𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
@unfitz.bsky.social
Fugitive warlord. Indicted crypto kingpin. Disgraced former intern. Dry clean only.
He/him/his
Fitzy’s Funtastic Feed: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:eeuovmdmopwss5bsf7el3ra7/feed/aaabi4hywtg5g
He/him/his
Fitzy’s Funtastic Feed: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:eeuovmdmopwss5bsf7el3ra7/feed/aaabi4hywtg5g
Pinned
𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
@unfitz.bsky.social
· Oct 11
I never finish anything. I have a black belt in partial arts.
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
I hope something gross leaves your body today in a very satisfying way
November 11, 2025 at 3:02 PM
I hope something gross leaves your body today in a very satisfying way
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
how do you guys post such, what’s the word … good ?
November 11, 2025 at 2:48 PM
how do you guys post such, what’s the word … good ?
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
I have to make two phone calls today so, as you can see, my day is pretty full
November 11, 2025 at 11:41 AM
I have to make two phone calls today so, as you can see, my day is pretty full
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
the lady that filled the bird feeder was two hours late and chester was starting to get pissed
November 11, 2025 at 2:20 PM
the lady that filled the bird feeder was two hours late and chester was starting to get pissed
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
I crave endless attention and total isolation at the same time.
November 11, 2025 at 3:13 AM
I crave endless attention and total isolation at the same time.
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
*draws chalk outline around my credit score*
November 11, 2025 at 4:31 AM
*draws chalk outline around my credit score*
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
imagine actually dying on the hill though
November 10, 2025 at 6:18 PM
imagine actually dying on the hill though
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
Any time I don’t know the answer to a question, I say “the surgeon was the boy’s mother” just in case
November 11, 2025 at 12:46 AM
Any time I don’t know the answer to a question, I say “the surgeon was the boy’s mother” just in case
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
should we all move back to europe and be like jk we never left what’s america lol you guys are crazy anyway where is my health insurance at
November 11, 2025 at 1:49 AM
should we all move back to europe and be like jk we never left what’s america lol you guys are crazy anyway where is my health insurance at
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
“You two deserve each other” is the ninja of double insults.
March 24, 2025 at 1:44 PM
“You two deserve each other” is the ninja of double insults.
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
This day in history. 1634. The Irish House of Commons passed An Act for the Punishment for the Vice of Buggery, prodded so to speak to do so by Anglican bishop John Atherton who was soon the first to be hanged for the crime.
November 11, 2023 at 10:38 AM
This day in history. 1634. The Irish House of Commons passed An Act for the Punishment for the Vice of Buggery, prodded so to speak to do so by Anglican bishop John Atherton who was soon the first to be hanged for the crime.
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
a nightclub for millennials where we can dance. doors open at 7pm. lights out by 11pm.
November 11, 2025 at 4:13 AM
a nightclub for millennials where we can dance. doors open at 7pm. lights out by 11pm.
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
using fractions: 1/10 do not recommend
November 10, 2025 at 5:03 PM
using fractions: 1/10 do not recommend
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
it takes a village people to raise a macho man
November 10, 2025 at 5:30 PM
it takes a village people to raise a macho man
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
"Please stop telling me to carry on. Please, I'm begging you."
- my wayward son
- my wayward son
November 10, 2025 at 5:10 PM
"Please stop telling me to carry on. Please, I'm begging you."
- my wayward son
- my wayward son
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
Everyone’s gangster until they hear their own voice on a recording.
November 10, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Everyone’s gangster until they hear their own voice on a recording.
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
today is my bsky anniversary so I just want to say: I will never stop terrorizing you. you will not win.
November 10, 2025 at 3:21 PM
today is my bsky anniversary so I just want to say: I will never stop terrorizing you. you will not win.
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
“i fold,” said the poker player & the laundromat guy & the origami artist & the dems &
November 10, 2025 at 9:10 PM
“i fold,” said the poker player & the laundromat guy & the origami artist & the dems &
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
Dem voters did amazing things.
Dem party leadership pissed it away within a week.
Dem party leadership pissed it away within a week.
November 10, 2025 at 7:56 PM
Dem voters did amazing things.
Dem party leadership pissed it away within a week.
Dem party leadership pissed it away within a week.
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
Devil: Is there a problem?
Soul: I was told there is a special place in hell for me. This is just okay.
Devil:
Soul: I'm a little let down.
Devil: Good.
Soul: I was told there is a special place in hell for me. This is just okay.
Devil:
Soul: I'm a little let down.
Devil: Good.
May 12, 2024 at 10:32 PM
Devil: Is there a problem?
Soul: I was told there is a special place in hell for me. This is just okay.
Devil:
Soul: I'm a little let down.
Devil: Good.
Soul: I was told there is a special place in hell for me. This is just okay.
Devil:
Soul: I'm a little let down.
Devil: Good.
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
"I still believe that the world is flat."
"I can demonstrate that it isn't. Get in that boat and sail away from shore. Keep looking at that lighthouse until it disappears."
"OK. Then what?"
"Keep going."
"I can demonstrate that it isn't. Get in that boat and sail away from shore. Keep looking at that lighthouse until it disappears."
"OK. Then what?"
"Keep going."
March 12, 2025 at 11:12 AM
"I still believe that the world is flat."
"I can demonstrate that it isn't. Get in that boat and sail away from shore. Keep looking at that lighthouse until it disappears."
"OK. Then what?"
"Keep going."
"I can demonstrate that it isn't. Get in that boat and sail away from shore. Keep looking at that lighthouse until it disappears."
"OK. Then what?"
"Keep going."
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
You haven't been reposting me are you OK?
November 10, 2025 at 7:07 PM
You haven't been reposting me are you OK?
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
The overnight process failed and we will need to apply the self loathing manually today.
November 10, 2025 at 6:07 PM
The overnight process failed and we will need to apply the self loathing manually today.
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
Accidentally texted "Olay" instead of "Okay" and now my text has a smooth, youthful look.
November 10, 2025 at 7:53 PM
Accidentally texted "Olay" instead of "Okay" and now my text has a smooth, youthful look.
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
A vile country isn't a country that can't feed its children, a vile country is a country that *won't* feed its children.
November 10, 2025 at 5:35 PM
A vile country isn't a country that can't feed its children, a vile country is a country that *won't* feed its children.