jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
Pinned
happy Black History Month
if we got a cuck chair it would just end up being a cat chair
February 5, 2026 at 3:34 AM
if we got a cuck chair it would just end up being a cat chair
Reposted by jordan [ham]
an accent could be a cheese curd
February 4, 2026 at 2:35 AM
an accent could be a cheese curd
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Why couldn’t you have told me I’m the River Spirit Kohaku before I bought all these spatulas.
January 24, 2026 at 9:47 PM
Why couldn’t you have told me I’m the River Spirit Kohaku before I bought all these spatulas.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER TO EAT CARRION SOMETIMES BUT MOSTLY TO COMMIT UNTHINKABLE ATROCITIES.
February 4, 2026 at 4:17 AM
BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER TO EAT CARRION SOMETIMES BUT MOSTLY TO COMMIT UNTHINKABLE ATROCITIES.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
I just signed a @uscedp.bsky.social petition: Gov. Ivey: Please Grant Clemency to Charles "Sonny" Burton Who Faces Execution Despite Not Having Killed Anyone. Sign here: actionnetwork.org/petitions/go...
Gov. Ivey: Please Grant Clemency to Charles "Sonny" Burton Who Faces Execution Despite Not Having Killed Anyone
The State of Alabama wants to execute Charles "Sonny" Burton for capital murder. But Sonny never killed anyone. The identity of the shooter, Derrick DeBruce, was never in dispute. However, Alabama al...
actionnetwork.org
February 4, 2026 at 2:28 PM
I just signed a @uscedp.bsky.social petition: Gov. Ivey: Please Grant Clemency to Charles "Sonny" Burton Who Faces Execution Despite Not Having Killed Anyone. Sign here: actionnetwork.org/petitions/go...
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Making all my phone calls from the bathroom now to sound more presidential
February 3, 2026 at 4:31 AM
Making all my phone calls from the bathroom now to sound more presidential
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Antifa would be a beautiful girl's name
February 3, 2026 at 7:47 AM
Antifa would be a beautiful girl's name
Reposted by jordan [ham]
This meeting could’ve been a karate match
February 5, 2026 at 2:33 AM
This meeting could’ve been a karate match
Reposted by jordan [ham]
now *this* is a statement w substance
some people on bluesky are not following me and idk why tbh bc i’m a gddmn delight
some people on Bluesky think that making blanket statements without any substance is a sign of intellectual sophistication
February 5, 2026 at 2:41 AM
now *this* is a statement w substance
Reposted by jordan [ham]
At this point, I won't even have ice in my drinks, let alone
February 2, 2026 at 12:13 PM
At this point, I won't even have ice in my drinks, let alone
Reposted by jordan [ham]
I need to stop buying up domain names out of spite because I am surprised when I get charged for renewal two years after I was mad
February 3, 2026 at 2:36 PM
I need to stop buying up domain names out of spite because I am surprised when I get charged for renewal two years after I was mad
Reposted by jordan [ham]
I fell asleep while a Jellyroll song was on and now all of my neighbors’ catalytic converters are missing
February 3, 2026 at 1:15 PM
I fell asleep while a Jellyroll song was on and now all of my neighbors’ catalytic converters are missing
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Pizzagate deserved to be the name of something way more funny
February 4, 2026 at 1:23 PM
Pizzagate deserved to be the name of something way more funny
today’s workout brought to you by: working out in water registers as a wild amount of cals burned on the watch if it is real lol none of this is real, love warren g and nate dogg classic also McD 😎
February 5, 2026 at 1:14 AM
today’s workout brought to you by: working out in water registers as a wild amount of cals burned on the watch if it is real lol none of this is real, love warren g and nate dogg classic also McD 😎
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Guys, weeping with gratitude because of your generosity. this is a fundraiser my best friend and I started to help her sister spend more time with her terminally ill daughter. Please donate if you can we're trying to reach 16k. Thank you so much for sharing too gofund.me/9536bd2ab
Donate to Help Daphné's parents be there for her, organized by Cindy Rivet
version française au bas
Daphné is 7 years old. She loves school, playing with … Cindy Rivet needs your support for Help Daphné's parents be there for her
gofund.me
January 16, 2026 at 7:24 PM
Guys, weeping with gratitude because of your generosity. this is a fundraiser my best friend and I started to help her sister spend more time with her terminally ill daughter. Please donate if you can we're trying to reach 16k. Thank you so much for sharing too gofund.me/9536bd2ab
an honor and a privilege and a pleasure and a yeah buddy this is what it’s like to be #blessed ily so much @geraldinepiche.bsky.social
go.bsky.app/AqLM3Sw eat up!
February 5, 2026 at 1:03 AM
an honor and a privilege and a pleasure and a yeah buddy this is what it’s like to be #blessed ily so much @geraldinepiche.bsky.social
Reposted by jordan [ham]
the good news is if you walk barefoot enough your feet turn into shoes
February 4, 2026 at 11:00 PM
the good news is if you walk barefoot enough your feet turn into shoes
Reposted by jordan [ham]
I thought about posting a selfie but there’s already enough violence in the world.
February 4, 2026 at 11:14 PM
I thought about posting a selfie but there’s already enough violence in the world.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
blasphemy is a blast for me
February 4, 2026 at 11:21 PM
blasphemy is a blast for me
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Hope the next pandemic just makes my head swell super fast and explode like a balloon
But also painlessly because I'm a huge wuss. And instead of goo, it's sparkles
But also painlessly because I'm a huge wuss. And instead of goo, it's sparkles
February 5, 2026 at 12:08 AM
Hope the next pandemic just makes my head swell super fast and explode like a balloon
But also painlessly because I'm a huge wuss. And instead of goo, it's sparkles
But also painlessly because I'm a huge wuss. And instead of goo, it's sparkles
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Oh cool, you're on threads? That's what I'm hanging on by
February 4, 2026 at 6:15 PM
Oh cool, you're on threads? That's what I'm hanging on by
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Man, it’s wild that normal people just go to work every day while the people who run everything meticulously document their sex crimes
January 31, 2026 at 2:26 AM
Man, it’s wild that normal people just go to work every day while the people who run everything meticulously document their sex crimes
some people on bluesky are not following me and idk why tbh bc i’m a gddmn delight
some people on Bluesky think that making blanket statements without any substance is a sign of intellectual sophistication
Too many people on Bluesky think that relentless expressions of despair are a sign of intellectual sophistication.
February 5, 2026 at 12:09 AM
some people on bluesky are not following me and idk why tbh bc i’m a gddmn delight
Reposted by jordan [ham]
some people on Bluesky think that making blanket statements without any substance is a sign of intellectual sophistication
Too many people on Bluesky think that relentless expressions of despair are a sign of intellectual sophistication.
February 4, 2026 at 11:45 PM
some people on Bluesky think that making blanket statements without any substance is a sign of intellectual sophistication
i’m so srs when I say we as a people should do a public intervention on my neighbor that I just witnessed throw back 8 cans of diet coke. EIGHT. CANS. OF. DIET. COKE. in 2 hours. and it’s 2pm?!
February 4, 2026 at 10:07 PM
i’m so srs when I say we as a people should do a public intervention on my neighbor that I just witnessed throw back 8 cans of diet coke. EIGHT. CANS. OF. DIET. COKE. in 2 hours. and it’s 2pm?!