Cap’n Watsisname
@capnwatsisname.bsky.social
Likes you and other things that are great. Magic bean farmer.
Recents: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:efdtjcx67l6vpztu7muhp64s/feed/aaabrbkkoo5lc
Best of: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:jiqppb3vymtquebk2yatb4mw/feed/aaaoxwn4kyzv4
Recents: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:efdtjcx67l6vpztu7muhp64s/feed/aaabrbkkoo5lc
Best of: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:jiqppb3vymtquebk2yatb4mw/feed/aaaoxwn4kyzv4
Pinned
How to build a nested list
1) Start like this
A) Then do this
Bird: I live here now
2) Make sure to get the bird out
Bird: NO
1) Start like this
A) Then do this
Bird: I live here now
2) Make sure to get the bird out
Bird: NO
THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE bsky.app/profile/capt...
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
PARTY GUEST: and what do you do?
ME: I’m a werewolf
PARTY GUEST: ooh of the London werewolves?
*awkward silence*
ME: no
ME: I’m a werewolf
PARTY GUEST: ooh of the London werewolves?
*awkward silence*
ME: no
February 16, 2026 at 3:05 AM
PARTY GUEST: and what do you do?
ME: I’m a werewolf
PARTY GUEST: ooh of the London werewolves?
*awkward silence*
ME: no
ME: I’m a werewolf
PARTY GUEST: ooh of the London werewolves?
*awkward silence*
ME: no
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
the mouth is the garage of the face
February 16, 2026 at 1:16 AM
the mouth is the garage of the face
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
[upon hearing the toughest guy in England pronounce tomato] I could take him
February 16, 2026 at 1:33 AM
[upon hearing the toughest guy in England pronounce tomato] I could take him
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
Who up wuthering they heights
February 14, 2026 at 9:11 AM
Who up wuthering they heights
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
People think the highest Michelin rating is 3 stars, but there is a hidden 4th level where the Michelin Man comes and kills everyone at your restaurant and mixes your ashes in tire rubber. Then he exalts you by wearing you around his waist for all eternity
February 7, 2026 at 3:47 AM
People think the highest Michelin rating is 3 stars, but there is a hidden 4th level where the Michelin Man comes and kills everyone at your restaurant and mixes your ashes in tire rubber. Then he exalts you by wearing you around his waist for all eternity
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
putting a rotisserie chicken on each hand and boxing people at costco
February 7, 2026 at 8:39 PM
putting a rotisserie chicken on each hand and boxing people at costco
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
[Arby's drive-thru]
(muffled voice from deep inside Trojan horse): ask for extra horsey sauce
(muffled voice from deep inside Trojan horse): ask for extra horsey sauce
February 8, 2026 at 1:02 PM
[Arby's drive-thru]
(muffled voice from deep inside Trojan horse): ask for extra horsey sauce
(muffled voice from deep inside Trojan horse): ask for extra horsey sauce
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
“and then this motherfucker puts a FEATHER in his CAP, and you are not gonna believe what he called that shit. guess. just fuckin guess.”
February 10, 2026 at 10:48 PM
“and then this motherfucker puts a FEATHER in his CAP, and you are not gonna believe what he called that shit. guess. just fuckin guess.”
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
hang on i have an idea (drags couch into the shower)
July 12, 2025 at 10:33 PM
hang on i have an idea (drags couch into the shower)
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
Dropping my Kickstarter for an exciting new board game where poets and musicians are lost at sea, and pitted against enormous underwater creatures intent on killing them so if you could get behind it that would be great, it's called Bards Against Huge Manatee okay thanks
February 12, 2026 at 9:47 PM
Dropping my Kickstarter for an exciting new board game where poets and musicians are lost at sea, and pitted against enormous underwater creatures intent on killing them so if you could get behind it that would be great, it's called Bards Against Huge Manatee okay thanks
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
if an adult plays the trombone in the peanuts universe it sounds like words
February 13, 2026 at 12:20 AM
if an adult plays the trombone in the peanuts universe it sounds like words
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
Oh I thought you said "neck romancer" no, I'm not into this at all, sorry
February 13, 2026 at 5:11 PM
Oh I thought you said "neck romancer" no, I'm not into this at all, sorry
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
kebab is actually short for kerobert
February 16, 2026 at 2:15 AM
kebab is actually short for kerobert
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
reese’s candy in the shape of george washington’s head dot jpeg
February 16, 2026 at 12:57 AM
reese’s candy in the shape of george washington’s head dot jpeg
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
*lowering my voice and leaning in as I tell someone that my dog is adopted*
February 16, 2026 at 1:04 AM
*lowering my voice and leaning in as I tell someone that my dog is adopted*
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
macarthur park
OK, game:
What song, in your opinion, has the highest music-to-lyrics quality ratio? That is, the music is catchy or even potentially good—but the lyrics are terrible?
Starter pick: “Hey, Soul Sister” by Train
What song, in your opinion, has the highest music-to-lyrics quality ratio? That is, the music is catchy or even potentially good—but the lyrics are terrible?
Starter pick: “Hey, Soul Sister” by Train
are you a music-first listener or a lyrics-first listener? I’m a music-first listener so I always judge a song based on whether I like how it sounds and most of the time idgaf about the lyrics
February 15, 2026 at 10:07 PM
macarthur park
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
Is it heart attacks or hearts attack, I want to get this obituary just right
February 15, 2026 at 11:03 PM
Is it heart attacks or hearts attack, I want to get this obituary just right
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
an ai that could answer your questions but won't because it doesn't like you
February 16, 2026 at 12:02 AM
an ai that could answer your questions but won't because it doesn't like you
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
Who owns the moon? Fun fact: it belongs to the werewolves, who claimed it in the 1950s.
February 16, 2026 at 12:06 AM
Who owns the moon? Fun fact: it belongs to the werewolves, who claimed it in the 1950s.
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
Just remember kids, St. Valentine is also the patron saint of epilepsy and bee keeping. He could fuck your shit up more than you know.
February 15, 2026 at 4:46 AM
Just remember kids, St. Valentine is also the patron saint of epilepsy and bee keeping. He could fuck your shit up more than you know.
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
Happy birthday to me
I'm saying it myself before anyone else can
Yay I did it
I'm saying it myself before anyone else can
Yay I did it
February 15, 2026 at 6:00 AM
Happy birthday to me
I'm saying it myself before anyone else can
Yay I did it
I'm saying it myself before anyone else can
Yay I did it
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
a radioactive spider bit me and now it won’t get out of bed
February 15, 2026 at 1:23 PM
a radioactive spider bit me and now it won’t get out of bed
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
thats one of the last times
ill let my dog do my taxes
ill let my dog do my taxes
February 15, 2026 at 5:27 PM
thats one of the last times
ill let my dog do my taxes
ill let my dog do my taxes
Reposted by Cap’n Watsisname
I said we were going to wax poetic, not wax a poet, Kevin. Put your damn shirt back on.
December 13, 2025 at 6:52 PM
I said we were going to wax poetic, not wax a poet, Kevin. Put your damn shirt back on.