Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
@hormonella.bsky.social
My body is not my temple
It’s more like my bar and grill
It’s more like my bar and grill
Pinned
Sure I’m an influencer, if bad influence counts.
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
BANANA POEM
Bananas are yellow
A tasty tube fruit
Yummy and boneless
In a tight yellow suit
Bananas with ice cream
Make my heart flutter
Elvis put them in sammies
With smooth peanut butter
They're healthy and filling
And favoured by monkeys
But eat em right quick
Or they get brown and funky
Bananas are yellow
A tasty tube fruit
Yummy and boneless
In a tight yellow suit
Bananas with ice cream
Make my heart flutter
Elvis put them in sammies
With smooth peanut butter
They're healthy and filling
And favoured by monkeys
But eat em right quick
Or they get brown and funky
February 5, 2026 at 3:04 AM
BANANA POEM
Bananas are yellow
A tasty tube fruit
Yummy and boneless
In a tight yellow suit
Bananas with ice cream
Make my heart flutter
Elvis put them in sammies
With smooth peanut butter
They're healthy and filling
And favoured by monkeys
But eat em right quick
Or they get brown and funky
Bananas are yellow
A tasty tube fruit
Yummy and boneless
In a tight yellow suit
Bananas with ice cream
Make my heart flutter
Elvis put them in sammies
With smooth peanut butter
They're healthy and filling
And favoured by monkeys
But eat em right quick
Or they get brown and funky
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
I think your dog would really like me
February 4, 2026 at 12:56 PM
I think your dog would really like me
I’m not always up this early but when I am I’m pissed as hell
February 4, 2026 at 1:22 PM
I’m not always up this early but when I am I’m pissed as hell
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
(maintaining eye contact while scraping the brussels sprouts you made me into the compost)
February 4, 2026 at 1:23 AM
(maintaining eye contact while scraping the brussels sprouts you made me into the compost)
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Call me Groundhog the way I open the door, look outside, say fuck that and head back to bed for another 6 weeks.
February 2, 2026 at 1:36 PM
Call me Groundhog the way I open the door, look outside, say fuck that and head back to bed for another 6 weeks.
I trust that groundhog more than I trust this administration
February 2, 2026 at 2:28 PM
I trust that groundhog more than I trust this administration
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Keep on rocking in the free world? Have you noticed what they've been doing to our free world?
January 31, 2026 at 10:12 PM
Keep on rocking in the free world? Have you noticed what they've been doing to our free world?
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Female dragonflies will fake their own death to avoid mating with an unwanted male and I for one am impressed by that kind of self care.
January 29, 2026 at 5:08 PM
Female dragonflies will fake their own death to avoid mating with an unwanted male and I for one am impressed by that kind of self care.
my dog has a cleaner mouth than I do and my dog eats shit
February 1, 2026 at 11:16 PM
my dog has a cleaner mouth than I do and my dog eats shit
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Next they'll be telling us Jesus didn't mean "all people"
January 25, 2026 at 4:41 PM
Next they'll be telling us Jesus didn't mean "all people"
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Her: I just want to be alone for a while.
Me: Here’s a ticket to the Melania movie.
Me: Here’s a ticket to the Melania movie.
January 31, 2026 at 5:30 AM
Her: I just want to be alone for a while.
Me: Here’s a ticket to the Melania movie.
Me: Here’s a ticket to the Melania movie.
eating chocolate because fuck February
February 1, 2026 at 2:26 PM
eating chocolate because fuck February
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
*seductively recedes into the nothingness
January 31, 2026 at 1:05 AM
*seductively recedes into the nothingness
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
We live on a 4.5 billion-year-old rock that's traveling 67,000 mph through space but I'm sure your latte is "the most amazing thing ever."
January 30, 2026 at 11:18 PM
We live on a 4.5 billion-year-old rock that's traveling 67,000 mph through space but I'm sure your latte is "the most amazing thing ever."
The Silver Alert is coming from inside The White House!
January 31, 2026 at 3:44 PM
The Silver Alert is coming from inside The White House!
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Closest I've ever been to being in a band is sitting with a group of friends looking in different directions while having a photo taken
January 30, 2026 at 8:04 AM
Closest I've ever been to being in a band is sitting with a group of friends looking in different directions while having a photo taken
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Each day, my mom made my homeschooling as close to a real school experience by shaking me down for lunch money.
January 30, 2026 at 6:37 PM
Each day, my mom made my homeschooling as close to a real school experience by shaking me down for lunch money.
disappointed to find that horsing around didn’t involve any equine characters
January 30, 2026 at 8:04 PM
disappointed to find that horsing around didn’t involve any equine characters
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Trump appears in the Epstein files more than he appears in Melania's movie.
January 29, 2026 at 2:03 PM
Trump appears in the Epstein files more than he appears in Melania's movie.
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
If you live in your car and you’re homesick, are you actually carsick?
January 29, 2026 at 11:43 AM
If you live in your car and you’re homesick, are you actually carsick?
woke up refreshed and ready to seize the day
and sarcastic as fuck
and sarcastic as fuck
January 29, 2026 at 1:58 PM
woke up refreshed and ready to seize the day
and sarcastic as fuck
and sarcastic as fuck
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
They should put Mickey Mouse hands on the doomsday clock to give the end of the world some much-needed whimsy
January 28, 2026 at 5:22 AM
They should put Mickey Mouse hands on the doomsday clock to give the end of the world some much-needed whimsy
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
I still don’t share my real thoughts with you all.
January 28, 2026 at 2:32 PM
I still don’t share my real thoughts with you all.
have you tried cranking up the Motown about it?
January 28, 2026 at 2:32 PM
have you tried cranking up the Motown about it?
Reposted by Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺
Constitutional lawyers are no match for constitutional liars.
January 28, 2026 at 2:22 PM
Constitutional lawyers are no match for constitutional liars.