Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
Pinned
Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
· Dec 14
me: how about a little nutmeg?
meg:
meg:
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Things that are completely useless in 2026 America.
January 4, 2026 at 3:41 PM
Things that are completely useless in 2026 America.
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New year, new m… wait.. Nope. Never mind
January 1, 2026 at 3:04 PM
New year, new m… wait.. Nope. Never mind
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Get in, loser
- me, during sex
- me, during sex
December 20, 2025 at 2:54 AM
Get in, loser
- me, during sex
- me, during sex
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Are people still selling imaginary things and calling them NFTS?
January 4, 2026 at 2:34 PM
Are people still selling imaginary things and calling them NFTS?
The typewriter, the video rental store and the United States Congress
January 4, 2026 at 2:11 PM
The typewriter, the video rental store and the United States Congress
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Not enough has been written about Schrödinger’s assistant, Otto.
January 3, 2026 at 2:20 PM
Not enough has been written about Schrödinger’s assistant, Otto.
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decades-long manhunt finally ends
May 29, 2025 at 12:30 PM
decades-long manhunt finally ends
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*pokes Congress with a stick*
you catching any of this?
you catching any of this?
January 3, 2026 at 3:49 PM
*pokes Congress with a stick*
you catching any of this?
you catching any of this?
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Picked the wrong month for Dry January
January 3, 2026 at 2:59 PM
Picked the wrong month for Dry January
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Changing the browser on your phone to Duck Duck Go is like going back to a time you liked your online experience
January 3, 2026 at 6:55 PM
Changing the browser on your phone to Duck Duck Go is like going back to a time you liked your online experience
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Worst January ever
January 3, 2026 at 4:43 PM
Worst January ever
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Kind of dystopian that we kidnapped a world leader but roll out that flag and sing for football
January 4, 2026 at 1:24 AM
Kind of dystopian that we kidnapped a world leader but roll out that flag and sing for football
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*Smoking one cigarette for each of the fucks who smugly assured me I was overreacting.
January 3, 2026 at 11:45 PM
*Smoking one cigarette for each of the fucks who smugly assured me I was overreacting.
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nah, I know who my people are, thanks
December 23, 2025 at 5:29 AM
nah, I know who my people are, thanks
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Sadly, still continuing with No Nut November
January 4, 2026 at 7:45 AM
Sadly, still continuing with No Nut November
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7: mom what’s the difference between diarrhea and diabetes
me: nothing they’re the same
me: nothing they’re the same
January 4, 2026 at 5:42 AM
7: mom what’s the difference between diarrhea and diabetes
me: nothing they’re the same
me: nothing they’re the same
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Spending the next year commenting, "who's watching this in 2026" on every YouTube video.
January 1, 2026 at 1:30 PM
Spending the next year commenting, "who's watching this in 2026" on every YouTube video.
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Alvin and the Chipmunks voice: 🎵 Christmas, Christmastime is near
Time for drugs and time for fear 🎶
Time for drugs and time for fear 🎶
December 15, 2025 at 1:30 PM
Alvin and the Chipmunks voice: 🎵 Christmas, Christmastime is near
Time for drugs and time for fear 🎶
Time for drugs and time for fear 🎶
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Who am I dropping these balls on at midnight?
January 1, 2026 at 5:37 AM
Who am I dropping these balls on at midnight?
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Starting at 11:58 I will be facing east so that my wiener will technically get to 2026 first.
January 1, 2026 at 4:34 AM
Starting at 11:58 I will be facing east so that my wiener will technically get to 2026 first.
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They should make midnight earlier
January 1, 2026 at 8:06 AM
They should make midnight earlier
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I don’t mean to brag, but I haven’t deactivated in months
January 4, 2026 at 1:33 AM
I don’t mean to brag, but I haven’t deactivated in months
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Resolved: I will be making no resolutions.
December 25, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Resolved: I will be making no resolutions.
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jeez nobody knows how to
take a joke at this funeral
take a joke at this funeral
January 4, 2026 at 1:30 AM
jeez nobody knows how to
take a joke at this funeral
take a joke at this funeral
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We choose to go to the moon and do these other things not because they are easy but because I am hard.
January 4, 2026 at 12:17 AM
We choose to go to the moon and do these other things not because they are easy but because I am hard.