Natty Lumpo
@nattylumpo.bsky.social
We should have been a pair of ragged brahs
Rizzing across the floors of silent seize.
Rizzing across the floors of silent seize.
Reposted by Natty Lumpo
It's nice to finally see some truth in advertising.
November 19, 2025 at 8:47 PM
It's nice to finally see some truth in advertising.
A retired coworker came back for a visit after a decade and she's somehow morphed into Andrés Segovia and I've never been more turned on.
November 19, 2025 at 12:29 AM
A retired coworker came back for a visit after a decade and she's somehow morphed into Andrés Segovia and I've never been more turned on.
Reposted by Natty Lumpo
Before you dm me you need to understand that i eat bananas like corn cobs
November 18, 2025 at 7:06 PM
Before you dm me you need to understand that i eat bananas like corn cobs
Reposted by Natty Lumpo
Draw me like the bath you'll throw the toaster in
November 18, 2025 at 8:47 PM
Draw me like the bath you'll throw the toaster in
Reposted by Natty Lumpo
I visit these swans every late Oct and they’re like “ugh she’s here again”
I stay far from them. I am zoomed in on them. But they’re zoomed in on me as well and moving away 😭
🦢🦢🦢🦢
I stay far from them. I am zoomed in on them. But they’re zoomed in on me as well and moving away 😭
🦢🦢🦢🦢
November 14, 2025 at 5:31 PM
I visit these swans every late Oct and they’re like “ugh she’s here again”
I stay far from them. I am zoomed in on them. But they’re zoomed in on me as well and moving away 😭
🦢🦢🦢🦢
I stay far from them. I am zoomed in on them. But they’re zoomed in on me as well and moving away 😭
🦢🦢🦢🦢
Reposted by Natty Lumpo
Last February, Peter and his son split sections of a walnut log into pieces for a joint stool.
November 12, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Last February, Peter and his son split sections of a walnut log into pieces for a joint stool.
Reposted by Natty Lumpo
my incubus woke me up all night with his restless leg syndrome
October 28, 2025 at 4:11 PM
my incubus woke me up all night with his restless leg syndrome
Reposted by Natty Lumpo
a girl should not have to work if it’s misty. She should be allowed to wander the moors wailing as nature intended
November 12, 2024 at 7:42 PM
a girl should not have to work if it’s misty. She should be allowed to wander the moors wailing as nature intended
Reposted by Natty Lumpo
Any time I don’t know the answer to a question, I say “the surgeon was the boy’s mother” just in case
November 11, 2025 at 12:46 AM
Any time I don’t know the answer to a question, I say “the surgeon was the boy’s mother” just in case
This is what happens when a minor character from a Faulkner novel fucks a loggerhead turtle.
November 11, 2025 at 1:10 AM
This is what happens when a minor character from a Faulkner novel fucks a loggerhead turtle.
Reposted by Natty Lumpo
A company whose only two products are chunky rubber stamps that read either, “ENCHANTED,” or, “DISENCHANTED.”
November 9, 2025 at 4:25 PM
A company whose only two products are chunky rubber stamps that read either, “ENCHANTED,” or, “DISENCHANTED.”
Anytime anyone whips out their phone to show you any pic or video, blurt "I fucking LOVE Herzog's early shit. Classic, man!" as it begins. Then walk away with purpose.
November 10, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Anytime anyone whips out their phone to show you any pic or video, blurt "I fucking LOVE Herzog's early shit. Classic, man!" as it begins. Then walk away with purpose.
Reposted by Natty Lumpo
finishing school is a lot less sloppy than it sounds
November 10, 2025 at 10:00 PM
finishing school is a lot less sloppy than it sounds
Reposted by Natty Lumpo
Oh, you like pre-Knýtlinga Danish monarchs? Name three without naming Horik II or Bagsecg.
November 6, 2025 at 11:49 PM
Oh, you like pre-Knýtlinga Danish monarchs? Name three without naming Horik II or Bagsecg.
Reposted by Natty Lumpo
First person to shoot fish in a barrel: I have to tell others how easy this is
November 8, 2025 at 11:57 PM
First person to shoot fish in a barrel: I have to tell others how easy this is
Reposted by Natty Lumpo
Male pattern kindness
November 9, 2025 at 12:39 AM
Male pattern kindness
Me to my spouse in our 20s:
Do you want to try anal?
Me to my spouse in our 50s:
Do you want to try birdwatching?
Do you want to try anal?
Me to my spouse in our 50s:
Do you want to try birdwatching?
November 8, 2025 at 1:52 PM
Me to my spouse in our 20s:
Do you want to try anal?
Me to my spouse in our 50s:
Do you want to try birdwatching?
Do you want to try anal?
Me to my spouse in our 50s:
Do you want to try birdwatching?
Reposted by Natty Lumpo
Good morning to everyone except the man in the yellow Hazmat suit who's staring at me through the glass
November 8, 2025 at 1:45 PM
Good morning to everyone except the man in the yellow Hazmat suit who's staring at me through the glass
Reposted by Natty Lumpo
let the bedbugs bite
you deserve to feel something
you deserve to feel something
November 7, 2025 at 1:13 AM
let the bedbugs bite
you deserve to feel something
you deserve to feel something
Reposted by Natty Lumpo
Man, the lengths people will go to for a better spaghetti sauce.
November 5, 2025 at 1:13 AM
Man, the lengths people will go to for a better spaghetti sauce.
Reposted by Natty Lumpo
Still taking shit for wearing a BK crown to the No Kings rally but in fairness, it was my 56th birthday and also God appointed me his divine messenger on earth.
November 5, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Still taking shit for wearing a BK crown to the No Kings rally but in fairness, it was my 56th birthday and also God appointed me his divine messenger on earth.
Reposted by Natty Lumpo
WIFE: I’m leaving you
ME: because of my bird puns
WIFE: yes
ME: what’s the beak deal
WIFE: *has sex with my best friend in front of me*
ME: because of my bird puns
WIFE: yes
ME: what’s the beak deal
WIFE: *has sex with my best friend in front of me*
November 5, 2025 at 6:41 PM
WIFE: I’m leaving you
ME: because of my bird puns
WIFE: yes
ME: what’s the beak deal
WIFE: *has sex with my best friend in front of me*
ME: because of my bird puns
WIFE: yes
ME: what’s the beak deal
WIFE: *has sex with my best friend in front of me*
Reposted by Natty Lumpo
*walks into a Bath & Body Works* one working body please
November 5, 2025 at 7:15 PM
*walks into a Bath & Body Works* one working body please
Late night skeet circa 1603
who up tamin' they shrew rn?
shakin' my speare so hard bout to bard all over my folio
who up tamin' they shrew rn?
shakin' my speare so hard bout to bard all over my folio
November 5, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Late night skeet circa 1603
who up tamin' they shrew rn?
shakin' my speare so hard bout to bard all over my folio
who up tamin' they shrew rn?
shakin' my speare so hard bout to bard all over my folio
Reposted by Natty Lumpo
Gurrll let’s make this Hobby Lobby a Hobby Foyer
November 4, 2025 at 7:56 PM
Gurrll let’s make this Hobby Lobby a Hobby Foyer