Danny
@mardigroan.bsky.social
My writing's been found on food shopping lists & mini golf scores
My Bluesky tweets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:aiszm5s7rajxmnj5t35tm4qh/feed/aaadebecxn2si
My Bluesky tweets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:aiszm5s7rajxmnj5t35tm4qh/feed/aaadebecxn2si
Reposted by Danny
Just off the top of my head, I can’t remember why I walked into this barbershop.
February 12, 2026 at 5:44 PM
Just off the top of my head, I can’t remember why I walked into this barbershop.
Reposted by Danny
Target made $28 billion from 2018-2024.
They spent 92% of that on stock buybacks and dividends.
Trump cut their tax rate by 19 percentage points in 2017. Their CEO likely got a $6 million tax cut from him last year.
And Target just announced 500 layoffs.
We're being scammed.
They spent 92% of that on stock buybacks and dividends.
Trump cut their tax rate by 19 percentage points in 2017. Their CEO likely got a $6 million tax cut from him last year.
And Target just announced 500 layoffs.
We're being scammed.
February 12, 2026 at 5:13 PM
Target made $28 billion from 2018-2024.
They spent 92% of that on stock buybacks and dividends.
Trump cut their tax rate by 19 percentage points in 2017. Their CEO likely got a $6 million tax cut from him last year.
And Target just announced 500 layoffs.
We're being scammed.
They spent 92% of that on stock buybacks and dividends.
Trump cut their tax rate by 19 percentage points in 2017. Their CEO likely got a $6 million tax cut from him last year.
And Target just announced 500 layoffs.
We're being scammed.
Reposted by Danny
[office canteen]
coworker: I hope you don’t mind but I used your mug as mine’s dirty
me: of course not, and I’m sure you don’t mind that as my wife has a headache I used yours instead
coworker: I hope you don’t mind but I used your mug as mine’s dirty
me: of course not, and I’m sure you don’t mind that as my wife has a headache I used yours instead
February 12, 2026 at 2:41 PM
[office canteen]
coworker: I hope you don’t mind but I used your mug as mine’s dirty
me: of course not, and I’m sure you don’t mind that as my wife has a headache I used yours instead
coworker: I hope you don’t mind but I used your mug as mine’s dirty
me: of course not, and I’m sure you don’t mind that as my wife has a headache I used yours instead
Reposted by Danny
Cartoons led me to believe rakes would be a much bigger problem.
February 12, 2026 at 5:26 PM
Cartoons led me to believe rakes would be a much bigger problem.
Reposted by Danny
I need a “stop doing that” list
February 11, 2026 at 9:24 PM
I need a “stop doing that” list
Reposted by Danny
Nowadays, when my wife says she's "with child," she's pointing at me.
February 12, 2026 at 4:24 PM
Nowadays, when my wife says she's "with child," she's pointing at me.
Reposted by Danny
My urologist is psyched for baseball spring training, especially when pitchers and catheters report.
February 12, 2026 at 12:18 AM
My urologist is psyched for baseball spring training, especially when pitchers and catheters report.
Reposted by Danny
[Olympic tryouts]
“Your event?”
“Downhill.”
“Skiing?”
“No. Just going downhill.”
“Huh?”
“Here’s my resume and a picture of me in college.”
“Your event?”
“Downhill.”
“Skiing?”
“No. Just going downhill.”
“Huh?”
“Here’s my resume and a picture of me in college.”
February 10, 2026 at 6:08 PM
[Olympic tryouts]
“Your event?”
“Downhill.”
“Skiing?”
“No. Just going downhill.”
“Huh?”
“Here’s my resume and a picture of me in college.”
“Your event?”
“Downhill.”
“Skiing?”
“No. Just going downhill.”
“Huh?”
“Here’s my resume and a picture of me in college.”
Reposted by Danny
I’m good with a "mother-in-law suite" as long as they're talking about the Embassy Suites in the next town over.
February 12, 2026 at 3:01 PM
I’m good with a "mother-in-law suite" as long as they're talking about the Embassy Suites in the next town over.
Reposted by Danny
Advice is like a sexually transmitted disease. Nobody wants it but there's always someone around to give it to you.
February 12, 2026 at 2:39 PM
Advice is like a sexually transmitted disease. Nobody wants it but there's always someone around to give it to you.
Reposted by Danny
Quicksand is just regular sand that finishes in 30 seconds then falls asleep without satisfying its partner.
February 12, 2026 at 2:44 PM
Quicksand is just regular sand that finishes in 30 seconds then falls asleep without satisfying its partner.
Reposted by Danny
Now, a message from Rev. Thurl H. "Skeet" Ravenscrof:
Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor. Welcome to the 2026 Winter RevLympics! Who will take the gold in tonight's frozen possum curling? Will the south side win again in the 1000 meter stolen car hood snow surf? God bless.
Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor. Welcome to the 2026 Winter RevLympics! Who will take the gold in tonight's frozen possum curling? Will the south side win again in the 1000 meter stolen car hood snow surf? God bless.
February 12, 2026 at 2:27 PM
Now, a message from Rev. Thurl H. "Skeet" Ravenscrof:
Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor. Welcome to the 2026 Winter RevLympics! Who will take the gold in tonight's frozen possum curling? Will the south side win again in the 1000 meter stolen car hood snow surf? God bless.
Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor. Welcome to the 2026 Winter RevLympics! Who will take the gold in tonight's frozen possum curling? Will the south side win again in the 1000 meter stolen car hood snow surf? God bless.
Reposted by Danny
Attorney General Pam Bondi tells a member of a co-equal branch of government during a public hearing: “You don’t tell me anything, you washed-up loser lawyer.” The disdain for our own government is appalling. This administration is destroying our democracy.
February 12, 2026 at 1:11 PM
Attorney General Pam Bondi tells a member of a co-equal branch of government during a public hearing: “You don’t tell me anything, you washed-up loser lawyer.” The disdain for our own government is appalling. This administration is destroying our democracy.
Reposted by Danny
is it be dead, it’s be dead isn’t it
February 12, 2026 at 2:10 PM
is it be dead, it’s be dead isn’t it
Reposted by Danny
Welcome to Do’s & Don’ts Club. Pay your dues at the door or don’t come in.
February 12, 2026 at 12:18 PM
Welcome to Do’s & Don’ts Club. Pay your dues at the door or don’t come in.
Reposted by Danny
Recently, there have been several stick-ups and one Axe murder (in the first Degree). Management has made no Secret of the need to increase security, but still haven’t found the Right Guard. Finding themselves underarmed, the crime wave continues to roll on.
February 12, 2026 at 2:09 PM
Recently, there have been several stick-ups and one Axe murder (in the first Degree). Management has made no Secret of the need to increase security, but still haven’t found the Right Guard. Finding themselves underarmed, the crime wave continues to roll on.
Reposted by Danny
sees man in trousers, vest, jacket & tie . follows suit . folks,,
February 11, 2026 at 9:18 PM
sees man in trousers, vest, jacket & tie . follows suit . folks,,
Reposted by Danny
My posts are things that run through my mind, if you think those are bad . . . think about the triple X ones that I don't post . . . some of those include pizza too.
February 12, 2026 at 1:18 PM
My posts are things that run through my mind, if you think those are bad . . . think about the triple X ones that I don't post . . . some of those include pizza too.
Reposted by Danny
Reposted by Danny
I need a vacation. Off planet.
January 28, 2026 at 10:45 PM
I need a vacation. Off planet.
I am not sure whether to respond with an HR Puffenstuff gif or one from the Banana Splits.
February 12, 2026 at 12:30 PM
I am not sure whether to respond with an HR Puffenstuff gif or one from the Banana Splits.
Reposted by Danny
70s children television shows exemplify why psychedelic drugs are the answer.
February 12, 2026 at 12:26 PM
70s children television shows exemplify why psychedelic drugs are the answer.
Reposted by Danny
Finally bit the bullet, moving to the country to eat a shitload of peaches
February 12, 2026 at 3:00 AM
Finally bit the bullet, moving to the country to eat a shitload of peaches
Reposted by Danny
I heard, "if you want it sugar coated, go to a bakery"
thanks, i'll take a dozen glazed and let's cleanse this world with fire
thanks, i'll take a dozen glazed and let's cleanse this world with fire
October 29, 2025 at 1:38 PM
I heard, "if you want it sugar coated, go to a bakery"
thanks, i'll take a dozen glazed and let's cleanse this world with fire
thanks, i'll take a dozen glazed and let's cleanse this world with fire
Reposted by Danny
This day in history. 1450. Feast day of saint Julian the Hospitaller who murdered his parents in their sleep but it's fine with the church because he thought they were his wife and some dude.
February 12, 2026 at 9:22 AM
This day in history. 1450. Feast day of saint Julian the Hospitaller who murdered his parents in their sleep but it's fine with the church because he thought they were his wife and some dude.