Theciscokidder
@theciscokidder.bsky.social
Trying to make you laugh. Stay home dad. Left af. 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
he/him
My fav posts https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lp6wfrs3wtfklh6nfr6ksefh/feed/aaaczmcypwicq
Everyone else's fav posts https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lp6wfrs3wtfklh6nfr6ksefh/feed/aaabm4x5djh5k
he/him
My fav posts https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lp6wfrs3wtfklh6nfr6ksefh/feed/aaaczmcypwicq
Everyone else's fav posts https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:lp6wfrs3wtfklh6nfr6ksefh/feed/aaabm4x5djh5k
Pinned
I always wear latex gloves when I chop jalapenos due to an unfortunate fingering incident with my wife back in 2007.
Reposted by Theciscokidder
I save my best skeets for the shower.
November 10, 2025 at 5:29 PM
I save my best skeets for the shower.
Reposted by Theciscokidder
I goit, you goit, we goiter
November 9, 2025 at 9:54 PM
I goit, you goit, we goiter
Reposted by Theciscokidder
Went out to lunch just now. As we were getting back into the car I was like "what are these little white things floating in the air? I thought we were done with ragweed."
Dear Reader, it was snow! Snow. On November 10th. In Atlanta, GA.
Dear Reader, it was snow! Snow. On November 10th. In Atlanta, GA.
a woman making a funny face with her mouth open
Alt: a woman making a funny face with her mouth open
media.tenor.com
November 10, 2025 at 7:34 PM
Went out to lunch just now. As we were getting back into the car I was like "what are these little white things floating in the air? I thought we were done with ragweed."
Dear Reader, it was snow! Snow. On November 10th. In Atlanta, GA.
Dear Reader, it was snow! Snow. On November 10th. In Atlanta, GA.
Reposted by Theciscokidder
Don’t make me per my last email you
November 10, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Don’t make me per my last email you
Reposted by Theciscokidder
Haha no kids Mickey was born 97 years ago. He's a mouse. He's dead.
November 8, 2025 at 3:11 AM
Haha no kids Mickey was born 97 years ago. He's a mouse. He's dead.
Reposted by Theciscokidder
Babies are so weak. You don't hear me crying every time I crap my pants
November 11, 2025 at 1:21 AM
Babies are so weak. You don't hear me crying every time I crap my pants
Reposted by Theciscokidder
You know when you're wearing socks and the seam at the end gets under your toes and annoys the shit out of you all day?
That's my personality
That's my personality
November 9, 2025 at 5:53 AM
You know when you're wearing socks and the seam at the end gets under your toes and annoys the shit out of you all day?
That's my personality
That's my personality
Reposted by Theciscokidder
formula one but all the cars are the fuck truck from titanic
November 9, 2025 at 1:10 AM
formula one but all the cars are the fuck truck from titanic
Reposted by Theciscokidder
A salsa packet burst in my bag. Smells great, but I will hafta clean it today 😭
November 4, 2025 at 7:11 PM
A salsa packet burst in my bag. Smells great, but I will hafta clean it today 😭
Reposted by Theciscokidder
yeah i’m a tradwife: unable to keep up with basic daily tasks due to suspected psychiatric issues, so i will eventually be lobotomized
September 14, 2025 at 4:19 PM
yeah i’m a tradwife: unable to keep up with basic daily tasks due to suspected psychiatric issues, so i will eventually be lobotomized
Reposted by Theciscokidder
I no longer nap, I just act presidential.
November 8, 2025 at 1:39 PM
I no longer nap, I just act presidential.
Reposted by Theciscokidder
“I’m down for whatever,” I say, falling asleep.
October 31, 2025 at 12:16 AM
“I’m down for whatever,” I say, falling asleep.
Reposted by Theciscokidder
Alexa, how do you get wine stains off of a cat?
November 2, 2025 at 9:38 PM
Alexa, how do you get wine stains off of a cat?
Reposted by Theciscokidder
I don’t have any answers, but I do have a few good questions.
October 29, 2025 at 10:45 PM
I don’t have any answers, but I do have a few good questions.
Reposted by Theciscokidder
Everyone’s gangster until they hear their own voice on a recording.
November 10, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Everyone’s gangster until they hear their own voice on a recording.
Reposted by Theciscokidder
Me: That's a horrible idea
Also Me: What time??
Also Me: What time??
November 10, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Me: That's a horrible idea
Also Me: What time??
Also Me: What time??
Reposted by Theciscokidder
gonna start a podcast where i just sigh a lot
November 10, 2025 at 11:22 PM
gonna start a podcast where i just sigh a lot
Reposted by Theciscokidder
He would ALWAYS organize his balls in a row for us. Play was too important to leave to chance. He’d be sleeping now, recharging for the next toss or swim or wrestle or leap. He was a pure and loving and joyful soul in a hard world and even now, resting by the black cherry tree, he teaches us.
November 10, 2025 at 3:31 PM
He would ALWAYS organize his balls in a row for us. Play was too important to leave to chance. He’d be sleeping now, recharging for the next toss or swim or wrestle or leap. He was a pure and loving and joyful soul in a hard world and even now, resting by the black cherry tree, he teaches us.
Reposted by Theciscokidder
should we all move back to europe and be like jk we never left what’s america lol you guys are crazy anyway where is my health insurance at
November 11, 2025 at 1:49 AM
should we all move back to europe and be like jk we never left what’s america lol you guys are crazy anyway where is my health insurance at
Reposted by Theciscokidder
im a daytime midweek bowling alley ten.
November 9, 2025 at 7:46 PM
im a daytime midweek bowling alley ten.
Reposted by Theciscokidder
I’m not attractive enough to be this obnoxious
October 16, 2025 at 12:04 AM
I’m not attractive enough to be this obnoxious
Reposted by Theciscokidder
(pulled over by cop)
Cop: Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?
*I nod down to my lap where a Subway BMT sandwich sits*
Cop (visibility shaken): I...I don't want any trouble
Cop: Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?
*I nod down to my lap where a Subway BMT sandwich sits*
Cop (visibility shaken): I...I don't want any trouble
November 7, 2025 at 3:34 AM
(pulled over by cop)
Cop: Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?
*I nod down to my lap where a Subway BMT sandwich sits*
Cop (visibility shaken): I...I don't want any trouble
Cop: Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?
*I nod down to my lap where a Subway BMT sandwich sits*
Cop (visibility shaken): I...I don't want any trouble
Reposted by Theciscokidder
This party is not even remotely lit
November 10, 2025 at 6:04 AM
This party is not even remotely lit
Reposted by Theciscokidder
POLICE OFFICER [reading me my rights]: Anything you say can and will be held against you
ME: …boobies
ME: …boobies
November 10, 2025 at 3:01 PM
POLICE OFFICER [reading me my rights]: Anything you say can and will be held against you
ME: …boobies
ME: …boobies
Reposted by Theciscokidder
I like my coffee like I like my men, bitter and with a slightly unpleasant mouth feel
November 9, 2025 at 12:03 PM
I like my coffee like I like my men, bitter and with a slightly unpleasant mouth feel