jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
just your typical old fashioned, salt of the earth, red blooded, hard working, blue collar, queer lady.
PFP me in pool BY @geraldinepiche.bsky.social
🆗 https://nursemurderer.com
PFP me in pool BY @geraldinepiche.bsky.social
🆗 https://nursemurderer.com
Pinned
jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
· May 20
literally my current proof of life outside of my fckn job:
today’s workout brought to you by: the sun meant it today and my body loved it, and feeling outkast lately
November 11, 2025 at 3:11 AM
today’s workout brought to you by: the sun meant it today and my body loved it, and feeling outkast lately
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Any time I don’t know the answer to a question, I say “the surgeon was the boy’s mother” just in case
November 11, 2025 at 12:46 AM
Any time I don’t know the answer to a question, I say “the surgeon was the boy’s mother” just in case
Reposted by jordan [ham]
I apologize for not solving all the world's issues and everyone's individual problems within the scope of a single character limited post on a micro-blogging app today, but I promise to give it a go tomorrow. Definitely. Maybe.
October 22, 2024 at 1:23 AM
I apologize for not solving all the world's issues and everyone's individual problems within the scope of a single character limited post on a micro-blogging app today, but I promise to give it a go tomorrow. Definitely. Maybe.
should we all move back to europe and be like jk we never left what’s america lol you guys are crazy anyway where is my health insurance at
November 11, 2025 at 1:49 AM
should we all move back to europe and be like jk we never left what’s america lol you guys are crazy anyway where is my health insurance at
Reposted by jordan [ham]
absurd is short for absolute turd
November 10, 2025 at 5:33 AM
absurd is short for absolute turd
Reposted by jordan [ham]
I think that’s enough of raw-dogging life, going forward I’m leaning heavily into LSD.
November 10, 2025 at 2:53 PM
I think that’s enough of raw-dogging life, going forward I’m leaning heavily into LSD.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
*claiming asylum at the candy store*
November 10, 2025 at 6:24 PM
*claiming asylum at the candy store*
Reposted by jordan [ham]
I'm never at my best this early in the millennium.
November 8, 2025 at 6:38 PM
I'm never at my best this early in the millennium.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
*removes gag ball to make Face ID purchase
November 9, 2025 at 12:58 AM
*removes gag ball to make Face ID purchase
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Never forget:
Cries rhymes with fries.
Cries rhymes with fries.
November 10, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Never forget:
Cries rhymes with fries.
Cries rhymes with fries.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
“i fold,” said the poker player & the laundromat guy & the origami artist & the dems &
November 10, 2025 at 9:10 PM
“i fold,” said the poker player & the laundromat guy & the origami artist & the dems &
Reposted by jordan [ham]
I find it really difficult to pay prolonged attention to you when you flicker in and out of this dimension like that.
November 10, 2025 at 9:24 PM
I find it really difficult to pay prolonged attention to you when you flicker in and out of this dimension like that.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Sometimes what the doctor ordered is a nice lil beige meal
November 10, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Sometimes what the doctor ordered is a nice lil beige meal
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Carmichael would be a great name for a transformer.
November 3, 2025 at 3:37 PM
Carmichael would be a great name for a transformer.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
I always carry a piece of paper in my pocket just in case someone ever tries to attack me with a rock
December 2, 2024 at 11:31 AM
I always carry a piece of paper in my pocket just in case someone ever tries to attack me with a rock
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Alexa, change all the clocks to Hammer time.
November 2, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Alexa, change all the clocks to Hammer time.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
was it my way, it was my way wasn’t it
November 3, 2025 at 9:42 PM
was it my way, it was my way wasn’t it
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Air tight? Yeah, air is pretty cool I guess.
November 4, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Air tight? Yeah, air is pretty cool I guess.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
If you can pin an animal down in the petting zoo for a three count, you get to take it home.
March 7, 2025 at 4:23 PM
If you can pin an animal down in the petting zoo for a three count, you get to take it home.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Christmas puns will ruin this place.
Yule see.
Yule see.
November 6, 2025 at 11:33 PM
Christmas puns will ruin this place.
Yule see.
Yule see.
during a conversation with my bestie, I had to google how much it will cost to cremate me if I drop dead while on disability, and dudes! it is only like $2300, so we totally are gonna be able to afford this if y’all pitch in.
November 10, 2025 at 10:06 PM
during a conversation with my bestie, I had to google how much it will cost to cremate me if I drop dead while on disability, and dudes! it is only like $2300, so we totally are gonna be able to afford this if y’all pitch in.
hey it’s @durtmchurtt.bsky.social bday today and one time he shoveled my sidewalk so don’t ever say I didn’t get him anything (or something) 🎈🎈🎈
bsky.app
November 10, 2025 at 9:50 PM
hey it’s @durtmchurtt.bsky.social bday today and one time he shoveled my sidewalk so don’t ever say I didn’t get him anything (or something) 🎈🎈🎈
Reposted by jordan [ham]
beef stew is short for beef stewart
January 2, 2025 at 11:28 PM
beef stew is short for beef stewart
imagine actually dying on the hill though
November 10, 2025 at 6:18 PM
imagine actually dying on the hill though
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Someday*, we’ll look back on everything that’s going on in America right now, and say, “What in the actual fuck?”
*today
*today
November 7, 2025 at 1:39 PM
Someday*, we’ll look back on everything that’s going on in America right now, and say, “What in the actual fuck?”
*today
*today