Danny
@mardigroan.bsky.social
My writing's been found on food shopping lists & mini golf scores
My Bluesky tweets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:aiszm5s7rajxmnj5t35tm4qh/feed/aaadebecxn2si
My Bluesky tweets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:aiszm5s7rajxmnj5t35tm4qh/feed/aaadebecxn2si
Reposted by Danny
ME: so it rhymes with baseline
INVENTOR OF VASELINE: oh goodness no
INVENTOR OF VASELINE: oh goodness no
February 11, 2026 at 12:40 AM
ME: so it rhymes with baseline
INVENTOR OF VASELINE: oh goodness no
INVENTOR OF VASELINE: oh goodness no
Reposted by Danny
Ran into my drug dealer today.
She was aggressively polite and wearing a sash.
She was aggressively polite and wearing a sash.
February 10, 2026 at 6:53 PM
Ran into my drug dealer today.
She was aggressively polite and wearing a sash.
She was aggressively polite and wearing a sash.
Reposted by Danny
911: what is your emergency
HUMPTY DUMPTY: help i’ve fallen and i can’t get up
911: hang on sir we’re sending horses and men
HUMPTY DUMPTY: what no i need an ambulance
911: horses and men sir
HUMPTY DUMPTY: help i’ve fallen and i can’t get up
911: hang on sir we’re sending horses and men
HUMPTY DUMPTY: what no i need an ambulance
911: horses and men sir
February 11, 2026 at 12:36 AM
911: what is your emergency
HUMPTY DUMPTY: help i’ve fallen and i can’t get up
911: hang on sir we’re sending horses and men
HUMPTY DUMPTY: what no i need an ambulance
911: horses and men sir
HUMPTY DUMPTY: help i’ve fallen and i can’t get up
911: hang on sir we’re sending horses and men
HUMPTY DUMPTY: what no i need an ambulance
911: horses and men sir
Reposted by Danny
just called someone a dirty rat now I'm sporting a homburg and talkin' up dames at a gin joint
November 17, 2024 at 2:23 AM
just called someone a dirty rat now I'm sporting a homburg and talkin' up dames at a gin joint
Reposted by Danny
Lol at Eddie Vedder fans that won’t listen to Bad Bunny because they “don’t understand what he’s saying.”
February 9, 2026 at 6:54 PM
Lol at Eddie Vedder fans that won’t listen to Bad Bunny because they “don’t understand what he’s saying.”
Reposted by Danny
What’s with talking through a concert? Why are you even there?
February 4, 2026 at 6:20 AM
What’s with talking through a concert? Why are you even there?
Reposted by Danny
Don’t make me have to make a PowerPoint over this😁
February 10, 2026 at 7:26 PM
Don’t make me have to make a PowerPoint over this😁
Reposted by Danny
my grandmother died in 1992 so i have no idea if i’ve continued to get more handsome since then
February 10, 2026 at 1:49 PM
my grandmother died in 1992 so i have no idea if i’ve continued to get more handsome since then
Reposted by Danny
Chicken McNuggets come in 4 distinct shapes, each representing a different cast member of the Golden Girls
February 10, 2026 at 2:42 PM
Chicken McNuggets come in 4 distinct shapes, each representing a different cast member of the Golden Girls
Reposted by Danny
what's the difference between jelly and jam? I'll still be your friend if you take me to see a jelly band
February 10, 2026 at 5:44 PM
what's the difference between jelly and jam? I'll still be your friend if you take me to see a jelly band
Reposted by Danny
I tell my wife I'm the boss like every husband does.
Quietly whispered to myself when I'm absolutely certain she's out of earshot.
Quietly whispered to myself when I'm absolutely certain she's out of earshot.
February 10, 2026 at 2:23 PM
I tell my wife I'm the boss like every husband does.
Quietly whispered to myself when I'm absolutely certain she's out of earshot.
Quietly whispered to myself when I'm absolutely certain she's out of earshot.
I woke up and my hair looked like Ron Howard's colleague, film and television producer Brian Glazer's.
February 10, 2026 at 1:56 PM
I woke up and my hair looked like Ron Howard's colleague, film and television producer Brian Glazer's.
Reposted by Danny
Sometimes I want to be like Oprah and give each of you a car but Hot Wheels®️ are really expensive these days.
February 10, 2026 at 1:33 PM
Sometimes I want to be like Oprah and give each of you a car but Hot Wheels®️ are really expensive these days.
Reposted by Danny
If you wanna be my lover you should definitely not “get with my friends”
April 11, 2025 at 12:32 PM
If you wanna be my lover you should definitely not “get with my friends”
Reposted by Danny
With all my aches and pains, if I were a car, I'd fail inspection every year.
February 10, 2026 at 1:17 PM
With all my aches and pains, if I were a car, I'd fail inspection every year.
Reposted by Danny
I hate it when you offer your seat to a pregnant woman on the bus & then it turns out she isn't pregnant, or a woman, and you aren't even on a bus: you're alone at home making up things to get mad about.
February 10, 2026 at 12:30 PM
I hate it when you offer your seat to a pregnant woman on the bus & then it turns out she isn't pregnant, or a woman, and you aren't even on a bus: you're alone at home making up things to get mad about.
Reposted by Danny
the bad bunny bush selection committee was impressed by the large number of strong applications and had to make some tough decisions
February 10, 2026 at 1:16 PM
the bad bunny bush selection committee was impressed by the large number of strong applications and had to make some tough decisions
Reposted by Danny
I was raised on a moody old jetty. I always look down when I walk.
February 10, 2026 at 1:18 PM
I was raised on a moody old jetty. I always look down when I walk.
Reposted by Danny
i danced to both sets & it was glorious
February 10, 2026 at 11:21 AM
i danced to both sets & it was glorious
Reposted by Danny
omg the Dalai Lama is in the Epstein files !
𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ-wait, WHAT??!!
𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ-wait, WHAT??!!
February 10, 2026 at 1:08 PM
omg the Dalai Lama is in the Epstein files !
𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ-wait, WHAT??!!
𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ-wait, WHAT??!!
Reposted by Danny
Everyone at work complaining about the quality of the coffee and I'm over here saying Hey free coffee!
February 10, 2026 at 1:19 PM
Everyone at work complaining about the quality of the coffee and I'm over here saying Hey free coffee!
Reposted by Danny
She doesn't want roses. She wants to be whisked away to a different timeline
February 9, 2026 at 3:19 PM
She doesn't want roses. She wants to be whisked away to a different timeline
Reposted by Danny
Gipsy Kings - Bamboléo (Miami Mix - Official Audio)
YouTube video by gipsykingsVEVO
youtu.be
February 10, 2026 at 3:54 AM
Reposted by Danny
Kid Rock makes music for people who shoot at hurricanes
February 9, 2026 at 12:44 AM
Kid Rock makes music for people who shoot at hurricanes
Reposted by Danny
how can I vet you properly of you don't have a search link?
February 10, 2026 at 3:26 AM
how can I vet you properly of you don't have a search link?