@kattsdogma.bsky.social
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*2 seconds after taking my meds* oh shit did i take my meds π€
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[pulitzer prize ceremony]
Son: I'd like to dedicate this to my father
[camera cuts to me eating corn nuts in a darth vader t-shirt]
Son: I'd like to dedicate this to my father
[camera cuts to me eating corn nuts in a darth vader t-shirt]
February 11, 2026 at 2:21 AM
[pulitzer prize ceremony]
Son: I'd like to dedicate this to my father
[camera cuts to me eating corn nuts in a darth vader t-shirt]
Son: I'd like to dedicate this to my father
[camera cuts to me eating corn nuts in a darth vader t-shirt]
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The number one rule of 1990s Hip Hop is when you use the word "Stylin" you must rhyme it with "Profilin."
February 7, 2026 at 1:30 PM
The number one rule of 1990s Hip Hop is when you use the word "Stylin" you must rhyme it with "Profilin."
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Just so we're all clear, the plural of Roomba is RoombaeΒ
Receptionist quietly into phone: Security? Yeah. He's back
Receptionist quietly into phone: Security? Yeah. He's back
February 9, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Just so we're all clear, the plural of Roomba is RoombaeΒ
Receptionist quietly into phone: Security? Yeah. He's back
Receptionist quietly into phone: Security? Yeah. He's back
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No new pictures.
Where are you mentally?
Where are you mentally?
February 10, 2026 at 6:26 AM
No new pictures.
Where are you mentally?
Where are you mentally?
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I tell my wife I'm the boss like every husband does.
Quietly whispered to myself when I'm absolutely certain she's out of earshot.
Quietly whispered to myself when I'm absolutely certain she's out of earshot.
February 10, 2026 at 2:23 PM
I tell my wife I'm the boss like every husband does.
Quietly whispered to myself when I'm absolutely certain she's out of earshot.
Quietly whispered to myself when I'm absolutely certain she's out of earshot.
hahaha i forgot about that lol
February 10, 2026 at 10:22 PM
hahaha i forgot about that lol
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no, babe, itβs okay that youβre not stacyβs mom. i still think youβve got it going on.
February 10, 2026 at 4:30 PM
no, babe, itβs okay that youβre not stacyβs mom. i still think youβve got it going on.
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omg the Dalai Lama is in the Epstein files !
πβπβπΎππΌπ π»ππΌπβ'π β-wait, WHAT??!!
πβπβπΎππΌπ π»ππΌπβ'π β-wait, WHAT??!!
February 10, 2026 at 1:08 PM
omg the Dalai Lama is in the Epstein files !
πβπβπΎππΌπ π»ππΌπβ'π β-wait, WHAT??!!
πβπβπΎππΌπ π»ππΌπβ'π β-wait, WHAT??!!
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In my therapistβs waiting room getting ready for my appointment, can I get you anything?
February 10, 2026 at 5:56 PM
In my therapistβs waiting room getting ready for my appointment, can I get you anything?
excellent movie & your rendition of that song is just gorgeous, frances. im swooning π©·
February 10, 2026 at 8:26 PM
excellent movie & your rendition of that song is just gorgeous, frances. im swooning π©·
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the best time for someone to just fucking do it already was 50 years ago. the second best time is now.
February 10, 2026 at 12:25 AM
the best time for someone to just fucking do it already was 50 years ago. the second best time is now.
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look i'm no olympian but one time a random guy on the internet offered to give me one of his teeth, which is not nothin
February 10, 2026 at 7:02 PM
look i'm no olympian but one time a random guy on the internet offered to give me one of his teeth, which is not nothin
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i guess i'll have to move to canada to avoid the draft folder
February 9, 2026 at 9:38 PM
i guess i'll have to move to canada to avoid the draft folder
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Today someone bid me adieu. Not to be undone, I bid two dieus.
February 10, 2026 at 6:02 PM
Today someone bid me adieu. Not to be undone, I bid two dieus.
donβt be,, mad . it was just kismet or something idk π€·π»ββοΈ
February 10, 2026 at 8:15 PM
donβt be,, mad . it was just kismet or something idk π€·π»ββοΈ
long live the moms who survived our childhoods!
February 10, 2026 at 4:06 PM
long live the moms who survived our childhoods!
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I was raised on a moody old jetty. I always look down when I walk.
February 10, 2026 at 1:18 PM
I was raised on a moody old jetty. I always look down when I walk.
i was raised on the tough streets of suburbia. i always look down when i walk (donβt wanna break my motherβs back)
February 10, 2026 at 4:02 PM
i was raised on the tough streets of suburbia. i always look down when i walk (donβt wanna break my motherβs back)
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sorry draft folder, i will continue to word vomit and workshop my posts on the tl for all to see
February 9, 2026 at 9:18 PM
sorry draft folder, i will continue to word vomit and workshop my posts on the tl for all to see
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we never drank water growing up i donβt even know how im alive right now
August 19, 2023 at 12:33 PM
we never drank water growing up i donβt even know how im alive right now
Iβve only seen the denials
February 10, 2026 at 1:59 PM
Iβve only seen the denials
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my grandmother died in 1992 so i have no idea if iβve continued to get more handsome since then
February 10, 2026 at 1:49 PM
my grandmother died in 1992 so i have no idea if iβve continued to get more handsome since then
surely. shingles should.
February 10, 2026 at 1:49 PM
surely. shingles should.
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the use of performance enhancing drugs by olympic athletes is getting out of hand
February 9, 2026 at 9:00 PM
the use of performance enhancing drugs by olympic athletes is getting out of hand
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I hate it when you offer your seat to a pregnant woman on the bus & then it turns out she isn't pregnant, or a woman, and you aren't even on a bus: you're alone at home making up things to get mad about.
February 10, 2026 at 12:30 PM
I hate it when you offer your seat to a pregnant woman on the bus & then it turns out she isn't pregnant, or a woman, and you aren't even on a bus: you're alone at home making up things to get mad about.