Pinned
It's unforgivable that we let plaid shirts with ripped jeans become the default uniform of men when it used to be the most reliable way of identifying who's secretly a werewolf.
Listen. I'm just trying to relax, kick back, let a bunch of insects bite and sting me. But all anybody ever wants to talk about is Schmidt's pain scale. Cram it, nerds. I don't care about any of that. I do this for the love of the sport.
November 13, 2025 at 8:53 PM
Listen. I'm just trying to relax, kick back, let a bunch of insects bite and sting me. But all anybody ever wants to talk about is Schmidt's pain scale. Cram it, nerds. I don't care about any of that. I do this for the love of the sport.
Okay, that's a good start. Now release the Kelly Rowland Excel Spreadsheets.
November 13, 2025 at 9:46 AM
Okay, that's a good start. Now release the Kelly Rowland Excel Spreadsheets.
Reposted by Steven (with a PH)
TV conspiracies: we’ve hacked their computers but they’ve perfectly cleaned up the evidence!
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
November 12, 2025 at 8:19 PM
TV conspiracies: we’ve hacked their computers but they’ve perfectly cleaned up the evidence!
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
Real conspiracies:
To: conspirator
From: famous person
Attachment: evidence.png
Reposted by Steven (with a PH)
Frankenstein is a metaphor for the dangers of reanimating corpses with electricity
November 13, 2025 at 4:11 AM
Frankenstein is a metaphor for the dangers of reanimating corpses with electricity
As somebody who loves to rotate and inspect objects, videogames have really allowed me to safely live out my wildest dreams.
November 12, 2025 at 8:53 PM
As somebody who loves to rotate and inspect objects, videogames have really allowed me to safely live out my wildest dreams.
Fire has no right smelling so good. Just a top tier scent. Your empire could be in ashes and the firemen are probably stood around huffing it in, saying it's the best part of their job.
November 12, 2025 at 2:16 PM
Fire has no right smelling so good. Just a top tier scent. Your empire could be in ashes and the firemen are probably stood around huffing it in, saying it's the best part of their job.
Got fired from the library because I spent our entire annual budget on some ancient Latin demonology books but they're going to be invaluable when a local couple comes in looking for answers because their kid is behaving like a spooky old bastard.
November 11, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Got fired from the library because I spent our entire annual budget on some ancient Latin demonology books but they're going to be invaluable when a local couple comes in looking for answers because their kid is behaving like a spooky old bastard.
Reposted by Steven (with a PH)
Dialogue from the original Rated M first person shooter KILL NUDE MEN:
- I must kill nude men.
- Hm. Low on ammo.
- Getting low on health.
- Where are they all coming from?
- I can see everything.
- I must kill nude men.
- Hm. Low on ammo.
- Getting low on health.
- Where are they all coming from?
- I can see everything.
June 26, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Dialogue from the original Rated M first person shooter KILL NUDE MEN:
- I must kill nude men.
- Hm. Low on ammo.
- Getting low on health.
- Where are they all coming from?
- I can see everything.
- I must kill nude men.
- Hm. Low on ammo.
- Getting low on health.
- Where are they all coming from?
- I can see everything.
Love a Haka but it is just 15 burly men doing the Backstreet's Back dance at you. I'm sure you're all very scary at Rugby but right now you're doing Fosse hands.
November 11, 2025 at 12:19 PM
Love a Haka but it is just 15 burly men doing the Backstreet's Back dance at you. I'm sure you're all very scary at Rugby but right now you're doing Fosse hands.
Reposted by Steven (with a PH)
Joyce Carol Oates should say he can't do backflips off the roof next
November 11, 2025 at 5:41 AM
Joyce Carol Oates should say he can't do backflips off the roof next
And when there were twenty-three pairs of footprints in the sand?
It was then that you were a member of The Polyphonic Spree.
It was then that you were a member of The Polyphonic Spree.
November 11, 2025 at 7:49 AM
And when there were twenty-three pairs of footprints in the sand?
It was then that you were a member of The Polyphonic Spree.
It was then that you were a member of The Polyphonic Spree.
Reposted by Steven (with a PH)
A jury of my peers? 12 emotionally available sweethearts?!
November 10, 2025 at 12:56 PM
A jury of my peers? 12 emotionally available sweethearts?!
Reposted by Steven (with a PH)
Was admiring one of those Christmas model villages watching the clockwork townsfolk going about their merry routines when my wife said to me 'What if people's souls are trapped in the figures and this is their hell?' which isn't something I've worried about before but is all I will worry about now.
November 10, 2025 at 3:14 PM
Was admiring one of those Christmas model villages watching the clockwork townsfolk going about their merry routines when my wife said to me 'What if people's souls are trapped in the figures and this is their hell?' which isn't something I've worried about before but is all I will worry about now.
Asked a fella for directions just now and he said 'You're just gonna want to keep going until you get there...' and whilst I suppose that is true it isn't helpful. I'm trying to find a building, not enlightenment.
November 10, 2025 at 8:00 AM
Asked a fella for directions just now and he said 'You're just gonna want to keep going until you get there...' and whilst I suppose that is true it isn't helpful. I'm trying to find a building, not enlightenment.
It's a shame that pregnancy has such a stranglehold on peeing on a stick based revelations. More things should be confirmed by peeing on a stick.
November 9, 2025 at 9:07 PM
It's a shame that pregnancy has such a stranglehold on peeing on a stick based revelations. More things should be confirmed by peeing on a stick.
Reposted by Steven (with a PH)
We didn’t need all these biographical Willy Wonka movies about who he is as a person. In the older versions, he’s obviously God or the Devil. You’re supposed to spend the entire story wondering which one and gradually become worried they’re the same being
February 28, 2024 at 4:10 PM
We didn’t need all these biographical Willy Wonka movies about who he is as a person. In the older versions, he’s obviously God or the Devil. You’re supposed to spend the entire story wondering which one and gradually become worried they’re the same being
Reposted by Steven (with a PH)
Awkward. Accidentaly said "you too" to a coworker who said "sorry for your loss", and now I have to kill one of their loved ones to save face.
November 8, 2025 at 6:59 PM
Awkward. Accidentaly said "you too" to a coworker who said "sorry for your loss", and now I have to kill one of their loved ones to save face.
Reposted by Steven (with a PH)
I made a “how do you do, fellow kids?” joke to someone in their mid 20s who, it turns out, was too young to have heard of that meme.
So “how do you do, fellow kids?” is now an example of “how do you do, fellow kids?”
So “how do you do, fellow kids?” is now an example of “how do you do, fellow kids?”
November 7, 2025 at 5:28 PM
I made a “how do you do, fellow kids?” joke to someone in their mid 20s who, it turns out, was too young to have heard of that meme.
So “how do you do, fellow kids?” is now an example of “how do you do, fellow kids?”
So “how do you do, fellow kids?” is now an example of “how do you do, fellow kids?”
Always hated it when I was upset and my mum would say 'I'll give you something to cry about...' and then she'd make me watch The Green Mile.
November 8, 2025 at 2:47 PM
Always hated it when I was upset and my mum would say 'I'll give you something to cry about...' and then she'd make me watch The Green Mile.
Reposted by Steven (with a PH)
more foods shuold tell your fortune
November 7, 2025 at 11:29 PM
more foods shuold tell your fortune
Reposted by Steven (with a PH)
The diagram for what Palantir does is like if Richard Scarry got super paranoid and did an Apocalypse picture book
November 7, 2025 at 8:14 PM
The diagram for what Palantir does is like if Richard Scarry got super paranoid and did an Apocalypse picture book
There are only two videogame genres now and they are 'Revenge Will Not Satisfy You' and 'TO DO LIST MADNESS!!!'
November 7, 2025 at 8:40 PM
There are only two videogame genres now and they are 'Revenge Will Not Satisfy You' and 'TO DO LIST MADNESS!!!'
I've invented a time machine but it only lets you travel sideways in time. I'm experiencing right now, but from slightly further away.
November 7, 2025 at 6:41 PM
I've invented a time machine but it only lets you travel sideways in time. I'm experiencing right now, but from slightly further away.
Everybody wants to celebrate the boys being back in town, nobody wants to examine the circumstances that forced the boys to leave in the first place.
November 6, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Everybody wants to celebrate the boys being back in town, nobody wants to examine the circumstances that forced the boys to leave in the first place.