Reposted by Fulkery
ME: What’s that other bread you eat sometimes Sharon?
WIFE: Spelt?
ME: B R E A D
HER: Get out!
WIFE: Spelt?
ME: B R E A D
HER: Get out!
February 8, 2026 at 8:08 PM
ME: What’s that other bread you eat sometimes Sharon?
WIFE: Spelt?
ME: B R E A D
HER: Get out!
WIFE: Spelt?
ME: B R E A D
HER: Get out!
Reposted by Fulkery
Kid Rock makes music for people who shoot at hurricanes
February 9, 2026 at 12:44 AM
Kid Rock makes music for people who shoot at hurricanes
Reposted by Fulkery
In France a Peeping Tom is called a Jean Luc Peek Hard
February 11, 2026 at 3:27 PM
In France a Peeping Tom is called a Jean Luc Peek Hard
Reposted by Fulkery
ZZ Top in the streets, ZZZZ Top in the sheets.
February 12, 2026 at 10:10 PM
ZZ Top in the streets, ZZZZ Top in the sheets.
Reposted by Fulkery
WIFE: So what did you do today?
ME: I wrote a movie where Cupid was a Stormtrooper. Calling it Love Inaccurately.
HER: Sometimes it's ok to say 'nothing'.
ME: I wrote a movie where Cupid was a Stormtrooper. Calling it Love Inaccurately.
HER: Sometimes it's ok to say 'nothing'.
February 13, 2026 at 7:15 PM
WIFE: So what did you do today?
ME: I wrote a movie where Cupid was a Stormtrooper. Calling it Love Inaccurately.
HER: Sometimes it's ok to say 'nothing'.
ME: I wrote a movie where Cupid was a Stormtrooper. Calling it Love Inaccurately.
HER: Sometimes it's ok to say 'nothing'.
Reposted by Fulkery
Happy Valentine's babe, I hope you like the nunchuck video I made for you.
February 14, 2026 at 3:56 PM
Happy Valentine's babe, I hope you like the nunchuck video I made for you.
Reposted by Fulkery
Another weekend passes where the rhythm did not get me
February 16, 2026 at 12:46 PM
Another weekend passes where the rhythm did not get me
Reposted by Fulkery
FRIEND: Oh btw I won two tickets to that French 24 hour car race.
ME: You could say that life gave you Le Mans lol
HIM: Get out!
ME: You could say that life gave you Le Mans lol
HIM: Get out!
February 16, 2026 at 5:42 PM
FRIEND: Oh btw I won two tickets to that French 24 hour car race.
ME: You could say that life gave you Le Mans lol
HIM: Get out!
ME: You could say that life gave you Le Mans lol
HIM: Get out!
Reposted by Fulkery
Got kicked out of the gym today for setting off the smoke alarm while running in my corduroy shorts
February 17, 2026 at 9:53 PM
Got kicked out of the gym today for setting off the smoke alarm while running in my corduroy shorts
Reposted by Fulkery
ME: *flawlessly performs Kate Bush's iconic dance from her Wuthering Heights video
COP: Ok so now we'll do MY field sobriety test
COP: Ok so now we'll do MY field sobriety test
February 18, 2026 at 12:16 PM
ME: *flawlessly performs Kate Bush's iconic dance from her Wuthering Heights video
COP: Ok so now we'll do MY field sobriety test
COP: Ok so now we'll do MY field sobriety test
Reposted by Fulkery
A Placebo cover band also called Placebo
February 20, 2026 at 9:05 AM
A Placebo cover band also called Placebo
“Well you’d have more money if you made your food instead of paying DoorDash.”
Meanwhile, capitalism: “If DoorDash costs that much then certainly we can charge some more for groceries.”
Meanwhile, capitalism: “If DoorDash costs that much then certainly we can charge some more for groceries.”
February 20, 2026 at 1:49 PM
“Well you’d have more money if you made your food instead of paying DoorDash.”
Meanwhile, capitalism: “If DoorDash costs that much then certainly we can charge some more for groceries.”
Meanwhile, capitalism: “If DoorDash costs that much then certainly we can charge some more for groceries.”
According to YouTube ads, Nate Morris is both THE pro-Trump conservative candidate and also woke left.
Voting for myself, fuck this American post Citizen United psy-op.
Voting for myself, fuck this American post Citizen United psy-op.
February 20, 2026 at 12:46 AM
According to YouTube ads, Nate Morris is both THE pro-Trump conservative candidate and also woke left.
Voting for myself, fuck this American post Citizen United psy-op.
Voting for myself, fuck this American post Citizen United psy-op.
Reposted by Fulkery
rooting for team canada to win the superbowl
February 8, 2026 at 3:56 PM
rooting for team canada to win the superbowl
Reposted by Fulkery
she didn't fall that was a triple buttz few skaters can perform that move
February 8, 2026 at 8:24 PM
she didn't fall that was a triple buttz few skaters can perform that move
Reposted by Fulkery
nobody calls their friend and says whasssuuuuuupppppppp anymore, sad
February 9, 2026 at 2:52 PM
nobody calls their friend and says whasssuuuuuupppppppp anymore, sad
Reposted by Fulkery
making love to my tonic and gin pegging my stormy and dark eating my coke and rum's ass
February 9, 2026 at 3:29 PM
making love to my tonic and gin pegging my stormy and dark eating my coke and rum's ass
Reposted by Fulkery
it's hard to let your haters be your motivators when you're so universally beloved
February 9, 2026 at 4:18 PM
it's hard to let your haters be your motivators when you're so universally beloved
Reposted by Fulkery
what the hell is going on? tonight, we break it down for white people.
February 9, 2026 at 6:34 PM
what the hell is going on? tonight, we break it down for white people.
Reposted by Fulkery
felt cute might start a flame war with a children's puppet later
February 9, 2026 at 11:02 PM
felt cute might start a flame war with a children's puppet later
Reposted by Fulkery
the best time for someone to just fucking do it already was 50 years ago. the second best time is now.
February 10, 2026 at 12:25 AM
the best time for someone to just fucking do it already was 50 years ago. the second best time is now.
Reposted by Fulkery
lying in bed clapping to make the lights turn off (i do not have a clapper)
February 10, 2026 at 5:33 AM
lying in bed clapping to make the lights turn off (i do not have a clapper)
Reposted by Fulkery
my fav part of selling on marketplace is right after a sale when everyone who ghosted you finally replies "it's sold??" like yeah brother that's how this works
February 10, 2026 at 4:44 PM
my fav part of selling on marketplace is right after a sale when everyone who ghosted you finally replies "it's sold??" like yeah brother that's how this works
Reposted by Fulkery
1 bed, 1 bath, and several other rooms they might find your body in
![marketplace listing
[picture of concrete stairs leading down to a concrete wall]
$1,700 • 1 Bed 1 Bath...](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:2hwwem55ce6djnk6bn62cstr/bafkreiauhqfkbfycfdhyw4vvszwq6vrum22rbpgjzgqu3y7pnbga5errqe@jpeg)
February 10, 2026 at 11:29 PM
1 bed, 1 bath, and several other rooms they might find your body in
Reposted by Fulkery
the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: "you say you want a leader who won't commit violence against any marginalized group at all? you bot. you russian troll."
February 11, 2026 at 5:12 PM
the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: "you say you want a leader who won't commit violence against any marginalized group at all? you bot. you russian troll."