Danny
@mardigroan.bsky.social
My writing's been found on food shopping lists & mini golf scores
My Bluesky tweets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:aiszm5s7rajxmnj5t35tm4qh/feed/aaadebecxn2si
My Bluesky tweets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:aiszm5s7rajxmnj5t35tm4qh/feed/aaadebecxn2si
Does Aquaman get high on seaweed?
February 17, 2026 at 12:58 AM
Does Aquaman get high on seaweed?
Reposted by Danny
I would break my right arm if it meant my back would stop hurting.
February 17, 2026 at 12:57 AM
I would break my right arm if it meant my back would stop hurting.
Reposted by Danny
I think it might be me. 40% of my class dropped out. Although we did have one guy who abandoned his family's pizza shop to become an ISIS commander.
Who's the most famous alum of your high school?
I'll go first: David Draiman of Disturbed
I'll go first: David Draiman of Disturbed
guys i just found out i went to the same high school as howard lutnick. please respect my privacy at this time.
February 17, 2026 at 12:47 AM
I think it might be me. 40% of my class dropped out. Although we did have one guy who abandoned his family's pizza shop to become an ISIS commander.
Reposted by Danny
Dude has a chance to make this the funniest Presidents Day ever
February 16, 2026 at 7:43 PM
Dude has a chance to make this the funniest Presidents Day ever
Reposted by Danny
Okay, tornadoes & flooding in LA it totally normal.
February 17, 2026 at 12:11 AM
Okay, tornadoes & flooding in LA it totally normal.
Reposted by Danny
Contrary to what doctors seem to think, you can't live, laugh, Lexapro your way out of an economy and government that is depressing
February 17, 2026 at 12:23 AM
Contrary to what doctors seem to think, you can't live, laugh, Lexapro your way out of an economy and government that is depressing
Reposted by Danny
If you really want to know what it was like in the 70’s, unbuckle the kids’ seatbelts, light a Marlboro, and crack a couple road sodas on the way to drop them off at the roller skating rink
February 17, 2026 at 12:00 AM
If you really want to know what it was like in the 70’s, unbuckle the kids’ seatbelts, light a Marlboro, and crack a couple road sodas on the way to drop them off at the roller skating rink
People are saying ICE agents should take off the Mask. I don't know why those deadly thugs should do a parody of a Jim Carrey movie. What do I know?
February 16, 2026 at 11:57 PM
People are saying ICE agents should take off the Mask. I don't know why those deadly thugs should do a parody of a Jim Carrey movie. What do I know?
Reposted by Danny
I have officially reached the sensible loafers stage of life. Goodbye, high heels at work. You served me well for many a year.
February 14, 2026 at 7:23 PM
I have officially reached the sensible loafers stage of life. Goodbye, high heels at work. You served me well for many a year.
Reposted by Danny
I’ll never say I love you but I will put a baseball in your glove when you’re not using it
February 16, 2026 at 11:46 PM
I’ll never say I love you but I will put a baseball in your glove when you’re not using it
Reposted by Danny
The future may be unknowable, but all scifi creators agree the music people will be most nostalic for is the music of the scifi creators’ youth
February 14, 2026 at 8:09 PM
The future may be unknowable, but all scifi creators agree the music people will be most nostalic for is the music of the scifi creators’ youth
Reposted by Danny
People who have obviously never, not once listened to or understood song lyrics even a single time in their entire miserable lives: I am mad that I did not understand the words
February 9, 2026 at 3:47 PM
People who have obviously never, not once listened to or understood song lyrics even a single time in their entire miserable lives: I am mad that I did not understand the words
Reposted by Danny
FRIEND WHO I HAVEN'T SEEN IN A WHILE: your kid's gotten so big! what is he, four?
ME: i have no idea what he's for
ME: i have no idea what he's for
February 16, 2026 at 8:37 PM
FRIEND WHO I HAVEN'T SEEN IN A WHILE: your kid's gotten so big! what is he, four?
ME: i have no idea what he's for
ME: i have no idea what he's for
Reposted by Danny
When I'm spelling something out over the phone, I love to use the most ridiculous words possible
O like Octopus
S like Sassafras
D like Diggity
F like Flapjacks
A like Aquanet
B like Balenciaga
O like Octopus
S like Sassafras
D like Diggity
F like Flapjacks
A like Aquanet
B like Balenciaga
February 16, 2026 at 10:06 AM
When I'm spelling something out over the phone, I love to use the most ridiculous words possible
O like Octopus
S like Sassafras
D like Diggity
F like Flapjacks
A like Aquanet
B like Balenciaga
O like Octopus
S like Sassafras
D like Diggity
F like Flapjacks
A like Aquanet
B like Balenciaga
Trying on the jacket and say "Looks good!"
The salesman said "You looked good even walking into the store."
Seems like that guy needs an eye test or a truth serum.
The salesman said "You looked good even walking into the store."
Seems like that guy needs an eye test or a truth serum.
February 16, 2026 at 11:20 PM
Trying on the jacket and say "Looks good!"
The salesman said "You looked good even walking into the store."
Seems like that guy needs an eye test or a truth serum.
The salesman said "You looked good even walking into the store."
Seems like that guy needs an eye test or a truth serum.
Reposted by Danny
me, to me, @10:00am: you should get dressed & go somewhere or go out & do something, you lazy piece of shit
me, to me, @10:01am: i know but it’s cold outside & everyone is off today & there’ll be lots of traffic & i just don’t wanna &
me, to me, @10:02am: OK STFU DO WHATEVER YOU DON’T WANNA DO IDC
me, to me, @10:01am: i know but it’s cold outside & everyone is off today & there’ll be lots of traffic & i just don’t wanna &
me, to me, @10:02am: OK STFU DO WHATEVER YOU DON’T WANNA DO IDC
February 16, 2026 at 8:25 PM
me, to me, @10:00am: you should get dressed & go somewhere or go out & do something, you lazy piece of shit
me, to me, @10:01am: i know but it’s cold outside & everyone is off today & there’ll be lots of traffic & i just don’t wanna &
me, to me, @10:02am: OK STFU DO WHATEVER YOU DON’T WANNA DO IDC
me, to me, @10:01am: i know but it’s cold outside & everyone is off today & there’ll be lots of traffic & i just don’t wanna &
me, to me, @10:02am: OK STFU DO WHATEVER YOU DON’T WANNA DO IDC
Reposted by Danny
*if we have an election*
February 16, 2026 at 10:59 PM
*if we have an election*
Reposted by Danny
wife: let’s watch a movie tonight
me: i’ll be home from work by 7:00
wife: we’ll eat, and start it at 8:00
me: sounds good
wife: i’m excited
me: me too!
[8:06]
me: i’ll be home from work by 7:00
wife: we’ll eat, and start it at 8:00
me: sounds good
wife: i’m excited
me: me too!
[8:06]
February 16, 2026 at 10:59 PM
wife: let’s watch a movie tonight
me: i’ll be home from work by 7:00
wife: we’ll eat, and start it at 8:00
me: sounds good
wife: i’m excited
me: me too!
[8:06]
me: i’ll be home from work by 7:00
wife: we’ll eat, and start it at 8:00
me: sounds good
wife: i’m excited
me: me too!
[8:06]
Reposted by Danny
My Mr. Coffee and me go back a ways. The only difference between us now is that Mr. Coffee still has a filter.
February 16, 2026 at 11:13 PM
My Mr. Coffee and me go back a ways. The only difference between us now is that Mr. Coffee still has a filter.
Someone I know sent me a parody of the World's Most Interesting Man titled the World's Dumbest Woman. It was not funny and it felt misogynistic. I should have said something and it bothers me that he thought that I would appreciate it.
February 16, 2026 at 11:09 PM
Someone I know sent me a parody of the World's Most Interesting Man titled the World's Dumbest Woman. It was not funny and it felt misogynistic. I should have said something and it bothers me that he thought that I would appreciate it.
Reposted by Danny
More young people are getting cancer than ever before.
And billionaires are focused on trying to live forever. This is what they’re doing with their tax breaks.
And it’s exactly why we need to stop giving them tax cuts paid for by slashing our healthcare.
And billionaires are focused on trying to live forever. This is what they’re doing with their tax breaks.
And it’s exactly why we need to stop giving them tax cuts paid for by slashing our healthcare.
February 16, 2026 at 11:01 PM
More young people are getting cancer than ever before.
And billionaires are focused on trying to live forever. This is what they’re doing with their tax breaks.
And it’s exactly why we need to stop giving them tax cuts paid for by slashing our healthcare.
And billionaires are focused on trying to live forever. This is what they’re doing with their tax breaks.
And it’s exactly why we need to stop giving them tax cuts paid for by slashing our healthcare.
Reposted by Danny
FRIEND: Oh btw I won two tickets to that French 24 hour car race.
ME: You could say that life gave you Le Mans lol
HIM: Get out!
ME: You could say that life gave you Le Mans lol
HIM: Get out!
February 16, 2026 at 5:42 PM
FRIEND: Oh btw I won two tickets to that French 24 hour car race.
ME: You could say that life gave you Le Mans lol
HIM: Get out!
ME: You could say that life gave you Le Mans lol
HIM: Get out!
Reposted by Danny
Re-reading stories from Batman’s year one in part prep for my superhero class, and impressed how much time Batman spends thinking about safe places to park his car…
February 15, 2026 at 11:54 PM
Re-reading stories from Batman’s year one in part prep for my superhero class, and impressed how much time Batman spends thinking about safe places to park his car…
Reposted by Danny
Still reeling from my boss snarking "for your sake, I hope they never release the Schlepstein Files"
February 16, 2026 at 10:28 PM
Still reeling from my boss snarking "for your sake, I hope they never release the Schlepstein Files"
Joy is tempered by the jerks with whom we have to deal.
February 16, 2026 at 10:24 PM
Joy is tempered by the jerks with whom we have to deal.