Lizzlepants 🐒
@lizzlepants.bsky.social
Pinned
Lizzlepants 🐒
@lizzlepants.bsky.social
· Nov 11
revenge is a dish best served after I’ve licked everything on the plate
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
if i’m listening to paula cole and burning stuff, it’s too late
February 3, 2026 at 5:31 PM
if i’m listening to paula cole and burning stuff, it’s too late
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
Since Sesame Street is canonically in Manhattan, there’s no way Oscar’s living in that trash can for less than $3,000 a month.
February 3, 2026 at 5:19 PM
Since Sesame Street is canonically in Manhattan, there’s no way Oscar’s living in that trash can for less than $3,000 a month.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
it’s my god given right as an american to lie to my doctor
February 3, 2026 at 4:35 PM
it’s my god given right as an american to lie to my doctor
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
constantly sniffing my hot coco flavored chapstick like the junkie that i am
February 3, 2026 at 5:15 PM
constantly sniffing my hot coco flavored chapstick like the junkie that i am
Happy birthday crabby daddy 🎉🎈🎂🎁
February 3, 2026 at 4:26 PM
Happy birthday crabby daddy 🎉🎈🎂🎁
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
i just committed a CRIME (got up even though a cat was on my lap)
February 3, 2026 at 4:23 PM
i just committed a CRIME (got up even though a cat was on my lap)
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Paying my chiropractor a little extra so they'll burp me before my adjustment
February 3, 2026 at 3:35 PM
Paying my chiropractor a little extra so they'll burp me before my adjustment
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
i'm fatuated with you, i'm not 𝘪𝘯fatuated with you.
February 3, 2026 at 1:50 PM
i'm fatuated with you, i'm not 𝘪𝘯fatuated with you.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
don't worry, even if your life doesn't work out in the end you'll have generated lots of training data for future models
February 3, 2026 at 2:44 PM
don't worry, even if your life doesn't work out in the end you'll have generated lots of training data for future models
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
this coffee is seriously distracting me from slacking off at work
February 3, 2026 at 3:09 PM
this coffee is seriously distracting me from slacking off at work
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
Sorry, I can't come into the office because my cat would be sad.
February 3, 2026 at 12:59 PM
Sorry, I can't come into the office because my cat would be sad.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
Found a couple of technical plot holes in "Weird Science."
February 3, 2026 at 2:16 PM
Found a couple of technical plot holes in "Weird Science."
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
running for office with the slogan
i lack those intolerant
i lack those intolerant
February 3, 2026 at 3:11 PM
running for office with the slogan
i lack those intolerant
i lack those intolerant
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
I can look at a friggin calendar and see there are six more weeks of winter. Set the damn groundhog free.
February 3, 2026 at 3:13 PM
I can look at a friggin calendar and see there are six more weeks of winter. Set the damn groundhog free.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
Making all my phone calls from the bathroom now to sound more presidential
February 3, 2026 at 4:31 AM
Making all my phone calls from the bathroom now to sound more presidential
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
I will admit I like getting fucked up because that's when the ghosts come talk to me and we figure out our bullshit
February 3, 2026 at 4:31 AM
I will admit I like getting fucked up because that's when the ghosts come talk to me and we figure out our bullshit
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
Someone outside the US: So, let me get this straight. The groundhog...
Me: Is clairvoyant, yes
Me: Is clairvoyant, yes
February 2, 2026 at 2:37 PM
Someone outside the US: So, let me get this straight. The groundhog...
Me: Is clairvoyant, yes
Me: Is clairvoyant, yes
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
You’re never alone when you have parasites
February 3, 2026 at 10:13 AM
You’re never alone when you have parasites
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that’s mr. poopypants to you fella
February 3, 2026 at 2:36 PM
that’s mr. poopypants to you fella
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
I need to stop buying up domain names out of spite because I am surprised when I get charged for renewal two years after I was mad
February 3, 2026 at 2:36 PM
I need to stop buying up domain names out of spite because I am surprised when I get charged for renewal two years after I was mad
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
in the absence of electricity, water, and internet, we became very interested in birds
February 2, 2026 at 4:59 PM
in the absence of electricity, water, and internet, we became very interested in birds
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
a drop of water went down my sleeve while i was washing my face and ruined my entire morning
February 3, 2026 at 2:30 PM
a drop of water went down my sleeve while i was washing my face and ruined my entire morning
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
not wearing a bra to the hospital feels a little illegal everyone please avert your eyes these are my bedroom boobs
February 3, 2026 at 1:36 PM
not wearing a bra to the hospital feels a little illegal everyone please avert your eyes these are my bedroom boobs
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
In Boston it’s darth vaydah
January 25, 2026 at 5:08 PM
In Boston it’s darth vaydah