Julie Lavender Menace
@2tickytacky.bsky.social
🔵Banger skeet writer
🔵Top 10 blood donor in Pannonica County
🔵Saving souls, one homeless orphan kitten at a time.
I'm not Lisa. My name is Julie 🏳️⚧️. she/her
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaabsfrnzo2wy
🔵Top 10 blood donor in Pannonica County
🔵Saving souls, one homeless orphan kitten at a time.
I'm not Lisa. My name is Julie 🏳️⚧️. she/her
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaabsfrnzo2wy
Pinned
Now, a message from Rev. Thurl H. "Skeet" Ravenscrof:
Somebody stole the cherry off my banana split. I can't do Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor today. God bless.
Somebody stole the cherry off my banana split. I can't do Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor today. God bless.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
possessed by the spirit inside this Pringle’s can
December 29, 2025 at 4:36 PM
possessed by the spirit inside this Pringle’s can
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
I left my heart someplace I can’t find it and I feel fiiiiinnne
December 30, 2025 at 12:52 AM
I left my heart someplace I can’t find it and I feel fiiiiinnne
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
sitting on the floor and surrounding myself with dolls and soft toys for the rest of the year, like I did in my days of yore
December 30, 2025 at 12:56 PM
sitting on the floor and surrounding myself with dolls and soft toys for the rest of the year, like I did in my days of yore
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Googling "how to care about my own wellbeing and appearance" and just hitting "I'm feeling lucky"
December 27, 2025 at 11:31 PM
Googling "how to care about my own wellbeing and appearance" and just hitting "I'm feeling lucky"
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Less than 36 hours left to fulfill my 2025 resolution of satisfying a hot chick with a fetish for killing guys with sex. It's not looking good 😔
December 30, 2025 at 1:57 PM
Less than 36 hours left to fulfill my 2025 resolution of satisfying a hot chick with a fetish for killing guys with sex. It's not looking good 😔
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
What idiot called it "having sex at midnight on new year's eve" when Auld Bang Syne was right there?
December 30, 2025 at 2:30 PM
What idiot called it "having sex at midnight on new year's eve" when Auld Bang Syne was right there?
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Somewhere in my house is a beeping device with infinite battery life and a personal vendetta.
December 30, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Somewhere in my house is a beeping device with infinite battery life and a personal vendetta.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
All these video games they advertise on YouTube? I just saw one where you have to figure out a non-player character's taxes while zombies claw at the door. They're not even MY character's taxes!
December 30, 2025 at 4:50 AM
All these video games they advertise on YouTube? I just saw one where you have to figure out a non-player character's taxes while zombies claw at the door. They're not even MY character's taxes!
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Who called it “wintry mix” instead of “wet hate.”
December 30, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Who called it “wintry mix” instead of “wet hate.”
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
New Year's resolutions don't have to be about socially acceptable change.
Break the mould: resolve to become a troll, or to gain 10kg at the doughnut shop.
Break the mould: resolve to become a troll, or to gain 10kg at the doughnut shop.
December 30, 2025 at 3:13 PM
New Year's resolutions don't have to be about socially acceptable change.
Break the mould: resolve to become a troll, or to gain 10kg at the doughnut shop.
Break the mould: resolve to become a troll, or to gain 10kg at the doughnut shop.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
My New Year's resolution is to keep stiring glasses of ice tea stuffed with too much ice until ALL of the sugar at the bottom is dissolved and not just give up like a damn pussy.
December 30, 2025 at 5:00 AM
My New Year's resolution is to keep stiring glasses of ice tea stuffed with too much ice until ALL of the sugar at the bottom is dissolved and not just give up like a damn pussy.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
I can't tell you which streets will be closed for the Mummers Parade. Because mum's the word.
December 30, 2025 at 2:46 PM
I can't tell you which streets will be closed for the Mummers Parade. Because mum's the word.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
They need to invent a band aid that won’t get in the way when you’re jerking it.
December 30, 2025 at 3:45 PM
They need to invent a band aid that won’t get in the way when you’re jerking it.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
I’m sorry, but when Funiculì, Funiculà comes on, I’m gonna just start fuckin shit up—I’m gonna start a mosh pit
December 30, 2025 at 3:14 PM
I’m sorry, but when Funiculì, Funiculà comes on, I’m gonna just start fuckin shit up—I’m gonna start a mosh pit
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
When someone's nice to me for no apparent reason
December 30, 2025 at 3:20 PM
When someone's nice to me for no apparent reason
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
I often wonder if Balzac would’ve had quite such a misplaced sense of arrogance and his own self-worth had he known that his name basically translates as ‘testicle receptacle’.
December 30, 2025 at 2:11 PM
I often wonder if Balzac would’ve had quite such a misplaced sense of arrogance and his own self-worth had he known that his name basically translates as ‘testicle receptacle’.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
I’ll miss entire plot twists doomscrolling during a recorded TV program, but I always fast forward through the commercials.
I’ll be damned if I accidentally absorb a Buick ad.
I’ll be damned if I accidentally absorb a Buick ad.
December 30, 2025 at 3:50 PM
I’ll miss entire plot twists doomscrolling during a recorded TV program, but I always fast forward through the commercials.
I’ll be damned if I accidentally absorb a Buick ad.
I’ll be damned if I accidentally absorb a Buick ad.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Back in my tough love we had to fight the happy people into being happier by doing these suffering bits "I'm not suffering just because you are in fact I kinda like it" and then we'd be scarred strong for winter
December 30, 2025 at 5:50 AM
Back in my tough love we had to fight the happy people into being happier by doing these suffering bits "I'm not suffering just because you are in fact I kinda like it" and then we'd be scarred strong for winter
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
I recently discovered I have a random blonde hair growing directly outta the center of my forehead head so yes actually I am a unicorn
December 30, 2025 at 3:37 PM
I recently discovered I have a random blonde hair growing directly outta the center of my forehead head so yes actually I am a unicorn
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Upon death, mimes are seldom cremated. Usually, their bodies are donated to silence.
December 30, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Upon death, mimes are seldom cremated. Usually, their bodies are donated to silence.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
my kink is kirk shaming
this is not what starfleet trained you for
this is not what starfleet trained you for
December 30, 2025 at 3:53 PM
my kink is kirk shaming
this is not what starfleet trained you for
this is not what starfleet trained you for
Pay attention to what you're reading in the want ads. I needed to burn down my business, but ended up with an arborist.
December 30, 2025 at 4:02 PM
Pay attention to what you're reading in the want ads. I needed to burn down my business, but ended up with an arborist.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
watch me catch this roadrunner
December 30, 2025 at 4:51 AM
watch me catch this roadrunner
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
me: please don’t judge me
four horsemen: *shrugging* it’s what we do
me: *laying naked in a tubful of hot dog water* oh well
four horsemen: *shrugging* it’s what we do
me: *laying naked in a tubful of hot dog water* oh well
December 29, 2025 at 2:53 PM
me: please don’t judge me
four horsemen: *shrugging* it’s what we do
me: *laying naked in a tubful of hot dog water* oh well
four horsemen: *shrugging* it’s what we do
me: *laying naked in a tubful of hot dog water* oh well
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
you: adorable and flirtatious
me:
me:
December 29, 2025 at 10:46 PM
you: adorable and flirtatious
me:
me: