Shade 5
banner
shade5.bsky.social
Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
Pinned
me: how about a little nutmeg?

meg:
Reposted by Shade 5
Things that are completely useless in 2026 America.
January 4, 2026 at 3:41 PM
Reposted by Shade 5
New year, new m… wait.. Nope. Never mind
January 1, 2026 at 3:04 PM
Reposted by Shade 5
Get in, loser

- me, during sex
December 20, 2025 at 2:54 AM
Reposted by Shade 5
Are people still selling imaginary things and calling them NFTS?
January 4, 2026 at 2:34 PM
The typewriter, the video rental store and the United States Congress
January 4, 2026 at 2:11 PM
Reposted by Shade 5
Not enough has been written about Schrödinger’s assistant, Otto.
January 3, 2026 at 2:20 PM
Reposted by Shade 5
decades-long manhunt finally ends
May 29, 2025 at 12:30 PM
Reposted by Shade 5
*pokes Congress with a stick*
you catching any of this?
January 3, 2026 at 3:49 PM
Reposted by Shade 5
Picked the wrong month for Dry January
January 3, 2026 at 2:59 PM
Reposted by Shade 5
Changing the browser on your phone to Duck Duck Go is like going back to a time you liked your online experience
January 3, 2026 at 6:55 PM
Reposted by Shade 5
Worst January ever
January 3, 2026 at 4:43 PM
Reposted by Shade 5
Kind of dystopian that we kidnapped a world leader but roll out that flag and sing for football
January 4, 2026 at 1:24 AM
Reposted by Shade 5
*Smoking one cigarette for each of the fucks who smugly assured me I was overreacting.
January 3, 2026 at 11:45 PM
Reposted by Shade 5
nah, I know who my people are, thanks
December 23, 2025 at 5:29 AM
Reposted by Shade 5
Sadly, still continuing with No Nut November
January 4, 2026 at 7:45 AM
Reposted by Shade 5
7: mom what’s the difference between diarrhea and diabetes

me: nothing they’re the same
January 4, 2026 at 5:42 AM
Reposted by Shade 5
Spending the next year commenting, "who's watching this in 2026" on every YouTube video.
January 1, 2026 at 1:30 PM
Reposted by Shade 5
Alvin and the Chipmunks voice: 🎵 Christmas, Christmastime is near
Time for drugs and time for fear 🎶
December 15, 2025 at 1:30 PM
Reposted by Shade 5
Who am I dropping these balls on at midnight?
January 1, 2026 at 5:37 AM
Reposted by Shade 5
Starting at 11:58 I will be facing east so that my wiener will technically get to 2026 first.
January 1, 2026 at 4:34 AM
Reposted by Shade 5
They should make midnight earlier
January 1, 2026 at 8:06 AM
Reposted by Shade 5
I don’t mean to brag, but I haven’t deactivated in months
January 4, 2026 at 1:33 AM
Reposted by Shade 5
Resolved: I will be making no resolutions.
December 25, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Reposted by Shade 5
jeez nobody knows how to
take a joke at this funeral
January 4, 2026 at 1:30 AM
Reposted by Shade 5
We choose to go to the moon and do these other things not because they are easy but because I am hard.
January 4, 2026 at 12:17 AM