Danny
mardigroan.bsky.social
Danny
@mardigroan.bsky.social
My writing's been found on food shopping lists & mini golf scores

My Bluesky tweets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:aiszm5s7rajxmnj5t35tm4qh/feed/aaadebecxn2si
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I wonder what they do with the sleeves when they make a vest.
February 13, 2026 at 3:48 PM
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“The players exchanged insults, and at the end of the match the man insulted his male opponent’s wife.”
—and then it was on like Donkey Kong, which none of the combatants had ever heard of.
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...
In a pickle: couple charged with felony battery after pickleball brawl at Florida country club
Dispute about rules elevated from insults to fisticuffs, with as many as 20 players becoming involved
www.theguardian.com
February 13, 2026 at 2:46 PM
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I have to serve decaffeinated sarcasm to some of you.
February 13, 2026 at 2:27 PM
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The poetry of February will always be for me the grocery store Valentine’s Day section and the shoppers within.
February 13, 2026 at 1:16 PM
Triskaidekaphobia? More like Trumpajerkaphobia.
February 13, 2026 at 1:35 PM
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Feeling like it's about time to get back to my roots...
[resumes watching Outlander]
February 11, 2026 at 4:15 AM
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me: it’s Friday the 13th, y’all. better knock wood

elijah: what
February 13, 2026 at 10:53 AM
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Ciabatta not fuck with them, they don't knead to put up with naan of your shit. You butter believe they'll crumb right at you and you'll be toast, your loaf over. Do you want your mama putting flours on your grave? Crust me, that's just how they roll. Okay, challah at you later.
February 13, 2026 at 1:02 PM
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Try a the yams in cardigans if you’re looking for a more casual snack.
February 13, 2026 at 12:28 PM
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it would not be fair to them to say this aloud so I don't but every day at some point I see my children and think i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm doing everything i can to make this world better but i'm so sorry, you do not deserve any of this
February 13, 2026 at 12:29 PM
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I love how they named those little mints Andes after the mountains where plane crash survivors ate their dead to stay alive. So cute!
February 12, 2026 at 2:22 PM
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I would consider this grounds for divorce.
February 12, 2026 at 11:56 PM
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You give me a corner piece of cake and then wonder where my clothes went?
February 13, 2026 at 1:54 AM
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sorry, and fyi his chinese character tatt actually means “cashew shrimp”
February 13, 2026 at 3:51 AM
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ever hang out with someone you think is very complex and deep then realize that they’re just a depressed moron with tattoos
February 13, 2026 at 3:39 AM
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Johnny Depp is reprising a beloved character in a new series for kids, "Edward Safety Scissorhands."
February 13, 2026 at 1:51 AM
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I saw the power company guy with a role of electrical tape and I appreciated the brand loyalty.
February 11, 2026 at 5:39 AM
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Turns out catching fish and driving trucks are easily attainable goals.
February 13, 2026 at 3:43 AM
Good of Ari Melber to have on Gary Shteyngart to point out how the current regime is following the strong man / authoritarian playbook.
February 12, 2026 at 11:50 PM
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I’m your favorite mass debater’s favorite masturbator
February 12, 2026 at 11:16 PM
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We’ve normalized his criminal behavior so
much that the Watergate scandal wouldn’t
even move the needle today.
February 12, 2026 at 2:57 PM
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Klaatu barada nikto, baby.
February 12, 2026 at 8:40 PM
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Of course every joke is a cry for help. Are you new to this planet?
February 12, 2026 at 8:05 PM
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Got fired from my job as a vet because I told a lady I was ‘hoptimistic’ about her rabbit walking again lol and also because I’m not a qualified vet.
February 3, 2026 at 11:33 AM