Mary
@anniemumary.bsky.social
Here we go again!
My posts, hopefully:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:c67vzpvqa7oql27z4lqgatx4/feed/aaal7lp65jnjo
My posts, hopefully:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:c67vzpvqa7oql27z4lqgatx4/feed/aaal7lp65jnjo
Pinned
Mary
@anniemumary.bsky.social
· Mar 3
My Oscar would be for my performance in I’m Good. How Are You?
Reposted by Mary
even as a little boy i always dreamt of having bad knees
November 20, 2025 at 3:33 AM
even as a little boy i always dreamt of having bad knees
Reposted by Mary
Don't trust anyone who says 'lo and behold', those words aren't even real.
August 27, 2025 at 4:27 AM
Don't trust anyone who says 'lo and behold', those words aren't even real.
Reposted by Mary
invaluable means valuable???? what the fuck are we even doing about this
November 19, 2025 at 10:43 PM
invaluable means valuable???? what the fuck are we even doing about this
Reposted by Mary
Sometimes I forget to say something.
November 11, 2025 at 4:32 AM
Sometimes I forget to say something.
Reposted by Mary
Flex like you won’t be embarrassingly sore tomorrow.
November 19, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Flex like you won’t be embarrassingly sore tomorrow.
Reposted by Mary
Hey email, I know my debt is outstanding. Proud of it out there, living its best life. Breathing that good air.
November 19, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Hey email, I know my debt is outstanding. Proud of it out there, living its best life. Breathing that good air.
Reposted by Mary
the creepy marketplace seller is saying "c'mon through to the kitchen, just ignore that meat grinder haha" and I'm like man can't I just buy your novelty coasters from the front door here?
November 13, 2025 at 3:14 AM
the creepy marketplace seller is saying "c'mon through to the kitchen, just ignore that meat grinder haha" and I'm like man can't I just buy your novelty coasters from the front door here?
Reposted by Mary
(Me, doing anything requiring all of my concentration)
My bladder: SIR HAVE ANOTHER URGENT MESSAGE.
My bladder: SIR HAVE ANOTHER URGENT MESSAGE.
November 14, 2025 at 1:03 AM
(Me, doing anything requiring all of my concentration)
My bladder: SIR HAVE ANOTHER URGENT MESSAGE.
My bladder: SIR HAVE ANOTHER URGENT MESSAGE.
Reposted by Mary
You wouldn't think chucking 9 minicans of Coke from the airport lounge into your backpack is gonna weight that much but it's important to learn a new thing each day
November 14, 2025 at 2:03 AM
You wouldn't think chucking 9 minicans of Coke from the airport lounge into your backpack is gonna weight that much but it's important to learn a new thing each day
Reposted by Mary
i dont need to hear anyone's life story, i just wanna scritch your pupper's ears
November 20, 2025 at 3:23 AM
i dont need to hear anyone's life story, i just wanna scritch your pupper's ears
Reposted by Mary
In an adjustment period (accidentally left the largest text setting on for days and now everything looks really small)
November 18, 2025 at 1:23 PM
In an adjustment period (accidentally left the largest text setting on for days and now everything looks really small)
Awfully nice holiday tote you got there.
November 20, 2025 at 3:55 AM
Awfully nice holiday tote you got there.
If you spell your name Corrie or if you spell it Corey, I want you to know that I say them differently. You won’t be able to hear it with your ear, but I am saying them differently. 
November 20, 2025 at 2:42 AM
If you spell your name Corrie or if you spell it Corey, I want you to know that I say them differently. You won’t be able to hear it with your ear, but I am saying them differently. 
Reposted by Mary
Shopping for new bathroom carpet in the Sears catalog would fix me.
November 19, 2025 at 3:54 PM
Shopping for new bathroom carpet in the Sears catalog would fix me.
Reposted by Mary
"Welcome to the jungle we got fun and games"
Do you have twister?
"We got everything you want"
Sooo... is that a yes on twister?
Do you have twister?
"We got everything you want"
Sooo... is that a yes on twister?
November 19, 2025 at 6:31 AM
"Welcome to the jungle we got fun and games"
Do you have twister?
"We got everything you want"
Sooo... is that a yes on twister?
Do you have twister?
"We got everything you want"
Sooo... is that a yes on twister?
Reposted by Mary
me: i’m going to make one of those diagrams that uses circles
dracula: venn
me: probably tomorrow
dracula: venn
me: probably tomorrow
May 27, 2023 at 12:07 AM
me: i’m going to make one of those diagrams that uses circles
dracula: venn
me: probably tomorrow
dracula: venn
me: probably tomorrow
Reposted by Mary
Interviewer: why should we hire you?
Me: so I can pay my rent
Me: so I can pay my rent
November 19, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Interviewer: why should we hire you?
Me: so I can pay my rent
Me: so I can pay my rent
Reposted by Mary
November 19, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Reposted by Mary
Just met a baby named Edna and she blew a smoke ring in my face.
November 18, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Just met a baby named Edna and she blew a smoke ring in my face.
Reposted by Mary
*finds a dead body*
Me: IS IT CAKE?
Me: IS IT CAKE?
November 19, 2025 at 3:02 AM
*finds a dead body*
Me: IS IT CAKE?
Me: IS IT CAKE?
Reposted by Mary
After exhausting all other options, I’ve decided to lose my shit.
November 15, 2025 at 3:34 AM
After exhausting all other options, I’ve decided to lose my shit.
A lady called in today with a complaint that was totally valid and I completely matched her outrage in agreement. She seemed to enjoy that and I did, too.
November 19, 2025 at 4:48 AM
A lady called in today with a complaint that was totally valid and I completely matched her outrage in agreement. She seemed to enjoy that and I did, too.
Reposted by Mary
[being mauled]
bear: *mauling me*
me: is it berenstein or berenstain
bear: *mauling me*
me: is it berenstein or berenstain
November 17, 2025 at 11:06 PM
[being mauled]
bear: *mauling me*
me: is it berenstein or berenstain
bear: *mauling me*
me: is it berenstein or berenstain
Reposted by Mary
I hate the sound of something being explained to me
November 11, 2025 at 6:52 PM
I hate the sound of something being explained to me
Reposted by Mary
It’s gonna take a lot more than that to change my mind. Maybe do a magic trick or something
November 16, 2025 at 1:41 PM
It’s gonna take a lot more than that to change my mind. Maybe do a magic trick or something