𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦
@qwertying.bsky.social
I write jokes people, not to be taken seriously. I administer involuntary nasal exorcisms.
♥️ My wife: @skedaddle74.bsky.social
🎉 My bangers: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:zlxnj6iqvkdlmoj6npjt2l4o/feed/aaaemekfmmumo
🚫Crypto 🚫Onlyfan 🚫Porn 🚫DM=Block
♥️ My wife: @skedaddle74.bsky.social
🎉 My bangers: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:zlxnj6iqvkdlmoj6npjt2l4o/feed/aaaemekfmmumo
🚫Crypto 🚫Onlyfan 🚫Porn 🚫DM=Block
Pinned
Today is Remembrance day, I think about the soldiers who fought in the mud and the cold.
Then I think about how I complained this morning because my coffee was only warm. My problems are so embarrassingly small.
Then I think about how I complained this morning because my coffee was only warm. My problems are so embarrassingly small.
I wear a red flower on my lapel. It’s a potent symbol of remembrance, and also a reminder that if I get stabbed by the pin, my sacrifice will be a fraction of what those poor bastards went through.
November 11, 2025 at 12:01 PM
I wear a red flower on my lapel. It’s a potent symbol of remembrance, and also a reminder that if I get stabbed by the pin, my sacrifice will be a fraction of what those poor bastards went through.
Today is Remembrance day, I think about the soldiers who fought in the mud and the cold.
Then I think about how I complained this morning because my coffee was only warm. My problems are so embarrassingly small.
Then I think about how I complained this morning because my coffee was only warm. My problems are so embarrassingly small.
November 11, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Today is Remembrance day, I think about the soldiers who fought in the mud and the cold.
Then I think about how I complained this morning because my coffee was only warm. My problems are so embarrassingly small.
Then I think about how I complained this morning because my coffee was only warm. My problems are so embarrassingly small.
I don't need a theoretical bridge in spacetime. I already have a portal that instantly transports my dinner to the toilet.
My doctor calls it irritable bowel syndrome.
My doctor calls it irritable bowel syndrome.
November 11, 2025 at 11:55 AM
I don't need a theoretical bridge in spacetime. I already have a portal that instantly transports my dinner to the toilet.
My doctor calls it irritable bowel syndrome.
My doctor calls it irritable bowel syndrome.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦
Calgon never took me away
November 11, 2025 at 10:35 AM
Calgon never took me away
Reposted by 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦
You know you're old when ''I have to go'' stops reffering to parties
November 11, 2025 at 9:58 AM
You know you're old when ''I have to go'' stops reffering to parties
Reposted by 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦
wow 3 funny people starter packs and I didn’t make any of them might become my evil origin story or should I just pretend I knew that I’m not funny
November 10, 2025 at 7:31 PM
wow 3 funny people starter packs and I didn’t make any of them might become my evil origin story or should I just pretend I knew that I’m not funny
Reposted by 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦
Boy, if this rain keeps up, it won't come down.
November 10, 2025 at 6:23 PM
Boy, if this rain keeps up, it won't come down.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦
If you’re seeing this post, it’s a sign from the Universe to do that thing you’ve been avoiding: Seeing this post.
November 10, 2025 at 9:28 AM
If you’re seeing this post, it’s a sign from the Universe to do that thing you’ve been avoiding: Seeing this post.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦
Please reconsider spraying that perfume/cologne before going in public. Some of us get a full body reaction to you. And not in a good way.
November 10, 2025 at 6:34 PM
Please reconsider spraying that perfume/cologne before going in public. Some of us get a full body reaction to you. And not in a good way.
The gravitational pull of a dropped screw is directly proportional to its importance and how difficult it will be to find before you step on the sharp end again.
November 10, 2025 at 6:41 PM
The gravitational pull of a dropped screw is directly proportional to its importance and how difficult it will be to find before you step on the sharp end again.
They say you can't improve on perfection. Those people have clearly never put bacon on a donut.
November 10, 2025 at 6:36 PM
They say you can't improve on perfection. Those people have clearly never put bacon on a donut.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦
New research confirms that overexposure to political skeets gives you the heebie-jeebies.
The antidote is shitposting.
The antidote is shitposting.
November 10, 2025 at 3:44 PM
New research confirms that overexposure to political skeets gives you the heebie-jeebies.
The antidote is shitposting.
The antidote is shitposting.
If I went back in time, I wouldn't kill Hitler. I'd just find my younger self and say, "That haircut? Really?"
November 10, 2025 at 3:15 PM
If I went back in time, I wouldn't kill Hitler. I'd just find my younger self and say, "That haircut? Really?"
My grandpa once said the secret to a long marriage is honesty. Then he winked and said, "And knowing when to suddenly develop very bad hearing."
November 10, 2025 at 3:06 PM
My grandpa once said the secret to a long marriage is honesty. Then he winked and said, "And knowing when to suddenly develop very bad hearing."
Reposted by 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦
I have a mild cold, so I'll be slowly dying in bed for the next three days.
November 10, 2025 at 2:36 PM
I have a mild cold, so I'll be slowly dying in bed for the next three days.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦
I’m at the point that the fart noise my husband makes when I bend over startles me as much as if a real one slipped out.
November 7, 2025 at 8:03 PM
I’m at the point that the fart noise my husband makes when I bend over startles me as much as if a real one slipped out.
My wife asked if I still find her attractive. I told her of course I do, it just takes me a little longer to catch her.
November 10, 2025 at 2:01 PM
My wife asked if I still find her attractive. I told her of course I do, it just takes me a little longer to catch her.
I can't hear what my wife is saying from the next room, but I can hear a bag of potato chips opening from two blocks away.
November 10, 2025 at 1:59 PM
I can't hear what my wife is saying from the next room, but I can hear a bag of potato chips opening from two blocks away.
I embraced the "dad bod" years ago. Now my body has upgraded to the "deluxe edition," complete with weird aches and a soundtrack of random groans when I stand up.
November 10, 2025 at 1:56 PM
I embraced the "dad bod" years ago. Now my body has upgraded to the "deluxe edition," complete with weird aches and a soundtrack of random groans when I stand up.
Trying to be clever online is like trying to high-five a ghost. You put in all the effort and just end with the unsettling feeling that you're probably nuts.
November 10, 2025 at 1:47 PM
Trying to be clever online is like trying to high-five a ghost. You put in all the effort and just end with the unsettling feeling that you're probably nuts.
My sense of humor is 10% observation, 90% the willingness to publicly humiliate myself for a handful of strangers who probably think I'm a bot.
November 10, 2025 at 1:45 PM
My sense of humor is 10% observation, 90% the willingness to publicly humiliate myself for a handful of strangers who probably think I'm a bot.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦
One of the skills I put on my resume was the ability to keenly observe other people working.
November 10, 2025 at 1:14 PM
One of the skills I put on my resume was the ability to keenly observe other people working.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦
This is my crippling anxiety post. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
November 8, 2025 at 1:10 PM
This is my crippling anxiety post. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
Reposted by 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦
One must shitpost in order to post shit, according to the ancient scrolls...
September 15, 2025 at 10:21 AM
One must shitpost in order to post shit, according to the ancient scrolls...
Reposted by 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦
I can be your emotional support pickle, wink, wink.
- another sure fire pick up line, don't thank me, I am just here to help...
- another sure fire pick up line, don't thank me, I am just here to help...
September 13, 2025 at 7:51 PM
I can be your emotional support pickle, wink, wink.
- another sure fire pick up line, don't thank me, I am just here to help...
- another sure fire pick up line, don't thank me, I am just here to help...