Danny
@mardigroan.bsky.social
My writing's been found on food shopping lists & mini golf scores
My Bluesky tweets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:aiszm5s7rajxmnj5t35tm4qh/feed/aaadebecxn2si
My Bluesky tweets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:aiszm5s7rajxmnj5t35tm4qh/feed/aaadebecxn2si
Reposted by Danny
We’ve normalized his criminal behavior so
much that the Watergate scandal wouldn’t
even move the needle today.
much that the Watergate scandal wouldn’t
even move the needle today.
February 12, 2026 at 2:57 PM
We’ve normalized his criminal behavior so
much that the Watergate scandal wouldn’t
even move the needle today.
much that the Watergate scandal wouldn’t
even move the needle today.
Reposted by Danny
Klaatu barada nikto, baby.
February 12, 2026 at 8:40 PM
Klaatu barada nikto, baby.
Reposted by Danny
Of course every joke is a cry for help. Are you new to this planet?
February 12, 2026 at 8:05 PM
Of course every joke is a cry for help. Are you new to this planet?
Reposted by Danny
Got fired from my job as a vet because I told a lady I was ‘hoptimistic’ about her rabbit walking again lol and also because I’m not a qualified vet.
February 3, 2026 at 11:33 AM
Got fired from my job as a vet because I told a lady I was ‘hoptimistic’ about her rabbit walking again lol and also because I’m not a qualified vet.
Reposted by Danny
'Play on playa'
- The inventor of beach volleyball
- The inventor of beach volleyball
February 7, 2026 at 9:42 PM
'Play on playa'
- The inventor of beach volleyball
- The inventor of beach volleyball
Reposted by Danny
ME: What’s that other bread you eat sometimes Sharon?
WIFE: Spelt?
ME: B R E A D
HER: Get out!
WIFE: Spelt?
ME: B R E A D
HER: Get out!
February 8, 2026 at 8:08 PM
ME: What’s that other bread you eat sometimes Sharon?
WIFE: Spelt?
ME: B R E A D
HER: Get out!
WIFE: Spelt?
ME: B R E A D
HER: Get out!
Reposted by Danny
Great news! Valentine’s Day falls on a weekend, which really widens the window for disappointment.
February 12, 2026 at 7:16 PM
Great news! Valentine’s Day falls on a weekend, which really widens the window for disappointment.
Reposted by Danny
between his last name and his being a messy bitch who lives for the drama it’s kind of wild that Nick Castellanos doesn’t have a podcast
February 12, 2026 at 7:53 PM
between his last name and his being a messy bitch who lives for the drama it’s kind of wild that Nick Castellanos doesn’t have a podcast
Reposted by Danny
You won’t catch me whistling past the graveyard but sometimes I’ll scat sing in the manner of Ella Fitzgerald
February 12, 2026 at 7:55 PM
You won’t catch me whistling past the graveyard but sometimes I’ll scat sing in the manner of Ella Fitzgerald
Reposted by Danny
No new scientific finding / just denial of science by the vandals
BREAKING: The EPA revokes scientific finding that greenhouse gases endanger the public health, removing a key basis for the climate change fight.
Live updates: Trump's EPA revokes scientific finding that underpinned US fight against climate change
The Trump administration revoked a scientific finding at the center of U.S. action to regulate greenhouse gas emissions and fight climate change, a significant rollback of regulations.
bit.ly
February 12, 2026 at 7:34 PM
No new scientific finding / just denial of science by the vandals
Reposted by Danny
Doctors at Walter Reed Hospital were initially concerned upon finding a large mass during President Trump's annual prostate exam. Upon further examination, however, they were relieved to discover that it was just Pam Bondi.
February 12, 2026 at 6:40 PM
Doctors at Walter Reed Hospital were initially concerned upon finding a large mass during President Trump's annual prostate exam. Upon further examination, however, they were relieved to discover that it was just Pam Bondi.
Reposted by Danny
Gee, what a coincidence!!! 🤔
😒 😒
😒 😒
Gallup will no longer measure presidential approval after 88 years thehill.com/homenews/med...
February 11, 2026 at 7:19 PM
Gee, what a coincidence!!! 🤔
😒 😒
😒 😒
Reposted by Danny
too late rhythm already got me
February 12, 2026 at 10:13 AM
too late rhythm already got me
Reposted by Danny
Couldn’t get the top off my bottle of stress gummies and started to freak out a little
November 24, 2024 at 3:15 AM
Couldn’t get the top off my bottle of stress gummies and started to freak out a little
Reposted by Danny
Just off the top of my head, I can’t remember why I walked into this barbershop.
February 12, 2026 at 5:44 PM
Just off the top of my head, I can’t remember why I walked into this barbershop.
Reposted by Danny
Target made $28 billion from 2018-2024.
They spent 92% of that on stock buybacks and dividends.
Trump cut their tax rate by 19 percentage points in 2017. Their CEO likely got a $6 million tax cut from him last year.
And Target just announced 500 layoffs.
We're being scammed.
They spent 92% of that on stock buybacks and dividends.
Trump cut their tax rate by 19 percentage points in 2017. Their CEO likely got a $6 million tax cut from him last year.
And Target just announced 500 layoffs.
We're being scammed.
February 12, 2026 at 5:13 PM
Target made $28 billion from 2018-2024.
They spent 92% of that on stock buybacks and dividends.
Trump cut their tax rate by 19 percentage points in 2017. Their CEO likely got a $6 million tax cut from him last year.
And Target just announced 500 layoffs.
We're being scammed.
They spent 92% of that on stock buybacks and dividends.
Trump cut their tax rate by 19 percentage points in 2017. Their CEO likely got a $6 million tax cut from him last year.
And Target just announced 500 layoffs.
We're being scammed.
Reposted by Danny
[office canteen]
coworker: I hope you don’t mind but I used your mug as mine’s dirty
me: of course not, and I’m sure you don’t mind that as my wife has a headache I used yours instead
coworker: I hope you don’t mind but I used your mug as mine’s dirty
me: of course not, and I’m sure you don’t mind that as my wife has a headache I used yours instead
February 12, 2026 at 2:41 PM
[office canteen]
coworker: I hope you don’t mind but I used your mug as mine’s dirty
me: of course not, and I’m sure you don’t mind that as my wife has a headache I used yours instead
coworker: I hope you don’t mind but I used your mug as mine’s dirty
me: of course not, and I’m sure you don’t mind that as my wife has a headache I used yours instead
Reposted by Danny
Cartoons led me to believe rakes would be a much bigger problem.
February 12, 2026 at 5:26 PM
Cartoons led me to believe rakes would be a much bigger problem.
Reposted by Danny
I need a “stop doing that” list
February 11, 2026 at 9:24 PM
I need a “stop doing that” list
Reposted by Danny
Nowadays, when my wife says she's "with child," she's pointing at me.
February 12, 2026 at 4:24 PM
Nowadays, when my wife says she's "with child," she's pointing at me.
Reposted by Danny
My urologist is psyched for baseball spring training, especially when pitchers and catheters report.
February 12, 2026 at 12:18 AM
My urologist is psyched for baseball spring training, especially when pitchers and catheters report.
Reposted by Danny
[Olympic tryouts]
“Your event?”
“Downhill.”
“Skiing?”
“No. Just going downhill.”
“Huh?”
“Here’s my resume and a picture of me in college.”
“Your event?”
“Downhill.”
“Skiing?”
“No. Just going downhill.”
“Huh?”
“Here’s my resume and a picture of me in college.”
February 10, 2026 at 6:08 PM
[Olympic tryouts]
“Your event?”
“Downhill.”
“Skiing?”
“No. Just going downhill.”
“Huh?”
“Here’s my resume and a picture of me in college.”
“Your event?”
“Downhill.”
“Skiing?”
“No. Just going downhill.”
“Huh?”
“Here’s my resume and a picture of me in college.”
Reposted by Danny
I’m good with a "mother-in-law suite" as long as they're talking about the Embassy Suites in the next town over.
February 12, 2026 at 3:01 PM
I’m good with a "mother-in-law suite" as long as they're talking about the Embassy Suites in the next town over.
Reposted by Danny
Advice is like a sexually transmitted disease. Nobody wants it but there's always someone around to give it to you.
February 12, 2026 at 2:39 PM
Advice is like a sexually transmitted disease. Nobody wants it but there's always someone around to give it to you.
Reposted by Danny
Quicksand is just regular sand that finishes in 30 seconds then falls asleep without satisfying its partner.
February 12, 2026 at 2:44 PM
Quicksand is just regular sand that finishes in 30 seconds then falls asleep without satisfying its partner.