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kattsdogma.bsky.social
@kattsdogma.bsky.social
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*2 seconds after taking my meds* oh shit did i take my meds 🤔
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there is a deer frozen in my headlights so now I need to take the headlight apart and shake that little fucker out
February 4, 2026 at 8:57 PM
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Before Mr and Mrs Potatohead tied the knot, they were cohabi-taters.
February 4, 2026 at 10:02 PM
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oh nothing just two old men crushing on the public library
February 7, 2026 at 6:41 PM
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sometimes i feel like cutting my own bangs but then i pull up a picture of courtney cox in scream 3 & that feeling goes away
February 7, 2026 at 1:14 AM
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Repost with a photo of yours that would make a good album cover
February 7, 2026 at 1:40 AM
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oh no my cwypto it is vewy sick😭
February 6, 2026 at 7:00 PM
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🎶 It's fun to stay at the...
February 7, 2026 at 7:26 PM
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I hate this decade.
February 7, 2026 at 4:36 AM
🎵 i arranged the menu, the venue, the seating…
February 7, 2026 at 7:08 PM
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You wake up one morning and suddenly realize you haven’t tasted an Entenmann’s coffee cake in 30 years.
January 28, 2026 at 11:51 PM
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Me: You have the right to remain silent.

Her: Please don’t talk to my parents like that.
February 7, 2026 at 6:21 PM
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ZOOKEEPER: So our last snake is our yellow Burmese python

ME: *way too loud* A bananaconda

ZOOKEEPER: *pulling out his tazer* look away kids
February 3, 2026 at 7:12 PM
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Only vocalize your intention to protest. You should never put anything in rioting.
February 6, 2026 at 2:48 PM
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No new pictures. Where are you mentally?
February 6, 2026 at 12:44 AM
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ahh the olympics where every 4 years people are experts on sports they only watch every 4 years
Screaming at the TV, "Ooh...c'mon, heavy hands, you're fighting the ice and your sweeper! Get someone out there who can lighten the stone!" -- guy who watches curling once every four years
February 4, 2026 at 10:08 PM
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That Italian woman just won a speed skating gold on her 35th birthday. I pulled a hammy reaching for the Tums this morning
February 7, 2026 at 4:23 PM
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If food is a love language, then this is the sauce.
February 6, 2026 at 8:23 PM
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I dunno, if I would have had any idea the US would cease to exist in my lifetime, I would not have been so concerned about eating healthy all these years.
September 19, 2025 at 12:27 AM
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we got your genetic tests back and it’s definitely maybelline
February 7, 2026 at 4:54 AM
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going forward this is my reply to all of 2026
February 7, 2026 at 4:55 PM
me, showing grandpa how to text: think you’ll be able to keep up ?

grandpa, who never returned that dvd to blockbuster: what

me: THINK YOU’LL BE ABLE TO KEEP UP ?

grandpa: jesus christ, i heard you the first time. fine, i’ll return it

me: what
February 7, 2026 at 4:56 PM
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I’ve learned how to completely ignore all questions.
Ask me how.
February 4, 2026 at 7:51 PM
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When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child, I boolean searched as a child: but when I became a man, I bookmarked thousands of websites intending to read them "someday"
February 7, 2026 at 2:32 AM
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i know a lot of people don't want to hear this but given the choice between voting for a leader who will commit violence against a large number of marginalized people and one who will only commit violence against a slightly smaller number, you have to opt for harm reduction and build two guillotines
February 7, 2026 at 3:22 PM
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Repost with a photo of yours that would make a good album cover.
February 7, 2026 at 1:46 PM