𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
@qwertying.bsky.social
I write jokes people, not to be taken seriously. I administer involuntary nasal exorcisms.
♥️ My wife: @skedaddle74.bsky.social
🎉 My bangers: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:zlxnj6iqvkdlmoj6npjt2l4o/feed/aaaemekfmmumo
🚫Crypto 🚫Onlyfan 🚫Porn 🚫DM=Block
♥️ My wife: @skedaddle74.bsky.social
🎉 My bangers: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:zlxnj6iqvkdlmoj6npjt2l4o/feed/aaaemekfmmumo
🚫Crypto 🚫Onlyfan 🚫Porn 🚫DM=Block
Pinned
𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
@qwertying.bsky.social
· Feb 23
I don’t have regrets. I have a collection of poor decisions that I’ve rebranded as “life lessons.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
While I was preoccupied with the right side of my body falling apart, my sneaky left shoulder got away with some shenanigans of its own
February 8, 2026 at 6:33 AM
While I was preoccupied with the right side of my body falling apart, my sneaky left shoulder got away with some shenanigans of its own
I have the enthusiasm of a man who just found out the "easy-open" package requires a blowtorch and a prayer.
February 8, 2026 at 1:17 AM
I have the enthusiasm of a man who just found out the "easy-open" package requires a blowtorch and a prayer.
My personal motto is, "It could be worse." Usually followed by, "And given my luck, it will be in about two minutes."
February 8, 2026 at 1:14 AM
My personal motto is, "It could be worse." Usually followed by, "And given my luck, it will be in about two minutes."
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
I'm pretty sure I've used up my yearly quota of "I hate this place" just in the past month.
February 7, 2026 at 11:37 PM
I'm pretty sure I've used up my yearly quota of "I hate this place" just in the past month.
I let my guard down once at the gym. I picked up a medium-weight dumbbell. A guy built like the Hulk turned and nodded, “Feel the burn, brother.”
—I did feel the burn. I've pulled a muscle nodding back.
—I did feel the burn. I've pulled a muscle nodding back.
February 8, 2026 at 12:16 AM
I let my guard down once at the gym. I picked up a medium-weight dumbbell. A guy built like the Hulk turned and nodded, “Feel the burn, brother.”
—I did feel the burn. I've pulled a muscle nodding back.
—I did feel the burn. I've pulled a muscle nodding back.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
Free your mind. Stop following and plug me with wild reckless abandon by reposting me to make me feel alive.
Thank you! ☺️
Thank you! ☺️
February 7, 2026 at 10:23 PM
Free your mind. Stop following and plug me with wild reckless abandon by reposting me to make me feel alive.
Thank you! ☺️
Thank you! ☺️
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
So, has the staffer who posted that racist meme been fired, or is he still the President of the United States?
February 7, 2026 at 10:55 PM
So, has the staffer who posted that racist meme been fired, or is he still the President of the United States?
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
I’m saving money this year by stealing
February 7, 2026 at 10:59 PM
I’m saving money this year by stealing
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
I never “play it cool,” I just AM cool
And then when I’m not, I’m really really not.
And then when I’m not, I’m really really not.
February 7, 2026 at 11:00 PM
I never “play it cool,” I just AM cool
And then when I’m not, I’m really really not.
And then when I’m not, I’m really really not.
It's the pathetic little inside voice that says, "The world isn't ready for your shirtless karaoke version of My Heart Will Go On."
—And you know what? He's right.
—And you know what? He's right.
February 7, 2026 at 11:39 PM
It's the pathetic little inside voice that says, "The world isn't ready for your shirtless karaoke version of My Heart Will Go On."
—And you know what? He's right.
—And you know what? He's right.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
I will stab a man with a fork.
February 7, 2026 at 10:34 PM
I will stab a man with a fork.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
A good friend has hit a midlife crisis and he is hooked on Jordan Peterson and Joe Rogan. I wish it had been something less destructive like hookers and cocaine.
February 7, 2026 at 3:05 PM
A good friend has hit a midlife crisis and he is hooked on Jordan Peterson and Joe Rogan. I wish it had been something less destructive like hookers and cocaine.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
We are witnessing a global collapse of self-destruction wrought by the failure of patriarchy, unfettered capitalism and religion.
Organize and prepare accordingly.
Organize and prepare accordingly.
February 7, 2026 at 4:10 PM
We are witnessing a global collapse of self-destruction wrought by the failure of patriarchy, unfettered capitalism and religion.
Organize and prepare accordingly.
Organize and prepare accordingly.
You know that halftime show they put on during the Super Bowl? That’s not a football show. It’s a fever dream your grandpa has after eating expired seven-layer dip.
Hearing grandpa shout, “Free the nipple!” It is the highlight of the game.
Hearing grandpa shout, “Free the nipple!” It is the highlight of the game.
February 7, 2026 at 4:00 PM
You know that halftime show they put on during the Super Bowl? That’s not a football show. It’s a fever dream your grandpa has after eating expired seven-layer dip.
Hearing grandpa shout, “Free the nipple!” It is the highlight of the game.
Hearing grandpa shout, “Free the nipple!” It is the highlight of the game.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
You know you’re winning Bluesky when you wake up to accounts blocking you.
February 7, 2026 at 3:14 PM
You know you’re winning Bluesky when you wake up to accounts blocking you.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
It's really quite impressive how I can become an expert judge of just about any Olympic sport after watching it for only 10 minutes.
February 7, 2026 at 3:21 PM
It's really quite impressive how I can become an expert judge of just about any Olympic sport after watching it for only 10 minutes.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
People think I'm clairvoyant, but the truth is, I'm just really, really farsighted
February 7, 2026 at 3:38 PM
People think I'm clairvoyant, but the truth is, I'm just really, really farsighted
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
the lost boys, but just my mismatched socks because one was lost in the dryer
February 7, 2026 at 3:41 PM
the lost boys, but just my mismatched socks because one was lost in the dryer
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
don’t use all your good times up when you’re young
February 6, 2026 at 5:34 AM
don’t use all your good times up when you’re young
The ski suits are so aerodynamic that they have more seams than a baseball.
—One stray thread and you go from Olympic hopeful to a censored naked human toboggan.
#WinterOlympics
—One stray thread and you go from Olympic hopeful to a censored naked human toboggan.
#WinterOlympics
February 7, 2026 at 3:43 PM
The ski suits are so aerodynamic that they have more seams than a baseball.
—One stray thread and you go from Olympic hopeful to a censored naked human toboggan.
#WinterOlympics
—One stray thread and you go from Olympic hopeful to a censored naked human toboggan.
#WinterOlympics
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
Computer: your password has been compromised
Me: so has the presidency of the United States. im sure everything will be fine
Me: so has the presidency of the United States. im sure everything will be fine
February 7, 2026 at 2:54 PM
Computer: your password has been compromised
Me: so has the presidency of the United States. im sure everything will be fine
Me: so has the presidency of the United States. im sure everything will be fine
Reposted by 𝕋𝕀𝕄 🇨🇦
I don’t know how to tell if someone blocked me and I don’t care
their problem, not mine
their problem, not mine
February 7, 2026 at 3:30 PM
I don’t know how to tell if someone blocked me and I don’t care
their problem, not mine
their problem, not mine
The opening ceremonies. It's a three-hour 100-million-dollar show where a cold country tries to convince the world it has culture.
—"Behold! A thousand people dressed as ice crystals, which looks like what we scrape off our windshields for free!”
#WinterOlympics
—"Behold! A thousand people dressed as ice crystals, which looks like what we scrape off our windshields for free!”
#WinterOlympics
February 7, 2026 at 3:33 PM
The opening ceremonies. It's a three-hour 100-million-dollar show where a cold country tries to convince the world it has culture.
—"Behold! A thousand people dressed as ice crystals, which looks like what we scrape off our windshields for free!”
#WinterOlympics
—"Behold! A thousand people dressed as ice crystals, which looks like what we scrape off our windshields for free!”
#WinterOlympics
The parade of nations. All the athletes are bundled up in their designer parkas, waving. The ones from tropical countries look absolutely horrified.
You can see the guy from Jamaica thinking, "Mon, this was not in the brochure. This is effing cold!!"
#WinterOlympics
You can see the guy from Jamaica thinking, "Mon, this was not in the brochure. This is effing cold!!"
#WinterOlympics
February 7, 2026 at 3:26 PM
The parade of nations. All the athletes are bundled up in their designer parkas, waving. The ones from tropical countries look absolutely horrified.
You can see the guy from Jamaica thinking, "Mon, this was not in the brochure. This is effing cold!!"
#WinterOlympics
You can see the guy from Jamaica thinking, "Mon, this was not in the brochure. This is effing cold!!"
#WinterOlympics
The spectacle of it all. We sit in our warm homes, eating day old pizza, watching people from warm countries voluntarily freeze themselves for our amusement.
And we judge their form. Humanity's great.
#WinterOlympics
And we judge their form. Humanity's great.
#WinterOlympics
February 7, 2026 at 3:19 PM
The spectacle of it all. We sit in our warm homes, eating day old pizza, watching people from warm countries voluntarily freeze themselves for our amusement.
And we judge their form. Humanity's great.
#WinterOlympics
And we judge their form. Humanity's great.
#WinterOlympics