Father Tim
@timfather.bsky.social
Not a priest. And my name's not Tim
Stay hydrated
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:35jhghs4olubzakttirev2vs/feed/aaaamlmjf63ri
🔞 He/Him, UK
Stay hydrated
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:35jhghs4olubzakttirev2vs/feed/aaaamlmjf63ri
🔞 He/Him, UK
Wait, you're saying Big Bird and Larry aren't related? The world is a stupid lie.
November 17, 2025 at 5:07 PM
Wait, you're saying Big Bird and Larry aren't related? The world is a stupid lie.
Reposted by Father Tim
Reposted by Father Tim
You're the funniest person I know, crazy category
November 17, 2025 at 4:21 PM
You're the funniest person I know, crazy category
On affairs of the heart I always trust to Kulauskaite...
'to make a fruit salad you need fruit and a sharp knife. But what use is cantaloupe in the trenches?'
'to make a fruit salad you need fruit and a sharp knife. But what use is cantaloupe in the trenches?'
November 17, 2025 at 3:35 PM
On affairs of the heart I always trust to Kulauskaite...
'to make a fruit salad you need fruit and a sharp knife. But what use is cantaloupe in the trenches?'
'to make a fruit salad you need fruit and a sharp knife. But what use is cantaloupe in the trenches?'
Seems like a made-up-quotes from people who don't exist, kind of day.
November 17, 2025 at 3:30 PM
Seems like a made-up-quotes from people who don't exist, kind of day.
Today, more than ever, we need the words of Dubrofnovsky:
'Football is a swordfight,
Swordfights are a chess match,
but chess... chess is war.'
'Football is a swordfight,
Swordfights are a chess match,
but chess... chess is war.'
November 17, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Today, more than ever, we need the words of Dubrofnovsky:
'Football is a swordfight,
Swordfights are a chess match,
but chess... chess is war.'
'Football is a swordfight,
Swordfights are a chess match,
but chess... chess is war.'
Reposted by Father Tim
At the launch of my book, I wore a gown that made from the duvet that was the favourite sleeping place of the dearly departed #cuddleUnit5, the cat who inspired a book and wanted only kibble in return.
Link to book here: cuddleUnit5.com
Link to book here: cuddleUnit5.com
November 16, 2025 at 9:12 PM
At the launch of my book, I wore a gown that made from the duvet that was the favourite sleeping place of the dearly departed #cuddleUnit5, the cat who inspired a book and wanted only kibble in return.
Link to book here: cuddleUnit5.com
Link to book here: cuddleUnit5.com
All of my stories are true.
November 16, 2025 at 5:16 PM
All of my stories are true.
Reposted by Father Tim
Anyone want a toastie?
November 15, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Anyone want a toastie?
Reposted by Father Tim
Goes the distance in the wrong direction.
November 15, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Goes the distance in the wrong direction.
When people save my posts I feel like it is to use against me later.
November 14, 2025 at 11:38 PM
When people save my posts I feel like it is to use against me later.
My multiverse shake brings every boy to a hypothetical set of all possible yards.
November 14, 2025 at 9:47 PM
My multiverse shake brings every boy to a hypothetical set of all possible yards.
Reposted by Father Tim
woodstock for sheep
woolstock
woolstock
November 14, 2025 at 3:20 PM
woodstock for sheep
woolstock
woolstock
*Adjusting my bow tie*
Mayhaps you are familiar with my series of posts: "the bat monologues?"
Them: I just need a name for the cup
Mayhaps you are familiar with my series of posts: "the bat monologues?"
Them: I just need a name for the cup
November 14, 2025 at 3:12 PM
*Adjusting my bow tie*
Mayhaps you are familiar with my series of posts: "the bat monologues?"
Them: I just need a name for the cup
Mayhaps you are familiar with my series of posts: "the bat monologues?"
Them: I just need a name for the cup
Reposted by Father Tim
Reposted by Father Tim
girls don't like boys girls like trumpets & bookmarks
November 14, 2025 at 1:18 PM
girls don't like boys girls like trumpets & bookmarks
I have eaten one and three-quarters of the rich and, yeah, I have vastly over-estimated my ability to do this alone.
November 13, 2025 at 7:46 PM
I have eaten one and three-quarters of the rich and, yeah, I have vastly over-estimated my ability to do this alone.
Reposted by Father Tim
I remember one time my wife got mad at me for accidentally stepping on a spider so I said 'calm down PETA Parker' lol, and you guys, that did not help. At all.
November 13, 2025 at 6:15 PM
I remember one time my wife got mad at me for accidentally stepping on a spider so I said 'calm down PETA Parker' lol, and you guys, that did not help. At all.
Reposted by Father Tim
video games are like life
sometimes, there's a dog
sometimes, there's a dog
November 13, 2025 at 7:17 PM
video games are like life
sometimes, there's a dog
sometimes, there's a dog
Reposted by Father Tim
dog: woof
me: as I suspected
dog: woof
me: thank you for clarifying
me: as I suspected
dog: woof
me: thank you for clarifying
November 13, 2025 at 1:50 AM
dog: woof
me: as I suspected
dog: woof
me: thank you for clarifying
me: as I suspected
dog: woof
me: thank you for clarifying
Reposted by Father Tim
The fine art of posting drivel
November 11, 2025 at 5:25 PM
The fine art of posting drivel
Reposted by Father Tim
I may be an idiot, but at least I'm inception-proof
November 12, 2025 at 7:46 PM
I may be an idiot, but at least I'm inception-proof
Reposted by Father Tim
EXIT, PURSUED BY A BEAR: This is from a project I've started with my long-time writing partner, Karen Duffy. I think it's pretty good!
www.centiday.com/p/exit-pursu...
www.centiday.com/p/exit-pursu...
EXIT, PURSUED BY A BEAR
This is a pro-bear Substack
www.centiday.com
November 12, 2025 at 6:22 PM
EXIT, PURSUED BY A BEAR: This is from a project I've started with my long-time writing partner, Karen Duffy. I think it's pretty good!
www.centiday.com/p/exit-pursu...
www.centiday.com/p/exit-pursu...
At night you speak to me in dreams. Often I cannot catch the words but they still reassure. Sometimes, on the edge of consciousness, meaning filters through:
"What's wrong with you?"
You always did know what to say.
"What's wrong with you?"
You always did know what to say.
November 12, 2025 at 2:39 PM
At night you speak to me in dreams. Often I cannot catch the words but they still reassure. Sometimes, on the edge of consciousness, meaning filters through:
"What's wrong with you?"
You always did know what to say.
"What's wrong with you?"
You always did know what to say.
Owners of several multi-million $ a year patents for new EL tech, the bats purchase an island in the Indian Ocean & retire there.
Having reconciled, Denis and I remain in correspondence for many years until my death. At my funeral Denis reads the Eulogy and performs in one final Shower of Bats.
Having reconciled, Denis and I remain in correspondence for many years until my death. At my funeral Denis reads the Eulogy and performs in one final Shower of Bats.
November 12, 2025 at 2:31 PM
Owners of several multi-million $ a year patents for new EL tech, the bats purchase an island in the Indian Ocean & retire there.
Having reconciled, Denis and I remain in correspondence for many years until my death. At my funeral Denis reads the Eulogy and performs in one final Shower of Bats.
Having reconciled, Denis and I remain in correspondence for many years until my death. At my funeral Denis reads the Eulogy and performs in one final Shower of Bats.