from this post make sure it's that short-lived rhymes with arrived.
February 9, 2026 at 10:39 AM
This day in history. 1913. The 1913 Great Meteor Procession across Canada and the eastern USA originated from a small, short-lived moon but if you take anything away from this post make sure it's that short-lived rhymes with arrived.
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This day in history. 1594. Scottish mathematician Laird John Napier dedicated his work "Plaine Discovery of the Whole Revelation of St John" to king James VI and predicted that the end of the world would come "in 1688 or 1700 but put a safety bet on 2026 just in case."
February 8, 2026 at 9:25 AM
This day in history. 1594. Scottish mathematician Laird John Napier dedicated his work "Plaine Discovery of the Whole Revelation of St John" to king James VI and predicted that the end of the world would come "in 1688 or 1700 but put a safety bet on 2026 just in case."
Reposted by Fulkery
women can have a little revenge as a treat
February 8, 2026 at 12:53 AM
women can have a little revenge as a treat
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getting a pair of those curling shoes to make grocery shopping more efficient
February 8, 2026 at 4:23 PM
getting a pair of those curling shoes to make grocery shopping more efficient
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i should be called the quad goddess bc i can eat four eclairs in one sitting
February 9, 2026 at 2:27 PM
i should be called the quad goddess bc i can eat four eclairs in one sitting
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i heard the pope still has the same # as when he was a cardinal so i texted him ( . )( . ) and now i’m blocked
February 9, 2026 at 3:42 PM
i heard the pope still has the same # as when he was a cardinal so i texted him ( . )( . ) and now i’m blocked
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any relationship i may have is a throuple bc first and foremost i belong to god
February 9, 2026 at 7:36 PM
any relationship i may have is a throuple bc first and foremost i belong to god
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my favorite thing about the olympics are the medicine ads explaining to me how they’re going to kill me
February 9, 2026 at 8:01 PM
my favorite thing about the olympics are the medicine ads explaining to me how they’re going to kill me
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i too am considering suing bad bunny bc ever since that halftime show i can’t stop thinking about sitting on his face
February 10, 2026 at 1:30 PM
i too am considering suing bad bunny bc ever since that halftime show i can’t stop thinking about sitting on his face
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using the drafts to keep a list of my grievances
February 10, 2026 at 3:09 PM
using the drafts to keep a list of my grievances