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deranton.bsky.social
anton
@deranton.bsky.social
Geek of a generational kind
Fuzzy navel-lint gazer
Midlife crisis actor

My crumbs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:5wkkbx7wog4bwlyquc7fuity/feed/aaahxlf545dfw
Pinned
I start every morning meditating on whether there's any reason I need to be awake for any of this
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Monday, the Monday of Mondays.
November 10, 2025 at 7:42 AM
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monday, the day that’s bursting with, i just don’t give a fuck anymore, vibe
November 10, 2025 at 3:13 PM
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*calls in too tired to Monday*
November 10, 2025 at 4:01 PM
and so Monday arrives, aggressively garish like the morning sun that burns your retinas during an easterly morning commute
November 10, 2025 at 5:30 PM
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hello monday my old friend
you didnt bring me sex again 🎵

you brought me stress, work and meetings
and morons sending gifs on teams...
November 10, 2025 at 4:29 PM
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I like my coffee like I like my men, bitter and with a slightly unpleasant mouth feel
November 9, 2025 at 12:03 PM
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Murder, she suggested
November 9, 2025 at 8:38 PM
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I’ve started making pharmaceuticals in my garage if anyone wants to save a few bucks.
November 10, 2025 at 2:04 PM
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POLICE OFFICER [reading me my rights]: Anything you say can and will be held against you

ME: …boobies
November 10, 2025 at 3:01 PM
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If you’re seeing this post, it’s a sign from the Universe to do that thing you’ve been avoiding: Seeing this post.
November 10, 2025 at 9:28 AM
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The existence of biscuits and Triscuits implies the existence of quadriscuits
March 11, 2025 at 1:49 AM
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Of course I’m an alpha male.

*adjusts panties
November 9, 2025 at 7:50 PM
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Advice..No. Opinion...You're doing it all wrong.
November 9, 2025 at 7:01 PM
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Changes my ringtone to porn background music.
November 9, 2025 at 7:15 PM
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The smiling will continue until your morale improves
November 9, 2025 at 3:33 PM
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im a daytime midweek bowling alley ten.
November 9, 2025 at 7:46 PM
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tears are just eye piss
November 9, 2025 at 6:40 PM
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me: *makes a joke about cake*
them: lol, that’s so funny. i loved cake too until my dad got diabetes and lost his legs.
November 9, 2025 at 1:46 AM
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Gonna write a famous song called “The way you look online”
November 9, 2025 at 2:09 AM
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When CPAs break the law are they sent to accounty jail
November 7, 2025 at 9:06 PM
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*removes gag ball to make Face ID purchase
November 9, 2025 at 12:58 AM
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I’m rehearsing for Thanksgiving by crying hysterically while eating mashed potatoes with my hands.
November 9, 2025 at 1:06 AM
Attention all shoppers: your store rewards program is now tied to your performance at scanning and bagging your groceries in the self-checkout line
November 8, 2025 at 11:43 PM
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You are fucking it up for everybody!
November 8, 2025 at 8:33 PM