Midge
@midge.bsky.social
Relentless architect of my own hell
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ekcbouwwcir2eexututpjpp5/feed/aaaouhaovrikw
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ekcbouwwcir2eexututpjpp5/feed/aaaouhaovrikw
Pinned
Midge
@midge.bsky.social
· Jul 1
Stages of life:
1. Birth
2. You gotta be fucking kidding me
3. Death
1. Birth
2. You gotta be fucking kidding me
3. Death
Reposted by Midge
Elon Musk's accomplishments over the last year include starving thousands of people to death (and laughing about it) and creating Hitler AI that undresses children (and laughing about it). Is it time to do something about billionaires yet?
January 2, 2026 at 9:20 PM
Elon Musk's accomplishments over the last year include starving thousands of people to death (and laughing about it) and creating Hitler AI that undresses children (and laughing about it). Is it time to do something about billionaires yet?
Wait, am I supposed to work tomorrow?
January 2, 2026 at 4:03 AM
Wait, am I supposed to work tomorrow?
Reposted by Midge
Me: I need to be productive today
Also me:
Also me:
December 31, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Me: I need to be productive today
Also me:
Also me:
Me: I need to be productive today
Also me:
Also me:
December 31, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Me: I need to be productive today
Also me:
Also me:
Reposted by Midge
Reposted by Midge
A president cannot defend a nation if he is not held accountable to its laws.
December 30, 2025 at 1:54 AM
A president cannot defend a nation if he is not held accountable to its laws.
Reposted by Midge
Is it bad that nobody justifiably believes anything Putin says while the President of the United States believes everything he says?
December 30, 2025 at 1:25 AM
Is it bad that nobody justifiably believes anything Putin says while the President of the United States believes everything he says?
Reposted by Midge
those deer will never see your 5 bean chili comin
December 29, 2025 at 1:04 AM
those deer will never see your 5 bean chili comin
Reposted by Midge
idk, i think it’s eggnog
December 25, 2025 at 2:04 PM
idk, i think it’s eggnog
Reposted by Midge
being a rich tech guy in the 90s must have been so sick. every morning you start a web page that sells ring tones, sell it at lunch for 2 million dollars, get dinner at a “sushi” restaurant and go to a night club wearing a cologne called Apartheid Sapphire
December 27, 2025 at 2:36 AM
being a rich tech guy in the 90s must have been so sick. every morning you start a web page that sells ring tones, sell it at lunch for 2 million dollars, get dinner at a “sushi” restaurant and go to a night club wearing a cologne called Apartheid Sapphire
Reposted by Midge
if i’d been the winter caretaker of the overlook hotel it wouldn’t have gone down like that
December 27, 2025 at 2:15 AM
if i’d been the winter caretaker of the overlook hotel it wouldn’t have gone down like that
Reposted by Midge
They should’ve called them Treese’s
December 4, 2025 at 2:25 AM
They should’ve called them Treese’s
Reposted by Midge
“Break it Down Again” is my favorite Tears for Fears song about recycling all the cardboard boxes
December 26, 2025 at 3:58 AM
“Break it Down Again” is my favorite Tears for Fears song about recycling all the cardboard boxes
Reposted by Midge
We are on year 8 with some of these gift bags and I think that's beautiful
December 25, 2025 at 5:23 PM
We are on year 8 with some of these gift bags and I think that's beautiful
Reposted by Midge
He had salt and pepper hair. And oregano eyebrows. His lips were basil leaves. His entire head was a jar of Italian seasoning
December 6, 2025 at 1:09 PM
He had salt and pepper hair. And oregano eyebrows. His lips were basil leaves. His entire head was a jar of Italian seasoning
Reposted by Midge
Fun game:
Text your mom Christmas afternoon "How many minutes do I microwave a 25lb frozen ham?"
Text your mom Christmas afternoon "How many minutes do I microwave a 25lb frozen ham?"
December 24, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Fun game:
Text your mom Christmas afternoon "How many minutes do I microwave a 25lb frozen ham?"
Text your mom Christmas afternoon "How many minutes do I microwave a 25lb frozen ham?"
Reposted by Midge
thinking about setting the roomba free for the holidays, just opening the door and letting it go (in case its new years resolution is to kill)
December 24, 2025 at 8:00 PM
thinking about setting the roomba free for the holidays, just opening the door and letting it go (in case its new years resolution is to kill)
Reposted by Midge
AI Bro from yesterday blocked me. I get that he was upset that people mocked his profession and said it was bad and useless.
There’s no way that would ever happen to me, someone with a theater degree
There’s no way that would ever happen to me, someone with a theater degree
December 21, 2025 at 7:27 PM
AI Bro from yesterday blocked me. I get that he was upset that people mocked his profession and said it was bad and useless.
There’s no way that would ever happen to me, someone with a theater degree
There’s no way that would ever happen to me, someone with a theater degree
Reposted by Midge
him: license and registration, please
me: *slides him fish*
him: ...
me: *slides him another fish*
him: have a good day, sir
me: *slides him fish*
him: ...
me: *slides him another fish*
him: have a good day, sir
December 26, 2025 at 1:29 PM
him: license and registration, please
me: *slides him fish*
him: ...
me: *slides him another fish*
him: have a good day, sir
me: *slides him fish*
him: ...
me: *slides him another fish*
him: have a good day, sir
Reposted by Midge
decades-long manhunt finally ends
May 29, 2025 at 12:30 PM
decades-long manhunt finally ends
4. Too late
Stages of holiday shopping
1. Plenty of time
2. Gifts for myself
3. Oh no
1. Plenty of time
2. Gifts for myself
3. Oh no
December 26, 2025 at 7:54 PM
4. Too late
Reposted by Midge
We should track Santa all the time not just Christmas Eve
December 26, 2025 at 2:42 AM
We should track Santa all the time not just Christmas Eve
Reposted by Midge
My parents are “oh yeah, I forgot to tell you I had surgery yesterday” years old
August 2, 2023 at 2:14 PM
My parents are “oh yeah, I forgot to tell you I had surgery yesterday” years old
“Break it Down Again” is my favorite Tears for Fears song about recycling all the cardboard boxes
December 26, 2025 at 3:58 AM
“Break it Down Again” is my favorite Tears for Fears song about recycling all the cardboard boxes
Just realized that there is an uncomfortable amount of fat shaming in Love Actually
December 26, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Just realized that there is an uncomfortable amount of fat shaming in Love Actually