Uncle Duke
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uncleduke1969.bsky.social
Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
Pinned
omg they even ate the bones
me: they’re just-
wife: don’t say it
me: ...
wife: I mean it
me: ...
wife: ...
me: lion there
February 11, 2026 at 1:39 PM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
my grandmother died in 1992 so i have no idea if i’ve continued to get more handsome since then
February 10, 2026 at 1:49 PM
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[Olympic tryouts]

“Your event?”
“Downhill.”
“Skiing?”
“No. Just going downhill.”
“Huh?”
“Here’s my resume and a picture of me in college.”
February 10, 2026 at 6:08 PM
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You can't get inside a television anymore since ratings for the third dimension went sideways but we'll always remember how the dotted lines behind Three's Company represented when we should laugh
February 11, 2026 at 5:46 AM
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If I'm so dumb how does my body know when it's a full moon
February 10, 2026 at 2:20 PM
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Elon Musk when he realizes putting people on the moon is difficult: Within 10 years we will put humans in Delaware
February 10, 2026 at 1:26 AM
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[gang fight]

ME: *folds shawl* ok so no tickling right
February 10, 2026 at 6:18 PM
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Me: Invest all my savings in cryptocurrency

Financial Advisor: Do you understand cryptocurrency?

Me (picturing the cryptkeeper's face on all currency): 100%
August 4, 2025 at 6:32 PM
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we never drank water growing up i don’t even know how im alive right now
August 19, 2023 at 12:33 PM
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[pulitzer prize ceremony]

Son: I'd like to dedicate this to my father

[camera cuts to me eating corn nuts in a darth vader t-shirt]
February 11, 2026 at 2:21 AM
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I tell my wife I'm the boss like every husband does.

Quietly whispered to myself when I'm absolutely certain she's out of earshot.
February 10, 2026 at 2:23 PM
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I wear my heart on my sleeve, my anxiety on my face and my bog witchness in my hair
February 10, 2026 at 3:11 PM
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It is remarkable when a new person enters your world in a way that you’ve never witnessed before.

Like coming up through the floor…
February 10, 2026 at 3:20 PM
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A magical package arrived today from up north and I love him very much. He is a @geraldinepiche.bsky.social original and an amazing gift that’s striking in person. If you don’t already, support their art and them (THEM!) because they’re very talented and kind and I promise you’ll love what you see.
February 10, 2026 at 11:30 PM
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look i'm no olympian but one time a random guy on the internet offered to give me one of his teeth, which is not nothin
February 10, 2026 at 7:02 PM
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(guy who just remembered recency bias) that's probably recency bias
June 22, 2024 at 9:57 PM
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I think we should each be allowed to choose one detachable body part.
February 10, 2026 at 3:28 AM
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And then, he was a Good Bunny. A very Good Bunny.

The End.
February 9, 2026 at 1:34 AM
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The delicate balance between staying informed and loosing your goddamned mind
January 25, 2026 at 11:19 AM
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I parallel parked so bad that I had to leave and find a new space.
January 11, 2026 at 4:08 PM
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That Italian woman just won a speed skating gold on her 35th birthday. I pulled a hammy reaching for the Tums this morning
February 7, 2026 at 4:23 PM
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This day in history. 1964. The Australian aircraft carrier HMAS Melbourne collided with and sank Australian destroyer HMAS Voyager. After two Royal Commissions were held to investigate the incident the Melbourne collided with and sank American destroyer USS Frank E. Evans. Progress.
February 11, 2026 at 10:27 AM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
Excuse me, do you have a Valentine's Day card that plays "Dust in the Wind"?
February 10, 2026 at 11:33 PM
Reposted by Uncle Duke
Do people who eat cookie dough know that you can just bake that shit and eat an actual cookie?
February 11, 2026 at 12:38 PM
[Olympic tryouts]

“Your event?”
“Downhill.”
“Skiing?”
“No. Just going downhill.”
“Huh?”
“Here’s my resume and a picture of me in college.”
February 10, 2026 at 6:08 PM