Father Tim
@timfather.bsky.social
Not a priest. And my name's not Tim
Stay hydrated
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:35jhghs4olubzakttirev2vs/feed/aaaamlmjf63ri
🔞 He/Him, UK
Stay hydrated
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:35jhghs4olubzakttirev2vs/feed/aaaamlmjf63ri
🔞 He/Him, UK
Pinned
Father Tim
@timfather.bsky.social
· Sep 27
The problem with ID cards is that they inevitably lead to the creation of agencies interested in asking to see your ID card.
Reposted by Father Tim
woodstock for sheep
woolstock
woolstock
November 14, 2025 at 3:20 PM
woodstock for sheep
woolstock
woolstock
*Adjusting my bow tie*
Mayhaps you are familiar with my series of posts: "the bat monologues?"
Them: I just need a name for the cup
Mayhaps you are familiar with my series of posts: "the bat monologues?"
Them: I just need a name for the cup
November 14, 2025 at 3:12 PM
*Adjusting my bow tie*
Mayhaps you are familiar with my series of posts: "the bat monologues?"
Them: I just need a name for the cup
Mayhaps you are familiar with my series of posts: "the bat monologues?"
Them: I just need a name for the cup
Reposted by Father Tim
Reposted by Father Tim
girls don't like boys girls like trumpets & bookmarks
November 14, 2025 at 1:18 PM
girls don't like boys girls like trumpets & bookmarks
I have eaten one and three-quarters of the rich and, yeah, I have vastly over-estimated my ability to do this alone.
November 13, 2025 at 7:46 PM
I have eaten one and three-quarters of the rich and, yeah, I have vastly over-estimated my ability to do this alone.
Reposted by Father Tim
I remember one time my wife got mad at me for accidentally stepping on a spider so I said 'calm down PETA Parker' lol, and you guys, that did not help. At all.
November 13, 2025 at 6:15 PM
I remember one time my wife got mad at me for accidentally stepping on a spider so I said 'calm down PETA Parker' lol, and you guys, that did not help. At all.
Reposted by Father Tim
video games are like life
sometimes, there's a dog
sometimes, there's a dog
November 13, 2025 at 7:17 PM
video games are like life
sometimes, there's a dog
sometimes, there's a dog
Reposted by Father Tim
dog: woof
me: as I suspected
dog: woof
me: thank you for clarifying
me: as I suspected
dog: woof
me: thank you for clarifying
November 13, 2025 at 1:50 AM
dog: woof
me: as I suspected
dog: woof
me: thank you for clarifying
me: as I suspected
dog: woof
me: thank you for clarifying
Reposted by Father Tim
The fine art of posting drivel
November 11, 2025 at 5:25 PM
The fine art of posting drivel
Reposted by Father Tim
I may be an idiot, but at least I'm inception-proof
November 12, 2025 at 7:46 PM
I may be an idiot, but at least I'm inception-proof
Reposted by Father Tim
EXIT, PURSUED BY A BEAR: This is from a project I've started with my long-time writing partner, Karen Duffy. I think it's pretty good!
www.centiday.com/p/exit-pursu...
www.centiday.com/p/exit-pursu...
EXIT, PURSUED BY A BEAR
This is a pro-bear Substack
www.centiday.com
November 12, 2025 at 6:22 PM
EXIT, PURSUED BY A BEAR: This is from a project I've started with my long-time writing partner, Karen Duffy. I think it's pretty good!
www.centiday.com/p/exit-pursu...
www.centiday.com/p/exit-pursu...
At night you speak to me in dreams. Often I cannot catch the words but they still reassure. Sometimes, on the edge of consciousness, meaning filters through:
"What's wrong with you?"
You always did know what to say.
"What's wrong with you?"
You always did know what to say.
November 12, 2025 at 2:39 PM
At night you speak to me in dreams. Often I cannot catch the words but they still reassure. Sometimes, on the edge of consciousness, meaning filters through:
"What's wrong with you?"
You always did know what to say.
"What's wrong with you?"
You always did know what to say.
Owners of several multi-million $ a year patents for new EL tech, the bats purchase an island in the Indian Ocean & retire there.
Having reconciled, Denis and I remain in correspondence for many years until my death. At my funeral Denis reads the Eulogy and performs in one final Shower of Bats.
Having reconciled, Denis and I remain in correspondence for many years until my death. At my funeral Denis reads the Eulogy and performs in one final Shower of Bats.
November 12, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Owners of several multi-million $ a year patents for new EL tech, the bats purchase an island in the Indian Ocean & retire there.
Having reconciled, Denis and I remain in correspondence for many years until my death. At my funeral Denis reads the Eulogy and performs in one final Shower of Bats.
Having reconciled, Denis and I remain in correspondence for many years until my death. At my funeral Denis reads the Eulogy and performs in one final Shower of Bats.
Every ad campaign they pitch for just has people using echo-location to find flies bc that's what the bats know, but it is *wildly* successful.
Soon every ad on tv has people using echo-location & eventually it becomes the norm and the basis for whole new technologies incl self-driving cars.
Soon every ad on tv has people using echo-location & eventually it becomes the norm and the basis for whole new technologies incl self-driving cars.
November 12, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Every ad campaign they pitch for just has people using echo-location to find flies bc that's what the bats know, but it is *wildly* successful.
Soon every ad on tv has people using echo-location & eventually it becomes the norm and the basis for whole new technologies incl self-driving cars.
Soon every ad on tv has people using echo-location & eventually it becomes the norm and the basis for whole new technologies incl self-driving cars.
This idea has legs.
Unlike "Mr Davis" (because he is bats in a coat)
Unlike "Mr Davis" (because he is bats in a coat)
November 12, 2025 at 1:59 PM
This idea has legs.
Unlike "Mr Davis" (because he is bats in a coat)
Unlike "Mr Davis" (because he is bats in a coat)
If the bats stuff is popular enough I'm going to move the setting to a shared London townhouse and sitcom the hell out of it.
The bats go to work each day & nobody at the boutique advertising firm they run knows they are really a trenchcoat full of bats.
The bats go to work each day & nobody at the boutique advertising firm they run knows they are really a trenchcoat full of bats.
November 12, 2025 at 1:58 PM
If the bats stuff is popular enough I'm going to move the setting to a shared London townhouse and sitcom the hell out of it.
The bats go to work each day & nobody at the boutique advertising firm they run knows they are really a trenchcoat full of bats.
The bats go to work each day & nobody at the boutique advertising firm they run knows they are really a trenchcoat full of bats.
I left them a pretty good review on Deliveroo even though my chips were a bit soggy. You've got to leave the door open. Maybe next year.
November 12, 2025 at 11:01 AM
I left them a pretty good review on Deliveroo even though my chips were a bit soggy. You've got to leave the door open. Maybe next year.
You've got to fully commit to the Shower of Bats, otherwise it turns into the shit-show of bats. I think deep down Denis knows that.
November 12, 2025 at 10:46 AM
You've got to fully commit to the Shower of Bats, otherwise it turns into the shit-show of bats. I think deep down Denis knows that.
Nobody was sadder than me when Neville hurt his wing last year (except maybe Neville), but I said he wasn't ready.
November 12, 2025 at 10:45 AM
Nobody was sadder than me when Neville hurt his wing last year (except maybe Neville), but I said he wasn't ready.
Reposted by Father Tim
[sees everyone posting about the Northern Lights] *whispers to self* furore borealis
November 12, 2025 at 8:36 AM
[sees everyone posting about the Northern Lights] *whispers to self* furore borealis
Reposted by Father Tim
*takes long drag off cigarette, flicks it away*
listen kid, when i was your age we didn't have mobile phones, we sat around trimming our split ends and getting tan tattoos with paper stencils, we thought we had all the time uhh, i forgot where i was heading with this but- hey! where are you going?
listen kid, when i was your age we didn't have mobile phones, we sat around trimming our split ends and getting tan tattoos with paper stencils, we thought we had all the time uhh, i forgot where i was heading with this but- hey! where are you going?
November 12, 2025 at 7:06 AM
*takes long drag off cigarette, flicks it away*
listen kid, when i was your age we didn't have mobile phones, we sat around trimming our split ends and getting tan tattoos with paper stencils, we thought we had all the time uhh, i forgot where i was heading with this but- hey! where are you going?
listen kid, when i was your age we didn't have mobile phones, we sat around trimming our split ends and getting tan tattoos with paper stencils, we thought we had all the time uhh, i forgot where i was heading with this but- hey! where are you going?
Denis is Maitre D'... You don't even need that at a food truck
November 12, 2025 at 2:48 AM
Denis is Maitre D'... You don't even need that at a food truck
Remember the bats from about six weeks ago? Yeah, they run a food truck now. It's got a good buzz on the pre-chewed fruit streetfood scene.
November 12, 2025 at 2:30 AM
Remember the bats from about six weeks ago? Yeah, they run a food truck now. It's got a good buzz on the pre-chewed fruit streetfood scene.
Reposted by Father Tim
Gift idea for the cat lover in your life, my hilarious Cat Operator’s Manual (with free stickers!)
Maybe your #secretsantaAoNZ recipient hints at being a feline fancier.
Available online and at Whitcoulls , Paper Plus and gift stores nationwide
cuddleUnit5.com
Maybe your #secretsantaAoNZ recipient hints at being a feline fancier.
Available online and at Whitcoulls , Paper Plus and gift stores nationwide
cuddleUnit5.com
The Cat Operator's Manual - Get the Most from Your New Cuddle Unit
A fresh and quirky guide to understanding your cat, complete with technical information, warnings, insights into all of your Cuddle Unit 5™'s features and modes, and a bonus sticker sheet.
cuddleUnit5.com
November 11, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Gift idea for the cat lover in your life, my hilarious Cat Operator’s Manual (with free stickers!)
Maybe your #secretsantaAoNZ recipient hints at being a feline fancier.
Available online and at Whitcoulls , Paper Plus and gift stores nationwide
cuddleUnit5.com
Maybe your #secretsantaAoNZ recipient hints at being a feline fancier.
Available online and at Whitcoulls , Paper Plus and gift stores nationwide
cuddleUnit5.com
Reposted by Father Tim
Oh, you love me? *opens crypt door, seductively*
November 11, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Oh, you love me? *opens crypt door, seductively*