Leaving a warm bed on a cold day is a deadly sin like im gonna die if i do it
November 11, 2025 at 11:51 AM
Leaving a warm bed on a cold day is a deadly sin like im gonna die if i do it
Kids will smile so hard at you with an entire mouth of missing teeth & I love that so much for them.
November 11, 2025 at 11:42 AM
Kids will smile so hard at you with an entire mouth of missing teeth & I love that so much for them.
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
As a Mass guy, I envy the way the word ‘holler’ rolls off the tongue of someone from West Virginia or Kentucky. Up here, we say ‘a chucklefuck just left the packie and whipped 10 losing scratch tickets into the ditch – or holler – next to the Dunks’
November 10, 2025 at 7:24 PM
As a Mass guy, I envy the way the word ‘holler’ rolls off the tongue of someone from West Virginia or Kentucky. Up here, we say ‘a chucklefuck just left the packie and whipped 10 losing scratch tickets into the ditch – or holler – next to the Dunks’
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
I've never been a stand up comedian but I doubt the toughest room would be as bad as my daughter when I'm trying to get her out of bed, fed and dressed on Monday mornings
November 10, 2025 at 1:29 PM
I've never been a stand up comedian but I doubt the toughest room would be as bad as my daughter when I'm trying to get her out of bed, fed and dressed on Monday mornings
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
He would ALWAYS organize his balls in a row for us. Play was too important to leave to chance. He’d be sleeping now, recharging for the next toss or swim or wrestle or leap. He was a pure and loving and joyful soul in a hard world and even now, resting by the black cherry tree, he teaches us.
November 10, 2025 at 3:31 PM
He would ALWAYS organize his balls in a row for us. Play was too important to leave to chance. He’d be sleeping now, recharging for the next toss or swim or wrestle or leap. He was a pure and loving and joyful soul in a hard world and even now, resting by the black cherry tree, he teaches us.
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
warby parker sounds like an asshole kid at a boarding school
November 9, 2025 at 6:39 PM
warby parker sounds like an asshole kid at a boarding school
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
Don’t make me per my last email you
November 10, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Don’t make me per my last email you
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
Honestly I’m still sore from the monster mash.
November 10, 2025 at 2:09 PM
Honestly I’m still sore from the monster mash.
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
Putting "in loving memory of times gone by" on all rear windows that face vintage racecar crash stock footage
November 10, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Putting "in loving memory of times gone by" on all rear windows that face vintage racecar crash stock footage
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
My boy would have been 11 today and it’s now been two months without him. It hasn’t gotten a whole lot easier yet. ♥️
November 10, 2025 at 5:39 PM
My boy would have been 11 today and it’s now been two months without him. It hasn’t gotten a whole lot easier yet. ♥️
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
I find it really difficult to pay prolonged attention to you when you flicker in and out of this dimension like that.
November 10, 2025 at 9:24 PM
I find it really difficult to pay prolonged attention to you when you flicker in and out of this dimension like that.
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
just texted the wrong person, good thing i don't have anything important, delicate, or romantic going on
November 10, 2025 at 8:34 PM
just texted the wrong person, good thing i don't have anything important, delicate, or romantic going on
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
No passport needed to get into Italy, just a stylishly knotted scarf.
May 16, 2025 at 7:29 PM
No passport needed to get into Italy, just a stylishly knotted scarf.
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
The overnight process failed and we will need to apply the self loathing manually today.
November 10, 2025 at 6:07 PM
The overnight process failed and we will need to apply the self loathing manually today.
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
Went outside and had to remind myself that this would actually be a pretty nice day if we lived in Siberia.
November 10, 2025 at 5:51 PM
Went outside and had to remind myself that this would actually be a pretty nice day if we lived in Siberia.
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
“It’s a dog door, a DOG door. Now, one more time, what are you?”
[sigh] “I’m a horse.”
“That’s right Jim, you’re a horse.”
[sigh] “I’m a horse.”
“That’s right Jim, you’re a horse.”
November 10, 2025 at 5:15 PM
“It’s a dog door, a DOG door. Now, one more time, what are you?”
[sigh] “I’m a horse.”
“That’s right Jim, you’re a horse.”
[sigh] “I’m a horse.”
“That’s right Jim, you’re a horse.”
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
what if u exploded a dracula then sowed a flesh hunk onto a frankenstein what then
November 10, 2025 at 11:15 PM
what if u exploded a dracula then sowed a flesh hunk onto a frankenstein what then
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
I don’t always like the music in the noise though
November 10, 2025 at 11:06 PM
I don’t always like the music in the noise though
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
Anytime anyone whips out their phone to show you any pic or video, blurt "I fucking LOVE Herzog's early shit. Classic, man!" as it begins. Then walk away with purpose.
November 10, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Anytime anyone whips out their phone to show you any pic or video, blurt "I fucking LOVE Herzog's early shit. Classic, man!" as it begins. Then walk away with purpose.
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
Any time I don’t know the answer to a question, I say “the surgeon was the boy’s mother” just in case
November 11, 2025 at 12:46 AM
Any time I don’t know the answer to a question, I say “the surgeon was the boy’s mother” just in case
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
Unlike the competitors, our holiday puppy chow is made with real Purina brand Puppy Chow because we care.
November 11, 2025 at 3:23 AM
Unlike the competitors, our holiday puppy chow is made with real Purina brand Puppy Chow because we care.
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
My farm is almost too successful. It's taking up a lot of the grass slots we have and there's not much more room for the actual harvesters themselves. It'll prove to be useful for the sustenance situation but I'm scared it won't be as compact as advertised
November 11, 2025 at 3:47 AM
My farm is almost too successful. It's taking up a lot of the grass slots we have and there's not much more room for the actual harvesters themselves. It'll prove to be useful for the sustenance situation but I'm scared it won't be as compact as advertised
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
You can almost believe it was accidental
November 11, 2025 at 4:02 AM
You can almost believe it was accidental
Reposted by Astr0z0mbreez
french fries and gravy
November 11, 2025 at 3:45 AM
french fries and gravy