Carrion Sam
@carrionsam.bsky.social
I'm perfect in every way, that's why people can't stand me
Pinned
Carrion Sam
@carrionsam.bsky.social
· Nov 15
Can someone take me in their cupped hands like a small frog and hide me in their pocket, please?
Reposted by Carrion Sam
let’s start cutting men’s dicks off for being sex pests
February 8, 2026 at 12:37 AM
let’s start cutting men’s dicks off for being sex pests
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Wait, THIS is young Anton Chekhov? This? Good lord. Let that gun go off, daddy
February 7, 2026 at 9:56 PM
Wait, THIS is young Anton Chekhov? This? Good lord. Let that gun go off, daddy
Reposted by Carrion Sam
[Couples counselling]
Goldfish husband: "I don't even know who you are any more."
Goldfish wife: "I don't remember what I ever saw in you"
Goldfish Counsellor: "Who are you guys, and how did you get in here?"
Goldfish husband: "I don't even know who you are any more."
Goldfish wife: "I don't remember what I ever saw in you"
Goldfish Counsellor: "Who are you guys, and how did you get in here?"
February 4, 2026 at 12:56 PM
[Couples counselling]
Goldfish husband: "I don't even know who you are any more."
Goldfish wife: "I don't remember what I ever saw in you"
Goldfish Counsellor: "Who are you guys, and how did you get in here?"
Goldfish husband: "I don't even know who you are any more."
Goldfish wife: "I don't remember what I ever saw in you"
Goldfish Counsellor: "Who are you guys, and how did you get in here?"
Reposted by Carrion Sam
a completely aleatorily-generated version of the 1982 sylvester stallone classic action flick. every time you watch it the name of the main character changes, or the weather of the setting, or a side character is added or removed. but it’s still mostly the same movie on the other side of it. rando
February 7, 2026 at 7:42 PM
a completely aleatorily-generated version of the 1982 sylvester stallone classic action flick. every time you watch it the name of the main character changes, or the weather of the setting, or a side character is added or removed. but it’s still mostly the same movie on the other side of it. rando
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Despite all my rage I still got plenty of rage.
February 7, 2026 at 7:43 PM
Despite all my rage I still got plenty of rage.
Reposted by Carrion Sam
I would love to follow more newbies back, but it’s dangerous to follow back accounts without inspecting them, and it can feel overwhelming at times.
You guys need to stop following everyone back. Someone with whom I share 2 mutuals just quoted my post with an antisemitic conspiracy theory 1/
You guys need to stop following everyone back. Someone with whom I share 2 mutuals just quoted my post with an antisemitic conspiracy theory 1/
February 7, 2026 at 7:46 PM
I would love to follow more newbies back, but it’s dangerous to follow back accounts without inspecting them, and it can feel overwhelming at times.
You guys need to stop following everyone back. Someone with whom I share 2 mutuals just quoted my post with an antisemitic conspiracy theory 1/
You guys need to stop following everyone back. Someone with whom I share 2 mutuals just quoted my post with an antisemitic conspiracy theory 1/
Reposted by Carrion Sam
(putting potatoes in my pants and pointing to my ass) the HILLS have EYES
February 7, 2026 at 6:35 PM
(putting potatoes in my pants and pointing to my ass) the HILLS have EYES
Reposted by Carrion Sam
i'm actually glad you didn't like my post, you have a smelly fingers vibe and was hoping you wouldn't touch it
February 7, 2026 at 9:06 AM
i'm actually glad you didn't like my post, you have a smelly fingers vibe and was hoping you wouldn't touch it
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Dude, you gotta just go to live shows. Go see live music. You don’t have to pay $400 for a ticket. You can pay $40 for two tickets and see two incredible bands that will stick with you forever, AND get half the band to sign your shirt at the merch table and it’s the coolest shit on the planet.
February 7, 2026 at 6:40 AM
Dude, you gotta just go to live shows. Go see live music. You don’t have to pay $400 for a ticket. You can pay $40 for two tickets and see two incredible bands that will stick with you forever, AND get half the band to sign your shirt at the merch table and it’s the coolest shit on the planet.
My youngest just asked me to help build her first resume
... my fucking heart...
... my fucking heart...
February 7, 2026 at 3:47 PM
My youngest just asked me to help build her first resume
... my fucking heart...
... my fucking heart...
We could jet in a stolen car
But I bet we wouldn't get too far
Before the transformation takes
And bloodlust tanks and crave gets slaked
My mind has changed, my body's frame
But, God, I like it
My heart's aflame, my body's strained
But, God, I like it
But I bet we wouldn't get too far
Before the transformation takes
And bloodlust tanks and crave gets slaked
My mind has changed, my body's frame
But, God, I like it
My heart's aflame, my body's strained
But, God, I like it
LERA LYNN // WOLF LIKE ME // TV ON THE RADIO
YouTube video by Lera Lynn
youtu.be
February 7, 2026 at 5:04 AM
We could jet in a stolen car
But I bet we wouldn't get too far
Before the transformation takes
And bloodlust tanks and crave gets slaked
My mind has changed, my body's frame
But, God, I like it
My heart's aflame, my body's strained
But, God, I like it
But I bet we wouldn't get too far
Before the transformation takes
And bloodlust tanks and crave gets slaked
My mind has changed, my body's frame
But, God, I like it
My heart's aflame, my body's strained
But, God, I like it
Reposted by Carrion Sam
I've been trapped in a game of Simon says since 1986
February 7, 2026 at 3:03 AM
I've been trapped in a game of Simon says since 1986
Come to think of it, do you think the Boys of Summer are just all these pretty pretty boys that she calls friends?
February 7, 2026 at 3:48 AM
Come to think of it, do you think the Boys of Summer are just all these pretty pretty boys that she calls friends?
Reposted by Carrion Sam
one of the greatest human triumphs of my lifetime is the relentless, unceasing, heroic effort by DECADES' worth of doctors and scientists to find a cure for a disease much of the world didn't take seriously for years because it predominantly affected a community they thought kinda deserved it
Just because good news is worth celebrating:
There is now a Prep medication that is an *every six month* injection.
HIV has, effectively, a vaccination.
There is now a Prep medication that is an *every six month* injection.
HIV has, effectively, a vaccination.
February 7, 2026 at 1:37 AM
one of the greatest human triumphs of my lifetime is the relentless, unceasing, heroic effort by DECADES' worth of doctors and scientists to find a cure for a disease much of the world didn't take seriously for years because it predominantly affected a community they thought kinda deserved it
Hey, on a much less pleasant note
The Epstein Files Are So Much Worse Than You Were Expecting. | FLESH SIMULATOR
YouTube video by FLESH SIMULATOR
youtu.be
February 7, 2026 at 3:03 AM
Hey, on a much less pleasant note
Together we have this love
Even so it's not enough
Bruised and burned we won't lose heart
Just because life gets hard
Writing lying emails to our friends back home
Feeling guilty if we sometimes wanna be alone
Hand cannot erase this love
Hand cannot erase this love
Even so it's not enough
Bruised and burned we won't lose heart
Just because life gets hard
Writing lying emails to our friends back home
Feeling guilty if we sometimes wanna be alone
Hand cannot erase this love
Hand cannot erase this love
Steven Wilson - Hand Cannot Erase - Lyrics
YouTube video by Ana Aguilera
youtu.be
February 7, 2026 at 2:54 AM
Together we have this love
Even so it's not enough
Bruised and burned we won't lose heart
Just because life gets hard
Writing lying emails to our friends back home
Feeling guilty if we sometimes wanna be alone
Hand cannot erase this love
Hand cannot erase this love
Even so it's not enough
Bruised and burned we won't lose heart
Just because life gets hard
Writing lying emails to our friends back home
Feeling guilty if we sometimes wanna be alone
Hand cannot erase this love
Hand cannot erase this love
Reposted by Carrion Sam
I rarely do this, but I’m hoping I maybe have enough of a following here that someone can help: I need to get in contact with Donkey Kong. It’s urgent
February 6, 2026 at 7:32 PM
I rarely do this, but I’m hoping I maybe have enough of a following here that someone can help: I need to get in contact with Donkey Kong. It’s urgent
Reposted by Carrion Sam
*a gentle breeze carries a napkin with unintelligible scribbles on it out a bus window*
“MY OEUVRE!” I cry.
“MY OEUVRE!” I cry.
February 6, 2026 at 3:05 PM
*a gentle breeze carries a napkin with unintelligible scribbles on it out a bus window*
“MY OEUVRE!” I cry.
“MY OEUVRE!” I cry.
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Help ceej, please.
I rarely do this, but I’m hoping I maybe have enough of a following here that someone can help: I need to get in contact with Donkey Kong. It’s urgent
February 6, 2026 at 7:50 PM
Help ceej, please.
Reposted by Carrion Sam
not enough tzatziki can be cucumbersome
August 9, 2025 at 9:11 PM
not enough tzatziki can be cucumbersome
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Please don't crush on me unless you are a hydraulic press
February 6, 2026 at 7:36 PM
Please don't crush on me unless you are a hydraulic press
Reposted by Carrion Sam
You *need* a random portion of your population to have flipped a coin between picky eating and "man I wonder what *that* tastes like" if you want to not starve to death or die of poisoning.
July 26, 2024 at 2:11 PM
You *need* a random portion of your population to have flipped a coin between picky eating and "man I wonder what *that* tastes like" if you want to not starve to death or die of poisoning.
Reposted by Carrion Sam
I wrote about the Epstein files (gift link) www.theverge.com/tech/874721/...
How the men in the Epstein files defeated #MeToo
The emails show the “anti-woke” crusaders are afraid of accountability.
www.theverge.com
February 6, 2026 at 3:09 PM
I wrote about the Epstein files (gift link) www.theverge.com/tech/874721/...
Reposted by Carrion Sam
I’m single coz I don’t like being told what to do and the men around here LOVE telling women what to do how to look what to shave what to say what to wear what to post what to drink which babies to slap what to suck who to murder where to put commas what to eat what to drink where to bury the bodies
February 6, 2026 at 7:58 PM
I’m single coz I don’t like being told what to do and the men around here LOVE telling women what to do how to look what to shave what to say what to wear what to post what to drink which babies to slap what to suck who to murder where to put commas what to eat what to drink where to bury the bodies