orcus
@goblin.news
Behind a bench in the bushes, buried in a pile of leaves, and rustlin’ around.
👹🐍☠️
👹🐍☠️
Pinned
orcus
@goblin.news
· Dec 8
Running off to join my little friends behind the slaughterhouse
Thinking back on the patterns I got lost in like the wilderness that are now lost somewhere inside me.
November 11, 2025 at 7:12 AM
Thinking back on the patterns I got lost in like the wilderness that are now lost somewhere inside me.
I might swivel around a little
November 11, 2025 at 6:14 AM
I might swivel around a little
soft ice cream babies melted in their sauce, hungry here for heretic hair; all eats soft and delicious (never hard and never fast)
And we reward this behavior, at last
And we reward this behavior, at last
November 11, 2025 at 3:55 AM
soft ice cream babies melted in their sauce, hungry here for heretic hair; all eats soft and delicious (never hard and never fast)
And we reward this behavior, at last
And we reward this behavior, at last
I’m probably sorry for everything I’m about to spill on you
November 11, 2025 at 3:46 AM
I’m probably sorry for everything I’m about to spill on you
Listen, I don’t know how to read audio books
November 11, 2025 at 2:38 AM
Listen, I don’t know how to read audio books
check and make sure your feet aren’t touching it or swiveling around
November 11, 2025 at 2:36 AM
check and make sure your feet aren’t touching it or swiveling around
A dessert cucumber for the lady? Or perhaps a tray of ice cubes for the table?
November 11, 2025 at 2:31 AM
A dessert cucumber for the lady? Or perhaps a tray of ice cubes for the table?
it’s not stealing if you put stuff into peoples pockets, it’s something else entirely
November 11, 2025 at 2:21 AM
it’s not stealing if you put stuff into peoples pockets, it’s something else entirely
asking the YouTube AI if is this a video of a living human on every video
November 11, 2025 at 2:15 AM
asking the YouTube AI if is this a video of a living human on every video
a man approaches me tears in his eyes “my coworker tried to grease, to oil me, how will I tell my family” and I give him Two Eggs: once for each hand
November 11, 2025 at 1:57 AM
a man approaches me tears in his eyes “my coworker tried to grease, to oil me, how will I tell my family” and I give him Two Eggs: once for each hand
Reposted by orcus
World of Grandmas: Complete Edition
November 11, 2025 at 1:33 AM
World of Grandmas: Complete Edition
commuters need eggs and I will give them an egg, I will say “this is for you, to keep” as I hold their hand and give them these eggs as the scramble for the stairs
November 11, 2025 at 1:41 AM
commuters need eggs and I will give them an egg, I will say “this is for you, to keep” as I hold their hand and give them these eggs as the scramble for the stairs
Find the jerry can of emergency Costco marinara
November 11, 2025 at 12:49 AM
Find the jerry can of emergency Costco marinara
handing out raw eggs at the train station
November 11, 2025 at 12:47 AM
handing out raw eggs at the train station
let’s all think about raccoons for a minute
November 10, 2025 at 8:13 PM
let’s all think about raccoons for a minute
terrorized by the chaotic behaviors of the squirrels
November 10, 2025 at 4:38 PM
terrorized by the chaotic behaviors of the squirrels
found a place to pickup bootleg platonic solids, including some unreleased shapes, lmk if you want the hookup 🤙
November 9, 2025 at 10:11 PM
found a place to pickup bootleg platonic solids, including some unreleased shapes, lmk if you want the hookup 🤙
Reposted by orcus
Me: I’d like to swing back to the strawberry stinkrats
Couples counselor: can you unpack that a bit more?
My wife: UGH. They’re normal rats that smell like strawberries. Ask him if they exist in nature or only within the confines of his emotionally withholding mind
Couples counselor: can you unpack that a bit more?
My wife: UGH. They’re normal rats that smell like strawberries. Ask him if they exist in nature or only within the confines of his emotionally withholding mind
November 9, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Me: I’d like to swing back to the strawberry stinkrats
Couples counselor: can you unpack that a bit more?
My wife: UGH. They’re normal rats that smell like strawberries. Ask him if they exist in nature or only within the confines of his emotionally withholding mind
Couples counselor: can you unpack that a bit more?
My wife: UGH. They’re normal rats that smell like strawberries. Ask him if they exist in nature or only within the confines of his emotionally withholding mind
you can pry him off with a stick I guess, but why go to all that trouble in the first place? Commit. you’ll get the most benefits out of it that way
November 9, 2025 at 7:54 AM
you can pry him off with a stick I guess, but why go to all that trouble in the first place? Commit. you’ll get the most benefits out of it that way
it works just like gold panning except with a crowd of people, you’ll get the hang of it, and don’t worry about all the sloshing because I think they kinda like it
November 9, 2025 at 7:51 AM
it works just like gold panning except with a crowd of people, you’ll get the hang of it, and don’t worry about all the sloshing because I think they kinda like it
he only exists maybe three or four weeks out of the year?, don’t try to remember his name the rest of the time because nothing good can come of it
November 9, 2025 at 7:48 AM
he only exists maybe three or four weeks out of the year?, don’t try to remember his name the rest of the time because nothing good can come of it
watch out when they latch they stay on until they finish
November 9, 2025 at 7:40 AM
watch out when they latch they stay on until they finish
preferred by best remote wizards
November 9, 2025 at 7:35 AM
preferred by best remote wizards
we are ready for a global culture of gender neutral codpieces
November 9, 2025 at 1:19 AM
we are ready for a global culture of gender neutral codpieces