Damnit Janet
@damnitjanet.bsky.social
In my napping era
Scottish and Queer | she/her
My shitshow: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:t3dajzevhocfddfzczceizlp/feed/aaaoojl75k4ve
Scottish and Queer | she/her
My shitshow: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:t3dajzevhocfddfzczceizlp/feed/aaaoojl75k4ve
Pinned
Damnit Janet
@damnitjanet.bsky.social
· Dec 29
Ran out of dips before chips so that'll be dinner ruined
Reposted by Damnit Janet
Why even bother questioning me on my bird knowledge if, not pausing for an answer, you will loudly insist that EVERYBODY has heard about the bird?
January 4, 2026 at 1:29 AM
Why even bother questioning me on my bird knowledge if, not pausing for an answer, you will loudly insist that EVERYBODY has heard about the bird?
Reposted by Damnit Janet
I want to be muzzled at all times like Hannibal Lecter so people are too afraid to talk to me.
January 4, 2026 at 2:20 AM
I want to be muzzled at all times like Hannibal Lecter so people are too afraid to talk to me.
Reposted by Damnit Janet
sex with me is like bowling. there’s a lot of drinking and cursing. sticking your fingers in weird holes. you have to rent shoes
January 4, 2026 at 5:04 AM
sex with me is like bowling. there’s a lot of drinking and cursing. sticking your fingers in weird holes. you have to rent shoes
Reposted by Damnit Janet
*christmas eve. i’m sitting in front of the fireplace with the grandchildren telling them the story about the marriage of elizabeth taylor & larry fortensky when i suddenly stop & look them all dead in the eyes*
do any of you have around seventeen thousand dollars i can borrow?
do any of you have around seventeen thousand dollars i can borrow?
January 4, 2026 at 6:06 AM
*christmas eve. i’m sitting in front of the fireplace with the grandchildren telling them the story about the marriage of elizabeth taylor & larry fortensky when i suddenly stop & look them all dead in the eyes*
do any of you have around seventeen thousand dollars i can borrow?
do any of you have around seventeen thousand dollars i can borrow?
Reposted by Damnit Janet
messages from my dad are either barely intelligible (because he is old and does not understand how to put together a text that makes sense), or this
January 4, 2026 at 6:42 AM
messages from my dad are either barely intelligible (because he is old and does not understand how to put together a text that makes sense), or this
Reposted by Damnit Janet
Looks like my resolution to stop being batshit crazy was a non-starter.
January 4, 2026 at 7:22 AM
Looks like my resolution to stop being batshit crazy was a non-starter.
Reposted by Damnit Janet
Making an impression on sand, it's not as just sitting in the sun with your resume as it seems. Your qualifications may actually become finer than sand if you're weather experienced so be sure to talk down silt
January 4, 2026 at 5:46 AM
Making an impression on sand, it's not as just sitting in the sun with your resume as it seems. Your qualifications may actually become finer than sand if you're weather experienced so be sure to talk down silt
Reposted by Damnit Janet
if you’re mentally exhausted it’s bc you’ve been paying attention
January 3, 2026 at 3:14 PM
if you’re mentally exhausted it’s bc you’ve been paying attention
Reposted by Damnit Janet
I used to think the adults in the room would at some point check his baser instincts. I was wrong. Care for a Tums?
January 3, 2026 at 5:17 PM
I used to think the adults in the room would at some point check his baser instincts. I was wrong. Care for a Tums?
Reposted by Damnit Janet
Don’t be sad I’ve gotten myself a juicer do you want some juice
January 2, 2026 at 5:06 PM
Don’t be sad I’ve gotten myself a juicer do you want some juice
Reposted by Damnit Janet
Replying back to all Gen Z this year “you sure can!” every time they say “I literally can’t”
January 2, 2026 at 3:50 PM
Replying back to all Gen Z this year “you sure can!” every time they say “I literally can’t”
Reposted by Damnit Janet
Someone took a vow of celibacy at the zoo after claiming to see a sign that said "DO NOT FEED THE LOINS".
January 2, 2026 at 7:35 AM
Someone took a vow of celibacy at the zoo after claiming to see a sign that said "DO NOT FEED THE LOINS".
Reposted by Damnit Janet
January 3rd is always drei January in Germany.
January 3, 2026 at 8:42 PM
January 3rd is always drei January in Germany.
Reposted by Damnit Janet
If you aren't repeatedly measuring the dimensions of the room and blacking out the windows with newspaper to the hum of TV static while scribbling runes on the walls with ichor and UV paint, you aren't paying attention.
March 15, 2025 at 6:22 PM
If you aren't repeatedly measuring the dimensions of the room and blacking out the windows with newspaper to the hum of TV static while scribbling runes on the walls with ichor and UV paint, you aren't paying attention.
Reposted by Damnit Janet
don't shame my cope
January 3, 2026 at 9:26 PM
don't shame my cope
Reposted by Damnit Janet
My bugout bag is just some Cheetos, a theremin and 30 hits of acid.
December 13, 2025 at 12:34 AM
My bugout bag is just some Cheetos, a theremin and 30 hits of acid.
Reposted by Damnit Janet
Reposted by Damnit Janet
"Kites tied to the arms of the gesturing at everything!" I cry lightly as I leap to battle the air between the roof and the sideyard
January 3, 2026 at 7:33 PM
"Kites tied to the arms of the gesturing at everything!" I cry lightly as I leap to battle the air between the roof and the sideyard
Reposted by Damnit Janet
Not enough has been written about Schrödinger’s assistant, Otto.
January 3, 2026 at 2:20 PM
Not enough has been written about Schrödinger’s assistant, Otto.
Reposted by Damnit Janet
The only ppl getting raptured are the ones that left Britney Spears alone.
January 3, 2026 at 2:30 PM
The only ppl getting raptured are the ones that left Britney Spears alone.
Reposted by Damnit Janet
Almost like the FIFA peace prize meant nothing
January 3, 2026 at 3:28 PM
Almost like the FIFA peace prize meant nothing
Reposted by Damnit Janet
Maybe if I go back to sleep and give reality a chance to be less stupid that'll work out when I wake up again
January 3, 2026 at 4:09 PM
Maybe if I go back to sleep and give reality a chance to be less stupid that'll work out when I wake up again
Reposted by Damnit Janet
My resolution to be the coziest person in every room is going very well
January 3, 2026 at 4:56 PM
My resolution to be the coziest person in every room is going very well
Reposted by Damnit Janet
a dude i’m talking to got a tortoise as a pet so now he gets to see my boobs.
January 3, 2026 at 6:08 PM
a dude i’m talking to got a tortoise as a pet so now he gets to see my boobs.