Danny
mardigroan.bsky.social
Danny
@mardigroan.bsky.social
My writing's been found on food shopping lists & mini golf scores

My Bluesky tweets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:aiszm5s7rajxmnj5t35tm4qh/feed/aaadebecxn2si
Does Aquaman get high on seaweed?
February 17, 2026 at 12:58 AM
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I would break my right arm if it meant my back would stop hurting.
February 17, 2026 at 12:57 AM
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I think it might be me. 40% of my class dropped out. Although we did have one guy who abandoned his family's pizza shop to become an ISIS commander.
Who's the most famous alum of your high school?

I'll go first: David Draiman of Disturbed
guys i just found out i went to the same high school as howard lutnick. please respect my privacy at this time.
February 17, 2026 at 12:47 AM
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Dude has a chance to make this the funniest Presidents Day ever
February 16, 2026 at 7:43 PM
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Okay, tornadoes & flooding in LA it totally normal.
February 17, 2026 at 12:11 AM
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Contrary to what doctors seem to think, you can't live, laugh, Lexapro your way out of an economy and government that is depressing
February 17, 2026 at 12:23 AM
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If you really want to know what it was like in the 70’s, unbuckle the kids’ seatbelts, light a Marlboro, and crack a couple road sodas on the way to drop them off at the roller skating rink
February 17, 2026 at 12:00 AM
People are saying ICE agents should take off the Mask. I don't know why those deadly thugs should do a parody of a Jim Carrey movie. What do I know?
February 16, 2026 at 11:57 PM
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I have officially reached the sensible loafers stage of life. Goodbye, high heels at work. You served me well for many a year.
February 14, 2026 at 7:23 PM
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I’ll never say I love you but I will put a baseball in your glove when you’re not using it
February 16, 2026 at 11:46 PM
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The future may be unknowable, but all scifi creators agree the music people will be most nostalic for is the music of the scifi creators’ youth
February 14, 2026 at 8:09 PM
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People who have obviously never, not once listened to or understood song lyrics even a single time in their entire miserable lives: I am mad that I did not understand the words
February 9, 2026 at 3:47 PM
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FRIEND WHO I HAVEN'T SEEN IN A WHILE: your kid's gotten so big! what is he, four?

ME: i have no idea what he's for
February 16, 2026 at 8:37 PM
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When I'm spelling something out over the phone, I love to use the most ridiculous words possible

O like Octopus
S like Sassafras
D like Diggity
F like Flapjacks
A like Aquanet
B like Balenciaga
February 16, 2026 at 10:06 AM
Trying on the jacket and say "Looks good!"

The salesman said "You looked good even walking into the store."

Seems like that guy needs an eye test or a truth serum.
February 16, 2026 at 11:20 PM
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me, to me, @10:00am: you should get dressed & go somewhere or go out & do something, you lazy piece of shit

me, to me, @10:01am: i know but it’s cold outside & everyone is off today & there’ll be lots of traffic & i just don’t wanna &

me, to me, @10:02am: OK STFU DO WHATEVER YOU DON’T WANNA DO IDC
February 16, 2026 at 8:25 PM
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*if we have an election*
February 16, 2026 at 10:59 PM
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wife: let’s watch a movie tonight
me: i’ll be home from work by 7:00
wife: we’ll eat, and start it at 8:00
me: sounds good
wife: i’m excited
me: me too!

[8:06]
February 16, 2026 at 10:59 PM
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My Mr. Coffee and me go back a ways. The only difference between us now is that Mr. Coffee still has a filter.
February 16, 2026 at 11:13 PM
Someone I know sent me a parody of the World's Most Interesting Man titled the World's Dumbest Woman. It was not funny and it felt misogynistic. I should have said something and it bothers me that he thought that I would appreciate it.
February 16, 2026 at 11:09 PM
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More young people are getting cancer than ever before.

And billionaires are focused on trying to live forever. This is what they’re doing with their tax breaks.

And it’s exactly why we need to stop giving them tax cuts paid for by slashing our healthcare.
February 16, 2026 at 11:01 PM
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FRIEND: Oh btw I won two tickets to that French 24 hour car race.

ME: You could say that life gave you Le Mans lol

HIM: Get out!
February 16, 2026 at 5:42 PM
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Re-reading stories from Batman’s year one in part prep for my superhero class, and impressed how much time Batman spends thinking about safe places to park his car…
February 15, 2026 at 11:54 PM
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Still reeling from my boss snarking "for your sake, I hope they never release the Schlepstein Files"
February 16, 2026 at 10:28 PM
Joy is tempered by the jerks with whom we have to deal.
February 16, 2026 at 10:24 PM