Danny
@mardigroan.bsky.social
My writing's been found on food shopping lists & mini golf scores
My Bluesky tweets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:aiszm5s7rajxmnj5t35tm4qh/feed/aaadebecxn2si
My Bluesky tweets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:aiszm5s7rajxmnj5t35tm4qh/feed/aaadebecxn2si
Reposted by Danny
If a man isn’t treating you right, you should ghost him, and buy that I mean unleash a terrifying spectral spirt to torment him day and night
February 15, 2026 at 4:35 AM
If a man isn’t treating you right, you should ghost him, and buy that I mean unleash a terrifying spectral spirt to torment him day and night
Reposted by Danny
tuki has a love hate relationship with water
February 15, 2026 at 4:30 AM
tuki has a love hate relationship with water
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🎵i’m just a poor boy…
February 14, 2026 at 1:53 PM
🎵i’m just a poor boy…
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kinda sucks that there's only one day a year it's acceptable to put on a diaper and shoot arrows at people
February 15, 2026 at 4:07 AM
kinda sucks that there's only one day a year it's acceptable to put on a diaper and shoot arrows at people
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My mom knows a better way to get there in case your uber driver needs any help
February 15, 2026 at 3:46 AM
My mom knows a better way to get there in case your uber driver needs any help
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I thought there was no way my wife and I could get a table on Valentine’s Day without a reservation, but the server at Arby’s said we could sit anywhere.
February 15, 2026 at 12:11 AM
I thought there was no way my wife and I could get a table on Valentine’s Day without a reservation, but the server at Arby’s said we could sit anywhere.
Reposted by Danny
Go out and enjoy the weekend. For best results, avoid direct exposure to people.
February 14, 2026 at 10:12 PM
Go out and enjoy the weekend. For best results, avoid direct exposure to people.
Reposted by Danny
under questioning by Rand Paul, ICE officials confirm that yelling at officers is not assault and recording officers is not a crime
February 12, 2026 at 4:47 PM
under questioning by Rand Paul, ICE officials confirm that yelling at officers is not assault and recording officers is not a crime
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Shoutout to my grandma, who gave my grandpa the exact same Valentine’s Day card every year for decades. He’d read it, or convincingly pretend to, like it was brand new. She’d smile, take it back, and put it in the drawer for next year. Recycling. Romance. Ruthless efficiency. RIP, lovers.
February 14, 2026 at 1:09 PM
Shoutout to my grandma, who gave my grandpa the exact same Valentine’s Day card every year for decades. He’d read it, or convincingly pretend to, like it was brand new. She’d smile, take it back, and put it in the drawer for next year. Recycling. Romance. Ruthless efficiency. RIP, lovers.
Reposted by Danny
Happy Valentine's Day, ugh.
February 14, 2026 at 11:07 PM
Happy Valentine's Day, ugh.
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The stupidity is coming from wihin the United States.
February 14, 2026 at 11:09 PM
The stupidity is coming from wihin the United States.
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Just give me a wink and a nod once in a while so I am reminded that we are all in this together.
February 14, 2026 at 9:07 PM
Just give me a wink and a nod once in a while so I am reminded that we are all in this together.
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My buddy from New Mexico? I think you mean, my palbuquerque.
February 14, 2026 at 8:20 PM
My buddy from New Mexico? I think you mean, my palbuquerque.
Reposted by Danny
usb is short for unlimited sandwich bar
February 14, 2026 at 6:22 AM
usb is short for unlimited sandwich bar
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hey does anyone know if any of it matters in the grand scheme of things
February 14, 2026 at 2:48 AM
hey does anyone know if any of it matters in the grand scheme of things
I saw that an old friend got engaged. I didn't know that he had split from his ex-wife but she must know about that.
February 14, 2026 at 8:47 PM
I saw that an old friend got engaged. I didn't know that he had split from his ex-wife but she must know about that.
Reposted by Danny
I just remembered I posted some jokes on Mastodon a couple years ago. I'll dig them up and post them here, where people will be able to see them.
February 14, 2026 at 7:41 PM
I just remembered I posted some jokes on Mastodon a couple years ago. I'll dig them up and post them here, where people will be able to see them.
Reposted by Danny
[checks calendar, pulls out heart, rubs it on my shirt to make it shine, hands it to you]
February 14, 2026 at 7:38 PM
[checks calendar, pulls out heart, rubs it on my shirt to make it shine, hands it to you]
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SBARRO: You backed into my car!
PANDA EXPRESS: You can't prove it.
SBARRO: I'll see you in Food Court, you sonofa–
PANDA EXPRESS: You can't prove it.
SBARRO: I'll see you in Food Court, you sonofa–
February 14, 2026 at 7:50 PM
SBARRO: You backed into my car!
PANDA EXPRESS: You can't prove it.
SBARRO: I'll see you in Food Court, you sonofa–
PANDA EXPRESS: You can't prove it.
SBARRO: I'll see you in Food Court, you sonofa–
Reposted by Danny
Translation: We’re gonna rig the shit out of it.
Kristi Noem: "When it gets to Election Day, we've been proactive to make sure we have the right people voting, electing the right leaders to lead this country."
February 14, 2026 at 7:52 PM
Translation: We’re gonna rig the shit out of it.
Reposted by Danny
Tried to make heart shaped pancakes but they turned out looking like fluffy butts, that’s how much I love you
February 14, 2026 at 6:48 PM
Tried to make heart shaped pancakes but they turned out looking like fluffy butts, that’s how much I love you
Reposted by Danny
ME (after memorizing the eye chart): Hehe!
DMV AGENT: Can you read this?
ME: Child's play. E F P T O Z L P E D—
DMV AGENT: Stop.
ME: Heard enough? 😌
DMV AGENT: The octagon usually gives this away, but it just says stop.
DMV AGENT: Can you read this?
ME: Child's play. E F P T O Z L P E D—
DMV AGENT: Stop.
ME: Heard enough? 😌
DMV AGENT: The octagon usually gives this away, but it just says stop.
February 14, 2026 at 7:55 PM
ME (after memorizing the eye chart): Hehe!
DMV AGENT: Can you read this?
ME: Child's play. E F P T O Z L P E D—
DMV AGENT: Stop.
ME: Heard enough? 😌
DMV AGENT: The octagon usually gives this away, but it just says stop.
DMV AGENT: Can you read this?
ME: Child's play. E F P T O Z L P E D—
DMV AGENT: Stop.
ME: Heard enough? 😌
DMV AGENT: The octagon usually gives this away, but it just says stop.
Reposted by Danny
I hate online gambling because in order to make bets you should first have to make friends and then annoy them
February 14, 2026 at 7:08 AM
I hate online gambling because in order to make bets you should first have to make friends and then annoy them