S🌟tella
@havishaf.bsky.social
I'm funny. I just don't show it because I'm humble. I'm also highly intelligent. And humble.
🇵🇸🇷🇺
La crème de la crème (patissière)
👉 https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xiql7unalmesci5sgalfj6on/feed/aaae4ledalxss
🇵🇸🇷🇺
La crème de la crème (patissière)
👉 https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xiql7unalmesci5sgalfj6on/feed/aaae4ledalxss
Pinned
S🌟tella
@havishaf.bsky.social
· Dec 15
People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.
In France, they say “bifler” for slapping a face with a dick.
Anyway.
How’s your day going?
Anyway.
How’s your day going?
February 5, 2026 at 2:44 PM
In France, they say “bifler” for slapping a face with a dick.
Anyway.
How’s your day going?
Anyway.
How’s your day going?
Reposted by S🌟tella
When faced with a difficult decision I like to ask what would Jesus do? The problem is he answers in Aramaic.
February 5, 2026 at 1:58 PM
When faced with a difficult decision I like to ask what would Jesus do? The problem is he answers in Aramaic.
Reposted by S🌟tella
Her: Why did you major in philosophy?
Me: Ehh. Know reason.
Me: Ehh. Know reason.
September 12, 2024 at 9:21 AM
Her: Why did you major in philosophy?
Me: Ehh. Know reason.
Me: Ehh. Know reason.
Reposted by S🌟tella
As the ancient Chinese proverb says, whenever you arrive at a fork in the road, remember to use your fucking indicator you asshole.
April 18, 2025 at 2:34 PM
As the ancient Chinese proverb says, whenever you arrive at a fork in the road, remember to use your fucking indicator you asshole.
Reposted by S🌟tella
This day in history. 1913. Greek aviators Lieutenant Michael Moutoussis and Ensign Aristeidis Moraitinis carried out the first naval air mission. Ensign Moraitinis lost control of his Farman MF.7 hydroplane when he flew too close to the sun and melted his moustache wax. Tragic.
February 5, 2026 at 10:14 AM
This day in history. 1913. Greek aviators Lieutenant Michael Moutoussis and Ensign Aristeidis Moraitinis carried out the first naval air mission. Ensign Moraitinis lost control of his Farman MF.7 hydroplane when he flew too close to the sun and melted his moustache wax. Tragic.
Reposted by S🌟tella
Me: I bet my back up retirement plan to disappear into the forest and become an eldritch horror doesn't seem so dumb now, does it?
Financial advisor: *sighs* You still need to rebalance to make sure you have the money for the logs to build your moss covered den.
Financial advisor: *sighs* You still need to rebalance to make sure you have the money for the logs to build your moss covered den.
March 5, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Me: I bet my back up retirement plan to disappear into the forest and become an eldritch horror doesn't seem so dumb now, does it?
Financial advisor: *sighs* You still need to rebalance to make sure you have the money for the logs to build your moss covered den.
Financial advisor: *sighs* You still need to rebalance to make sure you have the money for the logs to build your moss covered den.
Reposted by S🌟tella
her: We need to talk
me: As you wish
her: Your obsession with The Princess Bride is driving me crazy
me: Inconceivable!
her: That's it, I’m leaving you
me: I think you're bluff—
her: *slams the door*
me: *turning to camera* Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something
me: As you wish
her: Your obsession with The Princess Bride is driving me crazy
me: Inconceivable!
her: That's it, I’m leaving you
me: I think you're bluff—
her: *slams the door*
me: *turning to camera* Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something
June 19, 2024 at 1:17 PM
her: We need to talk
me: As you wish
her: Your obsession with The Princess Bride is driving me crazy
me: Inconceivable!
her: That's it, I’m leaving you
me: I think you're bluff—
her: *slams the door*
me: *turning to camera* Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something
me: As you wish
her: Your obsession with The Princess Bride is driving me crazy
me: Inconceivable!
her: That's it, I’m leaving you
me: I think you're bluff—
her: *slams the door*
me: *turning to camera* Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something
Reposted by S🌟tella
Sure, make fun of my cargo pants but sooner or later you're going to need a cocktail shaker or a map of 11th century France.
March 9, 2025 at 11:07 AM
Sure, make fun of my cargo pants but sooner or later you're going to need a cocktail shaker or a map of 11th century France.
Reposted by S🌟tella
*stares at my wanted poster*
But am I 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘥?
But am I 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘥?
January 3, 2024 at 2:30 PM
*stares at my wanted poster*
But am I 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘥?
But am I 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘥?
Reposted by S🌟tella
I know that I could never chop up a body with an axe should I ever need to dispose of a corpse. It’s not that I’m squeamish or anything, I just lack the necessary upper body strength.
February 4, 2026 at 2:04 PM
I know that I could never chop up a body with an axe should I ever need to dispose of a corpse. It’s not that I’m squeamish or anything, I just lack the necessary upper body strength.
Reposted by S🌟tella
Her: I just need someone who’s consistent.
Me: I have a track record of 100% for leaving my take-home bag at the restaurant.
Me: I have a track record of 100% for leaving my take-home bag at the restaurant.
June 21, 2025 at 12:21 PM
Her: I just need someone who’s consistent.
Me: I have a track record of 100% for leaving my take-home bag at the restaurant.
Me: I have a track record of 100% for leaving my take-home bag at the restaurant.
Reposted by S🌟tella
When I was younger I used to be satisfied with a glass of cheap, trashy, unsophisticated wine but now I’m all grown up I need at least 2 full bottles.
August 4, 2025 at 11:43 AM
When I was younger I used to be satisfied with a glass of cheap, trashy, unsophisticated wine but now I’m all grown up I need at least 2 full bottles.
Reposted by S🌟tella
This day in history. 1938. Hitler appointed himself German High Commander and renamed the Paul Ludwig Hans Anton von Beneckendorff und von Hindenburg Centre for the Performing Arts to the Adolf J. Hitler and Paul Ludwig Hans Anton von Beneckendorff und von Hindenburg Centre for the Performing Arts.
February 4, 2026 at 9:44 AM
This day in history. 1938. Hitler appointed himself German High Commander and renamed the Paul Ludwig Hans Anton von Beneckendorff und von Hindenburg Centre for the Performing Arts to the Adolf J. Hitler and Paul Ludwig Hans Anton von Beneckendorff und von Hindenburg Centre for the Performing Arts.
Reposted by S🌟tella
Me: So tired.
Brain: Hey, ever notice that when physicists show an illustration of how a massive star curves space time it's like when you sit on the couch and everything rolls towards you?
Me:
Brain: Just saying...you have mass.
Brain: Hey, ever notice that when physicists show an illustration of how a massive star curves space time it's like when you sit on the couch and everything rolls towards you?
Me:
Brain: Just saying...you have mass.
December 14, 2024 at 6:22 PM
Me: So tired.
Brain: Hey, ever notice that when physicists show an illustration of how a massive star curves space time it's like when you sit on the couch and everything rolls towards you?
Me:
Brain: Just saying...you have mass.
Brain: Hey, ever notice that when physicists show an illustration of how a massive star curves space time it's like when you sit on the couch and everything rolls towards you?
Me:
Brain: Just saying...you have mass.
Reposted by S🌟tella
Major Tom?
｡☆
･ﾟ*｡★ 🚀
･ *ﾟ｡
･ ﾟ*｡･ﾟ★｡ 🤸♂️
☆･｡°*.
ﾟ｡·*･｡ ﾟ*
ﾟ *.｡☆｡★
* ☆ ｡･ﾟ*.｡
* ★ ﾟ･
｡ * ｡
ﾟ☆
｡☆
･ﾟ*｡★ 🚀
･ *ﾟ｡
･ ﾟ*｡･ﾟ★｡ 🤸♂️
☆･｡°*.
ﾟ｡·*･｡ ﾟ*
ﾟ *.｡☆｡★
* ☆ ｡･ﾟ*.｡
* ★ ﾟ･
｡ * ｡
ﾟ☆
December 5, 2024 at 12:37 AM
Major Tom?
｡☆
･ﾟ*｡★ 🚀
･ *ﾟ｡
･ ﾟ*｡･ﾟ★｡ 🤸♂️
☆･｡°*.
ﾟ｡·*･｡ ﾟ*
ﾟ *.｡☆｡★
* ☆ ｡･ﾟ*.｡
* ★ ﾟ･
｡ * ｡
ﾟ☆
｡☆
･ﾟ*｡★ 🚀
･ *ﾟ｡
･ ﾟ*｡･ﾟ★｡ 🤸♂️
☆･｡°*.
ﾟ｡·*･｡ ﾟ*
ﾟ *.｡☆｡★
* ☆ ｡･ﾟ*.｡
* ★ ﾟ･
｡ * ｡
ﾟ☆
Reposted by S🌟tella
[waving around my wife’s dildo and making lightsaber sounds]
9: What ya doing?
me: umm… playing Star Wars
9: Oh. Mom sounds like Chewie when she plays that
9: What ya doing?
me: umm… playing Star Wars
9: Oh. Mom sounds like Chewie when she plays that
March 20, 2024 at 12:29 PM
[waving around my wife’s dildo and making lightsaber sounds]
9: What ya doing?
me: umm… playing Star Wars
9: Oh. Mom sounds like Chewie when she plays that
9: What ya doing?
me: umm… playing Star Wars
9: Oh. Mom sounds like Chewie when she plays that
Reposted by S🌟tella
I don't see how you can say it's too early in the day for whisky when the sun is clearly up.
March 8, 2025 at 1:28 PM
I don't see how you can say it's too early in the day for whisky when the sun is clearly up.
Reposted by S🌟tella
A Shih Tzu is just a dollar store knockoff of Sun Tzu.
February 3, 2026 at 2:29 PM
A Shih Tzu is just a dollar store knockoff of Sun Tzu.
Reposted by S🌟tella
It was an unpleasant business, but every four years, Grimace required a blood sacrifice, and well, nobody really much liked Brandon anyway.
February 3, 2026 at 1:48 PM
It was an unpleasant business, but every four years, Grimace required a blood sacrifice, and well, nobody really much liked Brandon anyway.
Reposted by S🌟tella
Saw Little Women. Totally misleading title. They stayed normal-sized the whole time. 2 stars.
August 16, 2023 at 3:02 PM
Saw Little Women. Totally misleading title. They stayed normal-sized the whole time. 2 stars.
Reposted by S🌟tella
My favouritest numbers, ranked:
10 tacles
9 ~ see also niet, non, no, nee, não etc.
8 🎱
7 deadly sins
6 the word for coitus in New Zealand
5 stars, would definitely recommend
4 skin
3 way
2 ti frutti
1 derwall
10 tacles
9 ~ see also niet, non, no, nee, não etc.
8 🎱
7 deadly sins
6 the word for coitus in New Zealand
5 stars, would definitely recommend
4 skin
3 way
2 ti frutti
1 derwall
September 4, 2023 at 2:26 PM
My favouritest numbers, ranked:
10 tacles
9 ~ see also niet, non, no, nee, não etc.
8 🎱
7 deadly sins
6 the word for coitus in New Zealand
5 stars, would definitely recommend
4 skin
3 way
2 ti frutti
1 derwall
10 tacles
9 ~ see also niet, non, no, nee, não etc.
8 🎱
7 deadly sins
6 the word for coitus in New Zealand
5 stars, would definitely recommend
4 skin
3 way
2 ti frutti
1 derwall
Reposted by S🌟tella
This day in history. 1509. The Battle of Diu in India saw the Portuguese navy defeat a joint fleet of the Ottoman Empire, the Republic of Venice, the Sultan of Gujarat, the Mamluk Burji Sultanate of Egypt, the Zamorin of Calicut, the Republic of Ragusa, the Ace of Base, and the Kings of Leon.
February 3, 2026 at 9:21 AM
This day in history. 1509. The Battle of Diu in India saw the Portuguese navy defeat a joint fleet of the Ottoman Empire, the Republic of Venice, the Sultan of Gujarat, the Mamluk Burji Sultanate of Egypt, the Zamorin of Calicut, the Republic of Ragusa, the Ace of Base, and the Kings of Leon.
Reposted by S🌟tella
“ SNAP! CRACKLE! POP! “
-my knees
-my knees
February 5, 2026 at 2:37 PM
“ SNAP! CRACKLE! POP! “
-my knees
-my knees
Reposted by S🌟tella
ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ʙɪᴛᴄʜᴇs ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ Bᴀᴠᴀʀɪᴀɴ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴍ
February 4, 2026 at 4:58 PM
ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ʙɪᴛᴄʜᴇs ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ Bᴀᴠᴀʀɪᴀɴ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴍ
Reposted by S🌟tella
I seem to have run out of jokes
jokers block I guess
jokers block I guess
February 5, 2026 at 10:31 AM
I seem to have run out of jokes
jokers block I guess
jokers block I guess