𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
@qwertying.bsky.social
I write jokes people, not to be taken seriously. I administer involuntary nasal exorcisms.
♥️ My wife: @skedaddle74.bsky.social
🎉 My bangers: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:zlxnj6iqvkdlmoj6npjt2l4o/feed/aaaemekfmmumo
🚫Crypto 🚫Onlyfan 🚫Porn 🚫DM=Block
♥️ My wife: @skedaddle74.bsky.social
🎉 My bangers: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:zlxnj6iqvkdlmoj6npjt2l4o/feed/aaaemekfmmumo
🚫Crypto 🚫Onlyfan 🚫Porn 🚫DM=Block
Pinned
𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
@qwertying.bsky.social
· Feb 23
I don’t have regrets. I have a collection of poor decisions that I’ve rebranded as “life lessons.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
Brushing up on the Super Bowl so I can join in! Help appreciated.
February 8, 2026 at 5:25 PM
Brushing up on the Super Bowl so I can join in! Help appreciated.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
Sit beside me on a cloud and we'll dip our toes into the sky.
December 22, 2024 at 7:38 AM
Sit beside me on a cloud and we'll dip our toes into the sky.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
not having television, relying on all of you to keep me up to date on the Olympics...
more pole vaulting humor, please!
more pole vaulting humor, please!
February 8, 2026 at 8:26 PM
not having television, relying on all of you to keep me up to date on the Olympics...
more pole vaulting humor, please!
more pole vaulting humor, please!
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
today is my bsky anniversary pls tell me how good my account looks for its age
February 7, 2026 at 5:24 AM
today is my bsky anniversary pls tell me how good my account looks for its age
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
the secret to good shitposting is to manage expectations don’t post bangers all the time punctuate your timeline with a series of stinkers and one gleaming wonderful skeet that makes people gasp when they see it easy peasy
February 7, 2026 at 6:45 AM
the secret to good shitposting is to manage expectations don’t post bangers all the time punctuate your timeline with a series of stinkers and one gleaming wonderful skeet that makes people gasp when they see it easy peasy
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
I don't want to alarm anyone but the boogie hasn't jumped up in months
February 7, 2026 at 9:14 PM
I don't want to alarm anyone but the boogie hasn't jumped up in months
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
he's a 10 but he thinks flattery is what you serve food on
February 7, 2026 at 9:17 PM
he's a 10 but he thinks flattery is what you serve food on
Our Olympic gold medal is making it to the car without one of us saying, "I told you so."
February 8, 2026 at 5:00 PM
Our Olympic gold medal is making it to the car without one of us saying, "I told you so."
The fabric on those alpine ski racing suits. It’s engineered to be “slippery.” They’re basically wearing a human-sized condom.
February 8, 2026 at 4:49 PM
The fabric on those alpine ski racing suits. It’s engineered to be “slippery.” They’re basically wearing a human-sized condom.
You know the pairs skating lift where she’s balanced on his thigh? I wonder if she ever thought she was standing on his third leg?
February 8, 2026 at 4:46 PM
You know the pairs skating lift where she’s balanced on his thigh? I wonder if she ever thought she was standing on his third leg?
The way they massage those curling stones before a throw.
They're just... stroking this granite like it's a genie's lamp. It’s the most porn-like behaviour you’ll see on public TV.
They're just... stroking this granite like it's a genie's lamp. It’s the most porn-like behaviour you’ll see on public TV.
February 8, 2026 at 4:41 PM
The way they massage those curling stones before a throw.
They're just... stroking this granite like it's a genie's lamp. It’s the most porn-like behaviour you’ll see on public TV.
They're just... stroking this granite like it's a genie's lamp. It’s the most porn-like behaviour you’ll see on public TV.
The pairs skating. The trust involved. He’s just flinging her around like a human lawn dart.
Sighs, I love lawn darts. It always kept the population in check.
Sighs, I love lawn darts. It always kept the population in check.
February 8, 2026 at 4:36 PM
The pairs skating. The trust involved. He’s just flinging her around like a human lawn dart.
Sighs, I love lawn darts. It always kept the population in check.
Sighs, I love lawn darts. It always kept the population in check.
Welp… at least my name is nowhere to be found in the Epstein files.
But I’ll gladly sell my soul to the X-Files.
But I’ll gladly sell my soul to the X-Files.
February 8, 2026 at 4:12 PM
Welp… at least my name is nowhere to be found in the Epstein files.
But I’ll gladly sell my soul to the X-Files.
But I’ll gladly sell my soul to the X-Files.
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Or stare at the lemons while looking like a sour puss until someone else gets thirsty enough to do it.
Or stare at the lemons while looking like a sour puss until someone else gets thirsty enough to do it.
February 8, 2026 at 4:08 PM
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Or stare at the lemons while looking like a sour puss until someone else gets thirsty enough to do it.
Or stare at the lemons while looking like a sour puss until someone else gets thirsty enough to do it.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
Me, watching turkeys eat bird seed beneath our feeder: What do turkeys normally eat? The same thing as other birbs?
Rooster: Pizza Hut.
Rooster: Pizza Hut.
February 8, 2026 at 4:04 PM
Me, watching turkeys eat bird seed beneath our feeder: What do turkeys normally eat? The same thing as other birbs?
Rooster: Pizza Hut.
Rooster: Pizza Hut.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
i live in the pnw and just found out the seahawks are playing in the superbowl. i still hope bad bunny wins.
February 8, 2026 at 2:06 PM
i live in the pnw and just found out the seahawks are playing in the superbowl. i still hope bad bunny wins.
Some people hear "Where there's a will, there's a way."
I hear, "Where there's a will, there's a much easier way over here we didn't consider."
I hear, "Where there's a will, there's a much easier way over here we didn't consider."
February 8, 2026 at 3:24 PM
Some people hear "Where there's a will, there's a way."
I hear, "Where there's a will, there's a much easier way over here we didn't consider."
I hear, "Where there's a will, there's a much easier way over here we didn't consider."
My level of get-up-and-go is best described as got-up-and-went-back-to-bed.
February 8, 2026 at 3:22 PM
My level of get-up-and-go is best described as got-up-and-went-back-to-bed.
I don't get up in the morning thinking "I will conquer."
I get up thinking, "I will outlast my toaster.
I get up thinking, "I will outlast my toaster.
February 8, 2026 at 3:21 PM
I don't get up in the morning thinking "I will conquer."
I get up thinking, "I will outlast my toaster.
I get up thinking, "I will outlast my toaster.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
While I was preoccupied with the right side of my body falling apart, my sneaky left shoulder got away with some shenanigans of its own
February 8, 2026 at 6:33 AM
While I was preoccupied with the right side of my body falling apart, my sneaky left shoulder got away with some shenanigans of its own
I have the enthusiasm of a man who just found out the "easy-open" package requires a blowtorch and a prayer.
February 8, 2026 at 1:17 AM
I have the enthusiasm of a man who just found out the "easy-open" package requires a blowtorch and a prayer.
My personal motto is, "It could be worse." Usually followed by, "And given my luck, it will be in about two minutes."
February 8, 2026 at 1:14 AM
My personal motto is, "It could be worse." Usually followed by, "And given my luck, it will be in about two minutes."
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
I'm pretty sure I've used up my yearly quota of "I hate this place" just in the past month.
February 7, 2026 at 11:37 PM
I'm pretty sure I've used up my yearly quota of "I hate this place" just in the past month.
I let my guard down once at the gym. I picked up a medium-weight dumbbell. A guy built like the Hulk turned and nodded, “Feel the burn, brother.”
—I did feel the burn. I've pulled a muscle nodding back.
—I did feel the burn. I've pulled a muscle nodding back.
February 8, 2026 at 12:16 AM
I let my guard down once at the gym. I picked up a medium-weight dumbbell. A guy built like the Hulk turned and nodded, “Feel the burn, brother.”
—I did feel the burn. I've pulled a muscle nodding back.
—I did feel the burn. I've pulled a muscle nodding back.