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gupton68.bsky.social
bacon popsicle 🐊
@gupton68.bsky.social
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What I like most about BlueSky is how on twitter I always felt like I was an outsider looking in and I do here too, so it really feels just like home.
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If you ask me there’s no way Prince Charming would have tried quite so hard to find Cinders had she been wearing glass Crocs.
November 16, 2025 at 2:19 PM
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I'm just smart enough to know I'm kind of a dumb ass.
November 16, 2025 at 5:30 AM
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if evolution is so smart why’d it give polar bears a black nose in the middle of their stupid white faces?
November 17, 2025 at 1:58 AM
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Could someone let me know when it's safe to go out in public again, please.
November 16, 2025 at 5:33 PM
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Going into the office while everyone has a cold to hear the cacoughony
November 6, 2025 at 11:26 PM
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I don’t want a fun-sized Snickers. I want the full bar, the full commitment, the full emotional nougat.
November 16, 2025 at 4:14 PM
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this whole apologist hair splitting on pedophilia is only persuasive if you accept the implicit assumption that if the attraction itself is non-deviant, taking action on it is inherently justifiable. it's rape culture, it's entitlement, and it's the impulse control of a child.
November 16, 2025 at 3:57 PM
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Is there a belly rumblings interpreter in the house cos i'm pretty sure mine has something urgent to tell the world
November 16, 2025 at 11:13 PM
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ok but i never thought i'd get that much of a chuckle out of hearing news readers saying amyl and the sniffers
November 15, 2025 at 6:28 AM
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My idea of a fancy feast tastes a lot different than this, Mr. Whiskers. I mean, no offense, thanks for sharing this beautiful formal meal with me, but I'm just going to drink the wine.
November 17, 2025 at 2:27 AM
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Time to hit the hay sounds too aggressively scritchy scratchy. I'm gonna say it's time to hug the downy feathers instead.
November 17, 2025 at 5:31 AM
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Let's hear it for ketchup and scrambled eggs. It's gotta be one of my favorite things to throw in the trash
November 17, 2025 at 2:47 AM
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Introducing Blindr, Bluesky's new dating app, which allows you to set out your specs in 300 characters.
November 17, 2025 at 5:04 AM
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I'm at my most North American when I make tater tot casserole for dinner
November 17, 2025 at 4:15 AM
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her: We need to talk

me: As you wish

her: Your obsession with The Princess Bride is driving me crazy

me: Inconceivable!

her: That's it, I’m leaving you

me: I think you're bluff—

her: *slams the door*

me: *turning to camera* Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something
June 19, 2024 at 1:17 PM
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“Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown”

~ something I learned the hard way that one time I didn’t take my Burger King crown off at nap time.
November 28, 2024 at 2:19 PM
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I like pretty things and scrolling accounts with the biggest shitshow.
November 12, 2025 at 10:13 PM
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It's what anybody would do after a dream like that, check the newspapers for a rise in pioneer living, make sure my toy robots aren't digging a tunnel to eBay
November 16, 2025 at 5:52 PM
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The successful screenwriter of Will Ferrell's famous Christmas-themed movie is proudly described as an Elf-made man.
November 14, 2025 at 3:13 AM
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Sundays are for sensually dipping strawberries in chocolate fondue with the fellas
November 16, 2025 at 7:10 PM
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Seeing snow covering the campground. I notice the one site with thumping music and flashing lights and all I can think is now must be the winter of our disco tents.
August 19, 2025 at 5:24 PM
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Wisdom? I barely meet her, nowadays...
November 16, 2025 at 7:02 PM
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This one time I was stuck in the desert and off in the distance it appeared that 3 people were having sex.

But as I got closer it was just a mirage a trois.
November 16, 2025 at 7:42 PM
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My alternative theory is that "Bubba" is a misspelling of Вова - the Russian nickname for Vladimir.
November 16, 2025 at 2:54 AM
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As we get stupider, socks won’t just be marked R and L but also FOOT
November 16, 2025 at 2:00 PM