donni saphire
@donni.bsky.social
Chicago if it matters. Dive bar comedy vet. Only seem calm because I’m exhausted. Thinking about some new shirts
The computer and the phone have ruined our brains. People in the 80s were stupid and angry in a much more natural way
January 6, 2026 at 5:49 AM
The computer and the phone have ruined our brains. People in the 80s were stupid and angry in a much more natural way
Reposted by donni saphire
bro did you seriously not heed the teachings of yore
January 6, 2026 at 4:20 AM
bro did you seriously not heed the teachings of yore
No offense, bro, but you’re being a detestable slithering creature right now. A snake demon of sorts
January 5, 2026 at 11:38 PM
No offense, bro, but you’re being a detestable slithering creature right now. A snake demon of sorts
Reposted by donni saphire
“Why are you posting about X?”
to piss you off. because I dislike you personally and specifically. I was hoping it would bother you
to piss you off. because I dislike you personally and specifically. I was hoping it would bother you
January 5, 2026 at 7:21 PM
“Why are you posting about X?”
to piss you off. because I dislike you personally and specifically. I was hoping it would bother you
to piss you off. because I dislike you personally and specifically. I was hoping it would bother you
It’s OK for me to say stupid stuff, because I am stupid and it is my culture
January 5, 2026 at 5:40 AM
It’s OK for me to say stupid stuff, because I am stupid and it is my culture
Reposted by donni saphire
they say julius caesar once dropped to his knees and wept in front of a statue of homer simpson for he had not yet accomplished a fraction of what homer had at his age
January 5, 2026 at 3:31 AM
they say julius caesar once dropped to his knees and wept in front of a statue of homer simpson for he had not yet accomplished a fraction of what homer had at his age
Potty training a toddler as the rule of law crumbles…how much longer will we even use potties
January 5, 2026 at 2:51 AM
Potty training a toddler as the rule of law crumbles…how much longer will we even use potties
What’s next, some more evil shit that sucks and can’t be ignored
January 4, 2026 at 2:14 AM
What’s next, some more evil shit that sucks and can’t be ignored
“Sorry, you met me at a weird time in my life." -Me meeting anyone at any time in my life
January 3, 2026 at 5:09 AM
“Sorry, you met me at a weird time in my life." -Me meeting anyone at any time in my life
Reposted by donni saphire
tech fan: my phone tells me when i’m thirsty
weathered sea captain: dolphins are the devil’s children
weathered sea captain: dolphins are the devil’s children
January 3, 2026 at 2:34 AM
tech fan: my phone tells me when i’m thirsty
weathered sea captain: dolphins are the devil’s children
weathered sea captain: dolphins are the devil’s children
Everyone is always mad now. Smart people for smart reasons, stupid people for stupid reasons, squirrels for squirrel reasons
January 2, 2026 at 10:53 PM
Everyone is always mad now. Smart people for smart reasons, stupid people for stupid reasons, squirrels for squirrel reasons
Reposted by donni saphire
God really made sea lions like “what if a wet banana could scream”
January 2, 2026 at 8:57 PM
God really made sea lions like “what if a wet banana could scream”
Sure, I could “work on myself.” Or I could fake my own death and start a new life at sea
January 2, 2026 at 1:36 AM
Sure, I could “work on myself.” Or I could fake my own death and start a new life at sea
Reposted by donni saphire
costco should give you half off all alcohol you consume while shopping
December 26, 2025 at 10:58 PM
costco should give you half off all alcohol you consume while shopping
This might be the year you do that thing! I mean, every year could be the year, and this is one
January 1, 2026 at 3:32 AM
This might be the year you do that thing! I mean, every year could be the year, and this is one
I’ve seen so many people get dumber and weirder over the years, and yet I only became smarter and more beautiful
December 31, 2025 at 11:45 PM
I’ve seen so many people get dumber and weirder over the years, and yet I only became smarter and more beautiful
Reposted by donni saphire
Ah the familiar nye panic of not wanting to go anywhere and feeling guilty / trying to convince myself to go out and feeling anxious
December 31, 2025 at 9:37 PM
Ah the familiar nye panic of not wanting to go anywhere and feeling guilty / trying to convince myself to go out and feeling anxious
They should make a movie where everything is fine. A nice little escapist fantasy
December 31, 2025 at 5:58 AM
They should make a movie where everything is fine. A nice little escapist fantasy
Reposted by donni saphire
Today someone introduced me to a horse doctor and it was just some guy who treats horses. I’ve never been more disappointed
December 21, 2025 at 2:30 AM
Today someone introduced me to a horse doctor and it was just some guy who treats horses. I’ve never been more disappointed
So many bangers but always a huge fan of Andrew Jackson voice
![A tweet by @animaldrumss that reads: A ticket? Maybe former President Andrew Jackson can change your mind… [in andrew Jackson voice] Don’t give Mike the ticket, hes a good kid](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:fzcqe6kfjyhddcdblutnm6pz/bafkreia2pslk77vd75qti5jesout2axfpjhm5j4et764k3tvfhyqmq2byy@jpeg)
December 31, 2025 at 1:41 AM
So many bangers but always a huge fan of Andrew Jackson voice
I choose to be cheerful simply to confuse and upset my haters
December 31, 2025 at 12:04 AM
I choose to be cheerful simply to confuse and upset my haters
Reposted by donni saphire
I'm pretty good at emerging from stuff. Shadows, fog, murky water - I'll emerge from them all
December 30, 2025 at 10:30 PM
I'm pretty good at emerging from stuff. Shadows, fog, murky water - I'll emerge from them all
I leave very small hats in strategic locations for chilly bugs
December 30, 2025 at 5:54 AM
I leave very small hats in strategic locations for chilly bugs
Reposted by donni saphire
Probably the worst part of being a mouse is having to act happy about sleeping in a sardine can
December 28, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Probably the worst part of being a mouse is having to act happy about sleeping in a sardine can
I don’t need to explain myself to you! And I can’t. I’m a mystery to us all
December 30, 2025 at 4:03 AM
I don’t need to explain myself to you! And I can’t. I’m a mystery to us all