Danny
mardigroan.bsky.social
Danny
@mardigroan.bsky.social
My writing's been found on food shopping lists & mini golf scores

My Bluesky tweets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:aiszm5s7rajxmnj5t35tm4qh/feed/aaadebecxn2si
Pinned
Dr. Frankenstein: Did your intuition return?

Igor: Yes I got my hunch back.
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italian cats be like miao
February 16, 2026 at 8:47 PM
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Date: I’m leaving.

Me: *jumping out of a dumpster* why?
February 17, 2026 at 2:14 AM
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My husband is so predicable!
I know exactly what he'll get me for Valentine's Day ...

Nothing
February 14, 2026 at 8:19 PM
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Am I the only one who's wondering how long a stardate is?
February 12, 2026 at 7:48 PM
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I bet I could drill into the bottom of a Panera bread bowl, attach a hose, and turn it into, like, a beer funnel but for soup
February 17, 2026 at 2:19 AM
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*left on delivered for an hour*

BRAIN: Hope you two are very happy together. If you need a wedding planner, just let me know.
February 17, 2026 at 2:24 AM
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I am no longer my own landscaper. I am now "The Hedgelord"
February 17, 2026 at 2:27 AM
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Been away from home for 3 1/2 months. Got back to LA and found all the rain made the succulents in my yard very happy.
February 17, 2026 at 2:06 AM
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Discovered today that Instagram had turned on (without my opt-in) automatic AUDIO translation of any reel that shows up in my feed not in English USING AI TO MIMIC THE SPEAKER’S VOICE and WOW it was creepy and upsetting.

You can turn it off in “Language & Translations” in Settings. 🙅🏻‍♀️
February 17, 2026 at 1:57 AM
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[panera]

ME: *eats bread bowl*

DATE: pretty sure you’re supposed to eat the soup first
February 17, 2026 at 12:24 AM
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Panic! Anywhere really
February 16, 2026 at 10:17 PM
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Poor Cayman Islands. They sent one athlete to the Winter Olympics and he Cayman last.
February 16, 2026 at 7:17 PM
Does Aquaman get high on seaweed?
February 17, 2026 at 12:58 AM
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I would break my right arm if it meant my back would stop hurting.
February 17, 2026 at 12:57 AM
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I think it might be me. 40% of my class dropped out. Although we did have one guy who abandoned his family's pizza shop to become an ISIS commander.
Who's the most famous alum of your high school?

I'll go first: David Draiman of Disturbed
guys i just found out i went to the same high school as howard lutnick. please respect my privacy at this time.
February 17, 2026 at 12:47 AM
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Dude has a chance to make this the funniest Presidents Day ever
February 16, 2026 at 7:43 PM
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Okay, tornadoes & flooding in LA it totally normal.
February 17, 2026 at 12:11 AM
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Contrary to what doctors seem to think, you can't live, laugh, Lexapro your way out of an economy and government that is depressing
February 17, 2026 at 12:23 AM
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If you really want to know what it was like in the 70’s, unbuckle the kids’ seatbelts, light a Marlboro, and crack a couple road sodas on the way to drop them off at the roller skating rink
February 17, 2026 at 12:00 AM
People are saying ICE agents should take off the Mask. I don't know why those deadly thugs should do a parody of a Jim Carrey movie. What do I know?
February 16, 2026 at 11:57 PM
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I have officially reached the sensible loafers stage of life. Goodbye, high heels at work. You served me well for many a year.
February 14, 2026 at 7:23 PM
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I’ll never say I love you but I will put a baseball in your glove when you’re not using it
February 16, 2026 at 11:46 PM
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The future may be unknowable, but all scifi creators agree the music people will be most nostalic for is the music of the scifi creators’ youth
February 14, 2026 at 8:09 PM
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People who have obviously never, not once listened to or understood song lyrics even a single time in their entire miserable lives: I am mad that I did not understand the words
February 9, 2026 at 3:47 PM
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FRIEND WHO I HAVEN'T SEEN IN A WHILE: your kid's gotten so big! what is he, four?

ME: i have no idea what he's for
February 16, 2026 at 8:37 PM