Lizzlepants 🐒
@lizzlepants.bsky.social
Pinned
my incubus woke me up all night with his restless leg syndrome
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to be annoying online
November 14, 2025 at 12:20 PM
ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to be annoying online
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Might fuck around and get a 100-year mortgage.
November 12, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Might fuck around and get a 100-year mortgage.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
My boss left me in charge for the afternoon, everyone go home
November 13, 2025 at 7:03 PM
My boss left me in charge for the afternoon, everyone go home
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I have eaten one and three-quarters of the rich and, yeah, I have vastly over-estimated my ability to do this alone.
November 13, 2025 at 7:46 PM
I have eaten one and three-quarters of the rich and, yeah, I have vastly over-estimated my ability to do this alone.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
gyms cost a lot but anxiety attacks are free your heart rate doesnt know the difference
November 13, 2025 at 2:18 AM
gyms cost a lot but anxiety attacks are free your heart rate doesnt know the difference
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
I can tell you care by the thoroughness of this restraining order.
November 13, 2025 at 6:35 PM
I can tell you care by the thoroughness of this restraining order.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
not all heroes eat crepes
November 13, 2025 at 2:01 PM
not all heroes eat crepes
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On Bsky, we are soulmoots.
November 13, 2025 at 6:58 PM
On Bsky, we are soulmoots.
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someone jazzily plucking a double bass while i list off my various grievances
November 13, 2025 at 5:34 PM
someone jazzily plucking a double bass while i list off my various grievances
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
What slightly-used hell is this?
January 27, 2025 at 12:39 PM
What slightly-used hell is this?
watching Milli Vanilli videos just to feel something
November 13, 2025 at 7:02 PM
watching Milli Vanilli videos just to feel something
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got into an argument with my cat again but we came to an agreement: she can do whatever she wants
October 8, 2025 at 4:55 PM
got into an argument with my cat again but we came to an agreement: she can do whatever she wants
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If you’re cold, I’m cold. Bring me a side of mashed potatoes and gravy
November 13, 2025 at 6:55 PM
If you’re cold, I’m cold. Bring me a side of mashed potatoes and gravy
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I am held together by weed and weariness
November 13, 2025 at 2:44 AM
I am held together by weed and weariness
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do you ever wonder if you just don’t have what it takes anymore to do things like fight the entrenched power or get out of bed
November 13, 2025 at 12:48 PM
do you ever wonder if you just don’t have what it takes anymore to do things like fight the entrenched power or get out of bed
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
if you walk into a room with the right amount of swag people’s heads explode
November 12, 2025 at 11:07 PM
if you walk into a room with the right amount of swag people’s heads explode
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
Madness takes its toll, Please have exact change ready..once inside don't suffer with insanity, enjoy every minute of it.
November 12, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Madness takes its toll, Please have exact change ready..once inside don't suffer with insanity, enjoy every minute of it.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
Don't walk towards me quickly. I'm a rescue with some trauma.
November 12, 2025 at 10:22 PM
Don't walk towards me quickly. I'm a rescue with some trauma.
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Time really flies when you’re on a plane
November 12, 2025 at 1:07 AM
Time really flies when you’re on a plane
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*rollerblades by your house
November 12, 2025 at 10:01 PM
*rollerblades by your house
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putting up posters around town saying "dont go online"
November 12, 2025 at 1:05 AM
putting up posters around town saying "dont go online"
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
We all have our crosses to bear. I am compelled to do kegels whenever I hear Tainted Love. We all have our crosses to bear.
November 12, 2025 at 3:32 PM
We all have our crosses to bear. I am compelled to do kegels whenever I hear Tainted Love. We all have our crosses to bear.
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
I bring confusion to the table.
November 12, 2025 at 4:24 PM
I bring confusion to the table.
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We are just gonna have to go demon mode
November 11, 2025 at 9:08 PM
We are just gonna have to go demon mode
Reposted by Lizzlepants 🐒
I don't want to make the most of my day, I want to sleep comfortably in many different positions
November 11, 2025 at 8:53 PM
I don't want to make the most of my day, I want to sleep comfortably in many different positions