Reposted by mindflakes
A good day for my favorite hobby. Walking around with an inexplicable limp, pointing at strangers, yelling, "you there!", then shuffling off without any follow up.
December 25, 2024 at 6:17 PM
A good day for my favorite hobby. Walking around with an inexplicable limp, pointing at strangers, yelling, "you there!", then shuffling off without any follow up.
Reposted by mindflakes
Travel Tip: before leaving for a vacation or even a long weekend away, remember to pull off a vent cover and pour in a bag or two of House Food
May 19, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Travel Tip: before leaving for a vacation or even a long weekend away, remember to pull off a vent cover and pour in a bag or two of House Food
A good relationship is all about anticipating wants and needs. Pay attention to when they want to socialise and when they need their space. You'll also need to balance the temperature and humidity in their terrarium, and remember to hand-feed them live crickets at least once a day.
December 26, 2025 at 1:40 PM
A good relationship is all about anticipating wants and needs. Pay attention to when they want to socialise and when they need their space. You'll also need to balance the temperature and humidity in their terrarium, and remember to hand-feed them live crickets at least once a day.
Reposted by mindflakes
sure why not i’ll have another loaf of cheese
December 23, 2025 at 11:20 PM
sure why not i’ll have another loaf of cheese
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you know, these days, many people time of year. but this season, try when to everything a special time — it just might become which with you
December 25, 2025 at 8:07 PM
you know, these days, many people time of year. but this season, try when to everything a special time — it just might become which with you
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Some chefs throw away the garlic paper. But, in my opinion, that’s the paperiest part of the garlic
December 21, 2025 at 9:45 PM
Some chefs throw away the garlic paper. But, in my opinion, that’s the paperiest part of the garlic
Congratulations to me for eating 24 mini muffins then falling asleep in a revolving door
December 25, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Congratulations to me for eating 24 mini muffins then falling asleep in a revolving door
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sometimes i get REALLY sleepy - like ‘time to go to bed’ level sleepy
November 25, 2025 at 7:36 PM
sometimes i get REALLY sleepy - like ‘time to go to bed’ level sleepy
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Vultures are innocent. They are actually kind heroes. I’m considering abandoning my life to focus on vultures full time. Could this be a bad idea? No
November 26, 2025 at 7:01 AM
Vultures are innocent. They are actually kind heroes. I’m considering abandoning my life to focus on vultures full time. Could this be a bad idea? No
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this one sorcerer who lives across the street keeps casting a spell that changes my opinions about stuff and i love it
September 8, 2024 at 12:44 AM
this one sorcerer who lives across the street keeps casting a spell that changes my opinions about stuff and i love it
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The trick to garlic bread is to make at least 5 times too much of it then eat it all hunched over in the corner of the basement like a rat
November 16, 2024 at 3:16 PM
The trick to garlic bread is to make at least 5 times too much of it then eat it all hunched over in the corner of the basement like a rat
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my love language is lurking ominously in shallow water
November 29, 2025 at 11:47 PM
my love language is lurking ominously in shallow water
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You haven't heard music until you've listened to it on a flatscreen
December 1, 2025 at 11:14 PM
You haven't heard music until you've listened to it on a flatscreen
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i amount of butter i purchased at costco appeared to unnerve and frighten the other shoppers
December 12, 2025 at 5:34 PM
i amount of butter i purchased at costco appeared to unnerve and frighten the other shoppers
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More things should have surprise geode-like interiors when you crack them open
October 7, 2025 at 4:32 AM
More things should have surprise geode-like interiors when you crack them open
If you wear a hoodie backwards you can fill the hood with beef stroganoff and eat out of it like a feedbag
December 24, 2025 at 5:57 PM
If you wear a hoodie backwards you can fill the hood with beef stroganoff and eat out of it like a feedbag
Reposted by mindflakes
Eating all the pine needles off the floor as a child helped me develop the thick waxy coating I have today
December 23, 2025 at 11:49 PM
Eating all the pine needles off the floor as a child helped me develop the thick waxy coating I have today
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My best friend at work is the vending machine by the breakroom that steals people's money
December 24, 2025 at 4:53 AM
My best friend at work is the vending machine by the breakroom that steals people's money
Reposted by mindflakes
Everything alive in the Devonian period tried too hard. “Ooo, look at me, I’m a weird elongated pentagon” Shut up!
March 30, 2024 at 5:52 AM
Everything alive in the Devonian period tried too hard. “Ooo, look at me, I’m a weird elongated pentagon” Shut up!
Just set my email autoreply to the word DON'T in 72pt bold caps
December 24, 2025 at 12:41 PM
Just set my email autoreply to the word DON'T in 72pt bold caps
Reposted by mindflakes
a strong gust wind just blew me away. oh who am i kidding. the gust was feeble
October 23, 2024 at 7:26 PM
a strong gust wind just blew me away. oh who am i kidding. the gust was feeble
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I like when a chess game is over and the captured pieces can finally return to their homelands
December 13, 2025 at 11:31 PM
I like when a chess game is over and the captured pieces can finally return to their homelands
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My many enemies will be furious to know that I found a luxurious new hat at the bus station
December 12, 2024 at 12:49 PM
My many enemies will be furious to know that I found a luxurious new hat at the bus station
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(living an unexamined life) yaaaaaay haha yay wheeeeee
December 4, 2025 at 1:44 AM
(living an unexamined life) yaaaaaay haha yay wheeeeee
Reposted by mindflakes
SUPERVISOR: I need to speak with some of you in my office
ME: [filling the water cooler with spaghetti] whomst
ME: [filling the water cooler with spaghetti] whomst
December 23, 2025 at 6:42 PM
SUPERVISOR: I need to speak with some of you in my office
ME: [filling the water cooler with spaghetti] whomst
ME: [filling the water cooler with spaghetti] whomst