Queen Mother
@weirdmiddlechild.bsky.social
Getting lost in the sauce since 19something something
It's late. Come get in bed with me, baby. Tomorrow, we're hunting down a Bigfoot.
February 9, 2026 at 4:58 AM
It's late. Come get in bed with me, baby. Tomorrow, we're hunting down a Bigfoot.
I decided to make a macaroni necklace for my mom (thought it'd be a cute gift for her upcoming birthday). Didn't have any macaroni so I'm using black olives. And I'm low on string so I'm recycling last night's dental floss. Anyway..crafts are fun, right?
February 9, 2026 at 3:40 AM
I decided to make a macaroni necklace for my mom (thought it'd be a cute gift for her upcoming birthday). Didn't have any macaroni so I'm using black olives. And I'm low on string so I'm recycling last night's dental floss. Anyway..crafts are fun, right?
Bigfoot stole my car
February 9, 2026 at 2:22 AM
Bigfoot stole my car
I have no idea what happened at the superbowl but I'm going to pretend like I did
February 9, 2026 at 1:10 AM
I have no idea what happened at the superbowl but I'm going to pretend like I did
I had a dream I was trying to sleep with Shrek. His wife found out and beat my ass. But irl, I think i could take her.
February 9, 2026 at 12:25 AM
I had a dream I was trying to sleep with Shrek. His wife found out and beat my ass. But irl, I think i could take her.
Let's trade organs. One pancreas for your calliope.
February 8, 2026 at 11:07 PM
Let's trade organs. One pancreas for your calliope.
Ariel the mermaid shoulda ate all the fish once she was on land. That's how you prove you're the dominant species.
February 8, 2026 at 9:26 PM
Ariel the mermaid shoulda ate all the fish once she was on land. That's how you prove you're the dominant species.
I fed my garbage disposal after midnight and it turned into this. Keeping it as a pet. You think Susan is a good name?
a black and white image of a monster 's mouth and teeth on a black background .
Alt: a black and white image of a monster 's mouth and teeth on a black background .
media.tenor.com
February 8, 2026 at 7:57 PM
I fed my garbage disposal after midnight and it turned into this. Keeping it as a pet. You think Susan is a good name?
Where the fuck is this really nice owl I've been promised? I've been waiting all day.
February 8, 2026 at 5:22 PM
Where the fuck is this really nice owl I've been promised? I've been waiting all day.
I accidentally crushed the entire smurf village. In my defense, I wasn't looking where I was going.
February 8, 2026 at 3:25 PM
I accidentally crushed the entire smurf village. In my defense, I wasn't looking where I was going.
I stepped into a ring of magic cookies and was transported to the Keebler cookie factory. They immediately put me to work. The conditions here are horrendous.
February 8, 2026 at 2:22 PM
I stepped into a ring of magic cookies and was transported to the Keebler cookie factory. They immediately put me to work. The conditions here are horrendous.
Drop something SCALY 🐉🎹🖤⚖️🐊
February 8, 2026 at 1:30 PM
Drop something SCALY 🐉🎹🖤⚖️🐊
You're allowed to use your phone at church if something is funny. Jesus was always pulling practical jokes and skeeting bangers. Dude was hilarious.
Let me know when you get back from church, I have the funniest thing to tell you guys
February 8, 2026 at 1:03 PM
You're allowed to use your phone at church if something is funny. Jesus was always pulling practical jokes and skeeting bangers. Dude was hilarious.
Why is New Year's Eve the only holiday with giant balls to gaze adoring at as the main event? I want to celebrate more huge balls in my life.
February 8, 2026 at 11:34 AM
Why is New Year's Eve the only holiday with giant balls to gaze adoring at as the main event? I want to celebrate more huge balls in my life.
Reposted by Queen Mother
So, this guy I thought was my friend insulted my family and damaged my social position so I told him I had a brand new Mountain Dew flavor in my basement and then I bricked him up and left him to die and man, he was really bummed there was no actual Mountain Dew Booberry Blast down there.
February 8, 2026 at 7:44 AM
So, this guy I thought was my friend insulted my family and damaged my social position so I told him I had a brand new Mountain Dew flavor in my basement and then I bricked him up and left him to die and man, he was really bummed there was no actual Mountain Dew Booberry Blast down there.
Reposted by Queen Mother
Releasing my pheromones like venom
February 7, 2026 at 9:22 PM
Releasing my pheromones like venom
Not all of this blood is mine, okay
February 8, 2026 at 4:16 AM
Not all of this blood is mine, okay
Reposted by Queen Mother
Omw to pet your cat like
a man wearing a top hat and a blue jacket with the word berghaus on the front
Alt: a man wearing a top hat and a blue jacket with his hand outstretched glides forward without moving his limbs or body.
media.tenor.com
February 8, 2026 at 3:17 AM
Omw to pet your cat like
I want a Sherlock Holmes book but the mystery he solves is how to get me the good dickin'. Oh and there's dinosaurs too.
February 8, 2026 at 3:25 AM
I want a Sherlock Holmes book but the mystery he solves is how to get me the good dickin'. Oh and there's dinosaurs too.
Fighting the urge to skeet my bullshit so I get responses with this face
February 8, 2026 at 2:09 AM
Fighting the urge to skeet my bullshit so I get responses with this face
I just found out my cat's a pirate! He left so much buried treasure for me to uncover.
a woman in a white shirt is playing in the sand with a teddy bear in the background
Alt: a woman in a white shirt is digging in the sand with a teddy bear and beach toys in the background
media.tenor.com
February 8, 2026 at 1:53 AM
I just found out my cat's a pirate! He left so much buried treasure for me to uncover.
Why can't I have romance like this in my life?
I need someone to cradle me like an idiot baby and whisper demonic curses in my ear
February 8, 2026 at 1:17 AM
Why can't I have romance like this in my life?
Reposted by Queen Mother
I like how everyone on bluesky goes to the toilet with me so I don't get lonely
February 7, 2026 at 11:53 PM
I like how everyone on bluesky goes to the toilet with me so I don't get lonely
Reposted by Queen Mother
best friends are the worst influences
February 7, 2026 at 10:29 PM
best friends are the worst influences