Carrion Sam
@carrionsam.bsky.social
I'm perfect in every way, that's why people can't stand me
Pinned
Carrion Sam
@carrionsam.bsky.social
· May 30
Talk to me
Are people really that dumb? More at 10
November 11, 2025 at 2:57 PM
Are people really that dumb? More at 10
Reposted by Carrion Sam
"I still believe that the world is flat."
"I can demonstrate that it isn't. Get in that boat and sail away from shore. Keep looking at that lighthouse until it disappears."
"OK. Then what?"
"Keep going."
"I can demonstrate that it isn't. Get in that boat and sail away from shore. Keep looking at that lighthouse until it disappears."
"OK. Then what?"
"Keep going."
March 12, 2025 at 11:12 AM
"I still believe that the world is flat."
"I can demonstrate that it isn't. Get in that boat and sail away from shore. Keep looking at that lighthouse until it disappears."
"OK. Then what?"
"Keep going."
"I can demonstrate that it isn't. Get in that boat and sail away from shore. Keep looking at that lighthouse until it disappears."
"OK. Then what?"
"Keep going."
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Devil: Is there a problem?
Soul: I was told there is a special place in hell for me. This is just okay.
Devil:
Soul: I'm a little let down.
Devil: Good.
Soul: I was told there is a special place in hell for me. This is just okay.
Devil:
Soul: I'm a little let down.
Devil: Good.
May 12, 2024 at 10:32 PM
Devil: Is there a problem?
Soul: I was told there is a special place in hell for me. This is just okay.
Devil:
Soul: I'm a little let down.
Devil: Good.
Soul: I was told there is a special place in hell for me. This is just okay.
Devil:
Soul: I'm a little let down.
Devil: Good.
Reposted by Carrion Sam
in all honesty tho, no matter how single and thirsty you are, i think we can all agree, it’d be pretty dangerous if it started raining men. a lot of people would die, or like, at least crack their spine on impact.
November 10, 2025 at 10:31 PM
in all honesty tho, no matter how single and thirsty you are, i think we can all agree, it’d be pretty dangerous if it started raining men. a lot of people would die, or like, at least crack their spine on impact.
Reposted by Carrion Sam
I just read that sex before marriage is a sin, unless you do it doggy style because all dogs go to heaven and that’s just beautiful. 😂🩷
November 8, 2025 at 6:36 PM
I just read that sex before marriage is a sin, unless you do it doggy style because all dogs go to heaven and that’s just beautiful. 😂🩷
pOTE QUOSTS
Pote quosts
pote quosts
November 10, 2025 at 11:01 PM
pOTE QUOSTS
Reposted by Carrion Sam
ME: i have teen-like reflexes
FRIEND: don't you mean cat-like
ME:
FRIEND:
ME:
FRIEND:
ME: *removes one earbud* what
FRIEND: don't you mean cat-like
ME:
FRIEND:
ME:
FRIEND:
ME: *removes one earbud* what
November 10, 2025 at 7:15 PM
ME: i have teen-like reflexes
FRIEND: don't you mean cat-like
ME:
FRIEND:
ME:
FRIEND:
ME: *removes one earbud* what
FRIEND: don't you mean cat-like
ME:
FRIEND:
ME:
FRIEND:
ME: *removes one earbud* what
Reposted by Carrion Sam
People will admit anything online
November 10, 2025 at 7:57 PM
People will admit anything online
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Hamburger helps those that help themselves
November 9, 2025 at 10:28 PM
Hamburger helps those that help themselves
Reposted by Carrion Sam
I will never forgive the cranks, quacks and charlatans who have brought god-damn measles back in this country
Canada is grappling with a “large, multi-jurisdictional outbreak of measles” that began in October last year.
globalnews.ca/news/1151951...
globalnews.ca/news/1151951...
Canada loses measles elimination status after outbreaks - National | Globalnews.ca
The Pan American Health Organization (PAHO) has notified the Public Health Agency of Canada (PHAC) that Canada no longer holds measles elimination status.
globalnews.ca
November 10, 2025 at 4:03 PM
I will never forgive the cranks, quacks and charlatans who have brought god-damn measles back in this country
Vapes are so unserious "hang on do you have a charger my cigarette is out of power" absolute buffoon of an apparatus
November 10, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Vapes are so unserious "hang on do you have a charger my cigarette is out of power" absolute buffoon of an apparatus
Ok who of you did that?
November 10, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Ok who of you did that?
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Calories don’t count when you are day drinking on a Sunday
November 9, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Calories don’t count when you are day drinking on a Sunday
*riding shotgun* I don't get it, it doesn't even move
November 9, 2025 at 8:54 PM
*riding shotgun* I don't get it, it doesn't even move
Reposted by Carrion Sam
tears are just eye piss
November 9, 2025 at 6:40 PM
tears are just eye piss
Reposted by Carrion Sam
“Listen Barbara, I’ll be at my sister’s until you can get your shit together. Please don’t forget to water the plants.”
November 9, 2025 at 1:57 PM
“Listen Barbara, I’ll be at my sister’s until you can get your shit together. Please don’t forget to water the plants.”
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Already run into kids who, when seeing my wildlife photos, exclaim 'that's AI'
I spotted this on Mastodon and I find it horrible, not least for the speed with which this has happened.
November 9, 2025 at 1:02 PM
Already run into kids who, when seeing my wildlife photos, exclaim 'that's AI'
Insane of Taylor Swift to write that someone opened her thighs like it was a sex act, when we all know her makers put her vagina behind her head and she's just got a Barbie Doll crotch down there.
November 9, 2025 at 5:50 PM
Insane of Taylor Swift to write that someone opened her thighs like it was a sex act, when we all know her makers put her vagina behind her head and she's just got a Barbie Doll crotch down there.
Reposted by Carrion Sam
You never really come upon someone taking a nude shower under a hidden waterfall these days. Too much internet.
November 9, 2025 at 5:43 PM
You never really come upon someone taking a nude shower under a hidden waterfall these days. Too much internet.
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Sorry I didn’t riff with you in the comments. It’s just that I think that you think I’m annoying and unfunny
November 9, 2025 at 3:00 AM
Sorry I didn’t riff with you in the comments. It’s just that I think that you think I’m annoying and unfunny
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Reposted by Carrion Sam
my japanese maple understands the value of being fashionably late
November 8, 2025 at 7:48 PM
my japanese maple understands the value of being fashionably late
Reposted by Carrion Sam
vegans use white paint and call it ranch
November 8, 2025 at 7:41 PM
vegans use white paint and call it ranch