jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
Pinned
happy Black History Month
I wanna get taken to the farm like the old family pets
February 3, 2026 at 3:47 AM
I wanna get taken to the farm like the old family pets
Reposted by jordan [ham]
im a daytime midweek bowling alley ten.
November 9, 2025 at 7:46 PM
im a daytime midweek bowling alley ten.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
found elon
%#$@ would be a good name for a baby
February 3, 2026 at 2:16 AM
found elon
Reposted by jordan [ham]
face id only recognizes me when i have a shredded cheese beard
February 3, 2026 at 1:36 AM
face id only recognizes me when i have a shredded cheese beard
today’s workout brought to you by: fuck chronic illness imho but this song is always a fav bc anderson is a delight
February 3, 2026 at 1:22 AM
today’s workout brought to you by: fuck chronic illness imho but this song is always a fav bc anderson is a delight
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art not as hot
February 2, 2026 at 5:42 AM
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art not as hot
Reposted by jordan [ham]
there's an old man at the gym working out in boxer shorts a ribbed white tank top undershirt and black socks pulled up nearly to his knees and i have finally decided what i want to be when i grow up
January 31, 2026 at 6:49 PM
there's an old man at the gym working out in boxer shorts a ribbed white tank top undershirt and black socks pulled up nearly to his knees and i have finally decided what i want to be when i grow up
Reposted by jordan [ham]
a playlist called “lofi beats i fucked your dad to”
February 2, 2026 at 3:44 PM
a playlist called “lofi beats i fucked your dad to”
Reposted by jordan [ham]
When a basset hound's jowls droop, it's adorable, breed appropriate and perfect, when mine do it's unnatural, unsettling and I'm melting.
February 2, 2026 at 2:03 AM
When a basset hound's jowls droop, it's adorable, breed appropriate and perfect, when mine do it's unnatural, unsettling and I'm melting.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
BREAKING: The Worst People You Know Are Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much Worse Than You Know
February 2, 2026 at 5:59 PM
BREAKING: The Worst People You Know Are Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much, Much Worse Than You Know
Reposted by jordan [ham]
fuck i mixed up pavlov with schrödinger and now every time i ring a bell a cat might die
February 2, 2026 at 5:05 PM
fuck i mixed up pavlov with schrödinger and now every time i ring a bell a cat might die
Reposted by jordan [ham]
no one knows what reality is and yet here we are touching it and giggling like mad
February 2, 2026 at 7:12 PM
no one knows what reality is and yet here we are touching it and giggling like mad
Reposted by jordan [ham]
This day in history. 1952. In the UK the first TV detector van was unveiled, to be used to menace those with unlicensed TV sets. In Canada we had the same thing but for unlicensed personal Zambonis.
February 1, 2026 at 10:19 AM
This day in history. 1952. In the UK the first TV detector van was unveiled, to be used to menace those with unlicensed TV sets. In Canada we had the same thing but for unlicensed personal Zambonis.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
My tiny shred of sunshine today comes from the company I use for composting at my business, who signs off on all their emails with the salutation 'Worm wishes'
February 2, 2026 at 8:30 PM
My tiny shred of sunshine today comes from the company I use for composting at my business, who signs off on all their emails with the salutation 'Worm wishes'
Reposted by jordan [ham]
what if I wanna find out before I fuck around what then
February 2, 2026 at 9:52 PM
what if I wanna find out before I fuck around what then
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Me (when someone quotes my post): No, bitch
Me (when I quote someone's post & they detach it): No, bitch
Me (when I quote someone's post & they detach it): No, bitch
February 2, 2026 at 10:04 PM
Me (when someone quotes my post): No, bitch
Me (when I quote someone's post & they detach it): No, bitch
Me (when I quote someone's post & they detach it): No, bitch
Reposted by jordan [ham]
being the best friend that I can be (bringing an Italian party sub to the hospital after my friend gives birth)
February 2, 2026 at 6:10 PM
being the best friend that I can be (bringing an Italian party sub to the hospital after my friend gives birth)
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Reposted by jordan [ham]
in woke 2 we're putting woke in everything. we're renaming it wokelahoma. we're eating fried wokera. we're having a shoot out at the woke-k corral
February 3, 2026 at 12:20 AM
in woke 2 we're putting woke in everything. we're renaming it wokelahoma. we're eating fried wokera. we're having a shoot out at the woke-k corral
someone was like I don’t understand addiction and I was like I don’t understand how more people don’t have needles hanging out of their arms in this fucking world
February 3, 2026 at 1:10 AM
someone was like I don’t understand addiction and I was like I don’t understand how more people don’t have needles hanging out of their arms in this fucking world
Reposted by jordan [ham]
dry january gives way to black tar heroin february
February 1, 2026 at 3:58 PM
dry january gives way to black tar heroin february
Reposted by jordan [ham]
TONIGHT: @maddow.bsky.social sits down with independent journalist Georgia Fort following Fort’s arrest after covering an anti-ICE protest at a church in Minneapolis.
Watch The Rachel Maddow Show tonight at 9pm ET on MS NOW.
Watch The Rachel Maddow Show tonight at 9pm ET on MS NOW.
February 2, 2026 at 7:33 PM
TONIGHT: @maddow.bsky.social sits down with independent journalist Georgia Fort following Fort’s arrest after covering an anti-ICE protest at a church in Minneapolis.
Watch The Rachel Maddow Show tonight at 9pm ET on MS NOW.
Watch The Rachel Maddow Show tonight at 9pm ET on MS NOW.
I made a hard boiled egg for the first time in my life and felt like I accomplished some chef challenge only to accidentally drop it in the garbage disposal.
February 2, 2026 at 6:37 PM
I made a hard boiled egg for the first time in my life and felt like I accomplished some chef challenge only to accidentally drop it in the garbage disposal.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Swaddle my head and carry it against your chest like precious cargo while my body sits back at home in a tub of ice.
February 1, 2026 at 11:41 PM
Swaddle my head and carry it against your chest like precious cargo while my body sits back at home in a tub of ice.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
in the absence of electricity, water, and internet, we became very interested in birds
February 2, 2026 at 4:59 PM
in the absence of electricity, water, and internet, we became very interested in birds