Father Tim
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timfather.bsky.social
Father Tim
@timfather.bsky.social
1.2K followers 290 following 2.2K posts
Not a priest. And my name's not Tim

Stay hydrated
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:35jhghs4olubzakttirev2vs/feed/aaaamlmjf63ri

🔞 He/Him, UK
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timfather.bsky.social
Drop and give me twenty, with one in each cheek 😂
Fondant or French fancies, like Mr Kipling used to make! Lemon ones were best.
November 7, 2025 at 12:34 PM
timfather.bsky.social
Well this is embarrassing. I only know 2 giraffe facts & I've already used them. Honestly I didn't anticipate this much demand. So instead here is a photo of giraffes I took myself in Kenya. This wasn't on my phone, so I had to wait to reply until I got home & could turn on my PC. Hope you enjoy.
4 giraffes looking majestic in the golden grass of a Kenyan nature reserve. Taken on film and transferred using a scanner, hence the quality.
September 14, 2025 at 6:32 PM
timfather.bsky.social
And yet...
Spiderman pointing at Spiderman pointing at Spiderman pointing at...
July 17, 2025 at 8:02 AM
timfather.bsky.social
If you visit Coventry Cathedral, don't forget to head outside to see Jacob Epstein's (no relation) "St Michael's victory over the Devil". It is striking; more so from certain angles.

[feel free to add your own photos below]
A moody b&w postcard showing the outside of Coventry Cathedral and the bronze St Michael standing over the Devil in victory. The outside red brick wall of Coventry Cathedral adorned with a bronze work by J Epstein (no relation) depicting St Michael standing in victory over the Devil. A strikingly lit night time shot of "St Michael's victory over the Devil" on the wall of Coventry Cathedral. A close-up of St Mich.... workman in 1958: jesus, would you look at that? The Devil is packing! We can't put this up on a cathedral can we?
June 29, 2025 at 4:04 PM
timfather.bsky.social
Barn

Owl
A barn owl displaying the width of its wings. There should be a word for that measurement, wing tip to wing tip.
June 1, 2025 at 6:32 PM
timfather.bsky.social
I'm sorry that when you suggested we "spice things up" I asked you to draw a circle of hair around each boob & add googly eyes so that we could roleplay Juan Sebastian Veron having a fight with his evil twin
Juan Sebastian Veron. Or is it? Juan Sebastian Veron. Or is it?
April 5, 2025 at 2:45 PM
timfather.bsky.social
Roses are red
Regional news about circus themed violence always gets me down...
Screencap from the BBC news website. There is a photo of a rural landscape, fields and trees but this is not relevant to the gag. Text on screen reads: "Dorset and Hants Live: Man attacked by 'clown'". Further context: this is a regional news story from the Dorset & Hampshire area (two counties in the south west of England). I have no idea why Hampshire gets shortened to "hants" but it is quite common.
April 3, 2025 at 10:25 PM
timfather.bsky.social
Don't say it, void...
4 panels, 3 of which are the same picture (in increasing close-up) of a mandiving backwards into the ocean. His moobs are very prominent because of the effects of motion. The final panel is a drawing of a man with his hand up, saying "calm your tits" below which is a drawing of a woman with comedically un-calm tits moving around. She is saying "no"
March 31, 2025 at 6:54 PM
timfather.bsky.social
Do you guys know about the Minack theatre? Carved into the Cornish cliffs at Porthcurno, in the very south west of England where the English channel meets the Atlantic. Built in the 1930s and with lines of benches that overlook the stage & water, it's a dramatic backdrop to any production.
The Minack Theatre, Cornwall UK. Curved benches of rock cut from the cliffs seat theatregoers looking down on a circular stage. The production is open to the elements like a roman amphitheatre. Behind the stage the land drops away to the sea (the English Channel). The Minack theatre at night. The stage is lit, the audience in semi-darkness. Two actors are performing. One imagines a great and famous Shakespeare play, as befits the venue.
March 31, 2025 at 2:36 AM
timfather.bsky.social
@ DHL
I don't have any money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills.
Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.
If you let my parcel go now that will be the end of it...
A DHL (un)delivery slip, saying: "WE HAVE YOUR PARCEL" (all caps!)
March 25, 2025 at 4:50 PM
timfather.bsky.social
Searching images for "muppet priest" to change my pfp & are you sure BBC?
A screengrap of an image search. Underneath the picture it says "The Muppet Christmas Carol. Bbc.com" The picture is clearly of David Bowie as the Goblin King in the film Labyrinth.
March 24, 2025 at 6:11 PM
timfather.bsky.social
It's not safe to go alone, take this:
A black & white still from Stand by Me, with jerry o'connell, river pheonix, wil wheaton & corey feldman.
March 19, 2025 at 7:09 PM
timfather.bsky.social
If you see this, post a photo from your device, no explanation:
A brown snake with a bulbous head because it has in its mouth a large white egg. Text on the picture says "Eggths"
March 16, 2025 at 5:40 PM
timfather.bsky.social
Originally lauded for his cutting and inciteful commentary on wealth-pooling under late stage capitalism, it later became clear that Father Tim just wanted a Dinosaur costume
A skeet by Father Tim which reads: "Cost of inflatable t-rex costume on amazon = $30 Population of Earth = 8.2bn Elon net worth = $364.5bn Elon could buy everybody a t-rex costume and still have $100bn left. Now is the time for civil disobedience."
March 3, 2025 at 5:26 PM