Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
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2tickytacky.bsky.social
Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
@2tickytacky.bsky.social
🔵Banger skeet writer

🔵Top 10 blood donor in Pannonica County

🔵Saving souls, one homeless orphan kitten at a time.

I'm not Lisa. My name is Julie 🏳️‍⚧️. she/her

https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaabsfrnzo2wy
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Now, a message from Rev. Thurl H. "Skeet" Ravenscrof:

Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor. Welcome to the 2026 Winter RevLympics! Who will take the gold in tonight's frozen possum curling? Will the south side win again in the 1000 meter stolen car hood snow surf? God bless.
My YouTube algorithm is worried that I'm watching too much true crime and keeps sending me fluffy kittens.
February 15, 2026 at 8:44 PM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
my cousin never laughs at my “I fucked your mom” jokes
January 6, 2026 at 5:24 AM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
A guy at work was telling us all a story about his hot water heater. I chimed in that it’s actually called a water heater and that hot water wouldn’t need to be heated. No one ever sits with me at lunch.
February 2, 2026 at 4:35 AM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
After three months of throwing pumpkin seeds and putting out shiny bits, I give up; I’m too dumb for the crows to befriend
February 9, 2026 at 5:57 PM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
Drinking Taittinger whilst listening to Queen just to feel something.
February 15, 2026 at 1:39 AM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
ROSES ARE RED
VIOLENCE IS RED
EVERYTHING IS RED
AND OH MY GOD IS THAT VISCERA?
February 15, 2026 at 2:44 AM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
kinda sucks that there's only one day a year it's acceptable to put on a diaper and shoot arrows at people
February 15, 2026 at 4:07 AM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
Just remember kids, St. Valentine is also the patron saint of epilepsy and bee keeping. He could fuck your shit up more than you know.
February 15, 2026 at 4:46 AM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
A work of fiction on your sleeve. An open heart, a brave face, a quiet confidence. A nonfiction sleeve comes along and is real in a better, one sleeved shirt. "The cut off of my own jib! Come back I liked you"
February 15, 2026 at 5:47 AM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
‘a happy day and then you pay, and feel like shit the morning after’ 🎶🖤
February 15, 2026 at 12:59 PM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
I don't know who needs to hear this but if your car alarm has been going off outside my window for an hour could you please go fuck yourself immediately
February 15, 2026 at 1:30 PM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
Today, the only difference between my nightgown and a dress is underwear.
January 12, 2026 at 5:16 PM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
Stabbed me right in the retro
January 29, 2026 at 8:01 PM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
Just tried to type “Disney+” and was accurately corrected to “Dismay+”.
January 30, 2026 at 10:03 PM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
Don’t be lead by what you read — unless it’s by @merriam-webster.com:
'Lead' and 'read' rhyme.

Unless you're saying 'lead' and 'read.'

But also 'lead' and 'read' rhyme.
February 13, 2026 at 3:17 PM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
I sent you an incomprehensible email

Pleasures pond
I know I'm awful but fuuuuuhk 😵‍💫

Actual email from an employee at our local school district. The subject line was "Meteing with" the same person she's talking about here
February 11, 2026 at 9:07 PM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
Love it when non-profits text or email me 'LAST CHANCE!" like they won't take my money next week
February 11, 2026 at 7:11 PM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
Wishing I could go to my kid's high school band concert without having to see anyone
February 11, 2026 at 11:10 PM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
How does each day distinguish themself from the other without recognition of the one before and acceptance of all of them heretowith and off we go again together?
January 30, 2026 at 7:12 AM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
City of Love
February 14, 2026 at 10:34 PM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
I need more time to do all the nothing I want.
February 14, 2026 at 10:47 PM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
The fact that I got an email stating new activity in my patient portal sounds both dirty and frightening.
February 1, 2026 at 11:29 PM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
I only pay attention to prescription drug ads so I can critique how well the actors clothing and accessories match the product.
February 5, 2026 at 12:30 AM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
Although this may appear self explanatory, I still have questions.
February 14, 2026 at 12:01 AM
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace 🏳️‍⚧️
we have arrived at my favorite time of day
It’s called fuck this shit o’clock
February 10, 2026 at 11:17 PM