Queen Mother
@weirdmiddlechild.bsky.social
Getting lost in the sauce since 19something something
You're allowed to use your phone at church if something is funny. Jesus was always pulling practical jokes and skeeting bangers. Dude was hilarious.
Let me know when you get back from church, I have the funniest thing to tell you guys
February 8, 2026 at 1:03 PM
You're allowed to use your phone at church if something is funny. Jesus was always pulling practical jokes and skeeting bangers. Dude was hilarious.
Why is New Year's Eve the only holiday with giant balls to gaze adoring at as the main event? I want to celebrate more huge balls in my life.
February 8, 2026 at 11:34 AM
Why is New Year's Eve the only holiday with giant balls to gaze adoring at as the main event? I want to celebrate more huge balls in my life.
Reposted by Queen Mother
So, this guy I thought was my friend insulted my family and damaged my social position so I told him I had a brand new Mountain Dew flavor in my basement and then I bricked him up and left him to die and man, he was really bummed there was no actual Mountain Dew Booberry Blast down there.
February 8, 2026 at 7:44 AM
So, this guy I thought was my friend insulted my family and damaged my social position so I told him I had a brand new Mountain Dew flavor in my basement and then I bricked him up and left him to die and man, he was really bummed there was no actual Mountain Dew Booberry Blast down there.
Reposted by Queen Mother
Releasing my pheromones like venom
February 7, 2026 at 9:22 PM
Releasing my pheromones like venom
Not all of this blood is mine, okay
February 8, 2026 at 4:16 AM
Not all of this blood is mine, okay
Reposted by Queen Mother
Omw to pet your cat like
a man wearing a top hat and a blue jacket with the word berghaus on the front
Alt: a man wearing a top hat and a blue jacket with his hand outstretched glides forward without moving his limbs or body.
media.tenor.com
February 8, 2026 at 3:17 AM
Omw to pet your cat like
I want a Sherlock Holmes book but the mystery he solves is how to get me the good dickin'. Oh and there's dinosaurs too.
February 8, 2026 at 3:25 AM
I want a Sherlock Holmes book but the mystery he solves is how to get me the good dickin'. Oh and there's dinosaurs too.
Fighting the urge to skeet my bullshit so I get responses with this face
February 8, 2026 at 2:09 AM
Fighting the urge to skeet my bullshit so I get responses with this face
I just found out my cat's a pirate! He left so much buried treasure for me to uncover.
a woman in a white shirt is playing in the sand with a teddy bear in the background
Alt: a woman in a white shirt is digging in the sand with a teddy bear and beach toys in the background
media.tenor.com
February 8, 2026 at 1:53 AM
I just found out my cat's a pirate! He left so much buried treasure for me to uncover.
Why can't I have romance like this in my life?
I need someone to cradle me like an idiot baby and whisper demonic curses in my ear
February 8, 2026 at 1:17 AM
Why can't I have romance like this in my life?
Reposted by Queen Mother
I like how everyone on bluesky goes to the toilet with me so I don't get lonely
February 7, 2026 at 11:53 PM
I like how everyone on bluesky goes to the toilet with me so I don't get lonely
Reposted by Queen Mother
best friends are the worst influences
February 7, 2026 at 10:29 PM
best friends are the worst influences
After a quick bang sesh, Cousin Olive Garden has agreed to let me stay the night in his backroom. But I got to help sweep the floors so Auntie Darden don't get mad.
February 7, 2026 at 10:41 PM
After a quick bang sesh, Cousin Olive Garden has agreed to let me stay the night in his backroom. But I got to help sweep the floors so Auntie Darden don't get mad.
I marched my ass up to Cousin Olive Garden to demand an explanation for why they not treating me like family.
February 7, 2026 at 9:18 PM
I marched my ass up to Cousin Olive Garden to demand an explanation for why they not treating me like family.
My aphasia is so fucking bad. It's embarrassing. Like- brain- dude, you know words..just do the thing. You fucking freak.
February 7, 2026 at 8:26 PM
My aphasia is so fucking bad. It's embarrassing. Like- brain- dude, you know words..just do the thing. You fucking freak.
This is about me, isn't it?
boy i’m sure shocked at some of the stuff people think is ok to post
February 7, 2026 at 7:31 PM
This is about me, isn't it?
Olive Garden says they're my family but they won't let me spend the night when I don't have a couch to crash on.
February 7, 2026 at 7:08 PM
Olive Garden says they're my family but they won't let me spend the night when I don't have a couch to crash on.
I'm going to lay an egg & throw it at your house
February 7, 2026 at 6:09 PM
I'm going to lay an egg & throw it at your house
Reposted by Queen Mother
They say penguins mate for life, but that's not true. Eventually, the zookeeper makes you give her back.
February 7, 2026 at 5:37 PM
They say penguins mate for life, but that's not true. Eventually, the zookeeper makes you give her back.
Your likes and reposts feel like the love I never received from my parents
February 7, 2026 at 4:57 PM
Your likes and reposts feel like the love I never received from my parents
Reposted by Queen Mother
The first rule of introverts club, no one ever turns up to introverts club!
February 7, 2026 at 4:43 PM
The first rule of introverts club, no one ever turns up to introverts club!
I don't understand the purpose of any of this. Hasn't deterred me one bit tho.
February 7, 2026 at 4:00 PM
I don't understand the purpose of any of this. Hasn't deterred me one bit tho.
Reposted by Queen Mother
plot for Frozen 3 just leaked
you should build me a wickerman
February 7, 2026 at 6:07 AM
plot for Frozen 3 just leaked
Audrey II: Feed me, Seymour. Feed me all night long.
Seymour: (holds out bleeding finger)
Audrey II: No..not that (gazes longing at Seymour's crotch). We need to stop kidding ourselves. This is happening. (licks thick lips with anticipation)
Seymour: (holds out bleeding finger)
Audrey II: No..not that (gazes longing at Seymour's crotch). We need to stop kidding ourselves. This is happening. (licks thick lips with anticipation)
February 7, 2026 at 2:49 PM
Audrey II: Feed me, Seymour. Feed me all night long.
Seymour: (holds out bleeding finger)
Audrey II: No..not that (gazes longing at Seymour's crotch). We need to stop kidding ourselves. This is happening. (licks thick lips with anticipation)
Seymour: (holds out bleeding finger)
Audrey II: No..not that (gazes longing at Seymour's crotch). We need to stop kidding ourselves. This is happening. (licks thick lips with anticipation)