Canadian Bacon
@tashaneedshelp.bsky.social
Just your friendly bitch with a bacon tattoo.
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:smlooinqf3wzqi76fiugblgy/feed/aaagwxpjbtyuy
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:smlooinqf3wzqi76fiugblgy/feed/aaagwxpjbtyuy
Pinned
We’re all just a bunch of broken Doritos at the bottom of the bag.
This new me seems to smoke as much weed as the old me…
January 3, 2026 at 6:12 PM
This new me seems to smoke as much weed as the old me…
Reposted by Canadian Bacon
In my next life, I just want to be surrounded by fewer stupid people and more mojitos.
December 27, 2025 at 7:45 PM
In my next life, I just want to be surrounded by fewer stupid people and more mojitos.
Is 2026 like a no refunds after opening or what’s the deal here?
January 2, 2026 at 9:10 PM
Is 2026 like a no refunds after opening or what’s the deal here?
Reposted by Canadian Bacon
Try to put yourself in a position where they don't keep making you do cognitive tests.
January 2, 2026 at 7:08 PM
Try to put yourself in a position where they don't keep making you do cognitive tests.
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Caught myself groaning with desire at a big jar of pickles ugghhh
January 2, 2026 at 6:48 PM
Caught myself groaning with desire at a big jar of pickles ugghhh
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Jerking off a maple tree over my plate of waffles
January 2, 2026 at 6:03 AM
Jerking off a maple tree over my plate of waffles
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like a good neighbor
stay over there
stay over there
January 2, 2026 at 2:58 AM
like a good neighbor
stay over there
stay over there
Reposted by Canadian Bacon
Effortless, but it's just me not putting in any effort.
January 2, 2026 at 3:12 AM
Effortless, but it's just me not putting in any effort.
Reposted by Canadian Bacon
I’m already tired of this year.
January 1, 2026 at 10:55 PM
I’m already tired of this year.
Reposted by Canadian Bacon
my couch is just a potato holder
January 1, 2026 at 3:34 PM
my couch is just a potato holder
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have a very lowercase new year
January 1, 2026 at 1:27 PM
have a very lowercase new year
Reposted by Canadian Bacon
My resolution is No.
January 1, 2026 at 9:25 AM
My resolution is No.
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This yr I’m setting realistic goals:
1) get out of bed
2) don’t bite anyone
1) get out of bed
2) don’t bite anyone
December 31, 2025 at 12:03 PM
This yr I’m setting realistic goals:
1) get out of bed
2) don’t bite anyone
1) get out of bed
2) don’t bite anyone
Reposted by Canadian Bacon
"New year, new me", I say as I get a new me out of deep freeze and bury the old me in the woods
December 31, 2025 at 6:59 PM
"New year, new me", I say as I get a new me out of deep freeze and bury the old me in the woods
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When I say "Happy New Year to you and yours," I just assume the "yours" are a bunch of cats.
December 31, 2025 at 7:52 PM
When I say "Happy New Year to you and yours," I just assume the "yours" are a bunch of cats.
Shit, I slept through the whole thing! And I’ll do it again.
January 1, 2026 at 10:36 AM
Shit, I slept through the whole thing! And I’ll do it again.
Reposted by Canadian Bacon
We just finished a year, do we really have to start a new one?
January 1, 2026 at 2:37 AM
We just finished a year, do we really have to start a new one?
Next year I’m just gonna fake a vacation and lock my doors for the holidays.
January 1, 2026 at 1:30 AM
Next year I’m just gonna fake a vacation and lock my doors for the holidays.
Reposted by Canadian Bacon
Toss me in the sauce bro omg thank you
January 1, 2026 at 12:55 AM
Toss me in the sauce bro omg thank you
Reposted by Canadian Bacon
Looking forward to learning less about people.
December 30, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Looking forward to learning less about people.
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My resolution is to be less delightful
December 30, 2025 at 1:23 AM
My resolution is to be less delightful
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Me: I need to be productive today
Also me:
Also me:
December 31, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Me: I need to be productive today
Also me:
Also me:
Okay I have less than 48 hours to go until I can postpone getting my shit together for another full year.
December 30, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Okay I have less than 48 hours to go until I can postpone getting my shit together for another full year.
Reposted by Canadian Bacon
Try regifting your bullshit.
December 27, 2025 at 9:12 AM
Try regifting your bullshit.
Reposted by Canadian Bacon
Establishing dominance by taking the last piece of cake.
December 30, 2025 at 6:12 AM
Establishing dominance by taking the last piece of cake.