Father Tim
@timfather.bsky.social
Head of (off-world) Shapes
Department for colouring in
Not a priest. And my name's not Tim
Puffins:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:35jhghs4olubzakttirev2vs/feed/aaaamlmjf63ri
🔞 He/Him, UK
Department for colouring in
Not a priest. And my name's not Tim
Puffins:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:35jhghs4olubzakttirev2vs/feed/aaaamlmjf63ri
🔞 He/Him, UK
Pinned
Father Tim
@timfather.bsky.social
· May 10
One too many gin & tonics yesterday & I ended up at the club, chatting to a russian in a sheer shirt with striking piercings. I told him he danced like a young Nureyev & we ended up at his families cabin in the woods. I'm meeting his Aunt in Riga on Monday to bring back a package. It's probably fine
Reposted by Father Tim
But one chortle from the epic gentlesir shall be all the recompense I desire..
January 21, 2026 at 5:49 AM
But one chortle from the epic gentlesir shall be all the recompense I desire..
Reposted by Father Tim
Bowling alleys are so cool I wish more restaurants made you change your shoes
January 25, 2026 at 1:02 AM
Bowling alleys are so cool I wish more restaurants made you change your shoes
Bidding war on my new self-help manual, "The Art of the Shitpost" has reached double digits.
January 25, 2026 at 9:32 AM
Bidding war on my new self-help manual, "The Art of the Shitpost" has reached double digits.
Reposted by Father Tim
Pitch for a movie: United Sakoku of America - after electing a right wing lunatic as President & the civil war that follows, the country closes its borders and goes through a 250+ year period of isolation & introspection.
[they emerge as cylons & it leads directly into Battlestar Galactica Ep1]
[they emerge as cylons & it leads directly into Battlestar Galactica Ep1]
Are You Alive Areyoualive GIF
ALT: Are You Alive Areyoualive GIF
media.tenor.com
May 23, 2024 at 7:12 PM
Pitch for a movie: United Sakoku of America - after electing a right wing lunatic as President & the civil war that follows, the country closes its borders and goes through a 250+ year period of isolation & introspection.
[they emerge as cylons & it leads directly into Battlestar Galactica Ep1]
[they emerge as cylons & it leads directly into Battlestar Galactica Ep1]
Hang on, I've got it. Everybody set your auto-reply to "It's a bit more nuanced than that. Reflect and come back to me".
Ok, now let's go play outside.
Ok, now let's go play outside.
January 25, 2026 at 9:29 AM
Hang on, I've got it. Everybody set your auto-reply to "It's a bit more nuanced than that. Reflect and come back to me".
Ok, now let's go play outside.
Ok, now let's go play outside.
Reposted by Father Tim
I’ve lost my thesaurus. I've lost it. It's lost.
January 23, 2026 at 11:43 AM
I’ve lost my thesaurus. I've lost it. It's lost.
Reposted by Father Tim
More than ever I think penguins are on to something
January 24, 2026 at 8:17 PM
More than ever I think penguins are on to something
Reposted by Father Tim
Please remember to get outside and look for the nice stuff.
It’s really good for your heart and soul.
Also, book that holiday, listen to favourite tunes, catch up on some reading, and tell your animal friends that you love them.
#NoDoom
#3HolidaysBooked
It’s really good for your heart and soul.
Also, book that holiday, listen to favourite tunes, catch up on some reading, and tell your animal friends that you love them.
#NoDoom
#3HolidaysBooked
January 24, 2026 at 2:13 PM
Please remember to get outside and look for the nice stuff.
It’s really good for your heart and soul.
Also, book that holiday, listen to favourite tunes, catch up on some reading, and tell your animal friends that you love them.
#NoDoom
#3HolidaysBooked
It’s really good for your heart and soul.
Also, book that holiday, listen to favourite tunes, catch up on some reading, and tell your animal friends that you love them.
#NoDoom
#3HolidaysBooked
Reposted by Father Tim
Me appearing to hold it all together
January 24, 2026 at 5:22 AM
Me appearing to hold it all together
Reposted by Father Tim
I love toothpaste. The problem is it takes two tubes before I feel full.
January 24, 2026 at 6:13 PM
I love toothpaste. The problem is it takes two tubes before I feel full.
Once, on holiday, I arrived at my hotel during siesta-time. All was quiet until a very happy dog came out to greet me. He led me excitedly back outside to a bush from which he retrieved... a piece of toast. And that is how the legend of Toastdog was born.
January 24, 2026 at 11:37 AM
Once, on holiday, I arrived at my hotel during siesta-time. All was quiet until a very happy dog came out to greet me. He led me excitedly back outside to a bush from which he retrieved... a piece of toast. And that is how the legend of Toastdog was born.
Reposted by Father Tim
*glassy eyed, slowly counting on fingers* There's... like... no way they're still Teenage.
August 15, 2023 at 7:44 AM
*glassy eyed, slowly counting on fingers* There's... like... no way they're still Teenage.
Reposted by Father Tim
Watched a man parallel park in one smooth move. "Show-off," I muttered. Then he got out and immediately walked into a mailbox.
January 21, 2026 at 11:31 PM
Watched a man parallel park in one smooth move. "Show-off," I muttered. Then he got out and immediately walked into a mailbox.
Reposted by Father Tim
Pill bottles filled with antidepressants you forgot to take make excellent baby rattles
January 24, 2026 at 5:50 AM
Pill bottles filled with antidepressants you forgot to take make excellent baby rattles
I always wanted to grow up to be a rapping pharmacist. Because I had sick rhymes.
January 24, 2026 at 12:14 AM
I always wanted to grow up to be a rapping pharmacist. Because I had sick rhymes.
The puffin for today is: Clive
January 23, 2026 at 7:31 PM
The puffin for today is: Clive
Reposted by Father Tim
Reposted by Father Tim
Reposted by Father Tim
He’ll be FURIOUS he’s not been nominated for an Oscar
January 22, 2026 at 2:48 PM
He’ll be FURIOUS he’s not been nominated for an Oscar
Reposted by Father Tim
It obviously means something to you. Have a heart.
Yes, I'm handing out dopamine where I can. Like the Easter bunny.
Yes, I'm handing out dopamine where I can. Like the Easter bunny.
April 11, 2025 at 1:17 AM
It obviously means something to you. Have a heart.
Yes, I'm handing out dopamine where I can. Like the Easter bunny.
Yes, I'm handing out dopamine where I can. Like the Easter bunny.
Reposted by Father Tim
I'm coming to you live from tomorrow, and I'm sorry to say it's not any better.
March 1, 2025 at 12:30 AM
I'm coming to you live from tomorrow, and I'm sorry to say it's not any better.
Reposted by Father Tim
new year new you aspirations getting crushed by same job same monday bullshit
January 5, 2026 at 5:47 PM
new year new you aspirations getting crushed by same job same monday bullshit
Reposted by Father Tim
calculating my age by number of seconds it takes me to get up from a crouching position
calculating my age by number of body position pillows I need to be comfortable
January 22, 2026 at 11:20 PM
calculating my age by number of seconds it takes me to get up from a crouching position
Really good Really bad
at something at something
\ /
Give it up
at something at something
\ /
Give it up
January 22, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Really good Really bad
at something at something
\ /
Give it up
at something at something
\ /
Give it up