@kattsdogma.bsky.social
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*2 seconds after taking my meds* oh shit did i take my meds 🤔
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Is it my turn to share the Nobel Peace Prize yet?
February 9, 2026 at 9:27 AM
Is it my turn to share the Nobel Peace Prize yet?
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Hi Florida police?
Yeah, just wanted to say, concerned citizen here, pleased your investigating the horrid pedo. Yeah, not a suspect here, just a concerned citizen. Ha ha. Not worried, no.
Yeah, just wanted to say, concerned citizen here, pleased your investigating the horrid pedo. Yeah, not a suspect here, just a concerned citizen. Ha ha. Not worried, no.
February 11, 2026 at 10:25 AM
Hi Florida police?
Yeah, just wanted to say, concerned citizen here, pleased your investigating the horrid pedo. Yeah, not a suspect here, just a concerned citizen. Ha ha. Not worried, no.
Yeah, just wanted to say, concerned citizen here, pleased your investigating the horrid pedo. Yeah, not a suspect here, just a concerned citizen. Ha ha. Not worried, no.
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[pulitzer prize ceremony]
Son: I'd like to dedicate this to my father
[camera cuts to me eating corn nuts in a darth vader t-shirt]
Son: I'd like to dedicate this to my father
[camera cuts to me eating corn nuts in a darth vader t-shirt]
February 11, 2026 at 2:21 AM
[pulitzer prize ceremony]
Son: I'd like to dedicate this to my father
[camera cuts to me eating corn nuts in a darth vader t-shirt]
Son: I'd like to dedicate this to my father
[camera cuts to me eating corn nuts in a darth vader t-shirt]
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The number one rule of 1990s Hip Hop is when you use the word "Stylin" you must rhyme it with "Profilin."
February 7, 2026 at 1:30 PM
The number one rule of 1990s Hip Hop is when you use the word "Stylin" you must rhyme it with "Profilin."
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Just so we're all clear, the plural of Roomba is Roombae
Receptionist quietly into phone: Security? Yeah. He's back
Receptionist quietly into phone: Security? Yeah. He's back
February 9, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Just so we're all clear, the plural of Roomba is Roombae
Receptionist quietly into phone: Security? Yeah. He's back
Receptionist quietly into phone: Security? Yeah. He's back
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No new pictures.
Where are you mentally?
Where are you mentally?
February 10, 2026 at 6:26 AM
No new pictures.
Where are you mentally?
Where are you mentally?
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I tell my wife I'm the boss like every husband does.
Quietly whispered to myself when I'm absolutely certain she's out of earshot.
Quietly whispered to myself when I'm absolutely certain she's out of earshot.
February 10, 2026 at 2:23 PM
I tell my wife I'm the boss like every husband does.
Quietly whispered to myself when I'm absolutely certain she's out of earshot.
Quietly whispered to myself when I'm absolutely certain she's out of earshot.
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no, babe, it’s okay that you’re not stacy’s mom. i still think you’ve got it going on.
February 10, 2026 at 4:30 PM
no, babe, it’s okay that you’re not stacy’s mom. i still think you’ve got it going on.
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omg the Dalai Lama is in the Epstein files !
𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ-wait, WHAT??!!
𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ-wait, WHAT??!!
February 10, 2026 at 1:08 PM
omg the Dalai Lama is in the Epstein files !
𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ-wait, WHAT??!!
𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ-wait, WHAT??!!
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In my therapist’s waiting room getting ready for my appointment, can I get you anything?
February 10, 2026 at 5:56 PM
In my therapist’s waiting room getting ready for my appointment, can I get you anything?
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the best time for someone to just fucking do it already was 50 years ago. the second best time is now.
February 10, 2026 at 12:25 AM
the best time for someone to just fucking do it already was 50 years ago. the second best time is now.
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look i'm no olympian but one time a random guy on the internet offered to give me one of his teeth, which is not nothin
February 10, 2026 at 7:02 PM
look i'm no olympian but one time a random guy on the internet offered to give me one of his teeth, which is not nothin
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i guess i'll have to move to canada to avoid the draft folder
February 9, 2026 at 9:38 PM
i guess i'll have to move to canada to avoid the draft folder
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Today someone bid me adieu. Not to be undone, I bid two dieus.
February 10, 2026 at 6:02 PM
Today someone bid me adieu. Not to be undone, I bid two dieus.
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I was raised on a moody old jetty. I always look down when I walk.
February 10, 2026 at 1:18 PM
I was raised on a moody old jetty. I always look down when I walk.
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sorry draft folder, i will continue to word vomit and workshop my posts on the tl for all to see
February 9, 2026 at 9:18 PM
sorry draft folder, i will continue to word vomit and workshop my posts on the tl for all to see
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we never drank water growing up i don’t even know how im alive right now
August 19, 2023 at 12:33 PM
we never drank water growing up i don’t even know how im alive right now
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my grandmother died in 1992 so i have no idea if i’ve continued to get more handsome since then
February 10, 2026 at 1:49 PM
my grandmother died in 1992 so i have no idea if i’ve continued to get more handsome since then
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the use of performance enhancing drugs by olympic athletes is getting out of hand
February 9, 2026 at 9:00 PM
the use of performance enhancing drugs by olympic athletes is getting out of hand
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I hate it when you offer your seat to a pregnant woman on the bus & then it turns out she isn't pregnant, or a woman, and you aren't even on a bus: you're alone at home making up things to get mad about.
February 10, 2026 at 12:30 PM
I hate it when you offer your seat to a pregnant woman on the bus & then it turns out she isn't pregnant, or a woman, and you aren't even on a bus: you're alone at home making up things to get mad about.
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I already have a full time job, it’s called anxiety
February 9, 2026 at 11:55 PM
I already have a full time job, it’s called anxiety
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The cat is on my lap and I can't get to the kitchen to prepare lunch without moving her. Does Uber Eats enter a home and deliver to a specific room?
February 9, 2026 at 5:11 PM
The cat is on my lap and I can't get to the kitchen to prepare lunch without moving her. Does Uber Eats enter a home and deliver to a specific room?
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I can’t be the only one who wants to be a sugar cane running wild and free in a warm clime
February 9, 2026 at 12:30 PM
I can’t be the only one who wants to be a sugar cane running wild and free in a warm clime
omg the Dalai Lama is in the Epstein files !
𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ-wait, WHAT??!!
𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ-wait, WHAT??!!
February 10, 2026 at 1:08 PM
omg the Dalai Lama is in the Epstein files !
𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ-wait, WHAT??!!
𝕊ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼𝕊 𝔻𝕆𝔼𝕊ℕ'𝕋 ℂ-wait, WHAT??!!
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This day in history. 60. The apostle Paul was shipwrecked off the coast of Malta and was bitten by a viper and the viper died not he so the islanders thought he was a god and became Christians but when a budgie bit me and died the Church of Jim lost congregants which hardly seems fair really.
February 10, 2026 at 9:25 AM
This day in history. 60. The apostle Paul was shipwrecked off the coast of Malta and was bitten by a viper and the viper died not he so the islanders thought he was a god and became Christians but when a budgie bit me and died the Church of Jim lost congregants which hardly seems fair really.