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kattsdogma.bsky.social
@kattsdogma.bsky.social
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*2 seconds after taking my meds* oh shit did i take my meds πŸ€”
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[pulitzer prize ceremony]

Son: I'd like to dedicate this to my father

[camera cuts to me eating corn nuts in a darth vader t-shirt]
February 11, 2026 at 2:21 AM
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The number one rule of 1990s Hip Hop is when you use the word "Stylin" you must rhyme it with "Profilin."
February 7, 2026 at 1:30 PM
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Just so we're all clear, the plural of Roomba is RoombaeΒ 

Receptionist quietly into phone: Security? Yeah. He's back
February 9, 2026 at 8:00 PM
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No new pictures.
Where are you mentally?
February 10, 2026 at 6:26 AM
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I tell my wife I'm the boss like every husband does.

Quietly whispered to myself when I'm absolutely certain she's out of earshot.
February 10, 2026 at 2:23 PM
hahaha i forgot about that lol
February 10, 2026 at 10:22 PM
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no, babe, it’s okay that you’re not stacy’s mom. i still think you’ve got it going on.
February 10, 2026 at 4:30 PM
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omg the Dalai Lama is in the Epstein files !

π•Šβ„π•€β„•π”Ύπ•ƒπ”Όπ•Š π”»π•†π”Όπ•Šβ„•'𝕋 β„‚-wait, WHAT??!!
February 10, 2026 at 1:08 PM
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In my therapist’s waiting room getting ready for my appointment, can I get you anything?
February 10, 2026 at 5:56 PM
excellent movie & your rendition of that song is just gorgeous, frances. im swooning 🩷
February 10, 2026 at 8:26 PM
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the best time for someone to just fucking do it already was 50 years ago. the second best time is now.
February 10, 2026 at 12:25 AM
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look i'm no olympian but one time a random guy on the internet offered to give me one of his teeth, which is not nothin
February 10, 2026 at 7:02 PM
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i guess i'll have to move to canada to avoid the draft folder
February 9, 2026 at 9:38 PM
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Today someone bid me adieu. Not to be undone, I bid two dieus.
February 10, 2026 at 6:02 PM
don’t be,, mad . it was just kismet or something idk πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ
February 10, 2026 at 8:15 PM
long live the moms who survived our childhoods!
February 10, 2026 at 4:06 PM
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I was raised on a moody old jetty. I always look down when I walk.
February 10, 2026 at 1:18 PM
i was raised on the tough streets of suburbia. i always look down when i walk (don’t wanna break my mother’s back)
February 10, 2026 at 4:02 PM
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sorry draft folder, i will continue to word vomit and workshop my posts on the tl for all to see
February 9, 2026 at 9:18 PM
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we never drank water growing up i don’t even know how im alive right now
August 19, 2023 at 12:33 PM
I’ve only seen the denials
February 10, 2026 at 1:59 PM
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my grandmother died in 1992 so i have no idea if i’ve continued to get more handsome since then
February 10, 2026 at 1:49 PM
surely. shingles should.
February 10, 2026 at 1:49 PM
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the use of performance enhancing drugs by olympic athletes is getting out of hand
February 9, 2026 at 9:00 PM
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I hate it when you offer your seat to a pregnant woman on the bus & then it turns out she isn't pregnant, or a woman, and you aren't even on a bus: you're alone at home making up things to get mad about.
February 10, 2026 at 12:30 PM