That Dang Tanner, Trophy Ex-Wife 🗝
@tanner68.bsky.social
Pro-Cilantro. Tired. MS-haver. She/Her.
🕷🌱🍁
🕷🌱🍁
Pinned
If I comment on one of your skeets with "vf", don't be confused. It stands for "very funny" and I know it's catching on because people are talking about it, they're talking about it everywhere and nobody thought of it until I did. I'm quite an innovator especially in the area of tech, you know. I kn
A well-lubricated sandwich would probably fix me.
November 21, 2025 at 9:06 PM
A well-lubricated sandwich would probably fix me.
How long has it been since you've enjoyed your most recent well-lubricated sandwich? I ask because I care.
November 21, 2025 at 9:01 PM
How long has it been since you've enjoyed your most recent well-lubricated sandwich? I ask because I care.
Reposted by That Dang Tanner, Trophy Ex-Wife 🗝
CDC website edited to say chocolate milk probably comes from brown cows, maybe.
CDC website edited to say that there are only four elements: earth, air, fire, and water, and that atomic theory is not evidence-based.
CDC website edited to say that maggots spontaneously generate from spoiled meat, and all studies demonstrating this fact have been ignored by science authorities.
November 21, 2025 at 7:32 PM
CDC website edited to say chocolate milk probably comes from brown cows, maybe.
I once watched a video on "what makes the ultimate sandwich," and let me tell you something bbs: that man used the words "lubricate" and "lubrication" an uncomfortable number of times for somebody talking about food
November 21, 2025 at 7:32 PM
I once watched a video on "what makes the ultimate sandwich," and let me tell you something bbs: that man used the words "lubricate" and "lubrication" an uncomfortable number of times for somebody talking about food
Reposted by That Dang Tanner, Trophy Ex-Wife 🗝
Columbia House agents have surrounded my house. I knew this day would come, but they’re not taking me alive.
November 21, 2025 at 1:25 AM
Columbia House agents have surrounded my house. I knew this day would come, but they’re not taking me alive.
If your playlist doesn't contain any Streetheart, are you even living?
November 20, 2025 at 6:14 PM
If your playlist doesn't contain any Streetheart, are you even living?
Another day I can be grateful that I'm not a straight white man in America. I can't fathom how it must feel to live life in such constant abject fear 🥹
November 20, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Another day I can be grateful that I'm not a straight white man in America. I can't fathom how it must feel to live life in such constant abject fear 🥹
Reposted by That Dang Tanner, Trophy Ex-Wife 🗝
Ok so the “rear wiper” button in my car is not what I thought it was for
November 19, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Ok so the “rear wiper” button in my car is not what I thought it was for
Reposted by That Dang Tanner, Trophy Ex-Wife 🗝
wife: will you taste this dressing i made and tell me if it needs anything
me: *smacking lips* not enough islands
me: *smacking lips* not enough islands
November 20, 2025 at 12:25 AM
wife: will you taste this dressing i made and tell me if it needs anything
me: *smacking lips* not enough islands
me: *smacking lips* not enough islands
Reposted by That Dang Tanner, Trophy Ex-Wife 🗝
No animals were harmed during the making of this movie, but we did dress a gerbil up as a magician, which while not technically illegal does seem worth mentioning
November 17, 2025 at 11:14 PM
No animals were harmed during the making of this movie, but we did dress a gerbil up as a magician, which while not technically illegal does seem worth mentioning
Some of you aren't Down With The Sickness and it really shows.
November 18, 2025 at 5:28 PM
Some of you aren't Down With The Sickness and it really shows.
Reposted by That Dang Tanner, Trophy Ex-Wife 🗝
Happy news, friends! More than 7 years after receiving a diagnosis of Wandering Kidney, it's been traced to Omaha Nebraska, roughly 2,250 km from where I live, AND spotted on an intersection cam as recently as last Thursday!
January 30, 2025 at 7:17 AM
Happy news, friends! More than 7 years after receiving a diagnosis of Wandering Kidney, it's been traced to Omaha Nebraska, roughly 2,250 km from where I live, AND spotted on an intersection cam as recently as last Thursday!
Reposted by That Dang Tanner, Trophy Ex-Wife 🗝
I hope my made up words don't make you.....discomfortable
November 15, 2025 at 11:58 PM
I hope my made up words don't make you.....discomfortable
My sexual prowess as a character...
November 12, 2025 at 5:59 PM
My sexual prowess as a character...
Reposted by That Dang Tanner, Trophy Ex-Wife 🗝
netflix and chill? no thanks. how about cobb salads and cry.
November 12, 2025 at 5:14 PM
netflix and chill? no thanks. how about cobb salads and cry.
Reposted by That Dang Tanner, Trophy Ex-Wife 🗝
Doctor: I use an app to transcribe my visits with AI, is that OK?
Me: Sure
Doc: Great
Me: ᶠᵘᶜᵏʸᵒᵘᶜᵒᵐᵖᵘᵗᵉʳ
Doc: What was that?
Me: Nothing
Me: ˡⁱᵗᵗˡᵉᵇⁱᵗᶜʰᶜᵒᵐᵖᵘᵗᵉʳ
Me: Sure
Doc: Great
Me: ᶠᵘᶜᵏʸᵒᵘᶜᵒᵐᵖᵘᵗᵉʳ
Doc: What was that?
Me: Nothing
Me: ˡⁱᵗᵗˡᵉᵇⁱᵗᶜʰᶜᵒᵐᵖᵘᵗᵉʳ
November 12, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Doctor: I use an app to transcribe my visits with AI, is that OK?
Me: Sure
Doc: Great
Me: ᶠᵘᶜᵏʸᵒᵘᶜᵒᵐᵖᵘᵗᵉʳ
Doc: What was that?
Me: Nothing
Me: ˡⁱᵗᵗˡᵉᵇⁱᵗᶜʰᶜᵒᵐᵖᵘᵗᵉʳ
Me: Sure
Doc: Great
Me: ᶠᵘᶜᵏʸᵒᵘᶜᵒᵐᵖᵘᵗᵉʳ
Doc: What was that?
Me: Nothing
Me: ˡⁱᵗᵗˡᵉᵇⁱᵗᶜʰᶜᵒᵐᵖᵘᵗᵉʳ
We don't even deserve them y'all 🥹
MRI studies have revealed something amazing about dogs. Their love for their owners goes beyond food, toys, or even other dogs. Scientists discovered that when a dog smells its owner, a special part of its brain actually lights up more than it does when the dog smells food or another animal. Dogs!
November 12, 2025 at 5:32 PM
We don't even deserve them y'all 🥹
Reposted by That Dang Tanner, Trophy Ex-Wife 🗝
Determined to enjoy the holidays this year. That's why I'm holding New Family Auditions.
November 12, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Determined to enjoy the holidays this year. That's why I'm holding New Family Auditions.
Reposted by That Dang Tanner, Trophy Ex-Wife 🗝
Actively reducing my vocabulary to understand less
November 7, 2025 at 4:22 PM
Actively reducing my vocabulary to understand less
Reposted by That Dang Tanner, Trophy Ex-Wife 🗝
Give it to me, baby
[me when I take candy from a baby]
[me when I take candy from a baby]
November 6, 2025 at 8:09 PM
Give it to me, baby
[me when I take candy from a baby]
[me when I take candy from a baby]
Reposted by That Dang Tanner, Trophy Ex-Wife 🗝
Reposted by That Dang Tanner, Trophy Ex-Wife 🗝
Wishing upon my enemies a permanent pre-sneeze face
November 7, 2025 at 5:37 AM
Wishing upon my enemies a permanent pre-sneeze face
Reposted by That Dang Tanner, Trophy Ex-Wife 🗝
Reposted by That Dang Tanner, Trophy Ex-Wife 🗝
is that melted chocolate in your back pocket or are you extremely disappointed to see me
December 19, 2024 at 9:19 PM
is that melted chocolate in your back pocket or are you extremely disappointed to see me