Davoid
@davoid.bsky.social
Crickets' Choice award winner
M'brain woimz: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaagfqyoyn76q
M'brain woimz: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaagfqyoyn76q
Pinned
Davoid
@davoid.bsky.social
· Aug 24
Me: I’d like to solve the puzzle
Pat Sajak: Go ahead
Me: I didn’t say I could
Pat Sajak: Go ahead
Me: I didn’t say I could
Reposted by Davoid
BLIND WITH RAGE: The Helen Killer Story
December 26, 2025 at 9:00 PM
BLIND WITH RAGE: The Helen Killer Story
Reposted by Davoid
2026 PIN number sounding ass year. That's my freaking PIN number
December 27, 2025 at 1:03 AM
2026 PIN number sounding ass year. That's my freaking PIN number
Reposted by Davoid
friend: i didn't know you used to be a professional board game player
me: it's true, i have a checkered past
me: it's true, i have a checkered past
December 27, 2025 at 2:35 AM
friend: i didn't know you used to be a professional board game player
me: it's true, i have a checkered past
me: it's true, i have a checkered past
Reposted by Davoid
You can pretend to have your shit together if you want. They don’t really check
December 26, 2025 at 1:51 AM
You can pretend to have your shit together if you want. They don’t really check
I caught a My Bloody Valentine show in Philly, 1992. The opening act was a very milquetoast local band who, after a few uninspired numbers, introduced themselves as Our Fading Smiles.
“OURS TOO.” my buddy called out. From the front row.
“OURS TOO.” my buddy called out. From the front row.
What's an insult you'll never forget?
December 26, 2025 at 7:05 AM
I caught a My Bloody Valentine show in Philly, 1992. The opening act was a very milquetoast local band who, after a few uninspired numbers, introduced themselves as Our Fading Smiles.
“OURS TOO.” my buddy called out. From the front row.
“OURS TOO.” my buddy called out. From the front row.
Reposted by Davoid
(using a mirror to peer over defilade) damn.. he's still there. maybe if— (i see the mime notice my mirror's glint and very convincingly pretend to fire a rifle. like, you can see the weight of it and the thud of the kickback. i can't help but let the mirror blast out of my hand) fuck. we gotta move
December 25, 2025 at 7:20 PM
(using a mirror to peer over defilade) damn.. he's still there. maybe if— (i see the mime notice my mirror's glint and very convincingly pretend to fire a rifle. like, you can see the weight of it and the thud of the kickback. i can't help but let the mirror blast out of my hand) fuck. we gotta move
Reposted by Davoid
kill fascism
fuck hate
marry xmas
fuck hate
marry xmas
December 25, 2025 at 6:56 PM
kill fascism
fuck hate
marry xmas
fuck hate
marry xmas
Reposted by Davoid
🎵Last Christmas you let out a fart,
I posted about it, it got a few "Hearts." ❤️
You had said be discreet,
But I sent out that Skeet,
Now you're living with someone better. 🎵😕
I posted about it, it got a few "Hearts." ❤️
You had said be discreet,
But I sent out that Skeet,
Now you're living with someone better. 🎵😕
My gal just accidentally let out a fart in front of everyone this Christmas morning and now the room won't stop laughing. I'm not sure what's in this box I'm gonna open, but that was already the best Christmas gift ever.
December 25, 2025 at 4:17 PM
🎵Last Christmas you let out a fart,
I posted about it, it got a few "Hearts." ❤️
You had said be discreet,
But I sent out that Skeet,
Now you're living with someone better. 🎵😕
I posted about it, it got a few "Hearts." ❤️
You had said be discreet,
But I sent out that Skeet,
Now you're living with someone better. 🎵😕
Reposted by Davoid
Opening a present, expressionless, walking to the stereo, playing "you can't always get what you want"
December 25, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Opening a present, expressionless, walking to the stereo, playing "you can't always get what you want"
Reposted by Davoid
getting into the holiday spirit and putting little santa hat on all the turds before flushing them down the "chimney"
December 25, 2025 at 5:34 PM
getting into the holiday spirit and putting little santa hat on all the turds before flushing them down the "chimney"
Reposted by Davoid
another year with no pygmy goat shaped packages under the tree 😔
December 25, 2025 at 3:35 PM
another year with no pygmy goat shaped packages under the tree 😔
Reposted by Davoid
hope my boss doesn’t already have this ancient curse
December 25, 2025 at 3:30 PM
hope my boss doesn’t already have this ancient curse
Reposted by Davoid
I hope Santa brought that Cambodian fuck swing that you wanted
December 25, 2025 at 3:21 PM
I hope Santa brought that Cambodian fuck swing that you wanted
Reposted by Davoid
Threatening my detractors with biblically accurate hand jobs.
December 25, 2025 at 8:10 AM
Threatening my detractors with biblically accurate hand jobs.
Reposted by Davoid
*at a christmas party* oh Rudolph is your favorite reindeer? That’s cool yeah yeah he’s pretty great
*in reindeer chat*
BlitzenBoy92: at the work thinh. take a guess
DonnerTime: buncha dolphies?
VixenLover: fuckin lame bro just keep ur cool change the subject
The Dasher Enjoyer: thinh
*in reindeer chat*
BlitzenBoy92: at the work thinh. take a guess
DonnerTime: buncha dolphies?
VixenLover: fuckin lame bro just keep ur cool change the subject
The Dasher Enjoyer: thinh
December 25, 2025 at 4:14 AM
*at a christmas party* oh Rudolph is your favorite reindeer? That’s cool yeah yeah he’s pretty great
*in reindeer chat*
BlitzenBoy92: at the work thinh. take a guess
DonnerTime: buncha dolphies?
VixenLover: fuckin lame bro just keep ur cool change the subject
The Dasher Enjoyer: thinh
*in reindeer chat*
BlitzenBoy92: at the work thinh. take a guess
DonnerTime: buncha dolphies?
VixenLover: fuckin lame bro just keep ur cool change the subject
The Dasher Enjoyer: thinh
Reposted by Davoid
When you forget to buy a stocking stuffer and have to cram in a regular present instead
December 12, 2023 at 2:37 AM
When you forget to buy a stocking stuffer and have to cram in a regular present instead
Reposted by Davoid
Leaving out a severed horse's head on a plate as a message for Santa
December 25, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Leaving out a severed horse's head on a plate as a message for Santa
Reposted by Davoid
[Gently waking my Mom] Mariah Carey wants me for Christmas.
December 6, 2024 at 8:46 AM
[Gently waking my Mom] Mariah Carey wants me for Christmas.
This interpretive dance is called I’m A Cat And I Must Walk Across The Wrapping Paper
December 25, 2025 at 2:41 AM
This interpretive dance is called I’m A Cat And I Must Walk Across The Wrapping Paper
Reposted by Davoid
SUPERVISOR: I need to speak with some of you in my office
ME: [filling the water cooler with spaghetti] whomst
ME: [filling the water cooler with spaghetti] whomst
December 23, 2025 at 6:42 PM
SUPERVISOR: I need to speak with some of you in my office
ME: [filling the water cooler with spaghetti] whomst
ME: [filling the water cooler with spaghetti] whomst
Reposted by Davoid
James Merril’s poem “Christmas Tree,” written while he was dying of AIDS. 1995.
December 24, 2025 at 1:43 PM
James Merril’s poem “Christmas Tree,” written while he was dying of AIDS. 1995.
Reposted by Davoid
LITTLE LAMB: do you hear what i hear
SHEPHERD BOY: holy shit a talking lamb
SHEPHERD BOY: holy shit a talking lamb
December 22, 2025 at 3:40 PM
LITTLE LAMB: do you hear what i hear
SHEPHERD BOY: holy shit a talking lamb
SHEPHERD BOY: holy shit a talking lamb
Reposted by Davoid
Reposted by Davoid
Reminder: This has been debunked. he was scooping the food back into the tray
December 24, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Reminder: This has been debunked. he was scooping the food back into the tray
Twas the night before Christmas and two creatures were stirrin dat mac & cheese NAMSAYINN???
December 24, 2025 at 7:39 PM
Twas the night before Christmas and two creatures were stirrin dat mac & cheese NAMSAYINN???