Lizzlepants 🐒
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lizzlepants.bsky.social
Lizzlepants 🐒
@lizzlepants.bsky.social
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revenge is a dish best served after I’ve licked everything on the plate
can’t hang out this weekend
re-binging Schitt’s Creek
January 30, 2026 at 10:29 PM
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why is the void black? what if it's hot pink?
January 30, 2026 at 9:44 PM
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Someone carry me upstairs to my apartment. I'm no longer interested in walking .
January 30, 2026 at 9:38 PM
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a porn site for sharks called onlyfins
January 30, 2026 at 9:35 PM
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facebook is great way to find out how racist and fucked up people you went to middle school with turned out
January 30, 2026 at 9:34 PM
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Each day, my mom made my homeschooling as close to a real school experience by shaking me down for lunch money.
January 30, 2026 at 6:37 PM
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Catherine O’Hara didn’t steal scenes she just showed up and ownership automatically defaulted to her
January 30, 2026 at 6:45 PM
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nostalgic for when news was just one new
January 30, 2026 at 7:21 PM
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Sex is good but have you ever ordered takeaway then forgot for a second and remembered again?
January 30, 2026 at 7:41 PM
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As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a customer.
January 30, 2026 at 7:53 PM
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someone is gonna edit jar jar binks into every scene in melania and we're all gonna love it
January 30, 2026 at 8:10 PM
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A co-worker of mine confessed to me that she sees dead people. Well, I'm glad at least she's dating again.
January 30, 2026 at 7:39 PM
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trying to find the difference
between skill and a gimmick
January 30, 2026 at 8:42 PM
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My haters are calling an emergency meeting
January 30, 2026 at 8:22 PM
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Nobody works hard on Fridays
January 30, 2026 at 8:38 PM
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I'm hungry like the two wolves inside of me.
January 30, 2026 at 7:57 PM
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[points to mirror] NERD
January 30, 2026 at 8:30 PM
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Phone battery at 69, thought of you
January 30, 2026 at 6:12 PM
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Dad: let’s name him Eugene

Mom: but he looks like a mix of both of us

Dad: Ourgene it is
January 30, 2026 at 6:11 PM
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Some women in Salem avoided the gallows by entering the witchless protection program.
January 30, 2026 at 5:09 PM
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I typically head straight to the Frequently Asked Questions so I can FAQ around & find out.
January 30, 2026 at 5:49 PM
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me: i'm seeing some water staining on the ceiling; we must have a leak somewhere

contractor: when do you notice it most?

me: when i look up
January 30, 2026 at 2:03 PM
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The man circling our property with a megaphone, repeating "We are all called to the river," is not affiliated with the casino.
January 30, 2026 at 5:51 PM
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i went outside yesterday you can’t make me do it again today my nipples are still frozen
January 30, 2026 at 5:13 PM
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the lack of charm
is part of my charm
January 30, 2026 at 5:57 PM