jordan [ham]
@nursemurderer.bsky.social
Pinned
living that cutie patootie life
if one more influencer tries to convince me on some hot mess like cottage cheese and greek yogurt in a sweet potato while this world is doing what the fuck it is doing, I will burn this shit down
February 1, 2026 at 5:04 AM
if one more influencer tries to convince me on some hot mess like cottage cheese and greek yogurt in a sweet potato while this world is doing what the fuck it is doing, I will burn this shit down
Reposted by jordan [ham]
“you can’t ignore your problems forever” i can actually
January 31, 2026 at 8:44 PM
“you can’t ignore your problems forever” i can actually
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Me: trying to read.
The edible I ate an hour ago: initiating interdimensional travel.
The edible I ate an hour ago: initiating interdimensional travel.
January 31, 2026 at 2:24 AM
Me: trying to read.
The edible I ate an hour ago: initiating interdimensional travel.
The edible I ate an hour ago: initiating interdimensional travel.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Heated rivalry between myself and spicy potato chips.
January 31, 2026 at 3:22 AM
Heated rivalry between myself and spicy potato chips.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Guess I don’t get a soft girl era. Thanks Obama
January 31, 2026 at 8:08 PM
Guess I don’t get a soft girl era. Thanks Obama
Reposted by jordan [ham]
today’s workout brought to you by: sunbathing w neighbors after yesterdays 24 hour flu (?), and please keep the unrest going everyone bc I love seeing videos from my community barricading ice in parking garages 💀
February 1, 2026 at 1:55 AM
today’s workout brought to you by: sunbathing w neighbors after yesterdays 24 hour flu (?), and please keep the unrest going everyone bc I love seeing videos from my community barricading ice in parking garages 💀
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Living in the moment, watching the way fire flirts with the unpaid bills I’ve just tossed into the wood stove
January 31, 2026 at 2:53 PM
Living in the moment, watching the way fire flirts with the unpaid bills I’ve just tossed into the wood stove
Reposted by jordan [ham]
My take-out receipt just insulted me twice
January 31, 2026 at 7:45 PM
My take-out receipt just insulted me twice
if you ever see me on a horse just know me and the horse have no idea how I got there
January 31, 2026 at 7:48 PM
if you ever see me on a horse just know me and the horse have no idea how I got there
attempted today’s workout, wearing my america hates us burning flag hat, got in the pool and felt off immediately. so glad I made it out of water before the food poisoning or virus started pouring out of me 😭 FUCK ICE fuck everything. sad for us bc Catherine O’Hara is gone, but so happy for her 💔
January 30, 2026 at 10:17 PM
attempted today’s workout, wearing my america hates us burning flag hat, got in the pool and felt off immediately. so glad I made it out of water before the food poisoning or virus started pouring out of me 😭 FUCK ICE fuck everything. sad for us bc Catherine O’Hara is gone, but so happy for her 💔
Reposted by jordan [ham]
I get tired of saying it, but I’ll say it again: the nature of oppression in America is that they workshop it first on Black, Latino, Asian & Native people.
But it is always, in the end, coming for everyone.
But it is always, in the end, coming for everyone.
The arrests of journalists Don Lemon and Georgia Fort are a test for every MSM member with a platform. If you are not voicing your outrage at this blatant violation of the First Amendment, you are utterly discredited as a journalist.
January 30, 2026 at 4:46 PM
I get tired of saying it, but I’ll say it again: the nature of oppression in America is that they workshop it first on Black, Latino, Asian & Native people.
But it is always, in the end, coming for everyone.
But it is always, in the end, coming for everyone.
wait now the government is arresting journalists for covering the news in minnesota? I don’t think that’s an american sentence.
January 30, 2026 at 5:46 PM
wait now the government is arresting journalists for covering the news in minnesota? I don’t think that’s an american sentence.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
it's rude that so many old people are the same age as me
January 27, 2026 at 5:58 PM
it's rude that so many old people are the same age as me
remember when trump like defunded the post office or am I just stoned
January 30, 2026 at 12:02 AM
remember when trump like defunded the post office or am I just stoned
Reposted by jordan [ham]
I no longer think of men as attractive or not.
It’s
“Worth the trouble it will inevitably bring”
It’s
“Worth the trouble it will inevitably bring”
January 29, 2026 at 11:40 PM
I no longer think of men as attractive or not.
It’s
“Worth the trouble it will inevitably bring”
It’s
“Worth the trouble it will inevitably bring”
when even the british ppl need clarification
January 29, 2026 at 8:13 PM
when even the british ppl need clarification
tinder has taught me there are lots of nigerians looking for someone ✨like me✨
January 29, 2026 at 7:24 PM
tinder has taught me there are lots of nigerians looking for someone ✨like me✨
Reposted by jordan [ham]
I have no idea what I mean by anything.
January 29, 2026 at 5:30 AM
I have no idea what I mean by anything.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
If anyone has a cure or help with anxiety that isn't a substance I don't have on hand and can't get or an empty platitude like "calm down" or meditating with my bhole to the sun, I am all ears
January 29, 2026 at 3:42 PM
If anyone has a cure or help with anxiety that isn't a substance I don't have on hand and can't get or an empty platitude like "calm down" or meditating with my bhole to the sun, I am all ears
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Doctors without hors d'oeuvres
January 29, 2026 at 6:06 PM
Doctors without hors d'oeuvres
just talked to a neighbor in the elevator who said, “i’m running late for work, but does it really matter?” and I said “right? the world is on fire, but here I am to send my stupid emails,” and I think she started crying as she got off the elevator so maybe don’t sign me up for life coaching.
January 29, 2026 at 6:52 PM
just talked to a neighbor in the elevator who said, “i’m running late for work, but does it really matter?” and I said “right? the world is on fire, but here I am to send my stupid emails,” and I think she started crying as she got off the elevator so maybe don’t sign me up for life coaching.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Me: Hi.
Her: I don’t think so, lunatic.
Her: I don’t think so, lunatic.
January 29, 2026 at 2:28 AM
Me: Hi.
Her: I don’t think so, lunatic.
Her: I don’t think so, lunatic.
Reposted by jordan [ham]
Son, someday all this (motions towards a cold pitiless world bereft of justice) will be yours
January 29, 2026 at 1:56 AM
Son, someday all this (motions towards a cold pitiless world bereft of justice) will be yours