Daisy
@daisy91.bsky.social
Pinned
Daisy
@daisy91.bsky.social
· 11d
One time I slipped and fell on an acorn so I told all my friends they couldn’t like acorns anymore
Reposted by Daisy
“I am not afraid of you,” said I to her, fearfully.
November 15, 2025 at 5:27 PM
“I am not afraid of you,” said I to her, fearfully.
Reposted by Daisy
i’m so full…maybe i should have a little snack
November 15, 2025 at 5:39 AM
i’m so full…maybe i should have a little snack
Reposted by Daisy
You call me old-fashioned, I call me vintage. We're not the same.
November 11, 2025 at 12:56 PM
You call me old-fashioned, I call me vintage. We're not the same.
Reposted by Daisy
POLICE OFFICER [reading me my rights]: Anything you say can and will be held against you
ME: …boobies
ME: …boobies
November 10, 2025 at 3:01 PM
POLICE OFFICER [reading me my rights]: Anything you say can and will be held against you
ME: …boobies
ME: …boobies
Reposted by Daisy
the sleep paralysis demons just want to talk
November 15, 2025 at 2:47 AM
the sleep paralysis demons just want to talk
Reposted by Daisy
*walks out of the woods in the mall parking lot*
“I can cut your hair.”
“I can cut your hair.”
November 15, 2025 at 4:18 PM
*walks out of the woods in the mall parking lot*
“I can cut your hair.”
“I can cut your hair.”
Reposted by Daisy
Reposted by Daisy
I hope this email piledrives you
November 14, 2025 at 4:23 PM
I hope this email piledrives you
Reposted by Daisy
Create the problem
Fix the problem
Take credit for fixing the problem
Fix the problem
Take credit for fixing the problem
November 15, 2025 at 5:36 AM
Create the problem
Fix the problem
Take credit for fixing the problem
Fix the problem
Take credit for fixing the problem
Reposted by Daisy
It turns out that anybody can be a greeter at Walmart. You don't even have to work there.
November 15, 2025 at 1:15 PM
It turns out that anybody can be a greeter at Walmart. You don't even have to work there.
Reposted by Daisy
sarcasm is the glue that holds bsky together if you want to keep sniffing
July 10, 2025 at 1:36 AM
sarcasm is the glue that holds bsky together if you want to keep sniffing
Reposted by Daisy
could a depressed person do this?
*polishes teeth with a q tip*
*polishes teeth with a q tip*
November 11, 2025 at 7:29 PM
could a depressed person do this?
*polishes teeth with a q tip*
*polishes teeth with a q tip*
Reposted by Daisy
You’re at wood
I need you at chipper
I need you at chipper
November 14, 2025 at 5:42 PM
You’re at wood
I need you at chipper
I need you at chipper
Reposted by Daisy
whenever I sneeze Floyd gives this look of bemused concern not unlike the look humans give each other when we trip over our own feet
November 15, 2025 at 3:30 AM
whenever I sneeze Floyd gives this look of bemused concern not unlike the look humans give each other when we trip over our own feet
Reposted by Daisy
When it's all said and done, there won't be enough wood chippers to go around.
November 15, 2025 at 3:11 PM
When it's all said and done, there won't be enough wood chippers to go around.
Reposted by Daisy
my cat is in my room. i cannot see her but i can feel her evil presence.
November 14, 2025 at 4:04 AM
my cat is in my room. i cannot see her but i can feel her evil presence.
Reposted by Daisy
Just went to the Popular with Friends feed and nobody knew you
November 14, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Just went to the Popular with Friends feed and nobody knew you
Reposted by Daisy
You ever see someone and wonder what their hairdresser does for a living?
November 13, 2025 at 10:06 AM
You ever see someone and wonder what their hairdresser does for a living?
Reposted by Daisy
We get pretty excited about epsom salt around here
November 15, 2025 at 3:22 PM
We get pretty excited about epsom salt around here
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QOTD: “The humanity of a child is worth far more than the reputation of any adult who betrayed them”
November 14, 2025 at 9:37 PM
QOTD: “The humanity of a child is worth far more than the reputation of any adult who betrayed them”
Reposted by Daisy
Starsky and Hutch wouldn’t have been as cool if the show was called Dave and Ken.
November 15, 2025 at 4:33 PM
Starsky and Hutch wouldn’t have been as cool if the show was called Dave and Ken.
Reposted by Daisy
And then the clerk said "Your wrinkles and grays are HIDEOUS!"
Actually she said nothing & took the payment for my wine without carding me
Actually she said nothing & took the payment for my wine without carding me
November 13, 2025 at 4:53 PM
And then the clerk said "Your wrinkles and grays are HIDEOUS!"
Actually she said nothing & took the payment for my wine without carding me
Actually she said nothing & took the payment for my wine without carding me
Reposted by Daisy
*brings a mistress to a wife fight
November 15, 2025 at 4:09 PM
*brings a mistress to a wife fight
Co worker: I’m happy to announce that I’m pregnant
Me: wow, brag a little more about having sex recently, Susan
Me: wow, brag a little more about having sex recently, Susan
November 15, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Co worker: I’m happy to announce that I’m pregnant
Me: wow, brag a little more about having sex recently, Susan
Me: wow, brag a little more about having sex recently, Susan
Reposted by Daisy
just read llamas are humpless camels. im changing my name to llama.
November 12, 2025 at 11:46 AM
just read llamas are humpless camels. im changing my name to llama.