[Sic] Burns
@sicburns2.bsky.social
Either drunken Scottish poet or bored American Midwesterner, U-pick.
Do these skeets make my brain look fat?
Do these skeets make my brain look fat?
Pinned
[Sic] Burns
@sicburns2.bsky.social
· Feb 19
I’m typing stuff in here but nothing’s changing out there.
I better pick up the pace
I better pick up the pace
NYC gonna be under Shaboozey law cuz errbody on this subway gettin tipsy oh my good lord
November 11, 2025 at 9:47 AM
NYC gonna be under Shaboozey law cuz errbody on this subway gettin tipsy oh my good lord
Reverse call girl so she doesn’t see how I only hired her to get someone to laugh at my Richard Gere impression
November 11, 2025 at 9:31 AM
Reverse call girl so she doesn’t see how I only hired her to get someone to laugh at my Richard Gere impression
Techbro billionaires don’t want to buy the Pope they want to BE the pope, the OG of we run all this shit
November 11, 2025 at 9:18 AM
Techbro billionaires don’t want to buy the Pope they want to BE the pope, the OG of we run all this shit
This breakout session could’ve been a make-out session
November 11, 2025 at 8:53 AM
This breakout session could’ve been a make-out session
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
One cup of cocoa..please with whip cream. More whip cream, just gimme ..
November 11, 2025 at 3:08 AM
One cup of cocoa..please with whip cream. More whip cream, just gimme ..
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
I crave endless attention and total isolation at the same time.
November 11, 2025 at 3:13 AM
I crave endless attention and total isolation at the same time.
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
My pinkie finger is asleep. Guess I won't be having tea tonight.
November 9, 2025 at 5:42 AM
My pinkie finger is asleep. Guess I won't be having tea tonight.
Say what you will about negotiating our own healthcare but I’ve got a guy who’ll do my colonoscopy for only 5k if I don’t go with the full anesthesia package
November 11, 2025 at 2:35 AM
Say what you will about negotiating our own healthcare but I’ve got a guy who’ll do my colonoscopy for only 5k if I don’t go with the full anesthesia package
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
luke skywalker always inserts the usb stick into R2-D2 the wrong way around. this is what happens when you don't use the force.
November 11, 2025 at 12:59 AM
luke skywalker always inserts the usb stick into R2-D2 the wrong way around. this is what happens when you don't use the force.
Check out what the sentient phone battery is telling us I don’t make the rules honey
November 10, 2025 at 10:54 PM
Check out what the sentient phone battery is telling us I don’t make the rules honey
You’ve been hit by 👏👏
You’ve been struck by 👏
A cool townhouse row
You’ve been struck by 👏
A cool townhouse row
November 10, 2025 at 10:50 PM
You’ve been hit by 👏👏
You’ve been struck by 👏
A cool townhouse row
You’ve been struck by 👏
A cool townhouse row
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
Clowning around with my OSHA approved safety clown shoes on
November 10, 2025 at 10:11 PM
Clowning around with my OSHA approved safety clown shoes on
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
Never forget:
Cries rhymes with fries.
Cries rhymes with fries.
November 10, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Never forget:
Cries rhymes with fries.
Cries rhymes with fries.
Normally I’d say I don’t want to be part of any club that would have me as a member but I’ll make an easy exception for inclusion in @ennuidoofen.bsky.social ‘s collection of the shittiest posters in the world (flirting)
🥰
🥰
November 10, 2025 at 9:02 PM
Normally I’d say I don’t want to be part of any club that would have me as a member but I’ll make an easy exception for inclusion in @ennuidoofen.bsky.social ‘s collection of the shittiest posters in the world (flirting)
🥰
🥰
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
“It’s a dog door, a DOG door. Now, one more time, what are you?”
[sigh] “I’m a horse.”
“That’s right Jim, you’re a horse.”
[sigh] “I’m a horse.”
“That’s right Jim, you’re a horse.”
November 10, 2025 at 5:15 PM
“It’s a dog door, a DOG door. Now, one more time, what are you?”
[sigh] “I’m a horse.”
“That’s right Jim, you’re a horse.”
[sigh] “I’m a horse.”
“That’s right Jim, you’re a horse.”
Welcome new followers! My assistant director will pair you up and hand out the audition scripts — you’ll be reading the Fast Times scene where Damone gives Ratner dating advice. No accents please.
November 10, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Welcome new followers! My assistant director will pair you up and hand out the audition scripts — you’ll be reading the Fast Times scene where Damone gives Ratner dating advice. No accents please.
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
Putting "in loving memory of times gone by" on all rear windows that face vintage racecar crash stock footage
November 10, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Putting "in loving memory of times gone by" on all rear windows that face vintage racecar crash stock footage
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
*getting hit in the face with a shovel
My god, I love you.
My god, I love you.
November 10, 2025 at 2:26 PM
*getting hit in the face with a shovel
My god, I love you.
My god, I love you.
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
Why,
You grave but reckless senators
You grave but reckless senators
November 10, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Why,
You grave but reckless senators
You grave but reckless senators
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
them: go BIG or go home
me: [walking into my house] way ahead of you
me: [walking into my house] way ahead of you
November 10, 2025 at 2:54 PM
them: go BIG or go home
me: [walking into my house] way ahead of you
me: [walking into my house] way ahead of you
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
I first asked my wife out at a Roadrunner fan convention.
We like to say it was a meep cute.
We like to say it was a meep cute.
November 10, 2025 at 2:41 PM
I first asked my wife out at a Roadrunner fan convention.
We like to say it was a meep cute.
We like to say it was a meep cute.
This chamber echoing louder than than a thousand drunken ricola dudes in a Kentucky cavern
November 10, 2025 at 2:15 PM
This chamber echoing louder than than a thousand drunken ricola dudes in a Kentucky cavern
Don’t worry guys they’ve got a plan to dig up John McCain’s thumb
November 10, 2025 at 1:52 PM
Don’t worry guys they’ve got a plan to dig up John McCain’s thumb
Today marks 50 years since 29 brave sailors gave their lives so that we could have the weirdest hit pop song of the century
November 10, 2025 at 1:30 PM
Today marks 50 years since 29 brave sailors gave their lives so that we could have the weirdest hit pop song of the century
Great work Dems I take back all that stuff I chanted with megaphone guy at the No kings rally
November 10, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Great work Dems I take back all that stuff I chanted with megaphone guy at the No kings rally