ScotchTape
@therealscotchtape.bsky.social
Your Mom Loves Me.
Deal with it.
Deal with it.
Pinned
Listen.
Real talk.
If you don’t dip your bacon and/or sausage in your pancake syrup, are you really living a full life?
Real talk.
If you don’t dip your bacon and/or sausage in your pancake syrup, are you really living a full life?
Reposted by ScotchTape
Don't talk to me like you haven't stuck a finger in your ass just to see what it felt like
November 11, 2025 at 5:17 AM
Don't talk to me like you haven't stuck a finger in your ass just to see what it felt like
Reposted by ScotchTape
Bedtime musings: Why do my nightgown and robe have deep pockets, but my regular clothes don't?
#bedtimemusings
#bedtimemusings
November 11, 2025 at 5:06 AM
Bedtime musings: Why do my nightgown and robe have deep pockets, but my regular clothes don't?
#bedtimemusings
#bedtimemusings
Reposted by ScotchTape
I crave endless attention and total isolation at the same time.
November 11, 2025 at 3:13 AM
I crave endless attention and total isolation at the same time.
Reposted by ScotchTape
they say you are what you eat, which is why i’m a huge pussy
November 11, 2025 at 2:39 AM
they say you are what you eat, which is why i’m a huge pussy
And think about Jan at the Toyota-thon.
i have a feeling all these tariffs are going to dampen everyone's Honda Days spirit this year
November 11, 2025 at 2:33 AM
And think about Jan at the Toyota-thon.
Reposted by ScotchTape
I have a mild cold, so I'll be slowly dying in bed for the next three days.
November 10, 2025 at 2:36 PM
I have a mild cold, so I'll be slowly dying in bed for the next three days.
I made a chicken ranch potato casserole for dinner tonight. Always a hit with the fam.
Now I am going to try and relax after a strenuous day off.
It’s seems like I go to work just to relax these days.
Now I am going to try and relax after a strenuous day off.
It’s seems like I go to work just to relax these days.
November 11, 2025 at 2:27 AM
I made a chicken ranch potato casserole for dinner tonight. Always a hit with the fam.
Now I am going to try and relax after a strenuous day off.
It’s seems like I go to work just to relax these days.
Now I am going to try and relax after a strenuous day off.
It’s seems like I go to work just to relax these days.
Reposted by ScotchTape
Every time Kim Davis loses in court we all get 10% more gay
November 11, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Every time Kim Davis loses in court we all get 10% more gay
Reposted by ScotchTape
PSA:
With beef prices skyrocketing, chicken prices have also started to rise. Here's a solution to help you fight inflation.
With beef prices skyrocketing, chicken prices have also started to rise. Here's a solution to help you fight inflation.
November 11, 2025 at 12:27 AM
PSA:
With beef prices skyrocketing, chicken prices have also started to rise. Here's a solution to help you fight inflation.
With beef prices skyrocketing, chicken prices have also started to rise. Here's a solution to help you fight inflation.
“Good manners”
I am sure this bellend doesn’t have to worry about people showing up at him home unannounced.
Unless it’s his Nan.
I am sure this bellend doesn’t have to worry about people showing up at him home unannounced.
Unless it’s his Nan.
To be fair, you're "NY based". I'm sure unannounced visitors are given short shrift and heavy use of the word "asswipe" applies. In Britain we're slightly more refined. Tea, milk, coffee, sugar, port, brandy, gin, whisky... it's good manners.
November 11, 2025 at 12:26 AM
“Good manners”
I am sure this bellend doesn’t have to worry about people showing up at him home unannounced.
Unless it’s his Nan.
I am sure this bellend doesn’t have to worry about people showing up at him home unannounced.
Unless it’s his Nan.
I don’t either, I take Polaroids and snail mail them.
I don’t have any pictures of my dick on my phone so you’ll have to settle for a ball pic:
November 10, 2025 at 11:11 PM
I don’t either, I take Polaroids and snail mail them.
If you follow a TERF and like their posts and interact with them, I’m gonna assume you’re also a TERF.
November 10, 2025 at 10:52 PM
If you follow a TERF and like their posts and interact with them, I’m gonna assume you’re also a TERF.
Reposted by ScotchTape
POLICE OFFICER [reading me my rights]: Anything you say can and will be held against you
ME: …boobies
ME: …boobies
November 10, 2025 at 3:01 PM
POLICE OFFICER [reading me my rights]: Anything you say can and will be held against you
ME: …boobies
ME: …boobies
Reposted by ScotchTape
naked taters in your area need to be buttered
November 10, 2025 at 2:46 PM
naked taters in your area need to be buttered
Reposted by ScotchTape
Reposted by ScotchTape
Christmas puns will ruin this place.
Yule see.
Yule see.
November 6, 2025 at 11:33 PM
Christmas puns will ruin this place.
Yule see.
Yule see.
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If you plaster the ass of your car with enough Fraternal Order of the Police stickers, the King of Police will come and give you a li’l kiss on the forehead.
November 10, 2025 at 2:09 PM
If you plaster the ass of your car with enough Fraternal Order of the Police stickers, the King of Police will come and give you a li’l kiss on the forehead.
Reposted by ScotchTape
Monday motivation
November 10, 2025 at 2:13 PM
Monday motivation
Reposted by ScotchTape
I, state name here, do solemnly swear to shitpost to the best of my ability until further notice
November 10, 2025 at 1:11 PM
I, state name here, do solemnly swear to shitpost to the best of my ability until further notice
Morning gang…
*puts out coffee, tea and toast*
Titties.
*puts out coffee, tea and toast*
Titties.
November 10, 2025 at 1:47 PM
Morning gang…
*puts out coffee, tea and toast*
Titties.
*puts out coffee, tea and toast*
Titties.
Reposted by ScotchTape
if i was a phone my battery would probably be at like 1% or somethign
November 10, 2025 at 3:43 AM
if i was a phone my battery would probably be at like 1% or somethign
This is about me.
You deserve to be happy. I mean, it's not going to happen, but you deserve it.
November 10, 2025 at 3:43 AM
This is about me.
Reposted by ScotchTape
This cat is just like me fr
November 10, 2025 at 12:58 AM
This cat is just like me fr
Reposted by ScotchTape
Welcome to Bluesky. Someone who doesn't follow you will be assigned shortly to fact check your jokes and point out the isolated instances in which your specific premise does not apply to them.
November 10, 2025 at 1:13 AM
Welcome to Bluesky. Someone who doesn't follow you will be assigned shortly to fact check your jokes and point out the isolated instances in which your specific premise does not apply to them.