[Sic] Burns
@sicburns2.bsky.social
Either dead Scottish poet or bored American Midwesterner, U-pick.
Do these skeets make my brain look fat?
Do these skeets make my brain look fat?
Pinned
[Sic] Burns
@sicburns2.bsky.social
· Feb 19
I’m typing stuff in here but nothing’s changing out there.
I better pick up the pace
I better pick up the pace
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
Making an impression on sand, it's not as just sitting in the sun with your resume as it seems. Your qualifications may actually become finer than sand if you're weather experienced so be sure to talk down silt
January 4, 2026 at 5:46 AM
Making an impression on sand, it's not as just sitting in the sun with your resume as it seems. Your qualifications may actually become finer than sand if you're weather experienced so be sure to talk down silt
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
Looks like my resolution to stop being batshit crazy was a non-starter.
January 4, 2026 at 7:22 AM
Looks like my resolution to stop being batshit crazy was a non-starter.
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
AI video is going to destroy the Americas Funniest Home Videos industry
January 4, 2026 at 4:02 AM
AI video is going to destroy the Americas Funniest Home Videos industry
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
The gap in my resume is when your mom and me had a thing
The gap in my resume is when I had to carry your sorry ass
The gap in my resume is sealed by the courts.
January 4, 2026 at 3:38 AM
The gap in my resume is when your mom and me had a thing
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
My 2025 crush is so last year...
January 4, 2026 at 2:23 AM
My 2025 crush is so last year...
The gap in my resume is when I had to carry your sorry ass
The gap in my resume is sealed by the courts.
The gap in my resume got tre-flipped by Daewon Song
January 4, 2026 at 3:37 AM
The gap in my resume is when I had to carry your sorry ass
Cause of death: improper dishwasher loading
Cause of death: said “you too” when the waiter said “enjoy your meal.”
Cause of death: missed an item on the grocery list
January 4, 2026 at 3:32 AM
Cause of death: improper dishwasher loading
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
New year new me, so please listen carefully as our menu options have changed.
January 4, 2026 at 1:00 AM
New year new me, so please listen carefully as our menu options have changed.
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
And here I stand both to impeach and purge
January 3, 2026 at 8:11 PM
And here I stand both to impeach and purge
Now you’ve done it GOP Schumer just looked up over his reading glasses
January 3, 2026 at 8:15 PM
Now you’ve done it GOP Schumer just looked up over his reading glasses
Introduce yourself with what almost killed you.
Hi there, I’m an unlocked gun cabinet in my best friend’s basement rec room
Hi there, I’m an unlocked gun cabinet in my best friend’s basement rec room
Introduce yourself with what almost killed you.
Oh hey, I’m a riptide
Oh hey, I’m a riptide
Introduce yourself with what almost killed you.
Hi, I'm a tonsillectomy.
Hi, I'm a tonsillectomy.
January 3, 2026 at 7:13 PM
Introduce yourself with what almost killed you.
Hi there, I’m an unlocked gun cabinet in my best friend’s basement rec room
Hi there, I’m an unlocked gun cabinet in my best friend’s basement rec room
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
Sorry I didn’t like your skeet. It’s nothing personal, it was just really bad.
January 3, 2026 at 5:51 PM
Sorry I didn’t like your skeet. It’s nothing personal, it was just really bad.
…on the raid that captured Maduro: "I mean, I watched it literally l like I was watching a television show. If you would've seen the speed, the violence -- it was an amazing thing."
Nice work everyone we elected Mike Teevee
Nice work everyone we elected Mike Teevee
January 3, 2026 at 7:01 PM
…on the raid that captured Maduro: "I mean, I watched it literally l like I was watching a television show. If you would've seen the speed, the violence -- it was an amazing thing."
Nice work everyone we elected Mike Teevee
Nice work everyone we elected Mike Teevee
The world is burning down but what’s really pissing me off is this high school ass looking broadcast of the Arsenal match
January 3, 2026 at 6:53 PM
The world is burning down but what’s really pissing me off is this high school ass looking broadcast of the Arsenal match
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
Is the Senate possess’d of this?
January 3, 2026 at 5:30 PM
Is the Senate possess’d of this?
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
seemed to have misplaced my je ne sais quoi this morning
January 3, 2026 at 2:59 PM
seemed to have misplaced my je ne sais quoi this morning
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
My kid said we should leave the tree up all year because all that goes in that spot when it isn’t there is Amazon boxes and you know what, fuck you
January 3, 2026 at 3:03 PM
My kid said we should leave the tree up all year because all that goes in that spot when it isn’t there is Amazon boxes and you know what, fuck you
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
Once I get some better knick-knacks it's over for you kitsches.
Once I get better at navigating mass pop culture it’s over for you niches
Once I learn how to code properly, it’s over for you glitches.
January 3, 2026 at 1:40 PM
Once I get some better knick-knacks it's over for you kitsches.
My shitposter promise to you: Because I am no expert on international conflicts or Venezuela in general* my posts about the invasion will be for silly comedic purposes only
*wikipedia doesn’t count as expertise
*wikipedia doesn’t count as expertise
January 3, 2026 at 3:18 PM
My shitposter promise to you: Because I am no expert on international conflicts or Venezuela in general* my posts about the invasion will be for silly comedic purposes only
*wikipedia doesn’t count as expertise
*wikipedia doesn’t count as expertise
Picked the wrong month for Dry January
January 3, 2026 at 2:59 PM
Picked the wrong month for Dry January
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
Not enough has been written about Schrödinger’s assistant, Otto.
January 3, 2026 at 2:20 PM
Not enough has been written about Schrödinger’s assistant, Otto.
Lantern-jawed see-thru shirt man will explain all this once he’s rounded up a focus group at the nearest Waffle House
January 3, 2026 at 12:11 PM
Lantern-jawed see-thru shirt man will explain all this once he’s rounded up a focus group at the nearest Waffle House
Who up wagging they dog
January 3, 2026 at 11:37 AM
Who up wagging they dog
It’s fine guys he has identified a giraffe three times let him cook
January 3, 2026 at 11:20 AM
It’s fine guys he has identified a giraffe three times let him cook