Greeneville Zoo
@greenevillezoo.bsky.social
Not affiliated with the Greeneville Pet Cemetery
Pinned
Did you know that having jungle cats lick pedestrian walkways clean is not nearly as sanitary as hosing them down? Anyway, we’ve changed our policy.
November 14, 2025 at 2:35 PM
Did you know that having jungle cats lick pedestrian walkways clean is not nearly as sanitary as hosing them down? Anyway, we’ve changed our policy.
When visiting our wolf, coyote, or jackal enclosures, keep in mind that the Greeneville Rule Book actually does say a dog can’t play basketball.
November 13, 2025 at 3:22 PM
When visiting our wolf, coyote, or jackal enclosures, keep in mind that the Greeneville Rule Book actually does say a dog can’t play basketball.
We’re launching an investigation into how our chimps were able to host an illegal poker game, who tipped off the FBI and where the money is buried.
November 12, 2025 at 3:03 PM
We’re launching an investigation into how our chimps were able to host an illegal poker game, who tipped off the FBI and where the money is buried.
Our breeding-program research reports that the animals’ reluctance to mate is often linked to people like you standing around watching.
November 11, 2025 at 2:21 PM
Our breeding-program research reports that the animals’ reluctance to mate is often linked to people like you standing around watching.
During our last bird show a goose snatched a hairpiece. If you're missing a hairpiece, stop at Guest Services. If you can describe this hairpiece, you may reclaim your hairpiece.
November 10, 2025 at 10:41 PM
During our last bird show a goose snatched a hairpiece. If you're missing a hairpiece, stop at Guest Services. If you can describe this hairpiece, you may reclaim your hairpiece.
People say wolves are intelligent, but a third of our staff was able to beat them in head-to-head Chutes and Ladders.
November 10, 2025 at 3:24 PM
People say wolves are intelligent, but a third of our staff was able to beat them in head-to-head Chutes and Ladders.
Our wolves don't have rabies. That's beard conditioner.
November 9, 2025 at 10:51 PM
Our wolves don't have rabies. That's beard conditioner.
To all concerned callers: We agree that animals should be behind bars. But the Greeneville Zoo Streaker is now a matter for local authorities.
November 9, 2025 at 5:00 PM
To all concerned callers: We agree that animals should be behind bars. But the Greeneville Zoo Streaker is now a matter for local authorities.
"The next enclosure features the Western Lowlife Gorilla."
"You mean Western Lowland
Gorilla?"
"No."
"You mean Western Lowland
Gorilla?"
"No."
November 8, 2025 at 7:22 PM
"The next enclosure features the Western Lowlife Gorilla."
"You mean Western Lowland
Gorilla?"
"No."
"You mean Western Lowland
Gorilla?"
"No."
Until the Season Pass automatic turnstile is repaired, please holler or bang on the gates.
November 8, 2025 at 3:34 PM
Until the Season Pass automatic turnstile is repaired, please holler or bang on the gates.
Waiting to see one of our popular exhibits? Make sure you’re in line behind other humans, not our lemmings.
November 7, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Waiting to see one of our popular exhibits? Make sure you’re in line behind other humans, not our lemmings.
The zoo's lovable otters have threatened to stop being “so damned cute" until David Fincher makes Season 3 of Mindhunter.
November 6, 2025 at 5:22 PM
The zoo's lovable otters have threatened to stop being “so damned cute" until David Fincher makes Season 3 of Mindhunter.
Whoever performed the Godfather 3 Sofia Coppola Death Scene, the bears aren't convinced.
November 6, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Whoever performed the Godfather 3 Sofia Coppola Death Scene, the bears aren't convinced.
The bird screaming obscenities turned out to be a former intern in a convincing parrot costume. Sorry about that.
November 5, 2025 at 3:06 PM
The bird screaming obscenities turned out to be a former intern in a convincing parrot costume. Sorry about that.
Huge thanks to everyone who has donated wood to our woodchuck enclosure. We have reached an undetermined percentage of our goal.
November 4, 2025 at 2:29 PM
Huge thanks to everyone who has donated wood to our woodchuck enclosure. We have reached an undetermined percentage of our goal.
We're missing a couple lemurs.
We want to thank everyone who donated to get our GM out of jail. There's no way to know the lemurs were stolen.
November 4, 2025 at 2:05 AM
We're missing a couple lemurs.
As you pass the jellyfish remember to wish them a happy World Jellyfish Day, but don’t expect a thank you because they have no manners.
Or brains.
Or brains.
November 3, 2025 at 10:53 PM
As you pass the jellyfish remember to wish them a happy World Jellyfish Day, but don’t expect a thank you because they have no manners.
Or brains.
Or brains.
For Godzilla Day, we replicated the look of his atomic breath by getting our lizards hooked on Newport menthols.
November 3, 2025 at 7:27 PM
For Godzilla Day, we replicated the look of his atomic breath by getting our lizards hooked on Newport menthols.
Promotion of the Month: You can keep anything you find in our kangaroo’s pouch if you can get out of the enclosure un-kicked.
November 3, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Promotion of the Month: You can keep anything you find in our kangaroo’s pouch if you can get out of the enclosure un-kicked.
He'll come back when he's hungry.
November 3, 2025 at 4:42 AM
He'll come back when he's hungry.
Welp. Gonna need more paper towels.
November 2, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Welp. Gonna need more paper towels.
Thank you for calling Greeneville Zoo. Press 1 for hours. Press 2 to speak with a monkey.
November 1, 2025 at 1:36 PM
Thank you for calling Greeneville Zoo. Press 1 for hours. Press 2 to speak with a monkey.
To: All Staff
Subject: Halloween
Stop handing out animal crackers to the children. They're eating them in front of the animals, and the lions, tigers, bears, and elephants are freaking out.
Subject: Halloween
Stop handing out animal crackers to the children. They're eating them in front of the animals, and the lions, tigers, bears, and elephants are freaking out.
October 31, 2025 at 11:30 PM
To: All Staff
Subject: Halloween
Stop handing out animal crackers to the children. They're eating them in front of the animals, and the lions, tigers, bears, and elephants are freaking out.
Subject: Halloween
Stop handing out animal crackers to the children. They're eating them in front of the animals, and the lions, tigers, bears, and elephants are freaking out.
Please refrain from throwing candy into the gorilla exhibit until after they sign “Trick or treat.” Thank you.
October 31, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Please refrain from throwing candy into the gorilla exhibit until after they sign “Trick or treat.” Thank you.
It's already Halloween Down Under. We turned the koala enclosure upside down so they can skitter across the ceiling like Toni Collette in Hereditary.
October 30, 2025 at 11:54 PM
It's already Halloween Down Under. We turned the koala enclosure upside down so they can skitter across the ceiling like Toni Collette in Hereditary.