Lizzlepants 🐒
@lizzlepants.bsky.social
Pinned
Lizzlepants 🐒
@lizzlepants.bsky.social
· Nov 11
revenge is a dish best served after I’ve licked everything on the plate
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
My mistake when you said you could read I thought that meant you also could comprehend what you read.
February 4, 2026 at 2:06 PM
My mistake when you said you could read I thought that meant you also could comprehend what you read.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
Boss: Do you have time for a quick meeting next week?
Me, staring at my calendar packed with back to back “kiss pets on forehead” appointments: Honestly, I am swamped.
Me, staring at my calendar packed with back to back “kiss pets on forehead” appointments: Honestly, I am swamped.
February 4, 2026 at 12:39 PM
Boss: Do you have time for a quick meeting next week?
Me, staring at my calendar packed with back to back “kiss pets on forehead” appointments: Honestly, I am swamped.
Me, staring at my calendar packed with back to back “kiss pets on forehead” appointments: Honestly, I am swamped.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
3d printing with string cheese
February 4, 2026 at 6:52 AM
3d printing with string cheese
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
asking my girl to take me to the gas station so i can get a little something to take the edge off and purchasing 5 hot dogs
February 4, 2026 at 2:48 AM
asking my girl to take me to the gas station so i can get a little something to take the edge off and purchasing 5 hot dogs
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
i like to think about the friends of the guy who invented the tuba and how they reacted the first time he played it for them.
February 2, 2026 at 5:08 PM
i like to think about the friends of the guy who invented the tuba and how they reacted the first time he played it for them.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
ima show you how to turn it up a notch
February 4, 2026 at 9:52 AM
ima show you how to turn it up a notch
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
It’s a full moon tonight, be sure to deliver your beating heart to a forest witch in a box of intricately woven twigs
February 1, 2026 at 11:10 PM
It’s a full moon tonight, be sure to deliver your beating heart to a forest witch in a box of intricately woven twigs
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
My doctor says I'm no longer allowed to correlate.
December 27, 2025 at 2:26 AM
My doctor says I'm no longer allowed to correlate.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
Thank you for the 30 day free trial of 2026 but I’d like to cancel my subscription.
February 4, 2026 at 9:37 AM
Thank you for the 30 day free trial of 2026 but I’d like to cancel my subscription.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
i’ve always been told that taxes are the price you pay to live in a civilized society so like do we not have to do them this year or what.
February 4, 2026 at 10:44 AM
i’ve always been told that taxes are the price you pay to live in a civilized society so like do we not have to do them this year or what.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
Grandma: I’m hosting Thanksgiving do you want to come over and fix my whole house
February 2, 2026 at 2:32 AM
Grandma: I’m hosting Thanksgiving do you want to come over and fix my whole house
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
I spend my evenings attending a dramatic live performance called “Starving Cats Who Ate One Hour Ago.”
February 4, 2026 at 12:53 AM
I spend my evenings attending a dramatic live performance called “Starving Cats Who Ate One Hour Ago.”
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
Its 1990 something and I'm wearing my B.U.M sweatshirt and my Z. Cavaricci pants or maybe my Levi 501 button fly jeans to the under age dance club on friday night in Upper Darby. (For me it was knock offs or what we called Bobo gear , cause I was poor)
it’s 1990 something and I’m wearing my guess jeans and k Swiss sneakers to the blockbuster on the corner to rent horror flicks for my high school slumber party
February 3, 2026 at 11:17 PM
Its 1990 something and I'm wearing my B.U.M sweatshirt and my Z. Cavaricci pants or maybe my Levi 501 button fly jeans to the under age dance club on friday night in Upper Darby. (For me it was knock offs or what we called Bobo gear , cause I was poor)
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
it’s 1990 something and I’m wearing my A&F sweater, jeans, and DMs in downtown Charleston at Charlie’s Little Bar sippin’ Macallan 12.
it’s 1990 something and I’m wearing my guess jeans and k Swiss sneakers to the blockbuster on the corner to rent horror flicks for my high school slumber party
February 3, 2026 at 11:55 PM
it’s 1990 something and I’m wearing my A&F sweater, jeans, and DMs in downtown Charleston at Charlie’s Little Bar sippin’ Macallan 12.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
I’m the only person in this elevator who isn’t afraid to talk about the real issues
February 3, 2026 at 3:19 AM
I’m the only person in this elevator who isn’t afraid to talk about the real issues
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
Wearing a slinky like a boa while throwing myself down the stairs.
February 3, 2026 at 9:45 PM
Wearing a slinky like a boa while throwing myself down the stairs.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
maybe if i stop moisturizing i’ll finally become an alligator
February 3, 2026 at 8:59 PM
maybe if i stop moisturizing i’ll finally become an alligator
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
it’s 1990 something and i’m wearing bugle boy pants and british knights sneakers to the arcade then hit up round table for pizza before we play bb wars in the woods
it’s 1990 something and I’m wearing my guess jeans and k Swiss sneakers to the blockbuster on the corner to rent horror flicks for my high school slumber party
February 3, 2026 at 7:55 PM
it’s 1990 something and i’m wearing bugle boy pants and british knights sneakers to the arcade then hit up round table for pizza before we play bb wars in the woods
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
it's 1990 something and i'm wearing Z Cavariccis and Air Jordans to the local Pizza Hut for pan pizza and a pitcher of Coke before heading to the HS dance for some Hammer time
it’s 1990 something and I’m wearing my guess jeans and k Swiss sneakers to the blockbuster on the corner to rent horror flicks for my high school slumber party
February 3, 2026 at 10:56 PM
it's 1990 something and i'm wearing Z Cavariccis and Air Jordans to the local Pizza Hut for pan pizza and a pitcher of Coke before heading to the HS dance for some Hammer time
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
sometimes i wish i lived in South Park. none of my towels ever wanna get high with me
August 22, 2025 at 12:30 PM
sometimes i wish i lived in South Park. none of my towels ever wanna get high with me
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
A spray tan booth but for moisturizer
February 3, 2026 at 11:56 AM
A spray tan booth but for moisturizer
im a little pea dot
tart and smout
here is my randall
here is my snout
when i get all beamed up
hear me slout
rip me open and
floor me bout
tart and smout
here is my randall
here is my snout
when i get all beamed up
hear me slout
rip me open and
floor me bout
February 3, 2026 at 10:51 PM
im a little pea dot
tart and smout
here is my randall
here is my snout
when i get all beamed up
hear me slout
rip me open and
floor me bout
tart and smout
here is my randall
here is my snout
when i get all beamed up
hear me slout
rip me open and
floor me bout
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
I like candles but I’m worried I might arrange them in the wrong way and accidentally summon a demon.
February 3, 2026 at 10:36 PM
I like candles but I’m worried I might arrange them in the wrong way and accidentally summon a demon.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
Let's circle back to before you were talking.
February 3, 2026 at 9:56 PM
Let's circle back to before you were talking.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
nobody gets access to me until conditions improve
February 3, 2026 at 10:39 PM
nobody gets access to me until conditions improve