Davoid
@davoid.bsky.social
Crickets' Choice award winner
M'brain woimz: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaagfqyoyn76q
M'brain woimz: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaagfqyoyn76q
Pinned
Davoid
@davoid.bsky.social
· Aug 24
Me: I’d like to solve the puzzle
Pat Sajak: Go ahead
Me: I didn’t say I could
Pat Sajak: Go ahead
Me: I didn’t say I could
Reposted by Davoid
sees man in trousers, vest, jacket & tie . follows suit . folks,,
February 11, 2026 at 9:18 PM
sees man in trousers, vest, jacket & tie . follows suit . folks,,
Reposted by Davoid
Her: I didn’t shave, I hope you don’t mind
Me:
Me:
February 10, 2026 at 4:53 PM
Her: I didn’t shave, I hope you don’t mind
Me:
Me:
Reposted by Davoid
(pouring jack daniels into personalized champagne flutes) let’s make this animal house an animal home
February 11, 2026 at 2:01 AM
(pouring jack daniels into personalized champagne flutes) let’s make this animal house an animal home
Reposted by Davoid
voice on tape: HELLO DIPSHIT
you: oh no. i got captured by Mean Jigsaw
voice: DO YOU WANT TO PLAY A GAME. OR ARE YOU TOO BUSY BEING POOR
you: Mean Jigsaw stop
you: oh no. i got captured by Mean Jigsaw
voice: DO YOU WANT TO PLAY A GAME. OR ARE YOU TOO BUSY BEING POOR
you: Mean Jigsaw stop
February 10, 2026 at 12:03 AM
voice on tape: HELLO DIPSHIT
you: oh no. i got captured by Mean Jigsaw
voice: DO YOU WANT TO PLAY A GAME. OR ARE YOU TOO BUSY BEING POOR
you: Mean Jigsaw stop
you: oh no. i got captured by Mean Jigsaw
voice: DO YOU WANT TO PLAY A GAME. OR ARE YOU TOO BUSY BEING POOR
you: Mean Jigsaw stop
Reposted by Davoid
[breaking up with an english major]
me: it's not you it's me
him: it's not me it's I
me: it's not you it's me
him: it's not me it's I
February 10, 2026 at 5:12 AM
[breaking up with an english major]
me: it's not you it's me
him: it's not me it's I
me: it's not you it's me
him: it's not me it's I
Ok I know it’s supposed to be Bowe-lieve but someone really should’ve talked to them
February 10, 2026 at 5:22 AM
Ok I know it’s supposed to be Bowe-lieve but someone really should’ve talked to them
If you make the conscious decision to change 👍 into 👍🏻 you get 🤨 from me
February 9, 2026 at 5:53 PM
If you make the conscious decision to change 👍 into 👍🏻 you get 🤨 from me
Reposted by Davoid
If it ain't broke; I can break it.
February 9, 2026 at 7:31 AM
If it ain't broke; I can break it.
Reposted by Davoid
your contributions to the
field of stealth technology
havent not gone unnoticed
field of stealth technology
havent not gone unnoticed
February 9, 2026 at 7:43 AM
your contributions to the
field of stealth technology
havent not gone unnoticed
field of stealth technology
havent not gone unnoticed
Reposted by Davoid
after all why not? why shouldn't I believe it's butter?
February 9, 2026 at 5:52 AM
after all why not? why shouldn't I believe it's butter?
Reposted by Davoid
Gender's Game: a novel by Person Scott Card
February 9, 2026 at 4:31 AM
Gender's Game: a novel by Person Scott Card
Reposted by Davoid
No Kings includes Draft Kings
February 8, 2026 at 11:49 PM
No Kings includes Draft Kings
Reposted by Davoid
a broken digital clock is never right
February 9, 2026 at 12:38 AM
a broken digital clock is never right
Reposted by Davoid
[important document] please list your emergency contact
[me writing the words] borat voice my wife
[me writing the words] borat voice my wife
February 8, 2026 at 10:01 PM
[important document] please list your emergency contact
[me writing the words] borat voice my wife
[me writing the words] borat voice my wife
Reposted by Davoid
Them: try not to think twice about it
Me: i won’t even think once
Me: i won’t even think once
February 8, 2026 at 1:28 PM
Them: try not to think twice about it
Me: i won’t even think once
Me: i won’t even think once
Reposted by Davoid
Before we get started, I just want to say thank you to all of my subscribers. This has been a dream as long as I can remember and I couldn’t have done it without you. It feels surreal to finally say it, but this is the final episode of Nutting In Every Country In The World. Welcome to Vatican City
February 8, 2026 at 4:01 AM
Before we get started, I just want to say thank you to all of my subscribers. This has been a dream as long as I can remember and I couldn’t have done it without you. It feels surreal to finally say it, but this is the final episode of Nutting In Every Country In The World. Welcome to Vatican City
Reposted by Davoid
Dad: Figure skating? How about you figure out how to get a job
February 8, 2026 at 1:36 AM
Dad: Figure skating? How about you figure out how to get a job
Reposted by Davoid
Look kid, occasionally I’m going to drop an obscure boomer reference and it’s up to you to dust off your Encyclopædia Britannica and figure it out
February 7, 2026 at 6:06 PM
Look kid, occasionally I’m going to drop an obscure boomer reference and it’s up to you to dust off your Encyclopædia Britannica and figure it out
Repost with a photo of yours that would make a good album cover
February 7, 2026 at 9:10 AM
Repost with a photo of yours that would make a good album cover
Reposted by Davoid
Mambo #5 was the confession of a serial killer
February 6, 2026 at 4:18 PM
Mambo #5 was the confession of a serial killer
Do I wanna be rich? Yeah I wanna be rich
February 5, 2026 at 8:40 PM
Do I wanna be rich? Yeah I wanna be rich
Reposted by Davoid
I got dressed in the dark, & when I arrived at work I realized I was wearing mismatched socks—one was very short, barely covering my toes, & the other was very long, running all the way up my leg & then down past my foot, spilling out of my shoe & out the door.
February 4, 2026 at 4:41 AM
I got dressed in the dark, & when I arrived at work I realized I was wearing mismatched socks—one was very short, barely covering my toes, & the other was very long, running all the way up my leg & then down past my foot, spilling out of my shoe & out the door.
Reposted by Davoid
When you find three mittens in your coat instead of two it’s a Bizarre Glove Triangle
February 3, 2026 at 11:21 PM
When you find three mittens in your coat instead of two it’s a Bizarre Glove Triangle
Reposted by Davoid
ME: I caught Monocle Guy stealing my leftovers again.
BOSS: Is that true?
MONOCLE GUY: (monocle popping off) Good heavens!!
ME: He’s not actually surprised.
BOSS: Really? He seems surprised.
MONOCLE GUY: (another monocle popping off) Dearest me!!
ME: No, he’s doing a bit.
BOSS: Hm. I don’t know
BOSS: Is that true?
MONOCLE GUY: (monocle popping off) Good heavens!!
ME: He’s not actually surprised.
BOSS: Really? He seems surprised.
MONOCLE GUY: (another monocle popping off) Dearest me!!
ME: No, he’s doing a bit.
BOSS: Hm. I don’t know
February 4, 2026 at 6:09 AM
ME: I caught Monocle Guy stealing my leftovers again.
BOSS: Is that true?
MONOCLE GUY: (monocle popping off) Good heavens!!
ME: He’s not actually surprised.
BOSS: Really? He seems surprised.
MONOCLE GUY: (another monocle popping off) Dearest me!!
ME: No, he’s doing a bit.
BOSS: Hm. I don’t know
BOSS: Is that true?
MONOCLE GUY: (monocle popping off) Good heavens!!
ME: He’s not actually surprised.
BOSS: Really? He seems surprised.
MONOCLE GUY: (another monocle popping off) Dearest me!!
ME: No, he’s doing a bit.
BOSS: Hm. I don’t know
Reposted by Davoid
You’re never alone when you have parasites
February 3, 2026 at 10:13 AM
You’re never alone when you have parasites