@kattsdogma.bsky.social
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*2 seconds after taking my meds* oh shit did i take my meds 🤔
not now, kids. mommy is playing with her new shark™️ cordless™️ power™️ pro™️ vacuum™️ !!!!
February 6, 2026 at 2:44 PM
not now, kids. mommy is playing with her new shark™️ cordless™️ power™️ pro™️ vacuum™️ !!!!
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It's hard to believe but if you wear a top hat to work every day, eventually, your coworkers won't even notice it. Now the monocle.
February 5, 2026 at 4:53 AM
It's hard to believe but if you wear a top hat to work every day, eventually, your coworkers won't even notice it. Now the monocle.
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“Okay Steve, try it now.”
February 6, 2026 at 1:48 PM
“Okay Steve, try it now.”
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you can tell someone's net worth by how they email. for instance if it says something like "thx for teh trafficked kids on the island this we=kend", that's a billionaire
February 4, 2026 at 2:53 AM
you can tell someone's net worth by how they email. for instance if it says something like "thx for teh trafficked kids on the island this we=kend", that's a billionaire
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Jesus: *slides rock back across cave* No thanks
February 28, 2025 at 7:10 PM
Jesus: *slides rock back across cave* No thanks
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BECOME UNGOVERNABLE
February 5, 2026 at 1:27 PM
BECOME UNGOVERNABLE
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When faced with a difficult decision I like to ask what would Jesus do? The problem is he answers in Aramaic.
February 5, 2026 at 1:58 PM
When faced with a difficult decision I like to ask what would Jesus do? The problem is he answers in Aramaic.
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I forgot what I was saying mid-sentence just to be mysterious.
February 3, 2026 at 9:52 PM
I forgot what I was saying mid-sentence just to be mysterious.
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Wait, are you trying to tell me Post Malone and Jelly Roll are two different people..
February 3, 2026 at 12:35 PM
Wait, are you trying to tell me Post Malone and Jelly Roll are two different people..
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Drop some DOGS 🐕🦮🖤🐩🐕🦺
February 4, 2026 at 8:46 PM
Drop some DOGS 🐕🦮🖤🐩🐕🦺
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how lazy do you have to be to invent the word “ditto”
February 3, 2026 at 6:30 PM
how lazy do you have to be to invent the word “ditto”
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rating you on a scale from catfish to chilean seabass
February 5, 2026 at 5:49 PM
rating you on a scale from catfish to chilean seabass
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Due to a typo, I've been marooned on a dessert island.
Send milk.
Send milk.
February 3, 2026 at 8:08 PM
Due to a typo, I've been marooned on a dessert island.
Send milk.
Send milk.
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Knees are the nipples of the legs
February 3, 2026 at 5:36 PM
Knees are the nipples of the legs
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pepsi ceo: we need a tagline for Mountain Dew
marketing guy: how about Just Dew It
pepsi ceo: that’ll never catch on
marketing guy: ok what about Do the Dew
pepsi ceo: that’ll do
marketing guy: what
pepsi ceo: what
marketing guy: how about Just Dew It
pepsi ceo: that’ll never catch on
marketing guy: ok what about Do the Dew
pepsi ceo: that’ll do
marketing guy: what
pepsi ceo: what
February 5, 2026 at 2:30 PM
pepsi ceo: we need a tagline for Mountain Dew
marketing guy: how about Just Dew It
pepsi ceo: that’ll never catch on
marketing guy: ok what about Do the Dew
pepsi ceo: that’ll do
marketing guy: what
pepsi ceo: what
marketing guy: how about Just Dew It
pepsi ceo: that’ll never catch on
marketing guy: ok what about Do the Dew
pepsi ceo: that’ll do
marketing guy: what
pepsi ceo: what
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Oh, we don't go to that Coinstar. That's the haunted one
February 5, 2026 at 1:38 AM
Oh, we don't go to that Coinstar. That's the haunted one
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so fucking sick of increasing shareholder value bro
February 4, 2026 at 3:11 AM
so fucking sick of increasing shareholder value bro
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since it's apparently spring here in southern california the camellias are blooming
February 4, 2026 at 10:26 PM
since it's apparently spring here in southern california the camellias are blooming
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I just got half-chub thinking about raisin toast if you want to know what getting old is like
February 5, 2026 at 2:00 PM
I just got half-chub thinking about raisin toast if you want to know what getting old is like
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I wouldn’t die on this hill but I’d consider stubbing a toe.
February 4, 2026 at 2:36 PM
I wouldn’t die on this hill but I’d consider stubbing a toe.
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I seem to have run out of jokes
jokers block I guess
jokers block I guess
February 5, 2026 at 10:31 AM
I seem to have run out of jokes
jokers block I guess
jokers block I guess
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Therapist said I was projecting but I really haven’t done that since screening gas pump girls at my birthday party in 1981
February 4, 2026 at 11:46 PM
Therapist said I was projecting but I really haven’t done that since screening gas pump girls at my birthday party in 1981
your beaver is eager? my beaver’s a bush leaguer we are not the same
February 5, 2026 at 3:41 PM
your beaver is eager? my beaver’s a bush leaguer we are not the same
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My person in Minnesota tells me that the level of violence continues without change, or maybe it’s even gotten worse. People are still being beaten and snatched. People are still afraid to get groceries. Please just know this.
February 4, 2026 at 12:04 AM
My person in Minnesota tells me that the level of violence continues without change, or maybe it’s even gotten worse. People are still being beaten and snatched. People are still afraid to get groceries. Please just know this.
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Lead members of a Who tribute band named Roger Paltry and Repeat Townsend.
February 5, 2026 at 4:39 AM
Lead members of a Who tribute band named Roger Paltry and Repeat Townsend.