Kellalena
@kellalena.bsky.social
Make me laugh and I’ll love you forever 👀
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:vvlw2ggojhkpmivjzdcniuzr/feed/aaafyok6b2wuy
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:vvlw2ggojhkpmivjzdcniuzr/feed/aaafyok6b2wuy
Pinned
I am unstoppable unless there’s a minor inconvenience.
Sorry I’m late and regret coming
January 5, 2026 at 12:45 AM
Sorry I’m late and regret coming
Reposted by Kellalena
one’s company two’s a crowd
January 4, 2026 at 6:55 PM
one’s company two’s a crowd
Reposted by Kellalena
Cthulhu walks up into the club all like "Hey," before releasing a torrent of deadly ink that has the frantic dancers scatter and groan.
January 4, 2026 at 10:54 PM
Cthulhu walks up into the club all like "Hey," before releasing a torrent of deadly ink that has the frantic dancers scatter and groan.
Reposted by Kellalena
Saying “I promise to never stop masturbating to you” during my wedding vows
January 4, 2026 at 11:40 PM
Saying “I promise to never stop masturbating to you” during my wedding vows
Reposted by Kellalena
ME: what’s the worst that could happen?
UNIVERSE: *cracks knuckles*
UNIVERSE: *cracks knuckles*
January 4, 2026 at 12:52 AM
ME: what’s the worst that could happen?
UNIVERSE: *cracks knuckles*
UNIVERSE: *cracks knuckles*
Reposted by Kellalena
bring science to a nye fight
January 4, 2026 at 8:21 PM
bring science to a nye fight
Reposted by Kellalena
It’s 8 a.m., and I’ve already misplaced my sanity.
January 2, 2026 at 2:55 PM
It’s 8 a.m., and I’ve already misplaced my sanity.
Reposted by Kellalena
My memory has gotten so bad that last night I let the dog out, and then I just went to bed.
But then this morning my wife told me that we've never had a dog & our 4 year-old son is missing.
But then this morning my wife told me that we've never had a dog & our 4 year-old son is missing.
January 4, 2026 at 9:56 PM
My memory has gotten so bad that last night I let the dog out, and then I just went to bed.
But then this morning my wife told me that we've never had a dog & our 4 year-old son is missing.
But then this morning my wife told me that we've never had a dog & our 4 year-old son is missing.
Reposted by Kellalena
terrifying if literal: computer chips
December 16, 2025 at 5:34 PM
terrifying if literal: computer chips
Reposted by Kellalena
Since there were no after school specials on the weekend we had to resist all of the destructive temptations of adolescence on our own, often by taking a shitload of safe non-addictive specials
January 4, 2026 at 6:41 PM
Since there were no after school specials on the weekend we had to resist all of the destructive temptations of adolescence on our own, often by taking a shitload of safe non-addictive specials
Reposted by Kellalena
winning* hearts and minds
*breaking
*breaking
January 4, 2026 at 10:37 AM
winning* hearts and minds
*breaking
*breaking
Reposted by Kellalena
Paranormal extracurricular activities is when ghosts have sex
January 4, 2026 at 10:42 PM
Paranormal extracurricular activities is when ghosts have sex
Reposted by Kellalena
a dude i’m talking to got a tortoise as a pet so now he gets to see my boobs.
January 3, 2026 at 6:08 PM
a dude i’m talking to got a tortoise as a pet so now he gets to see my boobs.
Reposted by Kellalena
Sometimes I don't know who runs me either.
January 4, 2026 at 11:02 PM
Sometimes I don't know who runs me either.
Reposted by Kellalena
Telling someone they're one of a kind and then erasing the rest of humanity to prove a point.
A love story
A love story
January 4, 2026 at 11:04 PM
Telling someone they're one of a kind and then erasing the rest of humanity to prove a point.
A love story
A love story
Reposted by Kellalena
Leaving a pile of words here for later
January 4, 2026 at 4:13 PM
Leaving a pile of words here for later
Reposted by Kellalena
Things could be worse [threatening]
January 4, 2026 at 10:45 PM
Things could be worse [threatening]
Fool me once shame on you, fool me 55 times and then I’m done.
January 4, 2026 at 10:07 PM
Fool me once shame on you, fool me 55 times and then I’m done.
Reposted by Kellalena
Feeling pretty optimistic about our shared pessimism 🤞🏆👑 Congratulations @kellalena.bsky.social from @captantagonist.bsky.social
If you can’t handle me at my expecting the worst, you don’t deserve me at my it wasn’t as bad as I thought.
January 4, 2026 at 1:31 AM
Feeling pretty optimistic about our shared pessimism 🤞🏆👑 Congratulations @kellalena.bsky.social from @captantagonist.bsky.social
Reposted by Kellalena
My New Year's resolution is to become a Vagitarian
December 31, 2025 at 12:56 PM
My New Year's resolution is to become a Vagitarian
Reposted by Kellalena
I've always thought it was weird to tell people on a social media app goodnight. Why do that?
January 1, 2026 at 2:52 AM
I've always thought it was weird to tell people on a social media app goodnight. Why do that?
Reposted by Kellalena
There are people that find forgotten money in their coat pockets. I just found a spork in mine
January 2, 2026 at 3:11 PM
There are people that find forgotten money in their coat pockets. I just found a spork in mine
Reposted by Kellalena
Just realized a post I made a week ago has a typo 🤦♂️
January 2, 2026 at 5:12 PM
Just realized a post I made a week ago has a typo 🤦♂️
Reposted by Kellalena
Billie Jean is not my hors d'oeuvre
January 4, 2026 at 12:23 AM
Billie Jean is not my hors d'oeuvre
Reposted by Kellalena
Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
Me: (absolutely slathered head to toe in peanut butter and birdseed) I think that's obvious by now.
Me: (absolutely slathered head to toe in peanut butter and birdseed) I think that's obvious by now.
January 3, 2026 at 10:18 PM
Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
Me: (absolutely slathered head to toe in peanut butter and birdseed) I think that's obvious by now.
Me: (absolutely slathered head to toe in peanut butter and birdseed) I think that's obvious by now.