emceekayvee
@emceekayvee.bsky.social
Jokes are automatically unfunny if they’re stolen. I have a lot of books. Thrift store whore. Abolish ICE. Fuck the NRA. No DMs.
Contributor:
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
@greenevillezoo.bsky.social
@thetruthwithruth.bsky.social
Then: East Coast
Now: MN
Contributor:
@riversidecasino.bsky.social
@greenevillezoo.bsky.social
@thetruthwithruth.bsky.social
Then: East Coast
Now: MN
Pinned
emceekayvee
@emceekayvee.bsky.social
· Sep 16
Had the longest day possible and I am a haggard wreck. Had to have THREE patients go on hospice today. Getting this wild mane tamed on Wednesday. Since I like some of you, I took this pic before taking off my makeup.
Reposted by emceekayvee
How did username: thiccdick get past my block finger?
November 6, 2025 at 3:02 PM
How did username: thiccdick get past my block finger?
Reposted by emceekayvee
Damn, boy, are you my childhood?
Because we had some good times, but mostly you fucked me up and now I’m dead inside.
Because we had some good times, but mostly you fucked me up and now I’m dead inside.
January 4, 2026 at 9:35 PM
Damn, boy, are you my childhood?
Because we had some good times, but mostly you fucked me up and now I’m dead inside.
Because we had some good times, but mostly you fucked me up and now I’m dead inside.
Reposted by emceekayvee
damn, boy, are you a mirror?
bc every time i look in your direction, i’m mortified at the vision that stands before me
bc every time i look in your direction, i’m mortified at the vision that stands before me
Damn, boy, are you a doctor?
Because I had to wait months to see you and now I just owe a bunch of money and feel bad about myself.
Because I had to wait months to see you and now I just owe a bunch of money and feel bad about myself.
Damn, boy, are you a WebMD search?
Because this started off innocent and now I think I'm dying.
Because this started off innocent and now I think I'm dying.
January 4, 2026 at 9:36 PM
damn, boy, are you a mirror?
bc every time i look in your direction, i’m mortified at the vision that stands before me
bc every time i look in your direction, i’m mortified at the vision that stands before me
Damn, boy, are you a doctor?
Because I had to wait months to see you and now I just owe a bunch of money and feel bad about myself.
Because I had to wait months to see you and now I just owe a bunch of money and feel bad about myself.
Damn, boy, are you a WebMD search?
Because this started off innocent and now I think I'm dying.
Because this started off innocent and now I think I'm dying.
Damn, boy, are you cocaine?
Because you're fun to mess around with, but leave white stuff everywhere and fuck up my insides.
Because you're fun to mess around with, but leave white stuff everywhere and fuck up my insides.
January 4, 2026 at 9:25 PM
Damn, boy, are you a doctor?
Because I had to wait months to see you and now I just owe a bunch of money and feel bad about myself.
Because I had to wait months to see you and now I just owe a bunch of money and feel bad about myself.
Damn, boy, are you cocaine?
Because you're fun to mess around with, but leave white stuff everywhere and fuck up my insides.
Because you're fun to mess around with, but leave white stuff everywhere and fuck up my insides.
Damn, boy? Are you ChatGPT?
Because everybody tells me I’m an idiot for talking to you but I can’t stop
Because everybody tells me I’m an idiot for talking to you but I can’t stop
January 4, 2026 at 9:22 PM
Damn, boy, are you cocaine?
Because you're fun to mess around with, but leave white stuff everywhere and fuck up my insides.
Because you're fun to mess around with, but leave white stuff everywhere and fuck up my insides.
Reposted by emceekayvee
just realized I've been applying to job applications with this pfp
January 4, 2026 at 9:13 PM
just realized I've been applying to job applications with this pfp
Oh no, guys, @thiccdick.bsky.social has blocked me. What I'm gon do now?
January 4, 2026 at 9:17 PM
Oh no, guys, @thiccdick.bsky.social has blocked me. What I'm gon do now?
my anti-depressants are in a polycule.
January 4, 2026 at 8:34 PM
my anti-depressants are in a polycule.
where is everyone? Did we just decide that things aren't funny anymore? We're SHITPOSTERS, WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE TO LAUGH AT IF NOT SHITPOSTS????
January 4, 2026 at 8:21 PM
where is everyone? Did we just decide that things aren't funny anymore? We're SHITPOSTERS, WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE TO LAUGH AT IF NOT SHITPOSTS????
Piers Morgan Freeman
January 4, 2026 at 8:03 PM
Piers Morgan Freeman
I worked on a team with a bunch of nerds in my early 20s and sometimes I surprised them with my knowledge of nerdy stuff. They never saw me coming. Also, they never saw me cumming, b/c...nerds.
January 4, 2026 at 7:49 PM
I worked on a team with a bunch of nerds in my early 20s and sometimes I surprised them with my knowledge of nerdy stuff. They never saw me coming. Also, they never saw me cumming, b/c...nerds.
But how many go in the stink, kind sir?
January 4, 2026 at 3:35 AM
But how many go in the stink, kind sir?
Did you choose Touch or Touch Free?
2 stars/would not recommend
My muff did not get as clean as it should have.
My muff did not get as clean as it should have.
oi guv
January 4, 2026 at 3:31 AM
Did you choose Touch or Touch Free?
Reposted by emceekayvee
2 stars/would not recommend
My muff did not get as clean as it should have.
My muff did not get as clean as it should have.
January 4, 2026 at 3:06 AM
2 stars/would not recommend
My muff did not get as clean as it should have.
My muff did not get as clean as it should have.
Me: How much do you love me on a scale of 1-10?
Him: 10
Me, livid, super dramatic: you’re supposed to say 100 or 1 million!
Him, perplexed, super concrete: THAT WASN’T THE SCALE! THE MAXIMUM WAS 10!
Him: 10
Me, livid, super dramatic: you’re supposed to say 100 or 1 million!
Him, perplexed, super concrete: THAT WASN’T THE SCALE! THE MAXIMUM WAS 10!
January 4, 2026 at 1:54 AM
Me: How much do you love me on a scale of 1-10?
Him: 10
Me, livid, super dramatic: you’re supposed to say 100 or 1 million!
Him, perplexed, super concrete: THAT WASN’T THE SCALE! THE MAXIMUM WAS 10!
Him: 10
Me, livid, super dramatic: you’re supposed to say 100 or 1 million!
Him, perplexed, super concrete: THAT WASN’T THE SCALE! THE MAXIMUM WAS 10!
Why free radicals sound so cool? No cost and awesome? Yes, please!
January 4, 2026 at 12:57 AM
Why free radicals sound so cool? No cost and awesome? Yes, please!
Is it hot in here or is it just me(nopause)?
January 3, 2026 at 9:36 PM
Is it hot in here or is it just me(nopause)?
Reposted by emceekayvee
you can tell a lot about a woman by the way she decides to burn your house down
July 1, 2025 at 1:16 AM
you can tell a lot about a woman by the way she decides to burn your house down
Reposted by emceekayvee
Netflix and Chilliwack
January 3, 2026 at 7:53 PM
Netflix and Chilliwack
If you collect swords you prob have a small epeen
January 3, 2026 at 7:16 PM
If you collect swords you prob have a small epeen
If you have a sword collection, you’re sworda a nerd and I simply cannot with you.
January 3, 2026 at 6:55 PM
If you have a sword collection, you’re sworda a nerd and I simply cannot with you.
Reposted by emceekayvee
Fear and Loathing at the Corporate Christmas Party
January 3, 2026 at 6:49 PM
Fear and Loathing at the Corporate Christmas Party
Reposted by emceekayvee
Netflix and chilly bc I'm cold
Netflix and chili bc I’m more hungry than horny.
January 3, 2026 at 6:47 PM
Netflix and chilly bc I'm cold
Reposted by emceekayvee
