Matt
@badthoughthaver.bsky.social
Nerd, geek, dork, loser.
Please help: My thoughts, they are bad.
Said thoughts: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaolkthurmh6
Pfp by @geraldinepiche.bsky.social
Please help: My thoughts, they are bad.
Said thoughts: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaolkthurmh6
Pfp by @geraldinepiche.bsky.social
Pinned
Matt
@badthoughthaver.bsky.social
· Oct 30
My personality? Imagine if Marvin the Paranoid Android and Eeyore fucked.
Me: Oh my god, why are you guys so obsessed with me?! Leave me alone!
Them: Sir, do you know how fast you were just going?
Me: What do I look like, some kinda fucking nerd?
Them: Sir, do you know how fast you were just going?
Me: What do I look like, some kinda fucking nerd?
December 26, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Me: Oh my god, why are you guys so obsessed with me?! Leave me alone!
Them: Sir, do you know how fast you were just going?
Me: What do I look like, some kinda fucking nerd?
Them: Sir, do you know how fast you were just going?
Me: What do I look like, some kinda fucking nerd?
Reposted by Matt
parent's dog is named "Harpo." 4 year old is now calling him "Barfo"
December 26, 2025 at 10:44 PM
parent's dog is named "Harpo." 4 year old is now calling him "Barfo"
Cru for Prez: Vote Early, Vote Often!
trans rights are human rights, billionaires don’t need to exist, every pedophile goes directly into the volcano gahead gimme your vote
December 26, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Cru for Prez: Vote Early, Vote Often!
How The Grinch Stole My Will To Live
December 26, 2025 at 10:29 PM
How The Grinch Stole My Will To Live
Did That Chicken Burger Just Cool Really Quickly Or Am I About To Have Food Poisoning?: A Memoir
December 26, 2025 at 9:13 PM
Did That Chicken Burger Just Cool Really Quickly Or Am I About To Have Food Poisoning?: A Memoir
Reposted by Matt
I SAID YES (he asked if he should fuck off)
December 26, 2025 at 8:17 PM
I SAID YES (he asked if he should fuck off)
I got nothing today kids. I've spent 3 days alone and somehow I'm still feeling burnt out. That's probably fine, right?
December 26, 2025 at 6:20 PM
I got nothing today kids. I've spent 3 days alone and somehow I'm still feeling burnt out. That's probably fine, right?
Back in your box until next year, Ebenezer
December 26, 2025 at 1:30 PM
Back in your box until next year, Ebenezer
Goddamn it Baby Jesus you've failed me again!
Dear Baby Jesus, I don't ask for much at Christmastime, but if you can do one thing for me please make the Cowboys eat shit against the Commanders today. It would be megalolz.
December 26, 2025 at 12:31 AM
Goddamn it Baby Jesus you've failed me again!
Reposted by Matt
My little niece got a kid’s version of a smart watch. She’s been texting me non stop today. She’s about to learn how it feels to be blocked.
December 25, 2025 at 11:27 PM
My little niece got a kid’s version of a smart watch. She’s been texting me non stop today. She’s about to learn how it feels to be blocked.
Them: Look, I know what you're like with new people, just try to act normal with my friends.
Me: What do you mean? It'll be fine, I'm totally normal!
Also Me: Hi I'm Matt, do you ever wonder what it'd be like if all your skin was as sensitive as your genitals?
Me: What do you mean? It'll be fine, I'm totally normal!
Also Me: Hi I'm Matt, do you ever wonder what it'd be like if all your skin was as sensitive as your genitals?
December 25, 2025 at 11:49 PM
Them: Look, I know what you're like with new people, just try to act normal with my friends.
Me: What do you mean? It'll be fine, I'm totally normal!
Also Me: Hi I'm Matt, do you ever wonder what it'd be like if all your skin was as sensitive as your genitals?
Me: What do you mean? It'll be fine, I'm totally normal!
Also Me: Hi I'm Matt, do you ever wonder what it'd be like if all your skin was as sensitive as your genitals?
Reposted by Matt
Me: I’ll plan ahead this year
Christmas: lol
Gas station wine: merry Christmas bitch
Christmas: lol
Gas station wine: merry Christmas bitch
December 25, 2025 at 8:11 PM
Me: I’ll plan ahead this year
Christmas: lol
Gas station wine: merry Christmas bitch
Christmas: lol
Gas station wine: merry Christmas bitch
No selfie from me today, for I am a mess. Just imagine the best looking man you've ever seen in your life. Close enough.
December 25, 2025 at 8:02 PM
No selfie from me today, for I am a mess. Just imagine the best looking man you've ever seen in your life. Close enough.
Why would I call you a filthy animal? That's just unnecessarily cruel.
December 25, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Why would I call you a filthy animal? That's just unnecessarily cruel.
Reposted by Matt
getting into the holiday spirit and putting little santa hat on all the turds before flushing them down the "chimney"
December 25, 2025 at 5:34 PM
getting into the holiday spirit and putting little santa hat on all the turds before flushing them down the "chimney"
Reposted by Matt
You'll have a merry Christmas and you'll fucking like it- or else! 😡❤️🎄
December 25, 2025 at 5:19 PM
You'll have a merry Christmas and you'll fucking like it- or else! 😡❤️🎄
Reposted by Matt
Christmas has again won the war. The only remaining option is to hunt down Santa, slit him open, and feast on his innards.
December 25, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Christmas has again won the war. The only remaining option is to hunt down Santa, slit him open, and feast on his innards.
Reposted by Matt
I drove by a restaurant called “Donuts & Fried Rice” and I haven’t stopped thinking about it for 3 days.
December 25, 2025 at 4:07 PM
I drove by a restaurant called “Donuts & Fried Rice” and I haven’t stopped thinking about it for 3 days.
No blowjob-shaped present under the tree again this year 😔
December 25, 2025 at 4:05 PM
No blowjob-shaped present under the tree again this year 😔
Reposted by Matt
out of an abundance of caution I’m going to need you to sit on my face
December 25, 2025 at 3:11 PM
out of an abundance of caution I’m going to need you to sit on my face
Having the kind of Christmas day a lot of people would turn their nose up at. Not a soul in the house, just me and the cats living the hermit life of our dreams.
December 25, 2025 at 2:41 PM
Having the kind of Christmas day a lot of people would turn their nose up at. Not a soul in the house, just me and the cats living the hermit life of our dreams.
Reposted by Matt
Miracle on 69th Street
December 25, 2025 at 1:47 PM
Miracle on 69th Street
Merry Christmas, if the mood takes you
Merry Christmas, if you must
Merry Christmas, should you need to
December 25, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Merry Christmas, if the mood takes you
Reposted by Matt
Protestants: Christ on a cracker!
Catholics: Christ IS a cracker.
Catholics: Christ IS a cracker.
December 25, 2025 at 12:39 PM
Protestants: Christ on a cracker!
Catholics: Christ IS a cracker.
Catholics: Christ IS a cracker.