Uncle Duke
banner
uncleduke1969.bsky.social
Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
Pinned
omg they even ate the bones
my grandmother died in 1992 so i have no idea if i’ve continued to get more handsome since then
February 10, 2026 at 1:49 PM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
i think they’re being overly optimistic regarding the canine literacy rate
February 9, 2026 at 2:10 PM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
the use of performance enhancing drugs by olympic athletes is getting out of hand
February 9, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
𝘉𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘞𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳 by the Doobie Brothers is my favorite song about coffee.
February 9, 2026 at 10:19 AM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
This is one of those ‘if I wake up dead tomorrow it will still be a better day than today’ kind of days.
February 9, 2026 at 2:10 PM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
The faculty demanded I defend my dissertation. They seemed less enthusiastic about it once I started swinging the nunchucks.
February 9, 2026 at 2:48 PM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
the worst human art is still better than any AI art
February 8, 2026 at 7:54 AM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
An opinion I pretty firmly hold is that everyone should make a song, paint a painting, act in something, and write a book even if all of those things end up being objectively terrible
February 8, 2026 at 5:41 AM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
Our very first Bring Your Pet to the Zoo Day will also be our very last Bring Your Pet to the Zoo Day. We don’t know what we were thinking.
February 10, 2026 at 6:37 AM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
selling my cemetery plot, i'm just not getting as much use out of it these days as i expected
January 30, 2026 at 5:43 AM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
i know i said that my posts wouldn't be so cringe if bluesky had a drafts folder, but i was lying
February 9, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
i don’t need to have drafts to produce quality posts
February 9, 2026 at 10:25 PM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
Mambo #5 was the confession of a serial killer
February 6, 2026 at 4:18 PM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
Wind chimes like awkward singing for the gathering of pendulums, which is called a murder of the earth's rotation the musical
February 10, 2026 at 5:40 AM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
*to Cupid* Just the normal arrows, big dawg
February 9, 2026 at 11:56 PM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
My husband thinks I’m trying to seduce him by doing a sexy dance in the hallway, but I’m really just using a tennis ball to work a knot out of my shoulder.
February 9, 2026 at 4:14 PM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
This day in history. 60. The apostle Paul was shipwrecked off the coast of Malta and was bitten by a viper and the viper died not he so the islanders thought he was a god and became Christians but when a budgie bit me and died the Church of Jim lost congregants which hardly seems fair really.
February 10, 2026 at 9:25 AM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
I’m a person of a certain age.

Isn’t everyone?
February 10, 2026 at 10:53 AM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
As a child I ate the flesh-colored crayola and this is my cannibal origin story.
February 9, 2026 at 6:17 PM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
This carpet is super fancy! A shag?

This carpet is super! Fancy a shag?

Punctuation matters.
February 9, 2026 at 11:51 PM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
Just so we're all clear, the plural of Roomba is Roombae 

Receptionist quietly into phone: Security? Yeah. He's back
February 9, 2026 at 8:00 PM
It was Fred Spork. All it took was a simple Google search. C’mon man, put in the effort.
February 10, 2026 at 1:31 PM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
It would be cool in the afterlife if you got to sit down for dinner conversations with brilliant inventors like Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Edison and whoever came up with the spork.
February 10, 2026 at 12:42 AM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
ME: it’s not delivery it’s digiorno

HOSPITAL NURSE: um ok let’s get your wife to the digiorno room
February 10, 2026 at 1:13 AM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
the movies we truly deserve: thread
February 7, 2026 at 8:33 PM