DaddyJew
@daddyjew.bsky.social
Pinned
it’s nice to mute you too
Reposted by DaddyJew
Speed dating is when you have to tell Keanu Reeves a little bit about yourself or this bus will explode
November 10, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Speed dating is when you have to tell Keanu Reeves a little bit about yourself or this bus will explode
saw a flaming bag of shit on someone’s porch this morning, thought of you
November 11, 2025 at 11:31 AM
saw a flaming bag of shit on someone’s porch this morning, thought of you
Reposted by DaddyJew
my to do list is so long it may as well be a fantasy novel
November 11, 2025 at 7:00 AM
my to do list is so long it may as well be a fantasy novel
Reposted by DaddyJew
what if we made out like bandits
November 11, 2025 at 5:37 AM
what if we made out like bandits
Reposted by DaddyJew
girls don't want boys girls want mashed potatoes
November 10, 2025 at 11:15 PM
girls don't want boys girls want mashed potatoes
Reposted by DaddyJew
Like a gargoyle trapped within a white picket fence.
November 11, 2025 at 5:43 AM
Like a gargoyle trapped within a white picket fence.
well well well if it isn’t the same bullshit a different day
November 11, 2025 at 11:07 AM
well well well if it isn’t the same bullshit a different day
Reposted by DaddyJew
I think it should be against the law to get out of bed when you don’t want to.
November 11, 2025 at 3:05 AM
I think it should be against the law to get out of bed when you don’t want to.
Reposted by DaddyJew
You call it an anxiety disorder, I'd say it's my 6th sense
November 11, 2025 at 2:35 AM
You call it an anxiety disorder, I'd say it's my 6th sense
Reposted by DaddyJew
What if we made out in the LEGO store.
November 11, 2025 at 4:29 AM
What if we made out in the LEGO store.
i see your passive aggressiveness and raise you a mute
November 11, 2025 at 2:45 AM
i see your passive aggressiveness and raise you a mute
I wish I loved anything as much as NFL announcers love talking about tushes
November 11, 2025 at 1:29 AM
I wish I loved anything as much as NFL announcers love talking about tushes
Reposted by DaddyJew
I think my first orgasm was at the Scholastic Book Fair.
November 11, 2025 at 1:26 AM
I think my first orgasm was at the Scholastic Book Fair.
ironic how the health industry is trying to bleed us dry financially
November 11, 2025 at 1:26 AM
ironic how the health industry is trying to bleed us dry financially
Reposted by DaddyJew
just yelled at my kid for having dirty clothes on the floor, turned around and immediately tried to hide the fact that i too have dirty clothes on the floor next to my laundry basket
July 3, 2025 at 12:18 PM
just yelled at my kid for having dirty clothes on the floor, turned around and immediately tried to hide the fact that i too have dirty clothes on the floor next to my laundry basket
Reposted by DaddyJew
if i die on a hill i expect you to roll me down in a tire jackass style
November 4, 2025 at 2:13 PM
if i die on a hill i expect you to roll me down in a tire jackass style
Reposted by DaddyJew
ME: hey babe do you want to um (forgets the word sleep) temporary death with me
DATE (who is goth): oh hell yes
DATE (who is goth): oh hell yes
November 11, 2025 at 12:37 AM
ME: hey babe do you want to um (forgets the word sleep) temporary death with me
DATE (who is goth): oh hell yes
DATE (who is goth): oh hell yes
Reposted by DaddyJew
I went for my yearly OBGYN appt. and she told me my hymen is back, in tact
November 10, 2025 at 11:48 PM
I went for my yearly OBGYN appt. and she told me my hymen is back, in tact
Reposted by DaddyJew
how many jokes do i need to post before the world is fixed
November 11, 2025 at 12:26 AM
how many jokes do i need to post before the world is fixed
i like my ice how i like my ICE, crushed
November 11, 2025 at 12:31 AM
i like my ice how i like my ICE, crushed
Reposted by DaddyJew
asking the loan officer if i can pay down the 50 year mortgage in posts
November 11, 2025 at 12:15 AM
asking the loan officer if i can pay down the 50 year mortgage in posts
Reposted by DaddyJew
Me, when I’m watching something filmed where I live and I recognize neighborhoods where I’ve bought drugs:
November 10, 2025 at 10:26 PM
Me, when I’m watching something filmed where I live and I recognize neighborhoods where I’ve bought drugs:
Reposted by DaddyJew
Of course I don’t post selfies. Like normal people my age I grew up hating the way I looked
November 6, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Of course I don’t post selfies. Like normal people my age I grew up hating the way I looked
Reposted by DaddyJew
I can’t wait until Wicked 3: Tokyo Drift gets released next year.
November 10, 2025 at 10:31 PM
I can’t wait until Wicked 3: Tokyo Drift gets released next year.
Reposted by DaddyJew
Everyone’s gangster until they hear their own voice on a recording.
November 10, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Everyone’s gangster until they hear their own voice on a recording.