Cap’n Watsisname
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capnwatsisname.bsky.social
Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
Pinned
For every like I’ll yell through the wall to my neighbor I GOT ANOTHER ONE DARIN I TOLD YOU IT WOULD WORK
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Any time I don’t know the answer to a question, I say “the surgeon was the boy’s mother” just in case
November 11, 2025 at 12:46 AM
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game could no longer recognize game because game grew a robust mustache
November 10, 2025 at 10:46 PM
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If you keep saying that your life was on inside out the whole time you're gonna start believing in tags
November 9, 2025 at 4:11 PM
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Putting "in loving memory of times gone by" on all rear windows that face vintage racecar crash stock footage
November 10, 2025 at 4:50 PM
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A cave dweller discovered fire and because of that I have to perform tasks in exchange for colorful paper so my stomach is full.
November 10, 2025 at 3:36 AM
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If you can pin an animal down in the petting zoo for a three count, you get to take it home.
March 7, 2025 at 4:23 PM
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Don't stop searching for joy.
Track it down if you can.
Look in cluttered bookstores, historic theaters, haunted playgrounds, and misty moors.
Take joy out for tea, adventure, and gentle mischief across the land.
November 10, 2025 at 7:40 PM
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Honestly I’m still sore from the monster mash.
November 10, 2025 at 2:09 PM
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Just saw a Little Caesars employee get betrayed by their coworkers.
November 8, 2025 at 10:50 PM
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Sorry I can’t go. I have horse rehearsal. I have rehorsal. We rehearse the horses, all kinds. Usually there are a few of us at rehorsal and everyone has different kinds of horse for it. For horse rehearsal. Rehorsal
November 10, 2025 at 4:04 AM
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I'm running out of time to run a golf cart into a fruit stand.
November 10, 2025 at 4:54 AM
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anyone else need a necklace with a button to push for being in an "i've fallen and can't get up" mental space?
November 9, 2025 at 7:15 PM
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Speed dating is when you have to tell Keanu Reeves a little bit about yourself or this bus will explode
November 10, 2025 at 2:15 PM
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You know how when you uncover enough universal truths you reach a free personal one, I just got a realizations on off switch
November 10, 2025 at 5:40 AM
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don't listen to the inner voice preaching caution. drink the fourth iced coffee and ascend
November 9, 2025 at 2:59 PM
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So of course you were right not to tell the mysteriousness that it was misbuttoned, I tend to miss the point of mysteriousness
November 9, 2025 at 6:19 AM
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Establish dominance in a meeting by bringing donuts and saying no one can have any because they are for a later, more important meeting.
November 6, 2025 at 11:15 PM
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arugula Popeye

(he wears glasses)
November 9, 2025 at 9:37 AM
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v v
November 8, 2025 at 9:56 PM
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Saw someone with the same teeth as me at the coincidentist.
November 8, 2025 at 3:53 PM
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I can’t complain about watching Jurassic Park 7 because honestly that’s on me.
November 8, 2025 at 3:50 PM
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Good morning to everyone except the man in the yellow Hazmat suit who's staring at me through the glass
November 8, 2025 at 1:45 PM
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You may think you’re on top of things but I’m already in line at Best Buy
November 8, 2025 at 8:53 AM
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robot butler, please fall yourself down the stairs
November 8, 2025 at 5:29 PM
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[inventor of the bungee jump] no, you go first.
November 8, 2025 at 5:57 PM