𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
@unfitz.bsky.social
Fugitive warlord. Indicted crypto kingpin. Disgraced former intern. Dry clean only.
He/him/his
Fitzy’s Funtastic Feed: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:eeuovmdmopwss5bsf7el3ra7/feed/aaabi4hywtg5g
He/him/his
Fitzy’s Funtastic Feed: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:eeuovmdmopwss5bsf7el3ra7/feed/aaabi4hywtg5g
Pinned
𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
@unfitz.bsky.social
· Oct 11
I never finish anything. I have a black belt in partial arts.
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
using fractions: 1/10 do not recommend
November 10, 2025 at 5:03 PM
using fractions: 1/10 do not recommend
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
it takes a village people to raise a macho man
November 10, 2025 at 5:30 PM
it takes a village people to raise a macho man
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
"Please stop telling me to carry on. Please, I'm begging you."
- my wayward son
- my wayward son
November 10, 2025 at 5:10 PM
"Please stop telling me to carry on. Please, I'm begging you."
- my wayward son
- my wayward son
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
Everyone’s gangster until they hear their own voice on a recording.
November 10, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Everyone’s gangster until they hear their own voice on a recording.
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
today is my bsky anniversary so I just want to say: I will never stop terrorizing you. you will not win.
November 10, 2025 at 3:21 PM
today is my bsky anniversary so I just want to say: I will never stop terrorizing you. you will not win.
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
“i fold,” said the poker player & the laundromat guy & the origami artist & the dems &
November 10, 2025 at 9:10 PM
“i fold,” said the poker player & the laundromat guy & the origami artist & the dems &
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
Dem voters did amazing things.
Dem party leadership pissed it away within a week.
Dem party leadership pissed it away within a week.
November 10, 2025 at 7:56 PM
Dem voters did amazing things.
Dem party leadership pissed it away within a week.
Dem party leadership pissed it away within a week.
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
Devil: Is there a problem?
Soul: I was told there is a special place in hell for me. This is just okay.
Devil:
Soul: I'm a little let down.
Devil: Good.
Soul: I was told there is a special place in hell for me. This is just okay.
Devil:
Soul: I'm a little let down.
Devil: Good.
May 12, 2024 at 10:32 PM
Devil: Is there a problem?
Soul: I was told there is a special place in hell for me. This is just okay.
Devil:
Soul: I'm a little let down.
Devil: Good.
Soul: I was told there is a special place in hell for me. This is just okay.
Devil:
Soul: I'm a little let down.
Devil: Good.
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
"I still believe that the world is flat."
"I can demonstrate that it isn't. Get in that boat and sail away from shore. Keep looking at that lighthouse until it disappears."
"OK. Then what?"
"Keep going."
"I can demonstrate that it isn't. Get in that boat and sail away from shore. Keep looking at that lighthouse until it disappears."
"OK. Then what?"
"Keep going."
March 12, 2025 at 11:12 AM
"I still believe that the world is flat."
"I can demonstrate that it isn't. Get in that boat and sail away from shore. Keep looking at that lighthouse until it disappears."
"OK. Then what?"
"Keep going."
"I can demonstrate that it isn't. Get in that boat and sail away from shore. Keep looking at that lighthouse until it disappears."
"OK. Then what?"
"Keep going."
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
You haven't been reposting me are you OK?
November 10, 2025 at 7:07 PM
You haven't been reposting me are you OK?
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
The overnight process failed and we will need to apply the self loathing manually today.
November 10, 2025 at 6:07 PM
The overnight process failed and we will need to apply the self loathing manually today.
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
Accidentally texted "Olay" instead of "Okay" and now my text has a smooth, youthful look.
November 10, 2025 at 7:53 PM
Accidentally texted "Olay" instead of "Okay" and now my text has a smooth, youthful look.
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
A vile country isn't a country that can't feed its children, a vile country is a country that *won't* feed its children.
November 10, 2025 at 5:35 PM
A vile country isn't a country that can't feed its children, a vile country is a country that *won't* feed its children.
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
Toes ranked:
1. Pota
2. Mistle
3. Tic-Tac
1. Pota
2. Mistle
3. Tic-Tac
November 10, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Toes ranked:
1. Pota
2. Mistle
3. Tic-Tac
1. Pota
2. Mistle
3. Tic-Tac
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
Speed dating is when you have to tell Keanu Reeves a little bit about yourself or this bus will explode
November 10, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Speed dating is when you have to tell Keanu Reeves a little bit about yourself or this bus will explode
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
If I'm gonna pay this much for insurance, something terrible better happen to me or I'm gonna be furious.
November 10, 2025 at 6:49 PM
If I'm gonna pay this much for insurance, something terrible better happen to me or I'm gonna be furious.
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
Them: read it and weep
Me: that’s ok, ill just weep
Me: that’s ok, ill just weep
November 10, 2025 at 4:33 PM
Them: read it and weep
Me: that’s ok, ill just weep
Me: that’s ok, ill just weep
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
Breaking news: scientists discovered that we’ve actually run out of numbers. “We’re fucked” said one mathematician
November 9, 2025 at 6:09 PM
Breaking news: scientists discovered that we’ve actually run out of numbers. “We’re fucked” said one mathematician
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
ridding your throat of phlegm 100 times a day is a dad rite of clearing passage
November 10, 2025 at 6:10 PM
ridding your throat of phlegm 100 times a day is a dad rite of clearing passage
I’m not a fuckboy. I’m a flirtation sensation.
November 10, 2025 at 7:01 PM
I’m not a fuckboy. I’m a flirtation sensation.
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
me, after I try to flirt
a man is carrying a pig on his back while a pig looks on .
Alt: running away scared
media.tenor.com
November 10, 2025 at 6:34 PM
me, after I try to flirt
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
"Yeah, I guess you could say I'm one of those women who gets away with wearing *really tight* clothes"
*- me flirting in my compression socks*
*- me flirting in my compression socks*
July 17, 2025 at 3:27 PM
"Yeah, I guess you could say I'm one of those women who gets away with wearing *really tight* clothes"
*- me flirting in my compression socks*
*- me flirting in my compression socks*
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
i have designated fork, small spoon, big spoon, knife, and spatula spots in the dishwasher basket
(me, flirting)
(me, flirting)
September 15, 2025 at 5:57 PM
i have designated fork, small spoon, big spoon, knife, and spatula spots in the dishwasher basket
(me, flirting)
(me, flirting)
Reposted by 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜
“It’s a dog door, a DOG door. Now, one more time, what are you?”
[sigh] “I’m a horse.”
“That’s right Jim, you’re a horse.”
[sigh] “I’m a horse.”
“That’s right Jim, you’re a horse.”
November 10, 2025 at 5:15 PM
“It’s a dog door, a DOG door. Now, one more time, what are you?”
[sigh] “I’m a horse.”
“That’s right Jim, you’re a horse.”
[sigh] “I’m a horse.”
“That’s right Jim, you’re a horse.”