Danny
@mardigroan.bsky.social
My writing's been found on food shopping lists & mini golf scores
My Bluesky tweets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:aiszm5s7rajxmnj5t35tm4qh/feed/aaadebecxn2si
My Bluesky tweets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:aiszm5s7rajxmnj5t35tm4qh/feed/aaadebecxn2si
Pinned
This time of year when you rage against the machine chances are that machine is a neighbor's noisy leaf blower.
Reposted by Danny
ME: I’ve never cooked a Thanksgiving turkey and I hope I go to my grave that way
DOCTOR: Then I've got good news
DOCTOR: Then I've got good news
November 26, 2025 at 6:45 AM
ME: I’ve never cooked a Thanksgiving turkey and I hope I go to my grave that way
DOCTOR: Then I've got good news
DOCTOR: Then I've got good news
Reposted by Danny
Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy
😬
😬
November 26, 2025 at 7:58 AM
Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy
😬
😬
Reposted by Danny
Dilemma: I can only find one pair of reading glasses and I need reading glasses to fix my reading glasses.
November 26, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Dilemma: I can only find one pair of reading glasses and I need reading glasses to fix my reading glasses.
Reposted by Danny
the turkeys are comfortable grazing in my yard once they heard we’re doing Asian fusion this year
November 26, 2025 at 4:15 PM
the turkeys are comfortable grazing in my yard once they heard we’re doing Asian fusion this year
Reposted by Danny
A dating app that only shows their latest Spotify playlist and bank account balance.
November 26, 2025 at 11:30 AM
A dating app that only shows their latest Spotify playlist and bank account balance.
Reposted by Danny
Orders a Xanax martini for breakfast.
November 26, 2025 at 1:14 PM
Orders a Xanax martini for breakfast.
Reposted by Danny
you’re not balding your hair has merely grown a part. folks,,
November 26, 2025 at 1:50 PM
you’re not balding your hair has merely grown a part. folks,,
Reposted by Danny
gtfo if your cranberry sauce isn’t shaped like a can like nature intended
November 26, 2025 at 1:57 PM
gtfo if your cranberry sauce isn’t shaped like a can like nature intended
Reposted by Danny
shark: *smirking* no hablo inglés
November 26, 2025 at 2:10 PM
shark: *smirking* no hablo inglés
Reposted by Danny
I'm beginning to think I'll never find a giant x on the ground marking the spot to buried treasure
November 26, 2025 at 3:45 PM
I'm beginning to think I'll never find a giant x on the ground marking the spot to buried treasure
Reposted by Danny
Why is it called Butcher's twine and not hamstring
November 25, 2025 at 3:08 PM
Why is it called Butcher's twine and not hamstring
Reposted by Danny
If politics are on the table for Thanksgiving and you want to find common ground -- a majority of all Americans, across party lines, support raising taxes on massive corporations and billionaires (and polling has shown this to be true for years).
November 26, 2025 at 12:49 PM
If politics are on the table for Thanksgiving and you want to find common ground -- a majority of all Americans, across party lines, support raising taxes on massive corporations and billionaires (and polling has shown this to be true for years).
Reposted by Danny
I woke up from a dream where I was blocking defensive linemen and then I couldn't fullback asleep.
November 26, 2025 at 3:09 AM
I woke up from a dream where I was blocking defensive linemen and then I couldn't fullback asleep.
Reposted by Danny
I’ll never forgive the people who insisted that “both parties are the same”.
I’ll never forgive the people who thought voting 3rd party was some sort of statement.
I wish them nothing but emotional and physical suffering. I hope they meet their end unloved, unhoused and unhinged.
I’ll never forgive the people who thought voting 3rd party was some sort of statement.
I wish them nothing but emotional and physical suffering. I hope they meet their end unloved, unhoused and unhinged.
No matter how long I live after we get through this dark chapter, I will never get over the immorality, the amorality, the corruption, the criminality and the cruelty in service to one of the worst humans to ever walk the earth.
November 26, 2025 at 2:27 AM
I’ll never forgive the people who insisted that “both parties are the same”.
I’ll never forgive the people who thought voting 3rd party was some sort of statement.
I wish them nothing but emotional and physical suffering. I hope they meet their end unloved, unhoused and unhinged.
I’ll never forgive the people who thought voting 3rd party was some sort of statement.
I wish them nothing but emotional and physical suffering. I hope they meet their end unloved, unhoused and unhinged.
Reposted by Danny
1 in 5 Americans are dealing with mental health conditions.
The other 4 aren't dealing and will be at my house on Thanksgiving.
The other 4 aren't dealing and will be at my house on Thanksgiving.
November 26, 2025 at 2:17 AM
1 in 5 Americans are dealing with mental health conditions.
The other 4 aren't dealing and will be at my house on Thanksgiving.
The other 4 aren't dealing and will be at my house on Thanksgiving.
Reposted by Danny
Love that chicken from Popeye's 🎶 but it's me talking about turkey from your mawmaw's house
November 26, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Love that chicken from Popeye's 🎶 but it's me talking about turkey from your mawmaw's house
Reposted by Danny
People surprised at RFK Jr's appeal don't realise how fashionable distressed leather is in some circles.
November 26, 2025 at 5:25 AM
People surprised at RFK Jr's appeal don't realise how fashionable distressed leather is in some circles.
Reposted by Danny
I had no idea that Black Friday was a thing until well into adulthood. I grew up in a family where we did nothing the day after Thanksgiving. It was a day for eating pie for breakfast, staying in your jammies all day, and napping.
I've never gone shopping on Black Friday. No need to start now.
I've never gone shopping on Black Friday. No need to start now.
November 26, 2025 at 2:56 AM
I had no idea that Black Friday was a thing until well into adulthood. I grew up in a family where we did nothing the day after Thanksgiving. It was a day for eating pie for breakfast, staying in your jammies all day, and napping.
I've never gone shopping on Black Friday. No need to start now.
I've never gone shopping on Black Friday. No need to start now.
May you have people that you get at the airport and, when you are the one who has flown, people who get you when you arrive.
November 26, 2025 at 4:26 AM
May you have people that you get at the airport and, when you are the one who has flown, people who get you when you arrive.
Reposted by Danny
fuck it, I've had a good run. the only good pie is quiche.
November 26, 2025 at 2:52 AM
fuck it, I've had a good run. the only good pie is quiche.
Reposted by Danny
10 things that sort of rhyme with spinach:
Grimace
witness
Spinoza
dementia
finish
kinisthetic
credenza
menace
tinnitus (NA pronunciation)
clench
Grimace
witness
Spinoza
dementia
finish
kinisthetic
credenza
menace
tinnitus (NA pronunciation)
clench
November 26, 2025 at 1:05 AM
10 things that sort of rhyme with spinach:
Grimace
witness
Spinoza
dementia
finish
kinisthetic
credenza
menace
tinnitus (NA pronunciation)
clench
Grimace
witness
Spinoza
dementia
finish
kinisthetic
credenza
menace
tinnitus (NA pronunciation)
clench
Reposted by Danny
thanks for the appetizers im not going home with you
November 26, 2025 at 1:12 AM
thanks for the appetizers im not going home with you
Reposted by Danny
If I was an elected official, I would simply not do crime
November 26, 2025 at 1:15 AM
If I was an elected official, I would simply not do crime
Reposted by Danny
a percussion instrument made of skeleton would be a xylobone
November 26, 2025 at 12:03 AM
a percussion instrument made of skeleton would be a xylobone
Reposted by Danny
Kinda weird that the White House Thanksgiving dinner only has one big kids’ table.
November 25, 2025 at 11:42 PM
Kinda weird that the White House Thanksgiving dinner only has one big kids’ table.