Gian D’Oh
giandoh.bsky.social
Gian D’Oh
@giandoh.bsky.social
Pinned
This is the dumbest apocalypse.
Guurrll let’s make this courthouse a court home. Or a courtyard, maybe put a in a fire pit, a trellis — oooh! An outdoor pizza oven! You got any money? Also, can you say I was with you on the night of the 14th? Guurrll? GUURRLL?!
November 11, 2025 at 11:02 AM
The only inflation that’s down is among those guys who bought the knockoff Swedish penis pumps.
November 11, 2025 at 2:26 AM
Reposted by Gian D’Oh
I lost my virginity while playing Pitfall on Atari
November 11, 2025 at 1:29 AM
I’m not seeing a lot of fanfare on bluesky today about this, but we in the United States dodged a major fucking bullet today when the Supreme Court decided not to revisit gay marriage. This is a huge victory for decency. Worth celebrating!
November 11, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Reposted by Gian D’Oh
6:30 is the best time on a clock hands down
November 9, 2025 at 10:24 PM
Reposted by Gian D’Oh
ME: Whatcha doin?

WIFE: Watchin Dune.

ME: I asked you first, Sharon.
November 8, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Reposted by Gian D’Oh
A pair of those swinging, little gates like in courtrooms so no one can talk to me unless I've given them permission to approach the bench.
November 8, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Reposted by Gian D’Oh
Just took out the old putty from a pair of window sashes and I swear I could hear my shop-vac moaning
November 8, 2025 at 11:03 PM
To sleep, perchance to ream!
November 10, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Reposted by Gian D’Oh
[if Chuck Schumer replaced Liam Neeson in Taken]

CHUCK SCHUMER: [on phone] I don’t know who you are or what you want, but I will find you and I will help you kill my daughter
March 14, 2025 at 2:36 AM
Reposted by Gian D’Oh
"The electric lines represent the power of social injustices that I ache to destroy?"
"No babe. You just fuck shit up."
November 3, 2025 at 8:25 PM
Reposted by Gian D’Oh
Woke up at 5 to get an early start on being tired
November 9, 2025 at 12:17 PM
Reposted by Gian D’Oh
Turned over a new leaf and found an angry scorpion
November 9, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Reposted by Gian D’Oh
Eeyore just called and said we can’t hang out anymore cuz I’m too depressing.
November 7, 2025 at 2:26 PM
Reposted by Gian D’Oh
Him: Tell me something you’ve learned in the last six months.

Me: Jerking off with coconut oil is fuckin awesome.

Him: I don’t think you’re a good fit for this position.

Me: No problemo. But try it, seriously. Like, wow.
November 7, 2025 at 2:11 PM
Reposted by Gian D’Oh
why are they called underpants and not junk drawers
November 8, 2025 at 5:02 AM
Conjunction Junction, what’s your major malfunction?!

-Full Metal Schoolhouse
November 8, 2025 at 2:21 AM
I can’t figure out if things are the worst they’ve ever been or if everything has always consistently sucked but I was too high and drunk to notice.
November 7, 2025 at 9:18 PM
Hey guys the trillion dollar Elon pay package is fine because the fine print requires that he work 18 trillion hours to earn it.
November 7, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Reposted by Gian D’Oh
When CPAs break the law are they sent to accounty jail
November 7, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Yep, and gravity & a lack of wings are the only limiting factors on flying humans.
November 7, 2025 at 3:27 PM
I’m cool with No Nut November as long as it’s followed by Cummy Christmas and Jizzy January
November 6, 2025 at 7:33 PM
Reposted by Gian D’Oh
My dad : “the structure of discipline gives you the feelings of comfort and safety.”

Me: Tacos do the same thing.
November 5, 2025 at 7:06 AM
Reposted by Gian D’Oh
Adding myself to this thread so that I have media coverage.
November 6, 2025 at 7:27 PM
The best part of the government shutdown? Wannabe terrorists can’t flee the country because our air transport system is a total shitshow.
November 6, 2025 at 7:27 PM