Carrion Sam
@carrionsam.bsky.social
I'm perfect in every way, that's why people can't stand me
Pinned
Carrion Sam
@carrionsam.bsky.social
· May 30
Talk to me
Reposted by Carrion Sam
they did this to me for being late to work this morning
a pink pig with black socks on its legs
ALT: a pink pig with black socks on its legs
media.tenor.com
November 20, 2025 at 3:11 PM
they did this to me for being late to work this morning
Reposted by Carrion Sam
We are not a society built for properly healing from much of anything
November 20, 2025 at 2:15 AM
We are not a society built for properly healing from much of anything
Reposted by Carrion Sam
The line between real and unreal is surreal.
November 19, 2025 at 8:05 PM
The line between real and unreal is surreal.
Reposted by Carrion Sam
ME: can i borrow a pen
COWORKER: sure *hands me a pen*
ME: *throws it back at him* how is my pig supposed to fit in that
COWORKER: sure *hands me a pen*
ME: *throws it back at him* how is my pig supposed to fit in that
November 19, 2025 at 9:10 PM
ME: can i borrow a pen
COWORKER: sure *hands me a pen*
ME: *throws it back at him* how is my pig supposed to fit in that
COWORKER: sure *hands me a pen*
ME: *throws it back at him* how is my pig supposed to fit in that
Men will believe the little antennas that scientists install on some birds to follow their flight patterns are actually installed by spies as a government surveillance tool over citizens, yet buy tiny supercomputers with 24/7 GPS signal that link to and map every device around
November 19, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Men will believe the little antennas that scientists install on some birds to follow their flight patterns are actually installed by spies as a government surveillance tool over citizens, yet buy tiny supercomputers with 24/7 GPS signal that link to and map every device around
Reposted by Carrion Sam
me: dude i’m so f’n thirsty
friend: me too
me: i could go for some kool-
friend: NO! don’t say it
me: …aid?
friend:
me:
friend:
*there is a slow and steady knock at the door*
me: umm hello?
kool-aid man: my wife left me
friend: me too
me: i could go for some kool-
friend: NO! don’t say it
me: …aid?
friend:
me:
friend:
*there is a slow and steady knock at the door*
me: umm hello?
kool-aid man: my wife left me
November 19, 2025 at 12:37 PM
me: dude i’m so f’n thirsty
friend: me too
me: i could go for some kool-
friend: NO! don’t say it
me: …aid?
friend:
me:
friend:
*there is a slow and steady knock at the door*
me: umm hello?
kool-aid man: my wife left me
friend: me too
me: i could go for some kool-
friend: NO! don’t say it
me: …aid?
friend:
me:
friend:
*there is a slow and steady knock at the door*
me: umm hello?
kool-aid man: my wife left me
Reposted by Carrion Sam
For someone whose mantra is "it's fine, we're gonna die anyway," I'm pretty not chill.
November 19, 2025 at 11:36 AM
For someone whose mantra is "it's fine, we're gonna die anyway," I'm pretty not chill.
Reposted by Carrion Sam
One time I tried to do this gesture at someone I was mad at and punched myself in the face. I gave myself a black eye
November 19, 2025 at 11:38 AM
One time I tried to do this gesture at someone I was mad at and punched myself in the face. I gave myself a black eye
Reposted by Carrion Sam
freaking epic that's what
November 18, 2025 at 9:59 PM
freaking epic that's what
Reposted by Carrion Sam
I have the phrase “help I’m a big dumb baby and I’m scared of the great beyond” stuck in my head but I don’t know where it has come from
November 18, 2025 at 10:04 PM
I have the phrase “help I’m a big dumb baby and I’m scared of the great beyond” stuck in my head but I don’t know where it has come from
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Unpopular opinion: my opinions should be more popular
November 18, 2025 at 9:33 PM
Unpopular opinion: my opinions should be more popular
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Maverique folks can and do enjoy beatboxing and they’re still maverique because beatboxing is inherently schwifty
November 18, 2025 at 10:41 PM
Maverique folks can and do enjoy beatboxing and they’re still maverique because beatboxing is inherently schwifty
Reposted by Carrion Sam
hey scribes, here's a christmas movie practically writing itself 🎄❤️
November 18, 2025 at 9:03 PM
hey scribes, here's a christmas movie practically writing itself 🎄❤️
Reposted by Carrion Sam
"haha I want to kill my bitch wife and I love my dog 😂🤣"
Go back to Facebook, officer
Go back to Facebook, officer
November 18, 2025 at 1:43 PM
"haha I want to kill my bitch wife and I love my dog 😂🤣"
Go back to Facebook, officer
Go back to Facebook, officer
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Happy pride!
Here are some types of nonmonosexual people I love:
☆ gay gay people
☆ homosexual demiromantic agender women
☆ American aceflux men
☆ cis people who aren't out at work
☆ sapphic nonentities
☆ Slavic neutrois allosexual bogans
Here are some types of nonmonosexual people I love:
☆ gay gay people
☆ homosexual demiromantic agender women
☆ American aceflux men
☆ cis people who aren't out at work
☆ sapphic nonentities
☆ Slavic neutrois allosexual bogans
November 18, 2025 at 1:42 PM
Happy pride!
Here are some types of nonmonosexual people I love:
☆ gay gay people
☆ homosexual demiromantic agender women
☆ American aceflux men
☆ cis people who aren't out at work
☆ sapphic nonentities
☆ Slavic neutrois allosexual bogans
Here are some types of nonmonosexual people I love:
☆ gay gay people
☆ homosexual demiromantic agender women
☆ American aceflux men
☆ cis people who aren't out at work
☆ sapphic nonentities
☆ Slavic neutrois allosexual bogans
Reposted by Carrion Sam
I only buy bread so I don’t have to suffer the ignominy of putting slabs of butter directly in my mouth
November 18, 2025 at 1:31 AM
I only buy bread so I don’t have to suffer the ignominy of putting slabs of butter directly in my mouth
Reposted by Carrion Sam
they told you healing is witchcraft so you wouldn't want to do it
November 18, 2025 at 1:21 AM
they told you healing is witchcraft so you wouldn't want to do it
Reposted by Carrion Sam
I shouldn't be allowed to do things
November 18, 2025 at 1:34 AM
I shouldn't be allowed to do things
Reposted by Carrion Sam
I dont think people should be able to turn up in anyone's mentions and suggest their childhood abuse was actually god's will and a good thing
November 17, 2025 at 6:51 PM
I dont think people should be able to turn up in anyone's mentions and suggest their childhood abuse was actually god's will and a good thing
Reposted by Carrion Sam
if i had an arch nemesis id sneak into their home every time they were using a crockpot and turn it off
November 17, 2025 at 6:47 PM
if i had an arch nemesis id sneak into their home every time they were using a crockpot and turn it off
Reposted by Carrion Sam
The last decade in US politics
November 20, 2024 at 3:21 AM
The last decade in US politics
Reposted by Carrion Sam
If my cat tells you to do something, don't. She can't talk. So it's probably a skin walker or demon or some shit.
November 17, 2025 at 6:52 PM
If my cat tells you to do something, don't. She can't talk. So it's probably a skin walker or demon or some shit.
Reposted by Carrion Sam
I'm
⚪️ single
⚪️ taken
🔘 being held hostage by my cats
... ive said too much😱
⚪️ single
⚪️ taken
🔘 being held hostage by my cats
... ive said too much😱
November 16, 2025 at 2:21 AM
I'm
⚪️ single
⚪️ taken
🔘 being held hostage by my cats
... ive said too much😱
⚪️ single
⚪️ taken
🔘 being held hostage by my cats
... ive said too much😱
Reposted by Carrion Sam
Look, the phrase "pull oneself up by their own bootstraps" means to attempt something impossible. Stop suggesting people do the impossible and give them a fucking hand up.
November 17, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Look, the phrase "pull oneself up by their own bootstraps" means to attempt something impossible. Stop suggesting people do the impossible and give them a fucking hand up.
A regular moron is a moron, but it takes a special heavyweight kind of imbecile to actively choose to demonstrate it publicly
November 17, 2025 at 5:10 PM
A regular moron is a moron, but it takes a special heavyweight kind of imbecile to actively choose to demonstrate it publicly