Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
Pinned
Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
· Dec 14
me: how about a little nutmeg?
meg:
meg:
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Sesame Street taught me to count to twelve, but in the most dramatic way possible
December 17, 2025 at 4:21 PM
Sesame Street taught me to count to twelve, but in the most dramatic way possible
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Sperm donor? I’m a goddamned sperm philanthropist.
December 20, 2025 at 9:34 PM
Sperm donor? I’m a goddamned sperm philanthropist.
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More male podcasters getting punched in the face, please
December 21, 2025 at 2:07 AM
More male podcasters getting punched in the face, please
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when you get to heaven and they show you how much time you spent on the toilet
December 21, 2025 at 2:57 AM
when you get to heaven and they show you how much time you spent on the toilet
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I remember in my 20s when I realized my Dad was into some really cool music back in his day, bands like The Coasters & The Jive Five, I realized how important music was. It was entertainment but it was also survival for the performers & the observers & society. It made everyone better.
December 21, 2025 at 2:45 AM
I remember in my 20s when I realized my Dad was into some really cool music back in his day, bands like The Coasters & The Jive Five, I realized how important music was. It was entertainment but it was also survival for the performers & the observers & society. It made everyone better.
Reposted by Shade 5
a taco is a sandwich
a hotdog is a sandwich
a gyro is a sandwich
but a tostada is a tostada
a hotdog is a sandwich
a gyro is a sandwich
but a tostada is a tostada
December 21, 2025 at 3:00 AM
a taco is a sandwich
a hotdog is a sandwich
a gyro is a sandwich
but a tostada is a tostada
a hotdog is a sandwich
a gyro is a sandwich
but a tostada is a tostada
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Coffee maker malfunctions, steps in cat puke, signs DNR.
December 21, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Coffee maker malfunctions, steps in cat puke, signs DNR.
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my intestines are gurgling with holiday cheer
December 22, 2025 at 8:18 AM
my intestines are gurgling with holiday cheer
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Smoking that yule log like it owes me money
December 22, 2025 at 4:39 AM
Smoking that yule log like it owes me money
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I sit on a bench eating a spicy sandwich from Popeye’s. I see a group of angry chickens approaching. One of them pulls out a knife. In that moment, I know I’m fucked.
December 23, 2025 at 1:47 PM
I sit on a bench eating a spicy sandwich from Popeye’s. I see a group of angry chickens approaching. One of them pulls out a knife. In that moment, I know I’m fucked.
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Fell asleep watching a Charlie Brown Christmas if anyone spoils the ending you’re blocked forever
December 23, 2025 at 10:39 AM
Fell asleep watching a Charlie Brown Christmas if anyone spoils the ending you’re blocked forever
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Sometimes the best Christmas present a person can give you, is their absence.
December 23, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Sometimes the best Christmas present a person can give you, is their absence.
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Even when sex is bad, it’s still pretty good.
October 19, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Even when sex is bad, it’s still pretty good.
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I can be optimistic, but never when the world is looking.
December 13, 2025 at 10:51 PM
I can be optimistic, but never when the world is looking.
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I can write better than this but I don't want to be the one the aliens abduct and force to punch up their ultimatums.
December 23, 2025 at 6:10 PM
I can write better than this but I don't want to be the one the aliens abduct and force to punch up their ultimatums.
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It’s important to treat all human beings with respect and dignity but on the other hand I’ve met other human beings and no thanks.
December 24, 2025 at 1:09 AM
It’s important to treat all human beings with respect and dignity but on the other hand I’ve met other human beings and no thanks.
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my follow backs are vibe based idk what you want from me
December 24, 2025 at 1:05 AM
my follow backs are vibe based idk what you want from me
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i just saw the rockettes at radio city music hall !
𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ𝔸ℝ𝔼
𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ𝔸ℝ𝔼
December 22, 2025 at 11:18 PM
i just saw the rockettes at radio city music hall !
𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ𝔸ℝ𝔼
𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ𝔸ℝ𝔼
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Whatever the fuck gets you through it…
December 22, 2025 at 4:10 AM
Whatever the fuck gets you through it…
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Me (tying back air dried humid hair, kicking tumbleweed aside and flipping empty desk for good measure): Ok I'm here, what's next?
Monday:
Monday:
December 21, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Me (tying back air dried humid hair, kicking tumbleweed aside and flipping empty desk for good measure): Ok I'm here, what's next?
Monday:
Monday:
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herniated disc jockey is this something
December 23, 2025 at 1:15 AM
herniated disc jockey is this something
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you can’t hurt me
currently cuddling with two purring kittens
currently cuddling with two purring kittens
December 23, 2025 at 6:21 AM
you can’t hurt me
currently cuddling with two purring kittens
currently cuddling with two purring kittens
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Driving the roundabout in reverse would fix me.
December 10, 2025 at 11:06 PM
Driving the roundabout in reverse would fix me.
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Use your brain.
In this economy?!
In this economy?!
December 17, 2025 at 1:31 PM
Use your brain.
In this economy?!
In this economy?!