Lock Wilford
@lockwilford.com
If you are looking for the other Lock Wilford you didn't find him.
My top skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6sn5ipsdnbalrtkjgpjkr3u7/feed/aaafm23lyrjky
My art: lockwilford.com
My top skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6sn5ipsdnbalrtkjgpjkr3u7/feed/aaafm23lyrjky
My art: lockwilford.com
Pinned
Lock Wilford
@lockwilford.com
· May 30
[Sex Shop]
Me: *holding 37 dildos*
Shopkeeper: may I help you?
Me: where are the fitting rooms?
Me: *holding 37 dildos*
Shopkeeper: may I help you?
Me: where are the fitting rooms?
I slept great last night
February 8, 2026 at 5:25 PM
I slept great last night
I haven't been to bed since Thursday. I worked all day Friday, came home and waited for him to get done at midnight, spent the morning with him until 4 was at work by 6 until 3 this afternoon, and now I'm waiting for him to call he's done at work. I'm going to crash tomorrow
February 8, 2026 at 5:51 AM
I haven't been to bed since Thursday. I worked all day Friday, came home and waited for him to get done at midnight, spent the morning with him until 4 was at work by 6 until 3 this afternoon, and now I'm waiting for him to call he's done at work. I'm going to crash tomorrow
Reposted by Lock Wilford
*looking at the Mona Lisa* there is no way a turtle painted this
February 3, 2026 at 4:29 AM
*looking at the Mona Lisa* there is no way a turtle painted this
Reposted by Lock Wilford
kind of funny that an olympian said they are here to represent "compassion, respect, and love for others" and some people automatically knew that was a statement against them
February 7, 2026 at 10:25 PM
kind of funny that an olympian said they are here to represent "compassion, respect, and love for others" and some people automatically knew that was a statement against them
Reposted by Lock Wilford
If science is so great why do we only have one vegetable on the cob
February 8, 2026 at 2:54 AM
If science is so great why do we only have one vegetable on the cob
Reposted by Lock Wilford
Your account is a fuckin mess.
*followed*
*followed*
February 8, 2026 at 3:06 AM
Your account is a fuckin mess.
*followed*
*followed*
Reposted by Lock Wilford
Today, I shall mostly be adding little moustaches and monocles to all the illustrations of spermatozoa in the biology textbooks at the library.
September 28, 2023 at 10:32 AM
Today, I shall mostly be adding little moustaches and monocles to all the illustrations of spermatozoa in the biology textbooks at the library.
BTW I wouldn't trade last night for anything. As much as he knows about me and he was looking at a painting on my wall and asked who the artist was, I looked at it and then at him and told him the truth, I was the artist. He never realized I loved painting
February 8, 2026 at 1:19 AM
BTW I wouldn't trade last night for anything. As much as he knows about me and he was looking at a painting on my wall and asked who the artist was, I looked at it and then at him and told him the truth, I was the artist. He never realized I loved painting
I'm exhausted, but simultaneously ecstatic. His brother and I had a great text exchange this evening. He thanked me for loving his brother and being there for him and then told me he'd be there for us both of us. That's when I cried
The things we do for love
It really kinda sucks, I've been going since 4 AM and there's zero chance I can sleep now. So I am going to spend a few hours with him then go in for a twelve hour shift and possibly die on Saturday night after being awake since this morning
February 8, 2026 at 1:15 AM
I'm exhausted, but simultaneously ecstatic. His brother and I had a great text exchange this evening. He thanked me for loving his brother and being there for him and then told me he'd be there for us both of us. That's when I cried
Everything is clean except the kitchen I'm as ready as I can be
February 7, 2026 at 3:41 AM
Everything is clean except the kitchen I'm as ready as I can be
I have never been this nervous in my entire life and I have done all of this before, but he's so perfect I am worried I'll make a mistake
February 7, 2026 at 2:01 AM
I have never been this nervous in my entire life and I have done all of this before, but he's so perfect I am worried I'll make a mistake
The things we do for love
It really kinda sucks, I've been going since 4 AM and there's zero chance I can sleep now. So I am going to spend a few hours with him then go in for a twelve hour shift and possibly die on Saturday night after being awake since this morning
He won't be done until 1 AM and I have to be at work at 6 AM. He packed a backpack with a change of clothes so he can shower after work which means my bathroom has to be meticulously cleaned because he's as OCD as me
February 7, 2026 at 1:59 AM
The things we do for love
It really kinda sucks, I've been going since 4 AM and there's zero chance I can sleep now. So I am going to spend a few hours with him then go in for a twelve hour shift and possibly die on Saturday night after being awake since this morning
He won't be done until 1 AM and I have to be at work at 6 AM. He packed a backpack with a change of clothes so he can shower after work which means my bathroom has to be meticulously cleaned because he's as OCD as me
I'm just nervous it's his first time ever coming over to MY place. I've been drinking and cleaning
February 7, 2026 at 1:58 AM
It really kinda sucks, I've been going since 4 AM and there's zero chance I can sleep now. So I am going to spend a few hours with him then go in for a twelve hour shift and possibly die on Saturday night after being awake since this morning
He won't be done until 1 AM and I have to be at work at 6 AM. He packed a backpack with a change of clothes so he can shower after work which means my bathroom has to be meticulously cleaned because he's as OCD as me
I'm just nervous it's his first time ever coming over to MY place. I've been drinking and cleaning
February 7, 2026 at 1:55 AM
He won't be done until 1 AM and I have to be at work at 6 AM. He packed a backpack with a change of clothes so he can shower after work which means my bathroom has to be meticulously cleaned because he's as OCD as me
I'm just nervous it's his first time ever coming over to MY place. I've been drinking and cleaning
February 7, 2026 at 1:53 AM
I'm just nervous it's his first time ever coming over to MY place. I've been drinking and cleaning
Y'all I'm four drinks in and I've yet to eat
February 7, 2026 at 1:48 AM
Y'all I'm four drinks in and I've yet to eat
And now back to shitposting on main
February 4, 2026 at 5:09 AM
And now back to shitposting on main
Why would I won't to live?
February 4, 2026 at 5:03 AM
Why would I won't to live?
Reposted by Lock Wilford
Reposted by Lock Wilford
i was born in 1981 but there are 17 vowels in my first name so i pass as 28
February 4, 2026 at 4:24 AM
i was born in 1981 but there are 17 vowels in my first name so i pass as 28
Reposted by Lock Wilford
Well that’s the first time I ever used Apple Translate during sex.
Anywayyyyy
😎
Anywayyyyy
😎
February 4, 2026 at 2:45 AM
Well that’s the first time I ever used Apple Translate during sex.
Anywayyyyy
😎
Anywayyyyy
😎
Reposted by Lock Wilford
I spend my evenings attending a dramatic live performance called “Starving Cats Who Ate One Hour Ago.”
February 4, 2026 at 12:53 AM
I spend my evenings attending a dramatic live performance called “Starving Cats Who Ate One Hour Ago.”