Lizzlepants 🐒
@lizzlepants.bsky.social
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Lizzlepants 🐒
@lizzlepants.bsky.social
· Nov 11
revenge is a dish best served after I’ve licked everything on the plate
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
Every time I see two blue jays in the yard they act like they know each other and the breakup was bad.
January 28, 2026 at 12:54 PM
Every time I see two blue jays in the yard they act like they know each other and the breakup was bad.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
One day I'll probably look up from my phone and realize my kids put me in a nursing home.
January 31, 2026 at 1:14 PM
One day I'll probably look up from my phone and realize my kids put me in a nursing home.
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If I don't start getting some solid attention soon I'm going to make you people wish I had.
January 30, 2026 at 11:39 PM
If I don't start getting some solid attention soon I'm going to make you people wish I had.
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I've given you all too much of myself.
January 30, 2026 at 11:35 PM
I've given you all too much of myself.
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sometimes the sound of rain is the only conversation you need
January 31, 2026 at 1:09 PM
sometimes the sound of rain is the only conversation you need
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walking around my brain like you're in the attic moving boxes around
January 28, 2026 at 2:22 PM
walking around my brain like you're in the attic moving boxes around
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Pirates caught me sniffing around their booty again.
January 31, 2026 at 3:11 AM
Pirates caught me sniffing around their booty again.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
Your sweatpants tell me you’re ready for a quiet, comfy night, but the granny panties tell me you wanna rock my world…
January 31, 2026 at 1:12 AM
Your sweatpants tell me you’re ready for a quiet, comfy night, but the granny panties tell me you wanna rock my world…
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
I didn't ask to be literate, this is bullshit!
January 31, 2026 at 7:28 AM
I didn't ask to be literate, this is bullshit!
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A platonic scalp rub would be clutch right now.
January 31, 2026 at 12:32 PM
A platonic scalp rub would be clutch right now.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
As a child, my nightly routine involved negotiating my soul with Jesus and discussing the possibility of dying in my sleep.
Welcome to the origin story of my anxiety.
Welcome to the origin story of my anxiety.
January 31, 2026 at 12:20 PM
As a child, my nightly routine involved negotiating my soul with Jesus and discussing the possibility of dying in my sleep.
Welcome to the origin story of my anxiety.
Welcome to the origin story of my anxiety.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
And y'all thought those Woodstock 99 kids were crazy for burning the shit to the ground.
January 31, 2026 at 12:32 PM
And y'all thought those Woodstock 99 kids were crazy for burning the shit to the ground.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
no thank you, new fresh horrors, i’m still digesting yesterday’s
January 31, 2026 at 12:45 PM
no thank you, new fresh horrors, i’m still digesting yesterday’s
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
i fear i spammed too close to the sun
January 31, 2026 at 11:35 AM
i fear i spammed too close to the sun
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
Welcome to your 50s.
One wrong move and your body files a formal complaint.
Spoiler: there’s no good move.
One wrong move and your body files a formal complaint.
Spoiler: there’s no good move.
January 30, 2026 at 1:56 PM
Welcome to your 50s.
One wrong move and your body files a formal complaint.
Spoiler: there’s no good move.
One wrong move and your body files a formal complaint.
Spoiler: there’s no good move.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
Some people find me unapproachable, which means I just need to convince the rest of them
January 30, 2026 at 11:41 PM
Some people find me unapproachable, which means I just need to convince the rest of them
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
Coffee strong enough to heal broken bones.
January 31, 2026 at 12:16 PM
Coffee strong enough to heal broken bones.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
normalize going on a quest, finding a bunch of treasure, and giving it all to me
January 31, 2026 at 11:49 AM
normalize going on a quest, finding a bunch of treasure, and giving it all to me
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
I figure once we’ve eaten one or two billionaires the rest will fall in line pretty quick, no?
January 31, 2026 at 12:24 PM
I figure once we’ve eaten one or two billionaires the rest will fall in line pretty quick, no?
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
i’m okay with compromise as long as i always get my way
January 30, 2026 at 5:45 PM
i’m okay with compromise as long as i always get my way
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
I talk a lot of shit for someone who’s sitting on a heated massage pad and listening to soft hits of the 80s after midnight
January 31, 2026 at 6:23 AM
I talk a lot of shit for someone who’s sitting on a heated massage pad and listening to soft hits of the 80s after midnight
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
making a feed called "people I'm never mad at" and adding my precious moots to it so they know I'm never mad at them
January 31, 2026 at 12:22 PM
making a feed called "people I'm never mad at" and adding my precious moots to it so they know I'm never mad at them
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
I still miss her, that younger version of me that would have put up with your shit
January 31, 2026 at 10:40 AM
I still miss her, that younger version of me that would have put up with your shit
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
Be the reason they walk into a wall smiling at their phone
January 30, 2026 at 1:34 PM
Be the reason they walk into a wall smiling at their phone