FauxNewdAlt
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fauxnewdalt.bsky.social
FauxNewdAlt
@fauxnewdalt.bsky.social
*ALT TEXTS*
pfp: black/white cat face
bp: black/brown/white dog face
~prone to reskeet & delskeet~
(probably)
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
February 13, 2026 at 12:32 AM
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I got the missus the best Valentines gift today:

www.homedepot.com/p/O-Cedar-Ri...
February 13, 2026 at 12:33 AM
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how i look on my
dating profile how i look IRL
February 13, 2026 at 12:39 AM
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Good evening.
February 13, 2026 at 12:40 AM
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But were you ever brawling in the back of a pick-up truck, doing 55 mph down the highway, stupid drunk?
February 12, 2026 at 11:08 PM
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Let the light in
February 12, 2026 at 10:30 PM
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networking at the farm brewery
February 12, 2026 at 10:34 PM
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February 12, 2026 at 9:00 PM
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Oh ffs, just do it already!
February 12, 2026 at 8:49 PM
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I'm not even sure that a Snickers bar would fix me this afternoon.
February 12, 2026 at 8:46 PM
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he doesn’t know it yet but my valentine is the jovial guy handing me my order at the dispensary
February 12, 2026 at 7:18 PM
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Am I the only one who's wondering how long a stardate is?
February 12, 2026 at 7:48 PM
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Getting ready for work.
Eating a piece of cheese.
Practicing that smile. Pumping up the jam.
February 12, 2026 at 8:15 PM
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coffee and sourdough nutella toast with halva crumbled on top

there are no rules
February 12, 2026 at 6:21 PM
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What do you mean my tattoo is not covered by my insurance? How else am I supposed to process trauma?!
February 12, 2026 at 6:22 PM
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This is only temporary.
*motions to life
February 12, 2026 at 5:21 PM
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A furry purry Blerry is in no hurry to scurry
February 12, 2026 at 5:25 PM
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Lunch. 🍛🍚🥢🍶
February 12, 2026 at 5:36 PM
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the spelling of lasagna upsets me
February 12, 2026 at 5:47 PM
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Me pulling a hang nail: how is there this much finger on my finger
February 12, 2026 at 5:58 PM
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I’ll subskeet you if you subskeet me
February 12, 2026 at 6:03 PM
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subskeet me harder daddy

kidding
sadly nobody subskeeting me in the first place
February 12, 2026 at 6:02 PM
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*eats a peanut butter and 50 mg “mango tango” gummy sandwich for lunch*
February 12, 2026 at 6:15 PM
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May the horrors of the world miss you today.
February 12, 2026 at 12:26 PM
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A mallard duck nearly flew right into me this morning - is that good or bad luck?
February 12, 2026 at 12:26 PM