Danny
@mardigroan.bsky.social
My writing's been found on food shopping lists & mini golf scores
My Bluesky tweets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:aiszm5s7rajxmnj5t35tm4qh/feed/aaadebecxn2si
My Bluesky tweets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:aiszm5s7rajxmnj5t35tm4qh/feed/aaadebecxn2si
Reposted by Danny
It’s confusing to me that there’s no word in the English language for waking up in the middle of the night to eat ice cream
February 11, 2026 at 4:52 AM
It’s confusing to me that there’s no word in the English language for waking up in the middle of the night to eat ice cream
Reposted by Danny
The number one rule of 1990s Hip Hop is when you use the word "Stylin" you must rhyme it with "Profilin."
February 7, 2026 at 1:30 PM
The number one rule of 1990s Hip Hop is when you use the word "Stylin" you must rhyme it with "Profilin."
Dr. Frankenstein: Did your intuition return?
Igor: Yes I got my hunch back.
Igor: Yes I got my hunch back.
February 11, 2026 at 3:13 AM
Dr. Frankenstein: Did your intuition return?
Igor: Yes I got my hunch back.
Igor: Yes I got my hunch back.
Reposted by Danny
[pulitzer prize ceremony]
Son: I'd like to dedicate this to my father
[camera cuts to me eating corn nuts in a darth vader t-shirt]
Son: I'd like to dedicate this to my father
[camera cuts to me eating corn nuts in a darth vader t-shirt]
February 11, 2026 at 2:21 AM
[pulitzer prize ceremony]
Son: I'd like to dedicate this to my father
[camera cuts to me eating corn nuts in a darth vader t-shirt]
Son: I'd like to dedicate this to my father
[camera cuts to me eating corn nuts in a darth vader t-shirt]
Reposted by Danny
oh you eat your can of beans with a spoon? i eat mine with another can of beans
February 11, 2026 at 12:57 AM
oh you eat your can of beans with a spoon? i eat mine with another can of beans
Reposted by Danny
Ok, Bye... if that's even you're name
January 20, 2026 at 4:16 AM
Ok, Bye... if that's even you're name
Reposted by Danny
Excuse me, do you have a Valentine's Day card that plays "Dust in the Wind"?
February 10, 2026 at 11:33 PM
Excuse me, do you have a Valentine's Day card that plays "Dust in the Wind"?
Excellent guess but no Carmen is not in San Diego.
February 11, 2026 at 1:53 AM
Excellent guess but no Carmen is not in San Diego.
Reposted by Danny
ME: so it rhymes with baseline
INVENTOR OF VASELINE: oh goodness no
INVENTOR OF VASELINE: oh goodness no
February 11, 2026 at 12:40 AM
ME: so it rhymes with baseline
INVENTOR OF VASELINE: oh goodness no
INVENTOR OF VASELINE: oh goodness no
Reposted by Danny
Ran into my drug dealer today.
She was aggressively polite and wearing a sash.
She was aggressively polite and wearing a sash.
February 10, 2026 at 6:53 PM
Ran into my drug dealer today.
She was aggressively polite and wearing a sash.
She was aggressively polite and wearing a sash.
Reposted by Danny
911: what is your emergency
HUMPTY DUMPTY: help i’ve fallen and i can’t get up
911: hang on sir we’re sending horses and men
HUMPTY DUMPTY: what no i need an ambulance
911: horses and men sir
HUMPTY DUMPTY: help i’ve fallen and i can’t get up
911: hang on sir we’re sending horses and men
HUMPTY DUMPTY: what no i need an ambulance
911: horses and men sir
February 11, 2026 at 12:36 AM
911: what is your emergency
HUMPTY DUMPTY: help i’ve fallen and i can’t get up
911: hang on sir we’re sending horses and men
HUMPTY DUMPTY: what no i need an ambulance
911: horses and men sir
HUMPTY DUMPTY: help i’ve fallen and i can’t get up
911: hang on sir we’re sending horses and men
HUMPTY DUMPTY: what no i need an ambulance
911: horses and men sir
Reposted by Danny
just called someone a dirty rat now I'm sporting a homburg and talkin' up dames at a gin joint
November 17, 2024 at 2:23 AM
just called someone a dirty rat now I'm sporting a homburg and talkin' up dames at a gin joint
Reposted by Danny
Lol at Eddie Vedder fans that won’t listen to Bad Bunny because they “don’t understand what he’s saying.”
February 9, 2026 at 6:54 PM
Lol at Eddie Vedder fans that won’t listen to Bad Bunny because they “don’t understand what he’s saying.”
Reposted by Danny
What’s with talking through a concert? Why are you even there?
February 4, 2026 at 6:20 AM
What’s with talking through a concert? Why are you even there?
Reposted by Danny
Don’t make me have to make a PowerPoint over this😁
February 10, 2026 at 7:26 PM
Don’t make me have to make a PowerPoint over this😁
Reposted by Danny
my grandmother died in 1992 so i have no idea if i’ve continued to get more handsome since then
February 10, 2026 at 1:49 PM
my grandmother died in 1992 so i have no idea if i’ve continued to get more handsome since then
February 10, 2026 at 7:18 PM
Reposted by Danny
Chicken McNuggets come in 4 distinct shapes, each representing a different cast member of the Golden Girls
February 10, 2026 at 2:42 PM
Chicken McNuggets come in 4 distinct shapes, each representing a different cast member of the Golden Girls
i have to believe Beyonce would agree that, by now, you're ready for that jelly
February 10, 2026 at 6:32 PM
i have to believe Beyonce would agree that, by now, you're ready for that jelly
Reposted by Danny
what's the difference between jelly and jam? I'll still be your friend if you take me to see a jelly band
February 10, 2026 at 5:44 PM
what's the difference between jelly and jam? I'll still be your friend if you take me to see a jelly band
Reposted by Danny
I tell my wife I'm the boss like every husband does.
Quietly whispered to myself when I'm absolutely certain she's out of earshot.
Quietly whispered to myself when I'm absolutely certain she's out of earshot.
February 10, 2026 at 2:23 PM
I tell my wife I'm the boss like every husband does.
Quietly whispered to myself when I'm absolutely certain she's out of earshot.
Quietly whispered to myself when I'm absolutely certain she's out of earshot.
I woke up and my hair looked like Ron Howard's colleague, film and television producer Brian Glazer's.
February 10, 2026 at 1:56 PM
I woke up and my hair looked like Ron Howard's colleague, film and television producer Brian Glazer's.
Reposted by Danny
Sometimes I want to be like Oprah and give each of you a car but Hot Wheels®️ are really expensive these days.
February 10, 2026 at 1:33 PM
Sometimes I want to be like Oprah and give each of you a car but Hot Wheels®️ are really expensive these days.
Reposted by Danny
If you wanna be my lover you should definitely not “get with my friends”
April 11, 2025 at 12:32 PM
If you wanna be my lover you should definitely not “get with my friends”
Reposted by Danny
With all my aches and pains, if I were a car, I'd fail inspection every year.
February 10, 2026 at 1:17 PM
With all my aches and pains, if I were a car, I'd fail inspection every year.